2011

Running with Baby

At three-and-a-half years old, Jessica (whom we call “Baby”) is delighted with her body’s increasing abilities. She loves performing tricks for me, which usually involve some feat of balance or stretching. She’s also becoming a fast runner, losing that cute, toddler run that really young kids have (where they half bounce, half run).

The other day, the kids and I were leaving for somewhere, and I told Jessica to go get in the van. She ran toward it, obviously enjoying her newfound speed. The only problem was that Lindsey saw Jessica begin to run, which of course turned the whole thing into a race. Lindsey started running too, and because she’s two years older than Jessica, she passed Jessica up and made it to the van first.

What caught my attention was what happened when Lindsey passed Jessica. Jessica glanced up, saw Lindsey, and stopped running. Her little head drooped, and she walked the rest of the way to the van with her head down.

Two applications came to mind, and I want to share them both with you. First, I’ll share the more obvious one. I had planned to write this devotional about how we as Christians often leave weaker or less-experienced brothers and sisters behind, turning the Christian walk into a Christian race. We run on ahead of them, oblivious to the pain we cause them.

We should be conscious of our brothers and sisters along the way. The whole point of the Christian walk is the journey, not who can “win”. Sometimes, we’ll be the weaker sister, and sometimes we’ll be the stronger. But it doesn’t really matter, because we’re all on the same team and should all be working together.

It’s a good application, and it’s something we need to think about. But it’s the second, less-obvious application that I’m supposed to dwell on this week. That application is this: Jesus never leaves us behind in our journey toward the goal. He is infinitely more holy, powerful, and knowledgeable than we are, yet He travels with us instead of leaving us in His dust. He doesn’t drag us behind Him because we are too slow. Instead, He shows patience with us as we walk, so that one day, we will reach the journey’s end together.

What Lindsey did was perfectly natural. She wasn’t trying to make Jessica feel bad. She simply saw Jessica enjoying herself and decided to have the same kind of fun by pushing her own body to go faster. But how much different would it have been if she had extended a hand to Jessica and said, “Let’s run together!” Jessica’s joy would have been greater, and so would Lindsey’s.

Likewise, our joy increases when Jesus takes our hand and runs with us. What’s even more amazing is that His does too. He loves being together with us. We love being with Him (unless there’s something wrong). And when two people who delight in each other’s presence spend time together, the joy of both increases.

So next time you’re going somewhere, remember that Jesus is going with you. You can’t outrun Him, and He won’t outrun you. You’re in this together.

Psalm 89:15—Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, O LORD.

Contented

As I sit here writing, my children are all with my husband in the front part of the house. He has promised to keep them up there so I can have time to write. Not only that, but he’s making dinner. I can hear everyone talking, and for the moment, at least, their voices are peaceful. I’m at home, with the people I love most in all the world, and everyone’s getting along. I am content.

At the same time that this is true, it’s also true that my desk is a mess. There are piles of papers and other objects all over it (including, interestingly enough, one yellow rubber glove, a packet of cat treats, a set of cards for Lindsey’s Hooked on Phonics curriculum, and a cotton-ball-and-paper-plate sheep that she made last year in preschool. Behind me, the playroom is a mess. Yet I am content.

You see, we can choose which set of circumstances to focus on. We can dwell on all the things that are wrong, or we can look at the many things that are going right. At any given moment in our lives, some things will be going other than the way we would wish, and others will be going just as we want them to. Our contentment depends on which set of circumstances we base our feelings on.

True, there are some circumstances that could pretty easily destroy contentment for almost anyone. Tragic things happen in the world, and there’s no guarantee that none of them will ever happen to us. But for the most part—the great majority of the time—we can choose to be contented or not, depending on what we concentrate on.

Does that mean we just sweep everything negative under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen or doesn’t bother us? No. It means that sometimes, we simply choose not to think about something if thinking about it won’t help. When there’s an issue that needs to be dealt with, fine. Let’s think about it so that we can determine the right response. But when thinking about something results only in bitterness or discontentment, and there’s nothing to do about it anyway, let it go. Just let it go. Why allow it to take up anymore of your mental and emotional energy and rob you of contentment?

I could sit here and complain about the house being a mess. I could gripe about how I’m tired of having to tell the children over and over to clean up. But would that help? No. And not only would it be distinctly unhelpful, but it might cause me to miss the delightful sounds of their happy voices as they play together and interact with their daddy.

