10 New Year’s Resolutions for Christian Moms
Megan Breedlove
What are your New Year’s resolutions? Share them in the comments below.
2013
Mall Treasure Hunt
During the Advent season, the kids and I do various special activities all meant to help us focus on Jesus and His birth. One of the kids’ favorite activities is the mall treasure hunt.
I print out an identical sheet of paper for each child with pictures of things like candy canes, Santa, wreaths, stars, and presents. Then, we go to the mall with papers and pencils, pens, or crayons in hand.
When we get there, each child begins looking for the things pictured on the paper and crossing them off as they are found. All of them are usually pretty easy to find except one—the last picture on the paper. That’s because it’s a picture of the Baby Jesus.
As you can imagine, it’s always more difficult to find the Baby Jesus at the mall (they’re not allowed to “cheat” by going into the Hallmark store and looking at the ornaments) than any of the other items. That fact has led us to some great questions and discussions as we answer those questions.
Why is it so hard to find the Baby Jesus at the mall? Why is it so much easier to find Santa? Why don’t people want the Baby Jesus there like they want Santa?
But these questions aren’t the only point of the treasure hunt. That’s because there is more to teaching our children about Jesus than simply decrying the fact that Christmas is too commercial, or that Santa is more welcome than Jesus in many places. The real practicality of the discussions comes from the following questions:
Is Jesus welcome in our home? Is He welcome in our hearts? What can we do to show both Him and others that He is welcome here?
The answers to this second set of questions are what I want my children to take away from our Advent activity. I don’t want them merely to remember that they didn’t find the Baby Jesus again this year; I want them to make it a habit to evaluate their hearts to determine whether Jesus is truly welcome, and to consider how they can show Him and others that He is.
Have you ever thought about these questions? About, first of all, whether Jesus is welcome in your home and your heart? Jesus isn’t just a character we use for basing Christmas on; He’s the very Son of God, and as such, He deserves to be welcome. But have you ever welcomed Him into your heart and life?
If you have, that’s wonderful. If not, tell Him that He’s welcome now. Tell Him you want Him to make His home with you and be found with you whenever people are looking for Him. In fact, one of His names is Emmanuel, meaning “God with us”. Is He with you? Have you shown Him that He’s welcome?
Think about it, mom. What can you (and your children) do to welcome Him? Why not make sure you’re doing it this Christmas?
Matthew 1:23—”Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). (ESV)
What do you do to show Jesus and others that He is welcome in your life and home? Share in the comments below
Digging In
Yesterday morning, I took Lindsey sledding. (The other kids didn’t want to go.) This is a big deal for us, because we have sledding weather exactly…well, almost never. But a few days ago, we had an ice storm, and now the ground is covered with ice, and has been for the past few days.
So Lindsey and I went to our favorite park, where there’s a hill that’s just perfect for sledding. We took along a cardboard box, since we don’t own sleds (almost nobody down here does). When we got there—driving slowly and carefully all the way—we managed to cross the icy street on foot and made it through the park to the bottom of the hill.
There, we picked up a large piece of cardboard from among the several that previous sledders had left behind, knowing it would be better than our small box. Carefully, we trudged to the top of the hill.
Walking to the top of a small hill might not sound like such a big deal. But it was, because remember, the ground was covered not in snow but in ice. Walking uphill on smooth, glassy ice is a next-to-impossible task.
We had to step in the places where people who had gone before us had broken through the ice slightly as they trudged uphill. Placing our feet in these small depressions allowed us to dig into the ice better and gave us the ability to make it to the top.
Once we were at the top of the hill, Lindsey took the first turn down, perched on our piece of cardboard from someone’s old television box. I took the next turn, a treat I hadn’t had in almost thirty years. Then it was Lindsey’s turn, then mine again, as I demonstrated how to slide down without turning sideways and getting dumped off.
For the rest of the time, I stood at the top of the hill and watched Lindsey slide down and climb back up to do it all again. Coming up carrying the cardboard was hard for her, and each time, I watched her try to find places for her feet where she could really dig in, as we’d had to do on our first ascent
And I wondered what you and I do, as moms, to dig into the spiritual hills we have to climb.
