December 2008

Help

Before I became a mother, I had only two arms.

Or maybe a better way to put it is: before I became a mother, my two arms performed the functions of—well—two arms. Now, four children later, my arms perform at least as many functions as those of an octopus. They’re about that flexible, too.

For instance, one time, I was on my way to or from somewhere my van. I only had my youngest child, then-four-and-a-half-week-old Jessica, with me at the time. Jessica’s carrier was strapped onto the bench seat behind the space between the driver’s and passenger’s seats.

As I drove down the road, blissfully immersed in my own thoughts (instead of having to talk to anyone) and the silence of the CD player (instead of kids’ music), Jessica began to fuss. Without looking backwards, I reached behind me and into the carrier to replace the pacifier in Jessica’s mouth.

You can imagine how it went. As I was trying to drive and replace the pacifier by feel, Jessica was whipping her head from side to side with her eyes closed, waving her little arms up and down. She was seeking the pacifier, but her arms kept getting in the way of my hand’s bringing the pacifier close. Even had I been able to get close, it would have been difficult to hit the moving target of her mouth. I finally had to gently brace her head still with some of my fingers while the rest of my fingers located her mouth and stuck the pacifier in.

It would have been much easier had Jessica simply remained still and waited for me to insert the pacifier. But of course, she didn’t do that. She was so anxious to get what she wanted that she was seeking it with all her might. The only problem was that in trying to help herself, she actually kept herself from receiving it.

I wonder…how many times have you and I done the same thing with God?

How many times have we screamed desperately for relief, doing everything within our limited power to grasp it, thinking that God was slow in responding, when all the while it was our flailing and thrashing about that prevented us from receiving the relief God was trying to offer?

I know there have been times in my life when I have begged God for an answer but then not really listened for it.

There have been times when God required something from me in order to receive relief, but I didn’t do it.

Then, there have been times when I simply wailed out my anger, frustration, or pain, and never really asked for relief, preferring instead to complain.

I could give other examples. You probably could, too, of times in your own life when you interfered with the relief that God was trying to give.

Why do we do this?

Jessica interfered with my attempts to help her because of her immaturity. At four and a half weeks, she had no way to understand that if she would just sit still, I could help her sooner. Even if she could understand, she probably couldn’t control her raging needs well enough to comply.

Could it be that we, too, are immature sometimes?

Sometimes, we don’t know how to respond so as to receive the help we need most quickly. Sometimes, we know what we should do, but we can’t control our raging emotions well enough to do what we know we should.

Let me suggest something you can do the next time you’re there—“there” being a place where you are desperate for relief and either don’t know how to get it, or can’t calm down enough to comply with what you know you should do.

A simple prayer is enough: “God, help.”

Fortunately, God does not require that our prayers be long and flowery, or articulate. He accepts simple prayers that come from a right heart. And even when circumstances, or emotions, are swirling so fast or strongly around us that we feel overwhelmed, we can at least pray, “God, help.”

You see, what you and I need most is to be in communication with God. Amazingly, God has promised to hear and answer our prayers, and he will do so in any and every circumstance.

So pray. “God, help.” And then do your best to get out of the way.

Isaiah 65:24—Before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.

Pink Icing with Sprinkles

Recently, a new bakery opened not too far from our house, on a street we travel frequently. Every time we drove past it, my husband or I would say, “We really ought to try them out one day.”

One day, it was time. My husband was driving past it with the three older kids with him, and he decided to stop in. They parked and went into the store.

The bakery was filled with all kinds of luscious Mexican pastries and baked goods, the likes of which the kids had never seen before. The cases were stocked with delicious-looking treats, with fancy designs and colors of icing. Our kids looked around at all the beautiful things, trying to decide which they wanted.

It was then that they came to the case in the back. In that case were relatively plain, cake-looking pastries with pink icing and sprinkles on top. No exotic colors or artistry, just plain, we’ve-seen-this-before, pink icing and sprinkles.

So, faced with the choice between something elegant, fancy, and new, and something plain that they were used to, our gourmet kids chose…that’s right…the cake with pink icing and sprinkles.