This is part of training our minds to think the way God wants us to think. We need to make it a habit to concentrate on the good things instead of the bad. We need to spend more time contemplating the blessings He’s given us than grumbling about the tiny little bumps in our smooth road.

I know that I don’t like to hear my kids complain. I’d rather hear about all the good things that happened during their day, or all the things they liked. I bet God feels the same way. I bet He’d much rather hear me thank Him for His blessings and then enjoy them than sit here with a sour attitude simply because everything’s not what I consider perfect.

How are you doing in this area? Which—the good or the bad—do you spend more time focusing on? Find something right now that’s going right, then stop and thank God for it. And watch what happens to your contentment when you do.

Philippians 4:8—Finally, [sisters], whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Play with Me

Jessica SwingingAt three-and-a-half years old, Jessica is such a little person. I mean, she is absolutely full of personality (which, fortunately, is usually delightful). She loves to smile, and when she laughs, her laughter makes others want to join in with her. Yesterday, as she escaped giggling from my tickling clutches and darted a short distance away, I watched her go. And I thought, Wow, her legs look really long in those shorts. She looks…tall!

For a moment, instead of a toddler, I saw a little girl, and I realized she’s growing up.

I’m glad for her. I want her to develop as she should. But I hope that she doesn’t grow out of wanting to be with me for a long time.

Jessica has always been a mama’s girl. She loves being with me. Several times during the day, she will seek out my attention or ask me to play with her (“Will you pway wif me?”). Just this morning at church, she snuggled into my lap and closed her eyes.

I don’t want her to grow out of that anytime soon.

True, her clinginess gets burdensome sometimes. There are some days I’d rather she not need to be so close to me for most of the day. At times, I just wish she would leave me alone and play independently.

When it’s one of those times, and she’s needed more attention than I had energy or desire to give, I try to remind myself of this: God never gets tired of giving me attention.

Actually, I think God’s prepared to give me far more attention than I seek. He constantly loves me and continually thinks loving thoughts toward me. He’s never too busy or too tired for me to crawl up into His lap and close my eyes. He never gets annoyed when I want His attention because I’m bored or crabby, or simply because I want to be with Him. I’m the one who keeps our relationship at a distance.

Maybe you do, too. Maybe you know what it’s like to go through an entire day without thinking about God much, except when it’s time to thank Him for your food before eating lunch. But if that’s the only time you or I think about Him, we’re missing out.

You see, God is always available to listen to us, give us wisdom, or share happy moments with us. He’ll share the sad moments, too. He’ll even “play” and have fun with us. But we have to want to spend time with Him. Otherwise, we’re missing out on the best Friend in the whole universe. He’s right next to us—His Spirit is in us—and we ignore Him.

If you’re like me, you struggle to spend regular and consistent time with Him. But maybe it would help to remember that spending time with Him means not just checking off something on a chart, but staying in touch with our Best Friend. Imagine the best earthly friend you can think of, multiply it by about a billion, and that’s Him waiting for you to notice Him.

So why don’t we spend more time with Him? Sometimes, it’s because circumstances arise to prevent it. Other times, it’s because we don’t try very hard. But I believe that it’s usually because we don’t really appreciate what a great time we could have by spending time together.

Why not let God show you? Spend time with Him this week. Today, even. Ask Him to open your eyes to what a great Friend He is. Ask Him to help you get to know Him. Even if you’ve known Him most of your life, you can always know Him better. Ask Him to show you His beauty and desirability. And when He does, be prepared for your heart to respond in adoration. It’ll happen naturally. When you truly get a glimpse of God as He is, the only possible response is worship.

Psalm 27:4—One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.

No Thoughts

I have a confession to make. I love writing devotionals; I really do. But sometimes, when it comes time to write one, I sit down at the computer, and I think to myself, I have absolutely no thoughts today. I can’t think of a single thing to write. At those times, I ask God what He wants His people to hear. Then I write that.

Today was a little bit different. This time, even before I had a chance to say “Dear God”, God spoke to me. Even when you don’t have thoughts, He said (not in an audible voice, but in my spirit), I always have thoughts. I am always thinking about you.

Then, He brought Psalm 139:17 to mind. This verse appears only 3 verses after the verse that tells us we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It says, “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” Read the passage in context, and you will see that in this case, His thoughts are about us.

