October 2010

Anything Else?

Our church recently held its annual fall campout, and this year, for the first time, our family was able to go. Our kids were all finally old enough that we thought camping with the whole family sounded like a good idea, so we packed up and headed out to a state park a couple hours away.

We all had a great time. Too soon (yes, seriously) it was time to come home. We lugged everything into the house, and I began the task of unpacking and getting the kids to help me. I put a load of stuff that belonged to the girls into their room and told them to start putting it away while I took care of something else. A few minutes later, I saw Lindsey bounding by on one of those large rubber balls with a handle, where you sit on it and bounce along. “Lindsey,” I said, “you need to clean up. I told you girls that already.”

“Oh,” Lindsey said innocently. “I thought you just meant Ellie and Jessica.”

Oh, no, she didn’t. She knew what the spirit of the law was. But because I hadn’t specifically named each girl, she saw a way to claim that she believed the letter of the law didn’t apply to her.

Sounds kind of like what we adults do, doesn’t it? Oh, we might not go as far as Lindsey did, and claim God’s law doesn’t apply to us, but we often give ourselves far more grace than we give others in determining what level of compliance is necessary in order to meet His standards. We may not say, “God’s law doesn’t apply to me; I don’t have to be loving.” But we might very well say, “Yes, God’s law applies to me, and I’m doing a fine job of fulfilling it.”

We act as if God’s law says “be more loving”, and then we figure that applies to other people who really need it, not to us who are already doing a good job. Or we proceed as if it says “be more patient”, and assume that also applies only to others who aren’t doing as well as we are.

But in reality, God’s law doesn’t say, “be more loving.” It says, “be perfectly loving (or patient, or kind, etc.),” and we fall far short of perfection. We are not “good enough”. There was only one “good enough” Person Who ever walked this earth, and that was Jesus Christ. He was the only One Who perfectly fulfilled God’s law. The rest of us fall woefully short.

I’ve often heard the phrase “we’re not under law; we’re under grace”. That’s true. But it doesn’t mean that God’s standards are any less. Yes, if we’ve acknowledged Christ as the Lord of our lives and asked Him to forgive us of our sins, His perfect sacrifice stands in our stead. He took our punishment so we wouldn’t have to. But His standards are still the same. He doesn’t say, “Now that you’re a Christian, it’s okay for you to be less than loving, because you’re under grace.” Quite the contrary. In fact, the Bible declares that people will know we are Christians by the love we have for one another.

God’s moral law still applies. And it still applies to us.

We would do far better to spend our time asking God to reveal the sin in our lives and repenting of it than to spend it deciding where other people have messed up and what they should do about it. I don’t mean that we should never confront others’ sin. There is a time, a place, and a way for that. But I do mean that confronting sin should start with that which we find in our own lives.

Search me, O God, and know my heart. Help me to know it, too, and to spend more time searching it than searching the hearts of others. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

Matthew 7:3-5—Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Cute Birdies

Grackle
A grackle

Yesterday, the three older kids and I were running around town doing errands. Which parking lot we were in at the time this story took place, I don’t remember. But I’ll always remember the lesson I learned there.

As we all exited the van and I counted heads to make sure everybody had gotten out, I heard Kenny say, “Mom, look!” I followed his pointing finger and saw three birds hopping on the ground. All three had dull, blackish/brownish feathers and small, beady black eyes. “Cute birdies!” Kenny exclaimed.

Cute birdies? I thought. They’re ugly.

Then came the unforgettable lesson, a sentence that burned in my heart. We do the same thing to people sometimes.

We usually don’t do it consciously. But we’ve all judged a person after just a brief glimpse. We’ve made character and attitude assumptions and judged the person’s actions based on information from a snapshot taken at one fleeting moment in time. We’ve dismissed people with a roll of our eyes, or simply overlooked people, for any of far too many reasons.

It doesn’t matter all that much when we look at birds and think they’re ugly. But it matters a lot when we look at people and dismiss them as nothing special.

Our Lord Jesus never treated people as anything less than a marvelous creation of God. Sure, sometimes He became righteously angry at them, but He never acted as if they were beneath His notice, or not worth His time. We ought to treat people the same way He did because we want to be like Him.

But there’s another important reason we should follow His lead in our actions and attitudes toward our fellow human beings: Jesus said that whatever we do to “one of the least of these”, we do to Him. In other words, dismissing someone else as “nothing much” means dismissing Him as “nothing much”. We would never say that to His face, but we say it to His creations all the time. Maybe those words never come out of our mouths, but our actions show them to be true. And Jesus, Who sees inside our heart, knows what we are thinking.

Kenny looked at the birds and saw marvelous, cute, energetic creations of God. I wonder why I didn’t see them that way, too. After all, I’m the adult. I’m the one who’s supposed to know better. I’m pretty sure I know which one of us delighted God’s heart.

May we never look at our fellow human beings in the same way I looked at those birds—as undesirable and nothing special. May we learn to judge the worth of each person based on his or her Creator, instead of on any inadequacies we might perceive. After all, “they” shall know us by our love. Based on the level of our love for others, what would “they” know us to be?

Luke 6:45—The good [woman] brings good things out of the good stored up in [her] heart, and the evil [woman] brings evil things out of the evil stored up in [her] heart. For out of the overflow of [her] heart [her] mouth speaks.

Let Me See

A couple days ago, the kids and I piled into the van and headed out for a morning of consignment sale shopping in a neighboring city. As we drove from the first sale to the second, we passed an ice cream shop we don’t have near our house, and I remembered that I had four coupons for free kid’s sundaes from that shop still in my purse since I had received them a year or two ago.

We stopped at the shop, and I drove through the drive-thru and ordered the four free sundaes. The lady who eventually handed them to me at the window seemed less than thrilled to give away four free items at the same time, but I thanked her politely and drove on.