When my husband came home and told me about it, I thought it was kind of funny. In the wonderland of baked goods, the kids had chosen traditional.

Then, I realized something that wasn’t so funny.

We are lot like that, spiritually speaking.

You see, our Father has prepared a vast array of delights for us. He’s prepared things we’ve never seen before, things that would fill our spiritual senses and delight us, if we would just try them.

Instead, we ignore his treasures spread out before us, and we choose what we’re used to. The same old stuff is good enough, so why would we want to risk trying something more?

Friends, we often don’t experience even a fraction of the pleasures God has for us because we think what we are used to is good enough. After all, it’s rather pleasing, so why risk stepping out on faith and trying something new? We might not like it.

The analogy ends there, because in the case of my kids, it’s entirely possible that they wouldn’t have enjoyed a different treat, had they selected one. But it is not in the least possible that we would not delight in the spiritual treats God has for us, if we would just be willing to try them.

Risk speaking to someone God directs us to speak to? No way. What if they rejected us, or worse, laughed at us?

Risk taking a new job, or a new position at church, and doing something we’ve never done before? No way. What if we failed? That might make us look bad.

Risk obeying God’s instructions to the fullest, even if that causes us to suffer in some way? Never. Who wants to suffer?

It’s all about priorities. Of course, no one enjoys suffering, or rejection. But if our priority is to experience the abundant life God has for us, we need to realize that it may not look quite like we would design it.

Would we rather live safely, sure of acceptance, or would we rather experience the joy of knowing what it’s like to stand alone for Christ?

Would we rather live comfortably, free from as much suffering as possible, or would we rather know the pleasures of being right in the center of God’s will?

Would we rather have the pink icing with sprinkles, or would we rather taste one of God’s myriad spiritual treasures?

You see, pink icing with sprinkles is tasty. It’s good enough. But it will never lead you to pleasures beyond anything you’ve ever imagined.

Ephesians 3:20-21—Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

Mommy, You Can Do It!

I enjoy running. I like to run through my neighborhood or in one of a couple special locations nearby. I love the way it taxes my body and the sense of accomplishment I feel when I am done. Basically, I love almost everything about it.

Ellie and Lindsey like to go with me when I run. If they are at home when I go, they always ask to go with me. Of course, at five-and-a-half and two-and-a-half, they can’t keep up the pace I can. This means I have to push them in our double stroller.

It is definitely not a jogging stroller. It is heavy, and it doesn’t steer well. With the weight of the two girls, combined with the stroller’s weight, I’m probably pushing an extra hundred pounds when I take them with me. Needless to say, this makes my workout quite a bit more difficult.

One morning when I decided to go running, Lindsey was at preschool, so I took only Ellie. I may have taken the baby, too. In any case, I was pushing close to a hundred pounds and trying to improve upon my previous run. It was tough.

One thing you should know about Ellie is that she is a great encourager. She is quick to see that someone needs encouragement and to come alongside them. In this case, I was the person in need.

I had made some comment about how I still had five minutes to go. I don’t remember if I specifically mentioned that the run was difficult, or if she must have heard it in my voice. In any case, Ellie said, “Do you need some encouragement?”

“Yes, I do,” I said.

So for the next five minutes, she sang, “Mommy, you can do it,” over and over, to the same tune, one which she had made up.

I have finished runs with more energy left, but I have never finished a run feeling more uplifted.

“Mommy, you can do it,” she sang, over and over and over.

I can still hear her sweet little voice singing to me.

When it came time for my cool-down period, I slowed to a walk. I let my breathing slow down a little, and then, I said, “Ellie, thank you for encouraging me. You really made me feel better, and you helped me finish running when it was difficult.”

“You’re welcome,” she said.

“And Ellie, I want you to know something,” I said.

“What?”

“I want you to know that just as you encouraged me when I was having a difficult time, God can and will encourage you when you are having a difficult time. All you have to do is ask him.”

Dear mommy friend, the same thing applies to us as mommies. Yes, God sometimes encourages us without our asking for it. But sometimes, he waits for us to ask him for what we need.

As I told Ellie, if we ask, God will be there, and he will encourage us. Maybe the encouragement won’t come in the way we were hoping for or expecting, but it will come.

