November 2012

Because You’re Here

Megan Breedlove November 26, 2012 2Comments

A few nights ago, Jessica had a nightmare. She came into our room crying and needing reassurance that no, no one was going to come into her room and take her. I made her a “bed” of quilts on the floor next to my side of the bed, and we told her she could sleep right there next to Mommy.

Jessica lay down on her “bed”, but all was not yet well. She was still scared, and she wasn’t able to settle down and go to sleep. (I would have taken her into my bed, but she is wiggly when she sleeps and usually keeps me awake or wakes me up repeatedly.) We reassured her that she was okay and that everything would be just fine, but it wasn’t enough. Jessica needed more.

“Can you sleep down here with me?” she asked in a small voice.

I thought about it for a second and decided that I was willing to sacrifice my sleep if that was what she needed. “Sure I can,” I said. That way, I figured, at least my husband would still get a good night’s sleep.

As I sat down next to Jessica and began to straighten out the covers over us, she said, “I’ll be able to sleep now because you’re here.” Sure enough, we lay down together, and within a minute or two, she was fast asleep.

I lost some sleep that night, but I gained a precious memory. I also gained some neat insight into exactly what Jesus did for us.

Just as Jessica needed someone down on the floor with her, we human beings needed Someone down here on earth with us. So, knowing our need, Jesus took on human form and came “down here”. But as incredible as that is, that He would be willing to do that, there’s even more to it. You see, His coming makes a huge difference in our daily lives, not just in our eternal destiny.

Remember how once I was down on the floor with her, Jessica said she could sleep, and how she was able to immediately fall asleep and stay comfortably sleeping the rest of the night? It’s like that with us. Jesus’ presence down here with us (now in the form of His Holy Spirit) means that we can feel loved, protected, and secure.

How much of a difference would that make in our daily life if we truly grasped that? Probably more than you might think.

If we just realized how much Jesus loves us, we could stop demanding that others fulfill our need for love. If we understood how powerful Jesus is, we would know that nothing can touch us outside of what He permits and to the extent that He permits. Knowing that we’re completely loved and fully protected, we could then rest easier, not just at night, but all day long. Better yet, all life long. We wouldn’t have to worry about—well, anything. We wouldn’t have to try to use others to get our needs met. We could turn all our concerns over to Someone Who is infinitely more capable than we are of dealing with what needs to be dealt with, and we could be at peace.

So if all this is really available to us, why don’t we take advantage of it?

Because we don’t really understand what Jesus has done for us.

Most of us know that Jesus took the punishment we deserved for our sins, so that we didn’t have to. We understand that when we die, we’ll go to heaven instead of hell. What we don’t really comprehend is how much of a difference His presence with us makes in the meantime.

I didn’t really do anything big for Jessica that night. I was just there. That was all she needed.

Really, that’s all we need, too. To know that Jesus is here and that we can rest in Him. Precious mom, if you didn’t know this before, now you do.

“Jesus, we’re okay now. Because You’re here.”

Matthew 1:23—Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.

Stylish Accessories

Megan Breedlove November 19, 2012 0Comment

I’m currently on the lookout for a semi-narrow black belt I can wear with a couple long tops I recently bought. In order to achieve the look I want, it must be neither too narrow nor too chunky. And in order to achieve the budget I want, it must be reasonably priced.

Yet the belt isn’t the point of either outfit. The point of the first one is a long, red sweater; the point of the second is a soft, black-and-white draped kind of top. In both cases, the belt is merely an accessory.

I’ve been thinking, as we head into this holiday season with Thanksgiving just around the corner and Christmas not too long after, that we often treat God as a sort-of accessory to our holidays rather than the main point. It’s like the main point of Thanksgiving is family, turkey, and football, with a little bit of God thrown in so we have someone to thank for all our stuff. Likewise, the point of Christmas seems to be the decorations and the presents, with a little bit of Jesus thrown in so we can feel good about having remembered the true “reason for the season” in the midst of the shopping frenzy or before we rip into the wrapping paper.

