June 2012

Dance Now

One of the best things about having children is that you get to do goofy, fun things with them. You have an excuse for singing at the top of your lungs while you’re driving, making the person in the next car over wonder about you; you’re totally justified in seeing who can make the best zebra noise; and you have every reason in the world to crank up the CD player in the kitchen and dance like crazy until you all fall over.

The other day, I was standing in the dining room holding Timmy when a neat song came on the radio that was playing in the kitchen. I wanted to dance! So I gripped Timmy’s right hand with my left hand, held him close with my other arm around him and his around me, and danced. Gently, of course—not crazily—because Timmy is still young. And as we danced, the thought hit me: someday, I will dance with you at your wedding. Only then, you’ll be taller than I am—probably much taller. I’ll still hold your right hand with my left, but my other arm won’t be around you holding you up, and yours won’t be helping you cling to me for dear life, lest you flop over backwards. You’ll put your hand on the small of my back to guide me, because you’ll be the leader, not I. I’ll look up into your eyes instead of down. And we’ll dance.

I know that if this time ever comes (because he might not choose to have dancing at his wedding, or might not even get married), it will be many years in the future. Time and life may intervene in unexpected ways to prevent that day from ever taking place. I have no guarantee that I’ll ever dance with Timmy at his wedding.

That’s why we dance now.

Do you dance with your children? Maybe not literally (although it’s a great activity), but at least figuratively? Do you do things with them—silly, random, fun things—that you can look back on later and remember, not just the activity, but the fun, laughter, and love you shared?

Often, we think about doing the big things, like vacations, Christmas, and birthday parties. But do we make the most of the little moments of each day with our kids? Yes, the big events can bring big memories. But so do the little ones, the special moments you make out of nothing, the moments that almost pass by as ordinary until you make them something special.

Timmy will never remember that we danced that day in the dining room. But I will. And if we have enough of these moments together, he will at least grow up knowing that home, and Mommy, were fun and secure places to be.

Both fun and security are important, but one is foundational. Security is foundational to fun. If you don’t feel secure, you won’t be having fun. But when my children say things like Ellie has said a few times—“I never want to grow up, because being a kid is so much fun”—I know they feel secure as well.

So by having fun in the everyday moments, I not only get to hear my children’s contagious giggles, I also get to know that I’m building security into them. We may not have crazy-fun moments every day, but the everyday moments can be crazy-fun, if we’re willing to seize them.

How about you? Do you have fun with your child? Does your child get to experience the precious gift of having fun with you? Because that’s what family fun is: a gift from God, designed to knit together the hearts of the parents and the children.

None of us knows what tomorrow will bring, or if there will even be a tomorrow. If tomorrow does come, we don’t know whether it will be filled with joy, tragedy, or something in between. Put simply, you can’t count on tomorrow, either to exist or to afford you the opportunities to have fun and bond in silly ways with your children. So don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

Dance now.

Proverbs 3:27, 28—Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back later; I’ll give it tomorrow”—when you now have it with you.

Proverbs 27:1—Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.

Smiley Guy

Guy SmileyRemember Guy Smiley, the Sesame Street character who was a game show host? He talked in that “game show host” voice, and he always had a huge smile. Hence the name.

Timmy’s a lot like him in that Timmy always has a smile, too. In fact, just yesterday morning, Ellie woke up and came to find him in hopes of catching him having his morning smile-a-thon. So, while Timmy doesn’t host any game shows and therefore can’t be called Guy Smiley, exactly, he definitely earns the title of Smiley Guy.

Last month, when I took Timmy with me to the Colorado Christian Writer’s Conference, Timmy charmed everyone with his desire to be cuddled, his sweet nature, and—you guessed it—his smiles.

Timmy SmilingEllie seeks Timmy out, knowing the odds are good she can catch him smiling or make him smile. Friends and even strangers seek Timmy out, hoping for the same. That’s because Timmy has a reputation. At not-quite-four-months old, he’s already known for his happy demeanor. And I love that.

What are you known for? What am I known for? When people think of us, what do they think of? Smiles and a sweet spirit? Or…something else?

We are all known for something. For some of us, like Timmy, it might be for our sweet and always-ready smile. I have a friend like this. She is beautiful, both inside and out, and her smile lights up my day.

Others of us might be known for our sense of humor, our willingness to work hard and serve others, or our encouraging nature.

But it’s possible to be known for negative things, too, such as constant negativity, frequent complaints, or lack of sensitivity.

Which group are you in? The first group or the second?

Granted, we all have occasional bad days. I’ve had days where I complained more than I smiled, and you probably have too. But what are you known for on a consistent basis? When people think of you, what do they think of?

If you’re not sure, you can ask your husband and your children (children, especially young ones, will be brutally honest), or a friend who is brave enough to be honest with you, even if she thinks it’s something you wouldn’t want to hear. Ask them to tell you what they think of when they think of you. Let them be free to give their true answers, and listen to those answers.

The reason why it matters what you’re known for is this: Jesus said that people will know we are His disciples if we love one another. He also said that if we love Him, we will obey His commandments. In other words, if we truly love Him, we will be best known for doing something He commands us to do, not for a negative quality.

Find out what you’re known for. Perhaps people’s answers will be encouraging. Perhaps they will be enlightening. Either way, you need to know. If you’re known for something that would please Jesus, thank Him for shining through you. If you’re known for something that doesn’t please Him, repent. Confess what you’ve done wrong. Ask His forgiveness, and ask Him to pour His life into you so that it spills over to others.