There are times when God chooses to let us walk by faith without the specific word from him that we are looking for. But even in those times, we have the encouragement found in the Bible, and we can know that it is true even if we don’t have the emotions we would like to accompany it.

As I ran those last five minutes, I heard Ellie’s song over and over. Its sweetness flowed into my soul and gave me the endurance I needed to press on joyfully.

Was the run still difficult? Yes…and no.

Physically, it was still difficult. Those hundred pounds hadn’t gotten any lighter. But mentally, and in my heart, the rest of the run was a breeze.

I ran joyfully.

I wonder…is it possible to run the race of life joyfully even when things are difficult?

It is.

With God’s encouragement, his strength, and his joy, we can run well even when we’re pushing a hundred extra pounds. Maybe we can’t run fast, but we can run well.

That last five minutes was probably the slowest part of my run, but it was the best. My attitude was even better then than it had been at the beginning, when I ran with little difficulty.

The same can be true for any of us in any situation.

Maybe your situation, maybe someday mine, is difficult, tragic, even agonizing. That part may not change, just as the weight I was pushing didn’t change.

But what can change is the weight of your soul.

You can’t do it on your own. But God can, and will. How do we know? Because he’s promised.

From the front seat of the stroller, Ellie’s encouragement helped me finish my run.

From alongside you and within you, God’s encouragement will bear you up and carry you home.

Isaiah 40:31—But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Nehemiah 8:10—The joy of the LORD is your strength.

Isaiah 46:4—Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Fourth Place

When I became pregnant with my first child, I was ecstatic—not only because I was going to have a baby, but because this pregnancy came after infertility treatments. Throughout my pregnancy, I continued to rejoice. I did all the things many moms do: I registered at Babies “R” Us and Target; I told everyone I knew about my baby; I was given six baby showers; I made arrangements to quit work three weeks before she would be born, in order to become a stay-at-home mom; and I even joined a prenatal fitness class.

Perhaps one of the most meaningful things I did, however, was write letters.

I don’t remember where I had gotten the idea, but I began writing my baby letters shortly after I knew there would be a baby. I wanted to tell her everything, about all the preparations, all the excitement, all the things that happened, and other people’s reactions.

Most of all, I wanted to pour out my love to her.

You see, I loved her even before she was born. As soon as I found out she existed, I loved her with all the mother-love my heart could hold. As my belly grew, so did my love for the little one living inside me. When she was finally born and they put her into my arms, I was amazed at the intensity of the love I already felt for her.

I remember vividly one day in the hospital, holding her in the crook of my arm as she slept, and thinking that if anyone came into my room and tried to hurt my baby, I would defend her with my life.

Why? Because I loved her so much.

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I was again elated. But this time I had a new concern.

Would I be able to love my second child as much as I loved my first?

I couldn’t comprehend how I could love any other child, even one of my own, as much as I loved my daughter, considering the all-consuming love I had for her.

You know what happened. When my son was born, I loved him, too—just as much as I loved my daughter. Oh, it took some time for our relationship to become as close as that with my daughter, considering that I had spent eighteen months with her, and had barely known my son. But I loved him every bit as much as I loved her. I don’t know how it happened, but my love for my daughter didn’t lessen. Instead, I somehow had an equal amount of love from my son. I know, of course, that God had put this love in my heart, enabling me to love more than one child.

It was the same way with my third child—that additional love was there, available for her.

It was the same way with my fourth child, too. I don’t love the fourth one less than the first, or the second or the third. She’s not in fourth place. I love them all equally.

Aren’t you glad God loves in the same way? Oh, I’m not saying that I love as perfectly as God loves. Far from it. What I am saying is that I’m very glad that with each additional child that comes into His fold, God has more than enough love to love them, too. He doesn’t love me less than my mom, just because she was “born again” first. Nor does He love my daughter any less than He loves me, just because she was born again later.

Praise God and His magnificent love, He loves us all with the same intense, all-consuming love, no matter where we fall in the birth order.

Think about that for a minute. God’s love is so great and so vast that He has enough love to completely, totally cover every one of his children from the beginning of time up until now, and from now until eternity begins.