First, let’s look at the “how vast is the sum of them” part. Most of us don’t realize how much God thinks about us. We tend to assume that because we don’t always think about Him very often, He doesn’t think about us frequently, either. That assumption is wrong. The verse says that God’s thoughts toward us are vast in number. Vast. That’s more than 5. More than 100. More even than a million. Vast. An incomprehensible number.

Sure, we think, He thinks about me a lot when I’ve messed up. But those aren’t the kind of thoughts this passage is talking about. The Psalmist wrote this entire section because He was so overwhelmed at how much God loves us. He didn’t say, “God really loves us. He thinks irritated thoughts about us most of the time, but He really, really loves us.” No, God thinks so many loving thoughts toward us that we can’t even count them all. It’s such a big number the writer of the psalm didn’t even want to limit it by putting a number on it.

Now, let’s look at the first part of the verse. “How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!” Are they really? I think most of the time, they’re not. That’s because we don’t really get it. We don’t truly understand how God lovingly thinks of us all day long, every day. How He’s in love with us. If we really grasped that, His thoughts would, indeed, be very precious to us. After all, what could be better than to know that God thinks loving thoughts about us all day long, so many that we can’t even count them?

I have a specific reason for telling you the process I went through in writing this devotional. My reason is this: I want you to know that God was thinking of you in telling me what to write today. You. I didn’t have any thoughts of my own until He filled my mind with today’s theme. I believe this is His extra way of emphasizing to you how much He is, indeed, thinking about you. He thought about you and planned something specific for you to read today because He loves you.

So how do you respond when faced with a love like that? I suggest you spend some time with Him today, thinking about Him. He’s always thinking about you; it would be an awesome, loving response on your part for you to reciprocate out of love. How long should your time be? I don’t know, but I do know this: God is the Lover of your soul. Spend some time with the One who, as the song says, “knows you best and loves you most.”

Psalm 139:17—How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

Don’t Hit the Camel

Recently, we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese. This was a different visit from the one when Kenny got his tokens stolen. This visit wasn’t for dinner; we just took them so they could play all the games.

Lindsey is a fun kid to trail after as she chooses game after ride after game. Once when I was following her, she chose a game designed for little kids where the player has to steer an actual car along a wide, gentle track. The idea is to try to stay in the middle and not run over anything on the sides. Lindsey did pretty well for the most part, even though that game doesn’t have very responsive steering. But at one point on the track, where she was supposed to steer left, she kept failing to turn and running over the picture of the camel standing just to the right of the track in the grass.

It was kind of funny, actually. Every time she approached, I would say, in a funny voice, “Here comes the camel! Don’t run him over!” or something similar. Lindsey would giggle, do her best to steer to the left, and run over the camel anyway.

And the thought hit me, about the third time the camel met its demise: Someday, I’m going to hand this girl the keys to my car and turn her loose on streets full of unsuspecting citizens. Yes, this girl who can’t even stop running over the camel.

It was a kind of scary thought (though I hope—I pray!—Lindsey’s driving skills will have improved quite a bit by then). But then, I realized something even more mind-blowing: Jesus did the same thing, but in an even more important context.

When He ascended into heaven, Jesus entrusted the furtherance of His kingdom to His apostles and other followers. True, they would have the Holy Spirit, but even so, Jesus was depending on these guys who didn’t even understand what “rising from the dead” meant to spread His kingdom all over the world. He was entrusting the most precious thing on earth—the gospel message—to guys who only weeks before had run away so as not to be associated with Him and even denied Him.

He still does the same thing today. He still trusts imperfect people with the responsibility to spread the good news. And we, in our own power, are far less competent to make an impact for Him than Lindsey is to stop running over the camel. She, in her natural human abilities that God has granted her, will probably learn to drive a car quite well one day. We, in our merely human abilities, can do nothing of eternal value on our own. That’s right, nothing. Jesus Himself even said it: “Apart from Me, you can do nothing.” Yet He has chosen us to be His fellow-workers, and He has granted us the privilege of serving Him in spreading His glory throughout the world, starting right here in our own homes.

So what does all this mean? It means that apart from Him, we’re guaranteed to blow it. Maybe we’d still be decent moms by the world’s standards, but we’re going to blow the chance to be the kind of moms we could be. We need to live in serious dependence upon the Holy Spirit for His wisdom, help, and enabling, every second of every day.

