August 2012

Almost Ten Already

Megan Breedlove August 27, 2012 0Comment

Recently, I was invited to speak to two moms’ groups in another state. I was aware that the coordinator had been trying to put this together for awhile now, and I was excited to hear that everything had been worked out. Unfortunately, I had to decline the date they offered me and request a different date if possible. Why? Because on the day I would have had to fly out, my oldest daughter Ellie will turn 10.

I can hardly believe she’s almost ten already. Almost double digits, despite the fact I gave birth to her only last week. She’s growing up, and I’m not sure where the last 9+ years have gone, but I do know they’ve gone by too fast.

At 9, Ellie is halfway toward leaving home and going to college. She’s more than halfway toward getting her driver’s license. And she’s probably only a few years from the changes that will signal her body is becoming a woman’s body instead of a girl’s.

I vividly remember bringing her home from the hospital after she was born, setting her carrier down in our large brown recliner (nicknamed “Old Faithful”) and thinking, “Now what do we do with her?” Yet that little baby is halfway to being an adult. She’s grown and changed, and that’s great. I want that for her. But sometimes I wish she were still small enough to hold easily in one arm.

Actually, Ellie’s not the only one who’s grown and changed over the past nine-and-a-half years. I have too. Motherhood grows you like nothing else will. But I’ve been growing and changing for a lot longer than I’ve been a mom.

I, too, started out as a little baby (though my kids don’t quite grasp this fact). I’m now a 41-year-old woman and a mom of five. Just the changes involved in getting from that particular point A to that point B are incredible! But they’re not the only changes I’ve experienced. In fact, they’re probably not even the most significant.

You see, my character’s been growing and changing as long as my physical body has because God’s been working on me. Before God formed me in my mother’s womb, He knew the qualities He would place within me, the weaknesses as well as the strengths. When I was born, He began to use all the circumstances of my life that He had planned out to develop me as a person into the precious creation He had in mind since before time began.

Yet when I look back, I usually notice my imperfections first. Maybe you do too. It’s easy to look back and see the things I’ve done wrong and the ways I’ve failed. It’s super-duper-easy, as my kids would say, to be aware of my struggles and the things I’m still working on. Rarely do I consider the ways in which I’ve grown.

For example, I still struggle with patience at times. Yet I’m quite certain that the amount of patience I now have as the mother of 5, even though I’m imperfect, is more than the amount of patience I had before I had children. I’m also 100% sure that even though I sometimes struggle with being critical, I’m more far more encouraging now than I used to be. When I think about it, I can see how far I’ve come in several areas.

I’m sure you can see the same. Maybe you don’t trust God as fully as you would like to, but you’ve come a long way since the day you first realized you needed to trust Him more. Or maybe you get frustrated for no good reason sometimes (don’t we all?), but these incidents are fewer and farther between than they were several years ago.

I know it’s far easier to focus on our imperfections rather than on how far we’ve come. Satan loves it when we do that. Why? Because when we focus on our imperfections, our eyes are on ourselves. But when we look back at what God has done in our lives—when we consider the countless times God has helped us and realize how far He has brought us—we’re filled with love and gratitude.

True, we need to acknowledge where we fall short. But we must not do so to the exclusion of remembering the progress we have made because of God’s help, and the constant loving Presence He has been in our lives, despite the fact that we weren’t perfect.

In what area have you come far, mom? In what way are you closer to holiness now than you were some time ago? Don’t get caught up in saying, “Oh, I still have so far to go.” Maybe you do. I know I do in some areas, and I’m not suggesting either one of us excuse our sins. But let’s not forget to celebrate what God has done for us in bringing us this far. Let’s celebrate the works of the Lord and His goodness toward us.

What works of the Lord in your life do you need to celebrate today?

Psalm 66:5—Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man’s behalf!

1 Samuel 7:12—Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far has the LORD helped us.”

He Already Knows

Megan Breedlove August 20, 2012 0Comment

Trying to teach kids to think for themselves can be…challenging.

My five kids are still in the stage where they often, if not usually, want Mommy to have all the answers. They bring me all sorts of dilemmas. Maybe some of these sound familiar:

“Mommy, I can’t find my shoes.” (Child then stands there waiting for you to do something about it.)

“Mommy, I want to buy (insert the name of a toy or video game here), but I don’t have any money.”

“Mommy, Lindsey’s using the markers, and I want to use them.”

It’s sometimes frustrating trying to teach children to attempt to work something out on their own before giving up and looking in the back of the book for the answers. After all, it’s so much easier just to ask Mommy. Takes less brainpower. And Mommy will often just give the answer because she’s too tired to guide the aforementioned child through the laborious process of reasoning out in 5 minutes what it took her 5 seconds to figure out.