And this year, my heart is grieved. I’m grieved that we don’t care more about God all year round. I’m grieved we have to make it a point to remember Jesus at His birthday because we’re so distracted by all the stuff. I’m grieved that we act like He is the accessory to our celebrations rather than the focal point.

Although when I think about it, I’m not surprised. That’s because God isn’t the focal point of our life the rest of the year, so why would He the main focus during the holidays? Often, we live our lives with our focus on other people, including ourselves, with God as a benevolent genie in the sky we can invoke when we need some plan of ours blessed or some request granted. Or maybe we spend the rest of the year being mad at Him for something He’s done or failed to do, so we’re sure not going to let Him intrude on our holiday celebrations.

Precious mom, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. God is the point of everything, not the accessory to it. He is the One Who created all things and continuously upholds them by the word of His power (Hebrews 1:3), including you and me. He wants to be our life, not be part of our life, as if the main point of our life is something other than Him.

So yes, enjoy the time with family and friends this holiday season. Enjoy the food. Enjoy the gifts! Just make sure that you remember they’re not the point, and they never were. God is the point and always has been. Not just at the holiday season, but all year round.

Hebrews 1:3a—The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word.

What Isn’t There

Megan Breedlove November 12, 2012 2Comments

On one wall of my kitchen hangs a dry erase board. It’s terribly handy for keeping track of things or leaving notes for one another. My kids think it’s also great for drawing on.

This morning, Jessica was sitting on the counter drawing on my board. “Look, Mommy!” she said. “Look at the kitty I drew.”

I looked at the board and saw nothing but blue scribbles. I don’t mean that she had drawn poorly. I mean she had literally scribbled in wide swaths across the board.

“Uh…” I said.

“Look at the erased part,” Jessica said.

I tried again to see what she wanted me to see, and suddenly, I saw it. In the midst of the blue scribbles were some eraser marks, as if she had taken the corner of the eraser and used it like a marker to create (by erasing) a drawing in the midst of the scribbles. And sure enough, when I looked at the erased parts, the drawing of a kitty was clear.

“I see it!” I said excitedly, and Jessica smiled.

It’s understandable that I didn’t see the kitty right away. When you’re asked to look at something someone has drawn, you usually look at what is there rather than what isn’t.

The only problem is, sometimes what isn’t there is what you’re supposed to see.

We moms are experts at seeing what is there in front of us. The messy house, the misbehavior, the logistics of having to get all the kids ready to go somewhere—we see those, all right. But do we see what isn’t there?

Right now, as I write, my 8-month-old son Timmy is pulling up on my desk chair. That’s what is there. What isn’t there is his newborn cry, his blinking bewilderedly at a world he can barely see, or his wobbly attempts to push himself up when he’s lying flat on his stomach. Those things don’t happen anymore because he’s grown out of them.

But I haven’t. I still remember cuddling him against my chest when he was fresh and new, only seconds old. I miss some of the things that no longer happen, even though I rejoice that Timmy is growing as God meant him to.

Other things that are no longer here, I don’t miss. For example, I still need to discipline my children when they’ve done something wrong (obviously). But the discipline issues have changed. This morning, I was frustrated about a particular issue with my oldest daughter, Ellie. This issue does indeed need to be dealt with, because it’s here. But what’s not here anymore is her tattling. She’s grown past that, thank God. She’s learned how to handle things in a more mature way.

The point is simply this: sometimes we need to see what’s not there as well as what is. Even though enjoying present moments is important, it’s also valuable to remember pleasant memories that have gone before. We can give God thanks and praise not only for what’s happening now, but for what’s been happening all along.

We also need to remember the negative things that were once here but no longer. It’s easy to focus on all the things we’re dealing with in the present, but it’s also helpful and encouraging to remember all the things we no longer have to deal with that once seemed like they would be endless. Yes, we’re still working on plenty of areas, but we’ve conquered even more.

Ultimately, the purpose of remembering—whether lovely things that resulted in precious memories, or not-so-lovely things that have ceased to happen—is to turn our eyes to God. You see, He is always at work, sometimes behind the scenes, sometimes out in front. Nothing stays the same forever, and someday, some of those pleasant moments you now enjoy will have moved on, to be replaced by something else. Likewise, the things you struggle with now will be only memories.