Just as Lindsey will eventually need Driver’s Ed and lots of practice at somewhere other than Chuck E. Cheese, so we as moms need practice. We need training guided by the Holy Spirit. We need to ask Him each day to help us do the job He’s given us to and to make us the kind of moms we want to be.

Consulting Him doesn’t have to take long. It can be as brief as a minute. Each of us has at least a minute per day we can go before God and ask Him to correct us where we need it and build us up when we need that. Let’s do it. Otherwise, we’ll do “nothing”.

John 15:5—”I am the vine; you are the branches. If a [mom] remains in me and I in [her], [she] will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Gooooooooooal!

I can’t wait for the London 2012 Olympics to start. There’s nothing better than watching together with my children as athletes from more than 200 countries give it their all, competing against each other for the gold medal. There’s not much that makes me feel more patriotic than seeing an American athlete standing on the top step of the podium, wearing a gold medal, hand over his or her heart, listening to The Star-Spangled Banner being played for millions of people to hear. (And not much cuter than seeing my kids stand on the coffee table in the same posture, knowing by identification with the athletes that they’re winners, too.)

Olympic athletes all have a goal: to be the best. They spend years of their lives and thousands of hours (not to mention dollars) pouring themselves into their sport. Everything, from what they eat to when they sleep to how they fix their hair is designed to enhance their performance.

In other words, no one becomes an Olympic champion by accident. Each athlete knows what goal he or she is pursuing. No one stands atop the podium as a result of consistently trying to avoid training, and not a single person has a gold medal placed around his or her neck as a reward for hating sports and spending eight hours a day sitting in front of the TV.

If you want to become the Olympic champion—or the champion at anything else—you have to constantly, consistently hold that goal up in front of you and pursue it. Anything less won’t get you there.

Too bad more of us (myself included) don’t care much about being champions at serving others. We don’t even desire the goal. When we’re called to serve, we often resent it, unless somehow the service seems like fun. We certainly don’t spend hours a day practicing it. We’re usually willing to serve (albeit reluctantly) when service is thrust upon us, but we sure don’t hold up “being a good servant” as a goal in front of us constantly and consistently. We don’t want to be the Olympic champion of servers. We want to spend those eight hours a day on the couch watching TV. We want to eat what we want, sleep when we want, and do our hair how we want. We see no reason to discipline ourselves to reach a certain goal when the goal doesn’t really matter to us.

We see being a servant as an obligation to discharge, not a worthy goal to pursue. We’ll do it because Jesus said it, so we know we’re supposed to. But we don’t really want to.

What difference it would make in my life and yours if we were to decide that being a servant is a worthwhile goal and actually desire to pursue it? If we were to start each day by saying, Today, being a successful servant (one who has, in fact, served) is my goal?

I’m not suggesting that it is never appropriate to rest and relax. There are clear examples in the Bible of Jesus resting and instructing His disciples to do the same. But what was the purpose of His life? Was it to enjoy those times of resting? No. In His own words, His purpose was “not to be served, but to serve.”

Jesus dedicated His entire life to service and commanded us to do the same. He didn’t say, “Serve when you have to and hide your resentment that service interrupted you from other activities.” No, He said to do all things with an attitude of love. I’m pretty sure He meant a positive, willing attitude, as well.

Then He left it up to us to decide whether or not we’ll enter training for the life track He has laid out for us. Are we willing to devote ourselves to what He said should be our goal in life, pursuing that goal with everything that’s in us? Or will we resent the demands placed upon us in training for something we don’t care much about being good at?

I hope and pray for all of us that it’s the former. Because in terms of being a servant, we all have the ability to be the Olympic champion. In the arena of serving, millions of people reach the goal, because you get there not by defeating someone else, but by being fully obedient. One day, Jesus Himself can place the gold medal around our neck and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Will you and I stand on top of the podium to hear him say that, or will we be at home on the couch watching the ceremony on TV, because we never trained?

Mark 10:45—“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Coming Alongside

Last week, I wrote about our most recent visit to Chuck E. Cheese and about how someone stole Kenny’s tokens, despite the safety precautions he took. I shared Kenny’s grief with you, and I reminded all of us that there are times we simply can’t blame ourselves for what happened to us—times God doesn’t blame us, either.