The problem is that sometimes we don’t do anything to dig in, and partway up, we slide back down again we don’t have solid footing. Or we do fine digging in for awhile, but then we hit a patch where we can’t figure out how to dig in, and down we go.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all faced challenges in our lives that we’ve tried to overcome, and sometimes we’ve been more successful than others at reaching the top.
What makes the difference between making it to the summit and getting stranded halfway up (or sliding a few feet or even all the way back down again) is whether or not we dig in.
It’s obvious how to dig in on an icy hill. You use your feet and maybe your hands, and up you go. It’s actually equally obvious how to dig in on life’s figurative hills, because we all know what we’re supposed to do. Read our Bibles. Pray. Attend church. Seek Christian fellowship. Confess our sins and ask forgiveness.
The problem is that sometimes we don’t do those things, because we don’t understand how vital it is to dig in.
After all, if you can get to the top of the hill by yourself, there’s no reason to dig in, right? The only reason to dig in is if you need the help. But let me tell you, my friends, we all need it. We are sadly mistaken if we think we don’t particularly need to dig in because we can make it on our own. God hasn’t designed us that way, and there’s not a single one of us who can make it to the top without prayer, Bible study, and all those other things we mentioned (and then some).
Make no mistake about it, you are on a slippery hill. Maybe the going seems easy for now, but you could hit an icy patch any second, and when that happens, you’d better be dug in before you hit it unless you want to wind up at the bottom.
What are you doing to dig in, before you hit an icy patch? Will you make it up the hill?
1 Corinthians 10:12—Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. (ESV)
Fences
This past Saturday, my husband went out to mow the yard. Yes, it was November 30, but because we live in Texas, the grass keeps growing, and the yard has to be mowed periodically, even during what passes for winter. So out he went.
The kids, of course, wanted to go out and play since Daddy was back there. I gave them permission, and they ran outside toward the swing set and our large backyard.
There came a point where my husband had to unlock and open the back gate in our fence and mow a narrow strip of grass between our fence and the alley. As he was doing so, Lindsey came running up to him, begging to be allowed out in the alley. “Pretty please?” she pleaded.
My husband said yes. It’s not a well-trafficked area (we hardly ever have vehicles coming through our alley), and besides, he was going to be right there. Lindsey bounded out past our back fence, exulting, “I’ve never been out here before. This is great!”
She had a grand time playing beyond the boundaries of our fence. And as I’ve said, she was safe.
On the other hand, when you and I go not beyond the boundaries of our yards but beyond God’s boundaries, are not nearly so safe. In fact, we are guaranteed to be in danger.
God has fenced off certain areas of life from us, knowing that on the other side lurk sin, danger, and death. But sometimes, we ignore the fences (in other words, His commandments) that He’s put up, and we blithely venture beyond them.
“This is great!” we exclaim. “I’m having so much fun!”
But make no mistake about it: this kind of fun brings consequences. Yes, sin appears to be fun for awhile (Satan is well capable of making sin appear fun and exciting, so that people will want to commit it), but it’s only a matter of time before the consequences come crashing in.
Sometimes, those consequences will be obvious, such as broken relationships or even getting arrested. Other times, they will be less obvious, when they don’t seem to come immediately or when the consequences are spiritual distance between ourselves and God.
But there will be some kind of consequences. Oh, yes, there will be.
And that is why God has warned us to keep out of certain areas and away from certain activities. Not because He’s a killjoy, but because He wants to keep us away from danger. Not because He wants to take all the fun out of life, but because He wants to spare us from the sorrow that sin ultimately brings.
We make a terrible mistake when we assume that God’s got it backwards—that the stuff He has forbidden is what will make us truly happy, or that we really won’t be harmed by it like He’s said He will.
Eve would have understood. When Satan, disguised as a serpent, was trying to tempt her to eat the forbidden fruit, he said, “Did God really say you’ll be harmed by it?” Eve began to doubt God. She made her choice, and the rest is history.
You and I have the chance not to pass that history on to our own children. Yes, we all bear a sin nature now, including our precious kids. But what we don’t have to pass down is the idea that God doesn’t know what He’s talking about and is merely out to destroy our fun. Instead, we can show our children what it looks like to remain willingly within God’s boundaries, and what kind of joy that brings—not the least of which is joy knowing that you are exactly where God wants you.