I know for a fact that Jesus understood how hard it is to get people (even adults) to think for themselves. The Bible tells us about several instances of Jesus’ trying to get the disciples or others to figure out things on their own. We read about one such situation in John chapter 6. Jesus has been preaching to a large crowd, and it’s dinnertime. The crowd is hungry. The only problem is, nobody seems to have brought any food, and they’re out in the country, so nobody can just drive to the grocery store, either. What are they going to do?

That’s what the disciples are wondering. When Jesus asked Phillip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” Phillip must have thought, Beats me! Guess we’re out of luck.

That’s in verse 5. But look at what verse 6 says: “He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.”

The response He wanted from Phillip was something like, “I don’t know, Lord. But I bet You do.” Or maybe, “It’s hopeless unless You do something about it.” In other words, He wanted Phillip to look to Him as the source of the solution to the dilemma. Instead, Phillip stopped with “I don’t know,” and “It’s hopeless.”

But even though Jesus was asking Phillip to think things through a little bit, and even though He sometimes does the same for us, He knew then—and He knows now—what He is going to do. All the while Phillip was getting confused and coming up with the wrong response, Jesus knew what He was going to do.

And all the while you, today, are struggling, Mom—all the while you are confused and uncertain, and you don’t see any possible way to make things work out right—Jesus knows what He is going to do.

Whatever situation you face, Jesus knows what He is going to do about it. Yes, He might ask you to think and pray things through before He reveals His answer. Yes, He might even ask you to contribute a little something toward the solution (as the boy contributed his lunch). But even in the midst of everything you face—whether pain, confusion, frustration, or all of the above—He knows what He is going to do.

So why doesn’t He tell me??? you wonder. I don’t know. I don’t know why He sometimes withholds an answer long past the time when we plead for one. But I do know that there’s a reason, and it’s not because He hasn’t figured out what He should do to help you. It’s not because Jesus is confused or surprised by your situation and hasn’t had time to make plans. No, His plans for your circumstances were already in place before the foundation of the world.

And at the proper time, to be determined by Him and not by you or me, He will reveal those plans and set them into motion.

Just because He hasn’t put the solution in place yet doesn’t mean He doesn’t care. I suppose Phillip could have concluded that Jesus didn’t care when Jesus asked Him the question. But Phillip would have been wrong.

Jesus’ solutions don’t always come in our timing. But they will come at the right time, and they will be better solutions than anything we could ask or imagine. After all, the disciples picked up 12 baskets full of leftovers. Jesus not only provided a feast, He provided abundantly more than what was needed.

Guess what? He’ll do the same for us. He’s got a solution in mind that will be so perfect we’ll be amazed.

When? I don’t know. What will it look like? I don’t know that either. But I do know that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So I also know that the Jesus who knew what to do then, knows what to do now.

“He already [knows] what He [is] going to do.”

John 6:6—He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Hebrews 13:8—Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Blame the Elephant

Megan Breedlove August 13, 2012 0Comment

One of my son Timmy’s favorite toys is a blue elephant. It has a plush head and a crinkly body. Each of its arms and legs (well, since it’s an elephant, I guess all four appendages are legs, but two of them look like arms) ends in a bumpy plastic piece that’s apparently a lot of fun to chew on. The only problem was that the elephant was quite floppy, and sometimes Timmy had trouble getting it into his mouth in exactly the right position to chew on whatever part of it he had in mind.

Such was the case one particular morning. Timmy was crinkling that elephant’s body and trying to mash it into his face somehow, and apparently it was not going well. Timmy was making these grunting, growling noises (I couldn’t help thinking of a dog worrying a bone). Eventually, he got frustrated enough that he began crying and letting out little screams.

“What’s the matter with Timmy?” one of his sisters asked.

“He’s getting really mad at the elephant because he can’t chew on it the way he wants to,” I said.

Of course, Timmy wasn’t mad at the elephant, exactly. He was mad about the situation in general. Being mad at the elephant would have made as much sense as…well, as the way we moms act sometimes.

Some of us are masters at blaming others for “making” us feel a certain way. We tell our kids they made us mad. We tell our husband he made us feel unloved. We tell people they made us feel embarrassed, or insignificant, or stupid. To listen to us tell it, our feelings are all other people’s fault.

The problem with a statement like that is that it’s a lie.

No one else is responsible for our feelings. No one else makes us feel a certain way. Our kids didn’t irritate us. They argued with each other, and we chose to become irritated about it. Our husband didn’t upset us. He failed to compliment us, and we responded by becoming upset.

Well, what else was I supposed to feel in a certain situation? you ask. If my child disobeys for the thousandth time, what else would I feel but mad?

