March 2010

Dashed Hopes

Megan Breedlove March 29, 2010 No Comments

Imagine that you have a daughter who, from a very early age, shows talent in gymnastics. You enroll her in classes when she turns three, and the coach is amazed at her performance. By the time she’s six, she’s practicing at the gym fourteen hours a week. At twelve, she’s competing at the junior national level.

At fifteen, your daughter makes the Olympic team. A few months later, you travel with her to the Olympics. You’re there for every moment of competition as she earns a spot in the top tier of gymnasts who will go on to compete for medals.

Then, it happens. She hits the springboard, mounts the balance beam…wobbles…and falls. You hear the gasps and murmurs of disappointment from the people sitting around you.

She finishes with a dismal score on beam, and her scores on the other three events aren’t much better. Newscasters and media articles rip her to shreds for not living up to expectations. It’s obvious that they’re not only disappointed in her performance, but angry at her. They pour out their anger upon her, and your mother heart hurts for her.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, would have understood how you feel. She, too, watched her precious firstborn grow up to become the darling of multitudes. Certainly, there were a few people who hated Him, and she herself didn’t always understand what He was doing. But everyone else loved Him and sang His praises.

In fact, as He entered the city of Jerusalem a week before Passover, they were literally singing. Not only that, they were also throwing their garments on the road in front of Him and waving palm branches, shouting His praises.

Yet a week later, they had turned on Him, demanding His blood.

Why?

Most of the Pharisees and other religious leaders never liked Him, so it’s no surprise that they wanted Him dead. But why would a crowd who loved Him a week ago turn on Him and shout, “Crucify! Crucify!”?

One reason was because they were angry. By doing all the miracles He had done, and by putting the oppressive religious leaders to shame with His perfect answers, Jesus had gotten the crowd’s hopes up. Surely this was the Messiah. Who could do more amazing things than Jesus had done? He must be the one!

But then, the people saw Him arrested and beaten, and not fighting back. Wait a minute; what kind of Messiah was this? He must be a false prophet after all. Bitterly disappointed, the crowd became angry and vengeful.

We know what happened next. The sinless Son of God, Jesus Christ, allowed humanity to put Him to death as part of God’s perfect plan for the redemption of our souls. He took the punishment we deserved because of our sins but never could have borne, so that we wouldn’t have to. Why? To bring glory to God the Father by reconciling us to Him, if we will repent of our sins, accept His sacrifice on our behalf, and acknowledge His lordship.

But that’s not what the people were hoping for. They wanted liberation from Rome, not liberation from sin. And Jesus hadn’t met their expectations.

Precious mom, what do you and I do when our children don’t live up to what we expect of them?

Far too often, we sin. We get angry. We yell, or use sarcasm, or worse. We don’t crucify their bodies, but we wound their little spirits.

We get disappointed, and we take it out on them.

Clearly, there are times we have to discipline our children. But do we do it in a redemptive way? Or do we punish them, not for their sin, but for disappointing us?

Other times, we punish them when they haven’t even sinned. Whether Johnny doesn’t have an athletic bone in his body, or Suzie doesn’t want to dress “frilly” like other little girls, we show our disappointment in our words (or lack of words), our tone of voice, or our body language.

I wish I could say that I always discipline rightly, but I can’t. Perhaps you can’t either. Our hearts should grieve over our sin.

Oh, God, help us. Forgive us for wounding our children’s precious souls. Grant us wisdom, that we may know when and how to discipline, and self-control, that we might always discipline for our children’s benefit and with love. Help us rise and begin again to shepherd Your precious sheep with the same lovingkindness with which You shepherd us. May our homes be a place where it’s safe to be imperfect, and where unconditional love is shown all the time.

In Jesus’ name we pray.

Amen.

James 1:5— If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

1 Corinthians 16:14—Do everything in love.

So Bad

Megan Breedlove March 22, 2010 2 Comments

Discipline is hard. Wouldn’t you agree?

It may even be the hardest part of rearing children. There are the times when you wonder if what your child did is really an offense, and if it even merits correction. There are other times when the action definitely deserves discipline, but it’s hard to figure out exactly what the consequences should be. Then, there are the occasions when you know exactly what your child deserves, but it breaks your heart to have to enforce it.

Discipline is challenging for other reasons, too. We all know we’re supposed to be consistent, but sometimes it’s really hard to get up off the couch and apply consistency when you’re exhausted from lack of sleep the night before. Or when you’ve tried to be consistent with your discipline, and it looks like you’re not making any progress, and then your child does the same thing you’ve told him not to do a thousand times already—do you apply the same consequence for the thousand-and-first time, hoping it works this time, or do you try something else?

When your child’s behavior is so bad, what do you do?

Two years ago, a friend of mine was struggling with a behavior of her daughter’s that was particularly difficult. My friend had tried everything she could think of. She was praying, she was disciplining consistently, she was seeking advice from others—and still, her daughter kept behaving the same way. My friend was exhausted and discouraged.

There may be times when a situation is so serious that more extreme measures have to be taken to protect the welfare of the family. But this was not one of those times. This was the kind of situation we’ve all found ourselves in, where we’re just plain exhausted. Where we begin to consider whether the battle is really worth it. Where we feel like giving up the fight.

I’m so glad God never gives up the fight where one of His children is concerned.

We’ve all sinned against Him far more often and more seriously than our children have sinned against us, yet God never washes His hands of us.

Yes, He may allow us to experience the consequences of our actions—which may include distance from Him—in order to get our attention and bring us to our senses. But He never walks away from us. He never decides that we’re so much trouble He’s not willing to deal with our problems anymore.

Praise Him that this is the truth! Because of His infinite love, mercy, and faithfulness, He sticks with us until the end, and not from a far distance, either, but still desiring to be intimately involved.

He still keeps trying, even when we continue to frustrate His efforts.

The next time we find ourselves running short on patience with our children, let’s take just a minute to remember that our children aren’t the only ones who frustrate their parents. We’ve frustrated our Parent, too.

Let’s confess our sins to God, and let’s cooperate with His parenting instead of resisting Him.

Then, let’s ask Him to help us show our children the same patience He has shown to us: a loving, redemptive patience that leads us into closer relationship with Him.

In our so doing, may He be glorified.

Joshua 1:5—As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

John 13:35—By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.