May 2012

Untied

My 6-year-old daughter, Lindsey, loves monkeys. A couple years ago, she decided she liked a particular monkey, and her affection quickly grew into a liking for all monkeys, everywhere. So when she needed new sneakers not that long ago, she—of course—chose a pair with monkeys.

The only problem was that this pair was made to be fastened with laces instead of Velcro, and Lindsey didn’t know how to tie her shoes. That is, she had learned how to make the bunny go around the tree, but she wasn’t experienced at it. I didn’t want to buy her a pair of shoes that would require my tying them for her every time we had to go somewhere. So I told her I would buy her the shoes if she would practice tying them herself.

Lindsey agreed and became the proud owner of new monkey sneakers. True to her word, she tied her own shoelaces without complaint each time it was necessary. She’s gotten pretty good at it, too, though the laces keep coming untied, especially on her right foot. Usually, Lindsey doesn’t care. She’s perfectly happy to run around with the long laces dragging the ground. She willingly ties them if I tell her to, but for the most part, she doesn’t notice they’re not arranged in nice, neat bows anymore.

Sometimes, I get nervous. What if she trips? I can just imagine poor, sweet Lindsey with her hands, knees, and chin scraped, all because she tripped over her untied shoelaces. So I tell her to tie her shoes, not because I’m trying to mess up her fun, but because I’m trying to keep her from danger.

It’s the same thing God does for us.

Often, we’re content to go through life not noticing whether or not both shoes are tied. Or, worse yet, we know one shoe’s untied, but we don’t bother to do anything about it. Either we’re oblivious to the potential danger, or we simply don’t care. Either way, we run the risk of tripping and falling and perhaps scraping ourselves badly.

God understands the danger of untied shoelaces—of parts of our lives not being properly controlled. That’s why He gives us all kinds of warnings not to let our shoes become untied. If we fail in our preventive efforts, He’s willing to tell us exactly what to do in order to tie them up again.

The problem is that sometimes, we don’t want to listen. Maybe we’d don’t want to take the time and effort to correct the problem. Or maybe we don’t believe God that we’re in danger. Either way, we ignore His warnings and prescriptions and go blithely about our business, little knowing or caring that we’re in danger.

Is there some shoe in your life that’s untied right now? Are you running the risk of being tripped up? If you don’t think so, ask God to help you examine your shoes so you can be sure. If you know that one is untied, repent and do what He’s told you to do about it. If you’re not sure what to do, ask Him.

Usually, the consequences of tripping over actual shoelaces aren’t that big a deal. If Lindsey does trip, a few scrapes are the worst things she’ll probably face. In life, the consequences can be much greater.

Don’t suffer consequences you could avoid. Don’t trip over something that could separate you from God or your family. Don’t let an untied shoe move from a potential to an actual tragedy in your life.

Instead, do the right thing. Do what I’d tell Lindsey to do, out of love and concern for her. Check your shoes.

1 Corinthians 10:12—Therefore let anyone who thinks that [she] stands take heed lest [she] fall.

Sweet Blessings

This past week, I had the blessing of attending the Colorado Christian Writer’s Conference, which I attend every year. It’s held on the campus of the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, Colorado, nestled in the midst of the Rocky Mountains. It’s a gorgeous location and an educational and spiritually uplifting time—not to mention full of fun and fellowship with friends I’ve seen before and friends I meet for the first time.

Usually, I attend the conference by myself. This year, since Timmy is still nursing, I had to take him with me. I must admit that I wasn’t entirely looking forward to doing so. For one thing, I felt disappointed that I wouldn’t have the time to myself. For another, I wasn’t sure how well Timmy would do with traveling to a new place and being off his normal schedule.

I needn’t have worried. Timmy was a marvelous traveler, and though his eating and sleeping habits became somewhat disrupted by the trip, he sailed through it all with a peaceful, relaxed demeanor and happy smiles. Many of my fellow faculty members, as well as the conferees, were blessed by having him there and getting to play with him and hold him. And I was pleasantly surprised not only at how well he did but at what a sweet time Timmy and I had together, so much so that I think next year will feel lonely without him.

Our Father is so creative and generous in thinking of ways to bless us. This time, He gave me the unexpected gift of sweet memories that will last forever. Other times, He gives me (and you) blessings as varied as the infinite expressions of His creativity. Why? Because He loves us. Because He delights in expressing His inventive ways to bless us. Because He enjoys giving us something beyond what we asked or imagined.

What He doesn’t enjoy, however, is when we take His blessings for granted. When we start seeing them as our right rather than our privilege. When the things He intends to delight and surprise us bring little more than a “that’s nice”.

Had I gone to Colorado with Timmy expecting that God owed me the wonderful trip we had, I wouldn’t have appreciated it nearly as much. It wouldn’t have been the sweet time of fellowship that it was. And instead of focusing on the unending delights with which God was blessing me, I probably would have focused on making sure God was living up to what He was “supposed” to do—and maybe even complained if He didn’t do it.