So, yes, live in the moment. Enjoy what’s going on, or deal with it, as the case may be. But don’t forget to see what isn’t there. Sometimes it’s just as important as what is.

John 5:17—Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working.”

Badder and Badder

Megan Breedlove November 5, 2012 0Comment

Last night, I took my four older children to a friend’s house for a playdate. Her 6-year-old daughter is my 6-year-old’s BFF, and her son is friends with my older son and daughter. All the kids get along together, and it’s always a fun and relaxing time for my friend and me to chat.

We were standing in the kitchen catching up on each other’s lives and finishing preparing supper when Lindsey limped in, dragging her right leg. Her pants were pulled up above a quarter-sized mildly pink spot on her knee. I could immediately tell that whatever had happened was not the grievous injury the limping would seem to indicate, but I was curious. “What happened?” I asked.

“I bonked my knee on that thing that’s next to the couch,” Lindsey said.

“The ottoman?” my friend asked.

“I guess that’s what it’s called,” Lindsey said.

I peered at her knee. “Looks like you’ll be okay,” I said.

I was eventually able to convince Lindsey to return to her play. For a few minutes, that is. A short time later, she returned to the kitchen, still limping. “My knee is hurting badder and badder,” she said.

“It’ll do that,” I said. “Your knee will start feeling worse when you walk funny on it and put stresses on it in a way it wasn’t meant to take.”

Hmm. Sounds like life, doesn’t it? When we put stresses on ourselves in ways we were never meant to, we make life much more difficult than it has to be.

It’s true that some stresses are unavoidable. For example, being a mom brings a certain amount of stress that you really can’t avoid and will have to cope with if you don’t want to go crazy or get burned out. But a lot of times, we moms put more stress on ourselves than what is strictly necessary.

One primary way we do this is by believing the lie that we have to be perfect. Oh, we say we don’t believe that, but our actions show that we do. When the cupcakes little Johnny was supposed to take to school don’t turn out right, or we forget to put the birthday party invitations in the mail, or little Suzy can’t find her favorite shirt because we haven’t done laundry in far too long, we can come down pretty hard on ourselves. What we would excuse as an understandable mistake in someone else seems totally inexcusable when we’re the person making the mistake.

Another way we make things too hard is by heaping unwarranted guilt on ourselves. Whether our misdeed is yelling at our children when they didn’t deserve it, taking the kids through a drive-through somewhere six nights in a single week, or forgetting to go to the school play, we heap guilt on ourselves, and that voice in our head that tells us we’re not a good enough mom cranks up the volume.

I haven’t met a mom yet who says she never struggles with this. It’s completely, totally normal.

It’s also completely, totally sinful.

Whoa, what? Say that again. Sinful?

Yep. Having standards different from God’s is sin.

But doesn’t God expect perfection?

Moral perfection, yes. But there are certain kinds of mistakes that are not sin because they are simply mistakes. Baking the cupcakes at the wrong temperature so that they turn crispy is not sin; it’s a simple mistake. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect in these non-moral kinds of ways. So when we act like anything less than perfection is unacceptable, we are holding to standards that are different from God’s. We are sinning.

When we make the kind of mistake that is an actual sin, such as speaking harshly to a child in anger, then yes, we do need to repent. We need to hold to the same standard God does, that any kind of sin is unacceptable. The problem comes when we act like we must continue to pay a penalty for our offense by beating ourselves up with our guilt even after we’ve repented and sought forgiveness. We must not repeatedly resurrect our offense and rub our emotions raw with it. When we do that, we’re saying that God’s grace only goes so far. It’ll get us into heaven, but until then, we have to live in misery. That’s completely opposite from God’s standard of full, complete, and immediate forgiveness.

Precious mom, do you hold standards that are different from God’s? Ask Him to show you where you are requiring something more or different from what He requires of you. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself that God wouldn’t put on you. It’ll only cause you to limp longer than you have to.

Psalm 103:12—As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

November 2012

Because You’re Here

Stylish Accessories

What Isn’t There

Badder and Badder

You Missed

Priorities

I Wouldn’t Do That

Little Things

8 Seconds