October 2009

Feeling Brave

My six-year-old, Ellie, is learning to ride her bike. She likes to practice any chance she gets. At this point, she uses training wheels, and she often prefers when I walk nearby. Recently, she has pedaled away on her own a few times, but she still likes it better when I can be right there.

One time, she wanted me to take her bike riding, and I was unable to. So she asked Daddy. Daddy agreed, and Ellie gave him some instructions. “I still need your help, though,” she said. “So walk by me, and put your hand on my back, just like Mommy does. Just a little; not too much. When Mommy does that, it helps me feel brave.”

I knew that when I placed my hand on her back, at about shoulder-blade level, she rode better and faster. But I had never thought about it in terms of my touch giving her courage.

Isn’t that a beautiful picture of what our Father does for us?

God knows that sometimes, we’re uncertain. Sometimes, we’re not all that brave. Other times, we’re just plain scared. So He places His hand at our back as we try to figure out how to balance. His touch is light enough so we can stretch our wings a little, but heavy enough to remind us He’s there. And He walks along beside us as we head into the unknown.

I wonder what you and I would have the confidence to attempt if we could truly grasp the fact that God’s hand is keeping us from falling.

Granted, there are times bad things do happen to us, which God chooses not to prevent. But I am describing here what happens when God calls us to do something. In other words, He asks us to learn to ride.

God never calls us to something we’re unable to do, then refuses to help us learn to do it. He doesn’t set us up to fail. He wants us to succeed. He wants us to be able to perform the work He has for us. So He does everything in His incredible power to fit us for fulfilling our calling.

You might be learning how to study your Bible. Or maybe you’re trying to reach out to people more often. Maybe you’re preparing for a particular avenue of ministry, or going back to school. For sure, you’re trying to be the best mom you can be.

Friend, you don’t make the attempt alone. God is with you, and He’s even closer than right beside you. If you are His child, His spirit is within you. He will see you through this process you’ve started, for as long as it takes.

I wonder what kind of confidence it would give us if we only realized that God is right there throughout our attempts.

We could start forward in boldness, knowing that God will catch us if we begin to fall. After all, can we not trust Him to enable us to successfully perform that which He’s called us to do? You see, I know how to protect Ellie on her bike, and any loving thing I can do is only an imperfect shadow of what our Heavenly Father can do for us.

Every time Ellie and I go outside for her to practice bike riding, she chooses to place her trust in me. Why? Because she knows I have been trustworthy in the past, and she has confidence in my ability to keep her safe.

God is infinitely more trustworthy than even the best parent in the world, and He is certainly more able. Should we then not have far greater confidence in our Father than Ellie has in me?

Ellie knows she can’t ride a bike on her own. You and I know that we can’t fulfill what God has asked us to do on our own. But just as Ellie can ride when she has my help, we can accomplish anything God has called us to do when we have His enabling power—which is always.

Is there some area in your life where you’re still standing up on the porch, looking at the bike, afraid to get on and try? Have you forgotten that with your Father’s help, you can ride?

Come down off the porch. Your Father is waiting to help you.

Philippians 4:13—I am strong in all things through the one empowering me.

Soundtrack

Sometimes, I wonder which memories will stand out when I look back on this time in my life. When my children are grown and gone, what will I remember from the days when they were young?

I was wondering about that not too long ago. It was a day when everything was going right. My heart overflowed with gratitude to God for the four precious gifts He’s given me, and with love for my children. As I watched them play, the thought hit me, as it has before, that one day, these days are going to be gone. One day, my children will be older, and these wonderful, magical years will have flown by.

Oh, I’ll admit there are days that seem far less magical than others. But right now, there is exquisite joy in watching them play, in seeing them run around the house, in hearing their childish requests, in being needed. My heart hurt at the realization that one day, I will no longer be able to cuddle them the same way I do now. I won’t see them running through my home, smiling and carefree, making their own endless entertainment. Everything will be different, and though I know that in some ways things will be even better, I also know that I will miss these times we have together now.

What will I miss most when I think back? I wondered, and the answer came: their laughter. I’ve heard their laughter so many times, and it has come to mean so much to me, that I can’t imagine being without it.