Because I was feeling particularly generous that day, I let the kids eat their sundaes in the van as we drove to the second sale. A few minutes after she began eating, Jessica paused and said, “I’m thirsty.”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t bring any drinks,” I said.

“But I’m thirsty,” she repeated for emphasis.

“Sweetie, I don’t have anything to give you,” I said.

“Let me see,” she insisted.

“I can’t show you what I don’t have,” I said.

On one hand, the incident was amusing. After all, Jessica just wanted to verify for herself that there were, indeed, no drinks present. On the other hand, it was offensive. She didn’t trust my assessment of the situation.

God gets offended, too, when we refuse to trust what He says. Sometimes when He proclaims truth, we decide we’re not going to believe Him unless we can verify the facts for ourselves. When we do that, we’re telling Him that His judgment isn’t worthy of being relied upon—that we’ll trust our own judgment before we’ll trust His. Other times, we simply contradict God. He proclaims truth, and we tell Him He’s wrong because we see things differently. When we do that, we’re telling Him that He’s either a liar or sadly mistaken.

I wonder how much our lives would change if we began acting like the things God says really are true and accurate. For example, when God says we should consider trials pure joy because they produce so many excellent character qualities in us, what difference would it make if we actually started acting like we are joyful that our character is being refined instead of resentful about the trials? Or when God tells us that we should forgive, how much healing might we find if we actually forgave instead of refusing to do so because the person doesn’t deserve it? Or when we read God’s admonition to honor our husbands, what if we actually started to do so, instead of making excuses?

I know there are times when it’s hard to live as if God’s truth is really true. But to do anything less dishonors God. Refusing to let His truth permeate every area of our lives and bring all those areas into conformity with His will is the same thing as telling Him that He’s not worthy of being believed, respected, or trusted in those areas.

Moms, we need to repent of the shamefully arrogant attitude that says that we’re more qualified than God to assess anything. Compared to Him, we know nothing, and it’s well past time for us to stop setting ourselves up as the experts. Let’s determine that we’ll honor God no matter what, and accept His every assessment as our own. After all, He’s always right. So how in the world could it profit us to act as if He isn’t?

Psalm 19:7—The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.

No Whiny Voice

You know how sometimes, you do something for your kids you think they’ll appreciate, only to find out later that it was a waste of money?

Such was the case last week when I let the kids talk me into buying applesauce already flavored with cinnamon. It wasn’t any more expensive than the regular stuff, and the kids always put cinnamon in their applesauce anyway, so I was more than willing to earn brownie points with them by fulfilling their request.

Two-year-old Jessica, however, was not impressed. When I served applesauce one evening as a complement to our meal, she said she wanted cinnamon in hers. “There’s already cinnamon in it,” I said. “That’s why it’s brown.”

Jessica peered suspiciously at the bowl. “But I want to put cinnamon in it,” she whined.

“You mean you want some regular applesauce so you can add cinnamon to it yourself?” I clarified.

“Yeahhhh,” she pouted.

“Maybe if you asked me nicely, I would help you,” I said.

“Please?” she said politely.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be glad to help you now. But when you use your whiny voice, that makes me not want to help you.”

“Yeah,” Jessica said loudly. “And God don’t like a whiny voice!”

Isn’t that the truth? God don’t like a whiny voice. In fact, He tells us pretty clearly in Scripture through the Apostle Paul’s writings that we are to do everything without complaining or arguing. I’m pretty sure whining would fit into that category of prohibited ways to do things.

But most of us whine. A lot. Maybe not every day (though maybe so!), but far too often. We ignore the flat-out prohibition in that verse and figure that if we don’t complain too often, that ought to be good enough.

But God says it isn’t. His standard is no complaining. Period.

Believe me, I know it’s hard not to complain sometimes. Bad things, or even just plain irritating things, happen, and it’s tempting to complain. After all, what are we supposed to do, keep our feelings inside? Don’t we have a right to talk about how we feel?

The answers might surprise you. No, we’re not supposed to just bottle up our feelings. And yes, we have a right to talk about how we feel. But there are right ways and wrong ways to do those things, and complaining is a wrong way. When expressing ourselves won’t build anybody up and won’t help the situation, we should keep silent. But we can—and should—take those feelings to God. He will help us deal with them and know what to do next. Even when our emotions are unrighteous—bitterness and malice, for example—God invites us to bring them before Him. The Bible tells us that He desires truth in our inward parts, and that there, He will teach us wisdom.

Is complaining to God okay, then? Well…no. Complaining isn’t okay, period. Complaining is like saying what God’s allowed into our life isn’t acceptable to us. I know some circumstances are annoying, difficult, or even tragic. We’re not commanded to love those circumstances, but we are commanded not to complain. That’s because when we complain, we’re rebelling against what His will for our life is (whether it’s something He’s caused, or something He’s allowed), and when we’re doing that, we’re not in right relationship with Him. We need to learn to see our circumstances as God sees them—tools for shaping us into the person He wants us to be.

How does that work? I don’t entirely know. I only know that when I’m honest before God about my desire to complain, He changes my heart. He may not make my circumstances go away, but He always changes my ability to deal with them.

The next time we’re tempted to complain, let’s take our emotions to God and ask Him to renew our heart and our perspective. Let’s beseech Him for His grace in dealing with our circumstances. And let’s resist the temptation to complain. Complaining seems to offer a satisfying way to deal with our stress, but it doesn’t. True relief comes from God alone. Following His ways in dealing with life will bring far superior and far longer-lasting relief than complaining ever will.

Philippians 2:14—“Do everything without complaining or arguing.”

Isaiah 1:18—”Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”