God owes us nothing. Nothing. Each and every gift we receive from Him is a blessing we don’t deserve. Feeling entitled brings nothing but discontent when we don’t receive what we believe we’re entitled to; feeling grateful brings delight and wonder. Wonder that Almighty God would love us so incredibly much. Wonder that He would be willing to continue to bless us despite our lack of merit. Wonder that He would give us anything at all.

Do you take God’s blessings for granted? Do you spend more time complaining about what God didn’t do for you than rejoicing in and thanking Him for what He did do? If so, don’t let that go on any longer. Repent, and be grateful. If you already are grateful, continue to rejoice in His bounty. Name His blessings one by one and give thanks.

You know how much you love giving gifts to your own children and having them go wide-eyed with amazement. God feels the same way.

Psalm 8:4—What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?

Psalm 66:5—Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man.

Letter to a New Mom

Dear New Mom,

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I know your free time is at a premium right now, so I won’t keep you for very long. But there are some things my heart longs to communicate to yours—things I wish I had understood better when I was a new mom. Things which, if you can grasp them now, will make this crazy, wonderful, intense new venture of motherhood even sweeter and richer. Maybe a little calmer and more peaceful, too.

You see, I know how you feel as a new mom. I well remember the feeling of holding my first child, a daughter, in my arms and being overwhelmed with love for her. I didn’t even know I was capable of such love until I met her. I love her so much I would die for her, if necessary. I’d throw myself in harm’s way without a second thought if it meant I could save her. And what I wish I’d realized at the time is that my love for my daughter is a mere reflection of how much God the Father loves me. In fact, God not only would sacrifice Himself for me and you, but He did. John 3:16 tells us that Jesus died on the cross so that you didn’t have to. Why? For the glory of God, certainly. But also because He loved you. Yes, God Almighty loves you that much. So when you hold your precious baby in your arms, think about that. That love you feel welling up in you, threatening to burst your heart? It’s but a fraction of the powerful love God feels for you.

Another thing I wish I’d known as a new mom is that motherhood is hard enough without worrying about being perfect. I know that you so badly want to get things right, and I understand why that is. You love your child. But here’s what I wish I had known: Getting things right as a whole doesn’t mean you have to get things perfect in every detail. If that were true, we’d all be doomed for sure. I made mistakes. You will make mistakes. There’s simply no way around it, because you are a human being. But the great news is this: God doesn’t require you to know everything. He knows you’re not God, and He has promised to give you wisdom whenever you ask (James 1:5). The secret is to keep asking rather than trying to muddle through on your own. You already know that you can’t do it but that He can. So ask for wisdom, and keep asking. I’ve prayed more since having children than in all my pre-child years put together. I bet you will find the same thing.

Speaking of talking to God, I wish I’d known what staying in touch with Him as a mom would look like. I naively assumed that it would look exactly the same as in my pre-child days, if I just tried hard enough. But if you’ve been a mom for longer than ten minutes, you already know that babies are unpredictable. They don’t always fit neatly into a schedule that allows you large, unbroken blocks of time for prayer and reflection. Even if they do, you’re probably too tired to take full advantage of that time. But God doesn’t intend for your times with Him to look exactly the same as they used to. He is calling you to a different season in life, and one of the many lessons He intends for you during this time is to learn to relate to Him in a new way. You will learn to see and hear God in the midst of everything. Just as God formerly spoke to His servants through things like harvests, seeds, and sheep, so He still speaks to us through common, everyday items. This means that He uses things like diaper changes, bath time, and even unexpected things like racquetballs (that was an interesting object lesson for me) to teach you things in a very real, relevant way. So yes, keep reading your Bible. Keep praying. Absolutely, on both counts. But remember that your new life doesn’t entirely look like your old one, and your quiet times won’t either. That’s okay. Be open to the new thing God wants to do (Isaiah 43:19).

There’s one more thing I would like to tell you before you go, and that’s this: It’s okay to ask for help. It really is. There will be times when you’re so exhausted you want to cry. There will be times when you’re so frustrated you want to scream. Or cry. You can expect there to be times when you’re bored, lonely, or worried. Maybe even all three at the same time. When you feel like that, remember that it’s okay to ask for help. You are not supposed to be able to do it all alone. Many times we moms think we should be able to do everything ourselves if we just try hard enough and pray hard enough. That’s simply not true. Satan would love to have you believe that it is, for if he can separate you from God and other Christians, he’s got you right where he wants you. On the other hand, God says that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). So don’t be afraid to call a friend or mentor for help. In fact, I recommend that you make a list of a few names and numbers right now. You will need these women. God made us to need one another, and there’s no way around it. You should never feel ashamed or embarrassed for needing other moms. After all, God didn’t make you to walk alone.