When the kids were smaller, I used to make it my goal to make them giggle wildly at least once a day, because kids deserve to be able to laugh like that. We still laugh together every day. We play games together, and we tickle each other. We tell jokes, and we share funny stories and discoveries. All of these are occasions for laughter. Sometimes, we laugh for no reason at all except delight in something, or in just being together.

Yes, there are times when the sounds in our home are not so pleasant. If you could listen to us, you would sometimes hear harsh words, anger, or frustration. But most often, you would hear laughter.

For our home, and hopefully for yours, laughter is like the soundtrack of a movie. When you’re watching a movie, you don’t usually notice the music because you’re paying more attention to the action. Laughter is like that. It plays unobtrusively in the background. It’s not as noticeable as the jarring notes of anger and disobedience, despite the fact that the latter make up only a few measures of the entire score.

At least, it should be that way. If it isn’t—if the dissonant, inharmonious notes comprise the main soundtrack, with the laughter making up only brief interludes—do something about that now, before intermission, or worse, before the end of the piece. You can change the composition in the middle. Turn it into a beautiful symphony that blesses you and all those around you.

But stop and listen a minute. Is that laughter you hear, playing in the background of your family’s life? Is your soundtrack already beautiful, even if you haven’t noticed? If so, praise God for its beauty. Thank Him for the laughter and the sounds of love and joy that you regularly hear around your home. Learn to listen for the sweet notes more than you do to the strident ones.

What do you hear in the soundtrack of your home?

Part of what you hear depends on the melodies the Composer has woven into His masterpiece. But part of it also depends on what you’ve learned to hear.

I pray you hear laughter.

Psalm 126:2—Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, “The LORD has done great things for them.”

Diligence

My daughter Ellie is a good worker. For example, when I ask her to clean something, she does a great job, even down to the small details. Because she is six, however, there are times when it is difficult for her to stay on task.

Once, I had assigned Ellie a job to do. I went to check on her and found her doing something else. “Ellie, you’re supposed to be doing your job,” I said.

“I was,” Ellie said. She then explained how she thought that the thing she had stopped to do was helpful also.

I could see her point. She was trying very hard to be helpful, as she almost always does. But she needed to finish the work I’d given her.

“Ellie,” I said, “I expect you to do the job I gave you without letting anything else interfere.”

If only I performed the duties God assigns me in the same way I expect Ellie to carry out those I assign her. Too often, however, I allow other things to get in the way.

Usually, those things aren’t “bad” in and of themselves. Playing games, reading, and resting can be good—even very good. They only become bad when we allow our participation in them to distract us from our primary responsibilities.

Playing word games on the computer, which I love to do, might be a great way to unwind after a stressful day. It might also be sinful, if I were to allow my time on the computer to crowd out my time in the Word. Reading can be relaxing and edifying. It can also take up too much of my time, if I’m not careful, leaving me too little time to accomplish the other things I should be doing, such as taking care of my home.

What things tend to distract you from your primary responsibilities? Do you spend too much time shopping, talking to your friends, or even serving on church committees?

None of these things is intrinsically bad. But not one of them is worthy to be put ahead of our primary responsibilities.

What are our primary responsibilities? To answer that question, I borrow an answer from the Westminster Shorter Catechism. In response to the question, “What is the chief end of man?” the answer is, “To glorify God and enjoy Him forever.”

That, dear friends, is our primary responsibility: to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. We must not allow anything to interfere with that.

Is there anything that keeps you from the purpose for which you were created? Is there anything that makes it more difficult for you to carry out your assignment?

If something is already coming to mind, confess it to your Father. Tell Him you don’t want anything to interfere with your carrying out His purpose. If nothing comes to mind, but you have the feeling that there might be something, ask God. He’ll tell you. And if you’re sure that there isn’t anything, that you’re completely on track—well, make sure in prayer that you’re right. Sometimes we don’t even realize where we’re going wrong.

Whether you’ve been a Christian for a week or for twenty years; whether your heart is truly devoted to God, or whether it’s divided; whether you know what the next step is, or whether you have no clue—commit yourself anew to God. Lay your heart, life, and service before Him. Ask Him to help you keep your eyes focused on Him when the things of this world, or your own desires, try to turn you aside.

