Manna For Moms

Devotions for Moms Like You!

August 2011

Coming Alongside

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Last week, I wrote about our most recent visit to Chuck E. Cheese and about how someone stole Kenny’s tokens, despite the safety precautions he took. I shared Kenny’s grief with you, and I reminded all of us that there are times we simply can’t blame ourselves for what happened to us—times God doesn’t blame us, either.

This week, I want us to look more closely at something I didn’t even mention last week, because it deserved a whole week by itself. It’s a simple yet profound lesson. If we can fully grasp it and put it into practice, we will display both the character of God and the character He desires from His Church. And that, my friends, is what we were made to do. So let’s look right now at the role three-year-old Jessica played in what happened at Chuck E.’s.

When Kenny walked up to me crying over the theft of his tickets and tokens, and I began to assess what I could do to comfort him, Jessica had something to tell me. “Mommy, I gave him some of my tickets,” she said solemnly.

“Sweetie, that’s really nice of you,” I said.

“I don’t mind,” she said matter-of-factly.

That, right there, is the lesson. Jessica saw her brother in pain, and she comforted him the best she could: by giving him some of her tickets to make up for what he’d lost. She saw him hurting, so she gave, even at cost to herself. And she didn’t mind.

That’s what coming alongside someone is all about. It’s seeing someone in pain and doing our best to comfort her. Period. It’s as simple as that. Yet too often, we decide the cost of coming alongside someone is too great, so we do nothing. Or we assume someone else is going to do something, so we do nothing. Or maybe we’re just selfish, so we do nothing.

I’m not suggesting that each of us is supposed to meet every need we’re aware of. That’s just not possible. But we’ve all been in a situation when God prompts our hearts to give. “Come alongside that person,” He says. “Give.” When He says that, we have a choice. Will we obey?

Giving isn’t always going to involve money. It won’t even always involve material things. But it will often involve something that’s even more precious to us—our time. When the Spirit prompts us, will we be willing to sacrifice our time to come alongside someone? Will we give of our emotions in order to support someone?

God certainly did. He gave His Son Jesus, and in so doing, He gave Himself. Then, when Jesus returned to heaven, the Father gave His Spirit. He is no disinterested God who sits in heaven watching us crawl around down here like little ants. No, He is a loving Father who sees us hurting and gives of Himself to make us feel better.

I pray that God makes us discerning, so that we will know when it’s His will for us to step into a situation. I pray that when it is His will, that He’ll make us obedient. May we always be willing to minister whenever God gives the word, no matter what it might cost us. And in so doing, may we show a watching world the kind of relationship God wants to have with them—coming into their lives not to condemn, but that they might be saved, and loved, and encouraged through Him.

Luke 10:33-34—But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

Stolen

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

A few days ago, my husband and I took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. We had some coupons and some free time, and we figured, Why not? Of course, when we told the kids, all four mouths dropped open, and for a moment, there was no sound, as if the air had been sucked from the room. Then…”Yay!” they screeched repeatedly, dancing around in joy.

We got there, staked out a table, and waited for out pizza to arrive. That is, I waited. The kids went off to play games, with Phil helping Jessica. I reminded Kenny to keep close track of his cup of game tokens, since the last time we were there, he had set his down and forgotten where he put it. And then, of course, it got stolen.

After supper, we all went back to playing games. Phil and I circulated among the kids, making sure everyone was having a good time and finding games at his or her level. Then I heard it. Kenny was crying.

I turned and saw Phil and Kenny walking towards me. Kenny’s eyes were red, and tears streamed from them and wet his cheeks. He tried to explain to me what happened, but I couldn’t understand him. Phil told me that Kenny had been playing Skeeball and set his cup down by his feet while he played. When he finished his game and tried to pick up his cup…it was gone, along with the couple remaining tokens and all his tickets. “Some kid stole it,” Phil said.

“Mommy, I’m sorry,” Kenny cried, grief flowing from his eyes.

“Oh, son,” I said, stooping down beside him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. How many tickets did you have?”

“Forty-nine,” he said. His little shoulders shook as he tried to gain control of his tears.

“Then here’s what we’ll do,” I said. “I’ll give you two quarters. That will be good for fifty tickets. That will make up for what you lost. I’m so sorry.”

Ultimately, Kenny was able to choose some prizes he really wanted, and he was happy. But my heart still hurts for him. He was doing the best he could to take care of his tickets, and they got stolen from him. Some other greedy kid, who didn’t care at all about my son, his feelings, or doing the right thing, stole my son’s tickets and wounded his heart.

What hurts me the most in remembering this incident are two things. First, remembering Kenny’s big, brown eyes filled with tears, and seeing his precious face so sad. Somebody hurt my beloved son, and in that moment, I was ready to track that child down and take care of business. If I had known what the child looked like, I surely would have done so.

I wonder how it feels for God, who has the power to avenge any offenses against me, to have to hold back His hand sometimes. If I had been able to, I would have done something about the offense committed against my son. There’s no way in the world I would have let it go. Standing by and allowing my son to suffer when it was in my power to do something about it would have just about killed me. I wonder, then, how God feels when it is in His power to do something, and He has to restrain Himself in accordance with His greater purposes? I wonder how He feels when His greater purposes call for allowing us to suffer rather than making everything right right now.