That’s what being a Christian is all about.

John 13:35—“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 14:15—“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”

Earprints

My son Timmy is now 3.5 months old, despite the fact it seems like I gave birth to him only yesterday. He’s lost that newborn look and is turning into, well, a little boy. He’s full of smiles, and he’s learning to reach out and grasp things (and then bring them to his mouth and gnaw on them with his drooly, toothless gums). Not too far in the future, he’ll be walking and talking. One day, he’ll start school, and all too soon after that, he’ll be asking for the keys to the car. Some days, I can feel time slipping through my fingers, and in those moments, I wish I could simply stop time forever and keep him just like he is right now.

Oh, I know he needs to grow up. I just don’t want him to do it too fast. So as the days sneak by, I try to hold a little piece of each one in my memory for later.

One of the things I most want to remember is the feel of him in my arms while he sleeps. I love cuddling him close as he rests, utterly secure and at peace. And I really love it when he leaves ear prints.

Timmy SleepingWhat are ear prints? They’re indentations in my arm, up near the elbow, in the shape of his ear, pressed into my skin by the gentle weight of his head lying trustingly against me. Why do I love them? Because they’re visible evidence of the moments of bonding and love my son and I have shared. Because they remind me of how much I love my Timmy, and how much he loves me.

This devotion could have been about how we can lie securely in God’s arms, trusting in His care and comfort. But it isn’t. It’s about the marks.

You see, just as Timmy leaves marks on me because of our relationship, so we have left marks on the body of Almighty God because of our relationship with Him.

God doesn’t have a body, you might say.

True, the Father doesn’t. But Jesus does. And upon His body, He still bears visible signs of His bond with us.

Jesus had nails driven through His hands and feet so He could hold us in His arms. He had a spear thrust into His side because of His love for us. And now, even in His risen body, He bears permanent reminders of the price of our relationship Him.

So yes, rest trustingly in His arms. Yes, be secure in Him. But don’t forget His wounds. It cost Jesus something to love us. In fact, it cost Him everything.

Isaiah 53:5—But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

Two Kinds of Best

Sometimes, it seems as if motherhood is about settling for less.

We want to stay in shape, but we don’t have time, so we settle for buying an aerobics video and working out with it three times before we consign it to obscurity in the DVD cabinet.

We’d like to travel the world, but we settle for going to the grocery store by ourselves.

We want to develop our intellectual abilities, but we wouldn’t be able to get to a class, much less fit study time into our schedule or pay tuition. So we settle for memorizing the drive-thru orders for four different children at each of three different restaurants.

We’re frustrated, particularly when we feel we have a gift or ability in a certain area but no opportunity to develop that talent. We chafe under the limitations imposed on us by our circumstances.

I understand that feeling. I’ve been there too, wishing I could further develop the area of my gifting. I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes when I’ve done well and performed at a high level. But right now, furthering this interest is simply not possible due to, well, life.

I was thinking about this the other day. I felt frustrated that I wasn’t able to progress to the level of which I am capable. Sure, I’m working on the subject at a lesser level now, and I’m doing my best at it, but it’s not as good as my “real” best. At least, that’s how I saw it at the time.

I was wrong.

What God taught me when I was longing for what it’s not possible to have right now is this: there are two kinds of best. The first kind involves doing the best of which I am capable, considering my God-given abilities and interests. The second means doing the best of which I’m capable, considering the circumstances God has placed in my life.

The first kind is what I had wanted, what I had thought would excite me. The second kind, I learned, is what will satisfy me.

I know it can be disappointing not to be able to pursue an interest or skill. Sometimes, it’s extremely disappointing. But we make a terrible mistake if we assume that doing what God has said is not possible right now would be more satisfying than what He has said is possible.

We’re wrong if we think that doing our best at what we want to be called to would be more satisfying than doing our best at what we are called to.

How can I say this? How can I claim that pursuing distinction at a once-a-week class is more satisfying than excelling at full-time study? Or that making an awesome PBJ sandwich can be more fulfilling than going to culinary arts school?

Because if God’s design for your life right now is sandwiches made to the specifications of a two-year-old, you will experience His presence more fully when you get out the peanut butter than you would by going beyond His boundaries and enrolling in school. And that’s what satisfaction is: God Himself. Not better skills, increased knowledge, or more excitement. God Himself.

It’s not wrong to want to learn more or pursue a favorite interest. Not at all! The problem comes when we assume that God has given us the less-satisfying portion and denied us what would really make us happy. If that’s what we think, we’re finding happiness in our circumstances rather than in God’s presence.

Where do you find your happiness? In participating in things you enjoy? Or in being in God’s presence? If it’s the former, you’ll be disappointed every time things don’t work out or God says no. If it’s the latter, you’ll never be disappointed. Ever. Because His presence is always available to you, regardless of the circumstances.

This is what Jesus was talking about when He told the Samaritan woman that she should be asking for living water, not just the regular stuff in the well. He was making the point that earthly things do not ultimately satisfy, but that God’s presence does.

Do you want certain circumstances, or do you want God Himself? Do you spend more time praying that He will give you certain things so that you can be satisfied? Or do you spend more time praying that He will give you Himself?

For me, it’s often the “circumstances” option. But I don’t want that to be the case. I want God’s presence to be more important to me than anything else in life. I want to draw my satisfaction from a well that will never run dry. I want to experience true fulfillment, not just temporary excitement.

I pray this is what you want too.

Hebrews 13:5—Be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Psalm 142:5—I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

John 4:10—Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”