This week, I want us to look more closely at something I didn’t even mention last week, because it deserved a whole week by itself. It’s a simple yet profound lesson. If we can fully grasp it and put it into practice, we will display both the character of God and the character He desires from His Church. And that, my friends, is what we were made to do. So let’s look right now at the role three-year-old Jessica played in what happened at Chuck E.’s.

When Kenny walked up to me crying over the theft of his tickets and tokens, and I began to assess what I could do to comfort him, Jessica had something to tell me. “Mommy, I gave him some of my tickets,” she said solemnly.

“Sweetie, that’s really nice of you,” I said.

“I don’t mind,” she said matter-of-factly.

That, right there, is the lesson. Jessica saw her brother in pain, and she comforted him the best she could: by giving him some of her tickets to make up for what he’d lost. She saw him hurting, so she gave, even at cost to herself. And she didn’t mind.

That’s what coming alongside someone is all about. It’s seeing someone in pain and doing our best to comfort her. Period. It’s as simple as that. Yet too often, we decide the cost of coming alongside someone is too great, so we do nothing. Or we assume someone else is going to do something, so we do nothing. Or maybe we’re just selfish, so we do nothing.

I’m not suggesting that each of us is supposed to meet every need we’re aware of. That’s just not possible. But we’ve all been in a situation when God prompts our hearts to give. “Come alongside that person,” He says. “Give.” When He says that, we have a choice. Will we obey?

Giving isn’t always going to involve money. It won’t even always involve material things. But it will often involve something that’s even more precious to us—our time. When the Spirit prompts us, will we be willing to sacrifice our time to come alongside someone? Will we give of our emotions in order to support someone?

God certainly did. He gave His Son Jesus, and in so doing, He gave Himself. Then, when Jesus returned to heaven, the Father gave His Spirit. He is no disinterested God who sits in heaven watching us crawl around down here like little ants. No, He is a loving Father who sees us hurting and gives of Himself to make us feel better.

I pray that God makes us discerning, so that we will know when it’s His will for us to step into a situation. I pray that when it is His will, that He’ll make us obedient. May we always be willing to minister whenever God gives the word, no matter what it might cost us. And in so doing, may we show a watching world the kind of relationship God wants to have with them—coming into their lives not to condemn, but that they might be saved, and loved, and encouraged through Him.

Luke 10:33-34—But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

Stolen

A few days ago, my husband and I took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. We had some coupons and some free time, and we figured, Why not? Of course, when we told the kids, all four mouths dropped open, and for a moment, there was no sound, as if the air had been sucked from the room. Then…”Yay!” they screeched repeatedly, dancing around in joy.

We got there, staked out a table, and waited for out pizza to arrive. That is, I waited. The kids went off to play games, with Phil helping Jessica. I reminded Kenny to keep close track of his cup of game tokens, since the last time we were there, he had set his down and forgotten where he put it. And then, of course, it got stolen.

After supper, we all went back to playing games. Phil and I circulated among the kids, making sure everyone was having a good time and finding games at his or her level. Then I heard it. Kenny was crying.

I turned and saw Phil and Kenny walking towards me. Kenny’s eyes were red, and tears streamed from them and wet his cheeks. He tried to explain to me what happened, but I couldn’t understand him. Phil told me that Kenny had been playing Skeeball and set his cup down by his feet while he played. When he finished his game and tried to pick up his cup…it was gone, along with the couple remaining tokens and all his tickets. “Some kid stole it,” Phil said.

“Mommy, I’m sorry,” Kenny cried, grief flowing from his eyes.

“Oh, son,” I said, stooping down beside him. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. How many tickets did you have?”

“Forty-nine,” he said. His little shoulders shook as he tried to gain control of his tears.

“Then here’s what we’ll do,” I said. “I’ll give you two quarters. That will be good for fifty tickets. That will make up for what you lost. I’m so sorry.”

Ultimately, Kenny was able to choose some prizes he really wanted, and he was happy. But my heart still hurts for him. He was doing the best he could to take care of his tickets, and they got stolen from him. Some other greedy kid, who didn’t care at all about my son, his feelings, or doing the right thing, stole my son’s tickets and wounded his heart.

What hurts me the most in remembering this incident are two things. First, remembering Kenny’s big, brown eyes filled with tears, and seeing his precious face so sad. Somebody hurt my beloved son, and in that moment, I was ready to track that child down and take care of business. If I had known what the child looked like, I surely would have done so.