The second thing that hurts my heart is the fact that Kenny apologized to me. He was afraid he might have done something wrong in “allowing” his tokens and tickets to be stolen. He had been as careful as he could be. His actions were reasonable. Yet he was afraid that somehow, it was his fault, and he thought he better apologize in case I thought he had done something wrong.

Likewise, we are often afraid that somehow what happened to us is our fault. Even when it doesn’t involve any sin on our part, and even when we were being careful, we’re afraid that we did something wrong in failing to prevent it from happening.

Precious mom, there are some things that simply cannot be prevented. Just because something happens to us doesn’t necessarily mean it was our fault somehow. And it sure doesn’t mean God is going to be mad at us for not preventing it. Sometimes, tragedy happens. Sometimes, we’re victims. Sometimes, there was no way to foresee or prevent what happened—at least not by employing ordinary standards of care. There was no good reason for Kenny to feel that he should have prevented what happened, and I told him so. “It wasn’t your fault,” I said. “You were being careful, just like I told you. It wasn’t your fault someone decided to sin and take your cup. And you can be sure that God sees what happened. He knows it wasn’t your fault, and He knows whose fault it was. And He’s not happy this happened to you, either.”

My words seemed to help Kenny somewhat. Gradually, the tears went away, and a smile returned to his face. By the time we got into the van to go home, he was happily playing with his new toys and candy.

But the lessons remain with me: that sometimes, what happens to me is not my fault. And that when someone sins against me, God is not pleased. He’s not going to blame me for someone else’s sin; that person will indeed answer for it one day. Instead, He’ll hug me and tell me He’s sad with me about what happened. And in the moment of my grief, that’s what I want to here: that He’s there, and He cares.

There’s one more lesson I learned from this incident, however, and it, too, is important. This week was about God’s response when tragedy strikes; next week will be about the response we should show others when they’re hurt. I’ll see you next week for a precious lesson in coming alongside others when they’re in pain.

Matthew 25:40—”The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

Servants

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

One of our kids’ chores is to fold their own laundry. My husband (who usually does the laundry) takes their clothes to their room and tells them to sort and fold. One particular day, he delivered the girls’ clothes to their room and told them to get started. All three girls set to work.

As he was leaving the room, he heard Lindsey say thoughtfully to Ellie, “Boy, it’s like we’re servants or something.”

Exactly. They are indeed servants. That’s what we’re trying to train them to be, because God’s instructions for the home are that we all serve each other. We are a team, and we should each do our part to make the household work. Even Jesus Himself came not to be served but to serve.

So being a servant is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s often a really good thing. The only problem is…it’s not always fun.

As moms, we’re well aware that one of the primary focuses of our life is to serve our family. Sometimes, serving is easy—like the other day when my kids tasted the meal I set in front of them and said, “Wow! I give this stuff an A+!” Other times, it’s difficult—like last night when one of my children woke me from a deep sleep to say, “Mommy, I had an accident in my bed.”

My attitude toward serving my family tends to vary according to the circumstances. Yours probably does, too. Sure, we’d always acknowledge that being a servant is important, and maybe even that it’s a good idea, or even a high calling. But what do we do when service doesn’t feel like much except drudgery or being unappreciated?

During those times, we can—and should!—remind ourselves that ultimately, we are not serving our family, but the Lord. He is the One who takes our service personally (see Matthew 25:40). But an interesting point arises in that, in the original Greek, the word usually translated “servant” is more properly rendered “slave”. We are Christ’s slaves.

What does it mean to be a slave of Christ? It means that we serve completely at the Master’s pleasure. It means we’re obligated to continue in service and can’t just walk away at any time we might choose. It means our purpose in life is to carry out His wishes and His will, and to advance His interests upon this earth. It means we don’t get to grumble and complain when the service is not to our liking.

Those are the obligations. But being Christ’s slave also comes with incredible benefits. First, it means we belong totally to Him. We belong! We never have to feel unwanted or unloved, because Christ paid an incredible price to buy us. Second, we are set apart to Him and free from the dictates of any other master. Even the one who wants to master us and ruin our lives (Satan) can’t do it, because we’re not his anymore. We’re now owned by God, and not subject to anyone else’s control. Third, we have a purpose in life. Yes, our purpose is to carry out the wishes of another, but don’t miss the incredible point that in carrying out His wishes, we are also doing what’s best for ourselves. Our purpose now is not to serve the one who wants to destroy us, but to spend our lives glorifying our new Master and thus filling our lives with incredible joy.

So yes, there are obligations. Yes, there are times when the Master will call upon us for service and we won’t want to do what He requires. But maybe it would encourage our spirit be more willing if we remembered that anything He asks us to do will also benefit us. What a gracious and benevolent Master we serve! He bought us from a life that would surely have destroyed us in order to give us a life that will never end. Eternal life. Eternal joy.

Sounds like a pretty good return for a mere few years of service, doesn’t it?