Isn’t that an amazing amount of love? And it’s never going to be all used up. No matter how many people become God’s children, His love will never have reached its limit. There is no maximum capacity for God’s love.

I ask again: isn’t that amazing?

Take some time today and meditate on the vastness and completeness of God’s love. Marvel that He extends that love to you, and that He has plenty to extend to your children.

And then pray He will help you to love as He does—completely.

May your love be all the love a child could ever want from an earthly parent, just as God’s love is more than we could ever imagine.

Strategy

Usually, I’m not much for playing computer games. There is one I really enjoy, however. It’s called Peggle. Basically, you shoot a little ball at an array of pegs, and you try to knock out all the orange ones. It’s simple, clean, and fun.

My kids really enjoy it, too. Ellie, at five-and-a-half, is old enough to play on her own. She also likes to watch her daddy and me play, as do the others—even the baby. If I’m at the computer, and one of the kids comes by, he or she will frequently ask, “Will you play Peggle, Mommy?”

When I play, I usually have at least one child watching, and often more. Kenny offers advice such as, “Win, Mommy! Win!” Ellie will say, “Get that one, Mommy,” touching the screen to point to a particular peg, thereby blocking my view of it. As I play, she’ll dance around in nervous tension or suck in her breath as she waits for me to make a shot, especially as the number of balls in the ball-o-tron runs out.

When I win, the kids are excited. They will grin and cheer loudly and enthusiastically. “You did it, Mommy!” “Yayyyyyyyyyyy!”

Sometimes, however, my ideas of what it is going to take to win differ from their ideas.

I usually have a particular strategy in mind in trying to clear the orange pegs, or sometimes, the whole board. Ellie has her own ideas of what I should do, and she generously shares them with me. “Mommy, get that one. No, that one.” (Big sigh.) “Mommy, you—” (Sighhhhhh.)

Clearly, how I’m playing doesn’t match up with her idea of how I ought to be playing, and this frustrates her. It frustrates me, too, that she gets frustrated with my playing when actually, I understand the game better than she does.

If she just knew the game better, I think to myself, she’d understand what I was doing and wouldn’t try to offer me advice.

Sounds like something God could say about us, doesn’t it?

It’s the same answer God gave to Job when Job was questioning him. Instead of directly answering the question, God pointed out that Job wasn’t present when God created the world, Job didn’t have the ability to create the world, and Job didn’t really understand how creation worked.

In other words, who was Job to question God?

Dear sister in Christ, do you question God’s strategy? Do you give him demands loosely disguised as suggestions regarding how the world—or just your life—should be run?

Maybe you would never directly tell God what you think he should do. Maybe you are always careful to add the phrase “Lord willing” after your requests. If you are sincere, that’s wonderful. But consider this: when life doesn’t work out as you think it should, do you get angry?

We don’t get angry at someone we think is doing the right thing. We only get angry when we think someone is doing something wrong.

Friends, I’ve been there, too. I’ve been angry at God. I’ve questioned his strategy pretty directly at times.

That’s sin.

Asking God “Why?” is okay, if we’re really asking for information. If we’re questioning his right to do something, or his wisdom or goodness in doing it, that’s not okay.

True, some things that happen to us are not “good”. But we must not allow the bad things in our lives to make us question God’s character or sovereignty.

You see, we don’t have the big picture. We don’t know everything God knows. We don’t have the pure and holy motivations God has. We can’t see eternity.

Why, then, would we think we are competent to question his strategy?

Sometimes, life hurts so badly that we cry out to God. Crying out to him and begging him for answers is okay. God expects and encourages us to seek him desperately when the world is falling down around our ears.

But we must always remember that he understands in ways we are incapable of. And we must make the choice to trust him to have the right strategy for running his world.

Is it an easy choice to make? No. It’s simple, but it’s not easy, especially in the face of suffering and agony.

But trusting him is the only reasonable choice to make.

You see, either he is God, or he isn’t. Either he is capable of determining the best strategy for running the world he created, or he isn’t. Either he is good all the time, or he isn’t.

What do your emotions say that you believe?

Isaiah 55:9—As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.