Answer: anything you want.

You see, you are the one who has the power to determine your feelings. Not your kids, not your husband, not your friends. Not even strangers. Nobody else but you.

How do I know this is true? Because Jesus did it.

But I’m not Jesus!

Granted. And I’m not either. But remember that one reason Jesus came was to show us not what only God could do on His own, but what He could do through human beings if they relied completely on Him and let Him determine their actions and reactions.

Saying that you can’t react any differently when people offend you is like saying the God in you isn’t big enough to change you, and that’s a lie. God is big enough, powerful enough, and wise enough to do anything. He can certainly change your heart. He can teach you new ways to respond to others. He can make you, in the area of your emotions, a picture of His loving grace instead of your own selfish desire to require others to treat you rightly so that you never have to think about forgiving or turning the other cheek.

But first, you have to admit that you have a choice as to how you react to others. You have to acknowledge that you can choose.

It’s hard sometimes. Believe me; I know. I have been deeply offended and wounded at times in my life. But I can choose how I respond to those wounds. I can either allow others’ wrong treatment of me to determine my emotional responses and get me stuck in bitterness and negativity, or I can admit that with God’s help, I’m free to choose another response that will bring emotional life instead of death.

I know which one I want to choose, though I have to admit I don’t always do it. It would be much easier to blame others for the way I feel. But the only thing I can blame them for is their words and actions. I have to blame me for my response.

I need to grow in this area. Perhaps you do too. So let’s pray for each other to be willing to accept the responsibility for our reactions and then to turn to God for help to make our responses what they should be. Because without Him, we simply can’t do it. But with Him, we can.

Philippians 4:13—I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Proverbs 3:7-8— Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.

When the Time Comes

Megan Breedlove August 6, 2012 0Comment

A couple months ago, my kids and I watched the Olympic Trials in gymnastics. This was the competition based upon which gymnasts would either earn a spot on Team USA for the London 2012 Olympics, or not.

One of the competitors was the then-reigning Olympic Women’s Individual All-Around champion, Nastia Liukin. As incredible a gymnast as her title would suggest, she intended to compete on the balance beam and uneven bars in hopes of winning a spot on the team for her second trip to the Olympics.

The only problem was that her decision to try out for the team had been made a mere few weeks before, and therefore, she had only trained seriously for about three weeks before the Trials. This left her unprepared to perform at the level of which she was capable, and it showed. She had repeated major errors on both apparatus, including a fall from the uneven bars. Her performances left me cringing in embarrassment for her.

Clearly, Nastia possesses the talent to do far better than she did. I remember watching her four years ago in Beijing, when she was at the peak of her performance ability. She was truly incredible. There was no other gymnast in the world like her. Everything she did was beautiful.

Not this time. This time, she wasn’t anywhere close to ready for the Olympics. When it came time to perform, she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t prepared, so she failed.

Obviously, things would have been different had she had more preparation time. But that was just the point. She didn’t, and there are some things in this life you just can’t do right without adequate preparation.

We all face trials in life. Some are small trials at which we could succeed with our eyes closed. But there are many that will be big enough—some will even be huge—that we won’t be able to pass without adequate preparation beforehand.

What are you doing to prepare for trials that might come?

Are you pursuing wisdom now so that when you need it, you’ll have it? Do you spend time not only reading God’s Word, but studying it? Do you attend worship services and really listen to the sermon? Do you read Christian books and think about what they teach, or talk about them with others?

Are you building an intimate relationship with God now so that when trials come, you’ll be close to Him? Do you spend time in prayer, which is simply talking with Him and listening to Him? Do you meditate on the spiritual truth? Do you record the things He tells you and bring them to mind periodically?

Are you building stamina now? Are you practicing hard work when the pressure’s off, so that when it’s on, you’ll have stamina built up?

Are you connecting with other believers now, so that when you need other people around you, you’ll have these relationships to fall back on?

If you don’t do these things now, then when a trial comes, you’ll be scrambling during the trial to catch up to where you could have been before it started. And you may not be able to do it.

God is always with us. But He expects us to diligently prepare for what might lie ahead. It’s not realistic for us to expect that we can fail to prepare for life and then have Him rescue us from the consequences of our lack of preparation. That makes about as much sense as it would if we were to show up at the Olympic Trials, never having practiced gymnastics, and expect Him to make us Olympic-caliber gymnasts.

Precious woman and mom, what are you doing to prepare? What are you doing now so that you will be ready when the time comes?

Proverbs 20:4—A sluggard does not plow in season; so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.

August 2012

Almost Ten Already

He Already Knows

Blame the Elephant

When the Time Comes

You Missed

Priorities

I Wouldn’t Do That

Little Things

8 Seconds