I wonder how it feels for God, who has the power to avenge any offenses against me, to have to hold back His hand sometimes. If I had been able to, I would have done something about the offense committed against my son. There’s no way in the world I would have let it go. Standing by and allowing my son to suffer when it was in my power to do something about it would have just about killed me. I wonder, then, how God feels when it is in His power to do something, and He has to restrain Himself in accordance with His greater purposes? I wonder how He feels when His greater purposes call for allowing us to suffer rather than making everything right right now.

The second thing that hurts my heart is the fact that Kenny apologized to me. He was afraid he might have done something wrong in “allowing” his tokens and tickets to be stolen. He had been as careful as he could be. His actions were reasonable. Yet he was afraid that somehow, it was his fault, and he thought he better apologize in case I thought he had done something wrong.

Likewise, we are often afraid that somehow what happened to us is our fault. Even when it doesn’t involve any sin on our part, and even when we were being careful, we’re afraid that we did something wrong in failing to prevent it from happening.

Precious mom, there are some things that simply cannot be prevented. Just because something happens to us doesn’t necessarily mean it was our fault somehow. And it sure doesn’t mean God is going to be mad at us for not preventing it. Sometimes, tragedy happens. Sometimes, we’re victims. Sometimes, there was no way to foresee or prevent what happened—at least not by employing ordinary standards of care. There was no good reason for Kenny to feel that he should have prevented what happened, and I told him so. “It wasn’t your fault,” I said. “You were being careful, just like I told you. It wasn’t your fault someone decided to sin and take your cup. And you can be sure that God sees what happened. He knows it wasn’t your fault, and He knows whose fault it was. And He’s not happy this happened to you, either.”

My words seemed to help Kenny somewhat. Gradually, the tears went away, and a smile returned to his face. By the time we got into the van to go home, he was happily playing with his new toys and candy.

But the lessons remain with me: that sometimes, what happens to me is not my fault. And that when someone sins against me, God is not pleased. He’s not going to blame me for someone else’s sin; that person will indeed answer for it one day. Instead, He’ll hug me and tell me He’s sad with me about what happened. And in the moment of my grief, that’s what I want to here: that He’s there, and He cares.

There’s one more lesson I learned from this incident, however, and it, too, is important. This week was about God’s response when tragedy strikes; next week will be about the response we should show others when they’re hurt. I’ll see you next week for a precious lesson in coming alongside others when they’re in pain.

Matthew 25:40—”The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’”

Servants

One of our kids’ chores is to fold their own laundry. My husband (who usually does the laundry) takes their clothes to their room and tells them to sort and fold. One particular day, he delivered the girls’ clothes to their room and told them to get started. All three girls set to work.

As he was leaving the room, he heard Lindsey say thoughtfully to Ellie, “Boy, it’s like we’re servants or something.”

Exactly. They are indeed servants. That’s what we’re trying to train them to be, because God’s instructions for the home are that we all serve each other. We are a team, and we should each do our part to make the household work. Even Jesus Himself came not to be served but to serve.

So being a servant is not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it’s often a really good thing. The only problem is…it’s not always fun.

As moms, we’re well aware that one of the primary focuses of our life is to serve our family. Sometimes, serving is easy—like the other day when my kids tasted the meal I set in front of them and said, “Wow! I give this stuff an A+!” Other times, it’s difficult—like last night when one of my children woke me from a deep sleep to say, “Mommy, I had an accident in my bed.”

My attitude toward serving my family tends to vary according to the circumstances. Yours probably does, too. Sure, we’d always acknowledge that being a servant is important, and maybe even that it’s a good idea, or even a high calling. But what do we do when service doesn’t feel like much except drudgery or being unappreciated?

During those times, we can—and should!—remind ourselves that ultimately, we are not serving our family, but the Lord. He is the One who takes our service personally (see Matthew 25:40). But an interesting point arises in that, in the original Greek, the word usually translated “servant” is more properly rendered “slave”. We are Christ’s slaves.

What does it mean to be a slave of Christ? It means that we serve completely at the Master’s pleasure. It means we’re obligated to continue in service and can’t just walk away at any time we might choose. It means our purpose in life is to carry out His wishes and His will, and to advance His interests upon this earth. It means we don’t get to grumble and complain when the service is not to our liking.