It’s much more than the right thing to do. It’s the first step in entering into the incredible life God offers you—a life where your greatest glory is glorifying Him, and your greatest desire is eternally satisfied in enjoying Him forever.

There’s nothing that’s worth turning aside from all that.

Psalm 119:37—Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.

The Heart of a Lindsey

You’ve heard it said that a brave person has “the heart of a lion”. This phrase describes someone who exhibits ultimate courage in the face of even the fiercest enemy, and who doesn’t give up, no matter what.

It’s true that lions are brave. They aren’t called “King of the Jungle” for nothing.

But I submit to you that not even a lion has a heart like my Lindsey.

Lindsey is an incredible kid in many ways. She’s delightful, quirky, funny, creative, compassionate…I could go on for hours. But today, the precious aspect of her that I want to share with you is her can-do, never-say-die spirit.

Lindsey has exhibited this quality hundreds of times. One of the most recent was less than two weeks ago. All four kids and I were outside. Kenny and Jessica were playing together, and Ellie and Lindsey were riding their bikes (both have training wheels) with me close by.

Lindsey has learned to ride without help, for the most part. She still falls down occasionally, but she gets up and gets going again. On this day, she fell, and she said, “I fall down a lot.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Everyone falls down when they’re learning to ride.”

“I fell down again,” she said a few minutes later, when the same thing happened.

“You’re doing great,” I said. “You can do it. I know you can.”

A few minutes later, Lindsey fell down a third time.

This time, she stayed where she had fallen, propped up and looking at me, her legs still wrapped around the bike. Her beautiful brown eyes looked especially large, her face serious. “I’m not going to give up, no matter what,” she said.

That, my friend, is the heart of a Lindsey.

It would have been much easier for Lindsey to say, “I didn’t know learning to ride a bike was going to mean falling down. Forget it. I quit.” But she didn’t. Instead, she realized that bumps and bruises were a part of the process, and she was willing to accept that. They weren’t going to make her quit.

I won’t give up, no matter what.

Do you and I give up? When start down a path we believe God has for us, only to encounter road bumps that throw us off the seat and pitch us into the dirt, how do we respond?

Granted, there may be times when God places obstacles in our path because we are riding in a direction He doesn’t want us to go. It requires prayer and discernment through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to discern whether the roadblocks are meant to warn us, or are simply the result of living in a fallen world, where things don’t always go perfectly even when the course is right.

If they are the latter, we dare not give up. Why? Because we’ll miss out on the incredible blessings God has for us. Not only will we never reach God’s intended goal if we give up, but we’ll miss out on learning from the complications.

Why do we expect everything to be smooth sailing, anyway? More often than not in this life, there are difficulties. Why are we surprised, as if something strange is happening to us?

There are much better things in life even than pain-free roads. Lindsey is going to be a better person for having persevered through her difficulties to the day when she finally learns to ride a bike with no training wheels. She’ll be free as the wind, and it will all be because she was willing to undergo the training process.

You and I can be better people, too, for having endured the loose gravel (or even boulders) on our road. I don’t say that we will be better people, because it all depends on our response, on what we let God do in our lives with our difficult experiences. It could be that we wind up bitter and disappointed, angry at God and at the world.

Or it could be that we become beautiful, because by learning perseverance through suffering, we are becoming more like the Lord Jesus.

The obstacles you encounter may not be your choice. But the kind of person you become because of them, is.

I know that getting up and getting back on the bike hurts. Sometimes, getting spilled into the dirt leaves us with wounds that don’t heal easily, or maybe ever. But because of the beautiful, gracious mercy of God, we don’t have to get up in our own strength.

What do you think I would have done if Lindsey had lain in the road, crying piteously, “Mommy, help”? I would have done the same thing you would have—gone to her, picked her up, set her on her feet, wiped her tears, and helped her get going again. And if I, being evil, can love my child like that, how much more will our heavenly Father pick us up when we fall, wipe our tears, and help us get going again?

When you have no strength left, and no will even to rise, if you call out to God, His strength will be enough for you. He will do for you what you can’t do for yourself.

That’s what He did when He raised you from spiritual death to spiritual life.

And that’s what He’ll do in raising you from the side of the road.

Will you let Him?

I won’t give up, no matter what.

What do you choose?

1 Peter 4:12—Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.

Psalm 61:2—From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.