John 10:10—“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

1 Corinthians 7:22—For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave.

Stop Provoking

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Okay, I admit it: my kids…sometimes…provoke each other. Generally speaking, they get along well, but there are those times when they pester their siblings, either accidentally or on purpose. When it’s an accident, all it requires from me is that I point out to the offender how the other person doesn’t appreciate what the offender is doing. It’s relatively easy to deal with. But when it’s on purpose? Well, that can be a little more tricky to deal with (as in, to help defuse the situation before the offended party strikes back).

Yes, children should refrain from shouting at or pushing their siblings. But it’s a lot harder for them to do the right thing when they’ve been provoked.

It makes sense. After all, it’s hard for me to do the right thing when I’ve been provoked, and I’m an adult. No wonder it’s hard for children.

That’s why God gave parents a very important and specific command: “[Parents], do not provoke your children to anger.” He knows it’s a lot harder for anyone, much less a little child, to obey when someone provokes them. He wants us to do everything we can to help our kids obey, not to make it harder on them.

What are some of the ways we make it harder on our kids to do the right thing? One way is by not making it clear what the “right thing” is. Kids don’t have a lot of life experience, and that means they don’t understand everything they’re supposed to do. When we fail to explain to them how they can learn to be the right kind of person at this particular stage in their lives, we set them up for doing the wrong thing.

Another way we provoke our children is by requiring that they succeed at something that is beyond their developmental level. Telling a two-year-old to clean her room and then getting mad when she doesn’t do a very good job is not only silly, but also hurtful and frustrating to our child. When we consistently frustrate our children in their efforts at obedience, we make it much harder for them to obey with a willing spirit.

Perhaps the most hurtful way we provoke our children is by wounding their little spirits. Harsh or even cruel treatment, unfairness, unkind words, insults, demanding “What’s wrong with you??”—all of these things wound our child’s soul. It’s hard to honor someone who consistently wounds you, and when our attitudes, words, and actions provoke our child to anger, we make it difficult, if not almost impossible, for our child to fulfill his or her second-greatest responsibility (honoring God is the first).

God knows that our children need our help in order to obey. He knows we need to be by turns gentle and firm, but always loving. So He commanded us to avoid being the kind of parent who will make it difficult for a child. Instead, we should be the kind of mom who makes it easy on her kids. Not by letting our children do whatever they want, but by being the kind of parent God is.

You see, God makes it as easy as possible for us to obey. He tells us clearly what is expected of us. He never expects more than He knows we are capable of doing. And He is never harsh and unloving with us. Instead, He pours out His love upon us every second of every day, even if we don’t always see it. Who could be easier to obey than a God like that?

Think about it, mom. Do you make it easy for your children to obey you? Do you make your expectations clear and developmentally appropriate? Do you then treat them with love, even when they mess up? Do you pour your love out upon them each and every day? Precious mom, no earthly person is easier to obey than a mom like that.

Yes, our children will still disobey sometimes, no matter how well we may parent. They’re sinners, just like we are. But we can make obedience a whole lot more likely—and much more pleasant for them to engage in—if we don’t provoke them, but instead show them guidance and treat them with understanding and love.

Ephesians 6:4 (CJB)—Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance.

Is God Real?

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Sometimes young children can come up with the most profound questions about God. For example, the other day, my husband was in the kitchen when five-year-old Lindsey came into the room. “Daddy, Jessica says God isn’t real,” she said.

“Yes, He’s real,” Phil said.

Lindsey turned and ran back into the living room. A few seconds later, Jessica came into the kitchen. “Daddy, is God weal?” she asked.

Fortunately, my husband realized what Jessica was really asking. She knew that God was real—we’ve taught her that—but she wanted to know how that can be the case when you can’t see or touch Him.

Phil pulled a quarter out of his pocket. “Is this quarter real?” he asked her.

She nodded. “How do you know?” he asked.

“Because it’s gway,” she said.

“Can you see it?” he asked.

Again she nodded. This time, Phil folded his hand closed around the quarter. “Now can you see it?”

“No,” she said.

“But is it still real?”

“Yeah,” she said, grinning as if to say that the question was silly.

My husband went on to make the point that just because we can’t see or touch God doesn’t mean He’s not real. I love the illustration he used. In fact, I bet God loved it too. Why? Because it’s the same illustration He used in teaching us about Himself.

God was real long before we became aware of Him (just as the quarter was real before Jessica knew about it). But God knew we needed to see Him. So He sent His Son Jesus. And in seeing Jesus, we saw the Father. But then, He went away for a little while (after His ascension), and we could no longer see Him. In fact, He told His disciples repeatedly that this was exactly what was going to happen—that they would see Him for a little while, but then no longer. Now, He sits at the right hand of the Father, until such time as the Father will send Him to earth to claim those who are His.

Is He still real, even now that we can’t see Him and touch Him? Of course He is. His reality is not determined by our limited, human sight.

But one day, our faith will become sight. One day, the Father will command the Son, “Go!” And the heavens will open, and Jesus will descend, just as He promised. Oh, make no mistake about it. He’s real. On that day, what we now know by faith, we will then know by sight. The Father will open His hand, and we’ll see Jesus. And we’ll know He was there all along.

1 Corinthians 13:12—For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

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