Precious new mom, if you and I lived close together, I’d invite you over for coffee and dessert, or maybe a smoothie if you don’t do coffee. We’d sit at the table together, with me holding your precious baby so you could eat with your hands free for once, and we’d talk. About anything and nothing. About things that matter and things we won’t remember next week. I’d ask you how you were doing, and I’d really listen to your answer, because I’d want to show you that it’s not only your baby who matters; you still matter too. But since we don’t live just blocks apart, maybe not in the same state or even country, I wrote you this letter instead. There’s so much more I would say if I could, but this is enough for now. You have plenty to think about. I’ll trust God to bring these words home to you in whatever way He deems best.

Hugs to you and to your precious little one. Until we meet, whether here on this earth or in heaven, I’ll continue to pray for you. May I pray a blessing over you right now? “The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace” (Numbers 6:24-26), both now and forevermore. Amen.

With much love,
Megan's Signature

Cheetah Spray

Sometimes, the conversations you overhear while your children are playing are really interesting.

Such was the case not long ago when Ellie and Lindsey were playing with their Littlest Pet Shop toys. They had the entire playroom floor covered with their setup and were happily bringing the characters to life. It sounded pretty normal until one of the animals apparently did something wrong. The ensuing conversation, wherein my daughters tried to figure out which animal was the culprit, caught my attention. It went something like this:

Ellie: “Maybe it was a cheetah.”

Lindsey: “But the cheetah was over here. He didn’t do it.”

Ellie: “Well maybe whoever did it used cheetah spray to make it smell like cheetahs so everybody would think it was the cheetah.”

I had to smile. Sounded like a pretty good explanation to me.

What’s not quite so good is when you and I, as adults, do something similar. Maybe we don’t use cheetah spray, but we have all kinds of other creative ways to try to avoid responsibility for our actions.

“If you hadn’t done A, I wouldn’t have done B.” “I can’t help it. I was raised that way.” “It wasn’t my fault. It was (fill in any name here)’s fault.”

Does any of these sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve used these excuses at one time or another. Perhaps you have different favorites. Whatever reasons you and I give for avoiding responsibility, they are all false. If we did or said something, it was because we chose to. Period. Instead of trying to get out of the responsibility, or make excuses for our actions, we would do better to try to get at the root cause of whatever made us want to do the thing we did.

Solomon, the author of the book of Proverbs, tells us that everything in life comes from what is in our heart. Jesus Himself said the same thing, telling us that everything we say comes from the overflow of our heart. If we do or say something, or fail to act or speak, we are only revealing what we’re like inside. That’s why we usually want to cover it up. We don’t want people to know we’re really like that.

But there is Someone who knows exactly what we’re like. The Bible also tells us that “no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” We can’t fool Him by trying to find reasons we’re not really at fault. He knows we did something wrong and have no one to blame but ourselves.

Adam and Eve would know how we feel. When they were caught doing wrong, they tried to blame anyone but themselves. Eve blamed the serpent. Adam blamed both Eve and God. But God knew better. He also knew Adam and Eve were stuck with no way out of their guilt unless He did something. So He did the same thing for them He did for us: He made a way out.

The way out is Jesus. He died on the cross for us. His death was necessary because we can’t help ourselves out of our self-made predicament, and God requires payment for sin. Our sins were laid on Jesus, and He paid the penalty. He, of all people, knows what it’s like to be blamed for something that’s really not your fault. But He accepted the blame and paid the price. Why, so we could continue to live with filthy, sinful hearts and cast all the responsibility elsewhere? No. So our hearts could be made clean.

In order to accept His gift, we first have to recognize what is in our hearts—total, utter depravity. Many of us have done this and asked Jesus to cleanse us and be our Lord. But despite the fact our hearts have been made new, we still have a propensity to sin. And when we do so, we need to ask God to help us examine our hearts and root out the sin, not just blame it on somebody or something else.

Jesus didn’t die so we could receive a “get out of hell free” card and then spend the rest of our lives ignoring, minimizing, or explaining away our sin. He died so our hearts could be cleansed.

I know it’s painful to admit that there is something nasty, sinful, or repulsive in my heart that made me think, speak, or act a certain way. You probably don’t like admitting the state of your heart either. But I want to die to sin, not sweep it under the rug. I want to live to Christ, not live for my own ego. I bet you feel the same way.

Maybe there’s something in your life right now that you’ve been excusing away. Instead of continuing to do so, accept the blame and ask God to help you discover what is in your heart that needs to be done away with. For abundant life isn’t found in being perfect, but in having a clean heart that’s in right relationship with Jesus. For that, you need His help. Fortunately, He’s ready and willing to give it. All you have to do is ask. Why not ask right now?

Romans 6:11—So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 12:34—“For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”

Hebrews 4:13—And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.