Those are the obligations. But being Christ’s slave also comes with incredible benefits. First, it means we belong totally to Him. We belong! We never have to feel unwanted or unloved, because Christ paid an incredible price to buy us. Second, we are set apart to Him and free from the dictates of any other master. Even the one who wants to master us and ruin our lives (Satan) can’t do it, because we’re not his anymore. We’re now owned by God, and not subject to anyone else’s control. Third, we have a purpose in life. Yes, our purpose is to carry out the wishes of another, but don’t miss the incredible point that in carrying out His wishes, we are also doing what’s best for ourselves. Our purpose now is not to serve the one who wants to destroy us, but to spend our lives glorifying our new Master and thus filling our lives with incredible joy.

So yes, there are obligations. Yes, there are times when the Master will call upon us for service and we won’t want to do what He requires. But maybe it would encourage our spirit be more willing if we remembered that anything He asks us to do will also benefit us. What a gracious and benevolent Master we serve! He bought us from a life that would surely have destroyed us in order to give us a life that will never end. Eternal life. Eternal joy.

Sounds like a pretty good return for a mere few years of service, doesn’t it?

John 10:10—“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

1 Corinthians 7:22—For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ’s slave.

Stop Provoking

Okay, I admit it: my kids…sometimes…provoke each other. Generally speaking, they get along well, but there are those times when they pester their siblings, either accidentally or on purpose. When it’s an accident, all it requires from me is that I point out to the offender how the other person doesn’t appreciate what the offender is doing. It’s relatively easy to deal with. But when it’s on purpose? Well, that can be a little more tricky to deal with (as in, to help defuse the situation before the offended party strikes back).

Yes, children should refrain from shouting at or pushing their siblings. But it’s a lot harder for them to do the right thing when they’ve been provoked.

It makes sense. After all, it’s hard for me to do the right thing when I’ve been provoked, and I’m an adult. No wonder it’s hard for children.

That’s why God gave parents a very important and specific command: “[Parents], do not provoke your children to anger.” He knows it’s a lot harder for anyone, much less a little child, to obey when someone provokes them. He wants us to do everything we can to help our kids obey, not to make it harder on them.

What are some of the ways we make it harder on our kids to do the right thing? One way is by not making it clear what the “right thing” is. Kids don’t have a lot of life experience, and that means they don’t understand everything they’re supposed to do. When we fail to explain to them how they can learn to be the right kind of person at this particular stage in their lives, we set them up for doing the wrong thing.

Another way we provoke our children is by requiring that they succeed at something that is beyond their developmental level. Telling a two-year-old to clean her room and then getting mad when she doesn’t do a very good job is not only silly, but also hurtful and frustrating to our child. When we consistently frustrate our children in their efforts at obedience, we make it much harder for them to obey with a willing spirit.

Perhaps the most hurtful way we provoke our children is by wounding their little spirits. Harsh or even cruel treatment, unfairness, unkind words, insults, demanding “What’s wrong with you??”—all of these things wound our child’s soul. It’s hard to honor someone who consistently wounds you, and when our attitudes, words, and actions provoke our child to anger, we make it difficult, if not almost impossible, for our child to fulfill his or her second-greatest responsibility (honoring God is the first).

God knows that our children need our help in order to obey. He knows we need to be by turns gentle and firm, but always loving. So He commanded us to avoid being the kind of parent who will make it difficult for a child. Instead, we should be the kind of mom who makes it easy on her kids. Not by letting our children do whatever they want, but by being the kind of parent God is.

You see, God makes it as easy as possible for us to obey. He tells us clearly what is expected of us. He never expects more than He knows we are capable of doing. And He is never harsh and unloving with us. Instead, He pours out His love upon us every second of every day, even if we don’t always see it. Who could be easier to obey than a God like that?

Think about it, mom. Do you make it easy for your children to obey you? Do you make your expectations clear and developmentally appropriate? Do you then treat them with love, even when they mess up? Do you pour your love out upon them each and every day? Precious mom, no earthly person is easier to obey than a mom like that.

Yes, our children will still disobey sometimes, no matter how well we may parent. They’re sinners, just like we are. But we can make obedience a whole lot more likely—and much more pleasant for them to engage in—if we don’t provoke them, but instead show them guidance and treat them with understanding and love.

Ephesians 6:4 (CJB)—Fathers, don’t irritate your children and make them resentful; instead, raise them with the Lord’s kind of discipline and guidance.