Is there something with which you’re out playing in the back alley? Return to the yard. Come back inside the fence. Repent, which means to tell God you’re sorry and acknowledge that you never should have been outside the yard in the first place and won’t go back. That’s where your joy will begin—in being forgiven and restored to fellowship with the Lover of Your Soul.
Not in playing beyond the boundaries.
Psalm 119:9-10—With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
Fame
A few days ago, I returned from a trip to California. I had gone there to meet the team at my publishing house and to discuss some publicity strategies for my upcoming book (Chaotic Joy; coming April 1, 2014). The most fun aspect of the trip was getting to meet the eople I had formerly known only by name or through email. The second best aspect—which was right up there with the first—was that I had gone by myself. In other words, no children.
An all-expenses paid trip to California by myself, no childcare duties involved. Ahhhhhh. I started looking forward to it the minute I heard about it. However, while I very much enjoyed the time alone, I also wished the team could have met my children. My children are great people, and I love showing them off, just like you do yours. Plus,it’s because of my children that I write what I do: books for moms. Therefore, people who know my children will get a deeper glimpse into who I am and what’s behind my writing.
I found out, though, that even though most of the staff there had never met my children (my editor had met Timmy once when he was 3 months old, because I had brought him to a writing conference she and I both attended), Timmy’s reputation had preceded him. I’m friends with some of the staff on Facebook, and I frequently post about Timmy on my personal page. So Timmy’s exploits were nothing new.
“How’s Timmy doing?” several people asked, knowing he was probably up to or into something.
But active toddler boys aren’t the only ones whose reputation precedes them. Sometimes ours precedes us, as well.
You and I may become well-known even to people who have never met us in person. People may have heard of us (whether for good or for ill) and be well aware of what kind of person we are—even if they’ve never seen us face-to-face. Our fame may go before us, causing them to expect us to be a certain type of person. Usually, this is no problem.
But we need to make sure we’re well-known for good things, not bad. We want to be known as the person who’s always gracious, not the person with the unpredictable temper. It’s much better to be known as the person with a kind word for everyone, as opposed to the person who’s so negative and critical that no one wants to be around her.
Friend, what’s your reputation?Is it something you’re glad to be known for?
If not, it’s never too late to begin building a new reputation. With God’s help, you can stop gossiping, or being harsh or negative, or being lazy. You can choose the reputation you want and work to make that happen. And the best part is that you don’t have to work alone. God will help you, because He wants you to be known for positive qualities even more than you do. He wants you to reflect well on Him and to bring glory to His name, which is hard to do if you’re known for less-than-positive traits.
So if you’re known for positive, God-honoring things, rejoice and give thanks to Him that He has enabled this to be so. If you’re known for the opposite, lay those things before Him and ask for His help to become known for things He would want you known for.
Ask Him to help you reflect the character of His Son, and to become known for that character. You can rest assured He will answer that prayer with a yes.
Proverbs 22:1—A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.
Calvin Who?
Teaching children is always an adventure. You never know what they’re going to say next.
The other day, I was teaching Ellie history (she is homeschooled). She had read a particular section of the chapter, and I was quizzing her about it. We came to one question where the answer was supposed to be Calvin Coolidge.
Oh, I know!” she said. “That’s Calvin, uh, Calvin What’s-his-name…I know! Calvin Klein!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Her error was easily corrected, as I explained who both men were and that she should have said Calvin Coolidge.
The fact that she got the two confused rather amused me. I found it funny that, when pressed to think of “Calvin’s” last name, she came up with the name of a clothing manufacturer instead of the name of our former President.
Getting an answer wrong in history class can be funny. What’s not so humorous, however—not at all, actually—is when we don’t know the right answer to other, more important questions.
As Christians, we are to live our lives in accordance with God’s standards. That means we have to know what those standards are. We need to be able to answer questions we’ll all encounter, such as Is it okay to be snarky to someone who made me mad? (No.) Is it okay to be kind only to the people I really like? (No.) Did God really mean that I need to be faithful to my marriage vows and loving to my husband and children? (Yes.)
So how are we going to know what the right answer is in a particular situation? It’s dangerous just to wait until the situation occurs and then go with whatever our emotions tell us is right. Emotions can be greatly deceptive, and we run a risk—sometimes a huge one—when we allow them to be the arbiters of what we should do.
Instead, we need to ingrain God’s answers to these questions into our minds, so that when the situation arises, we aren’t at a loss as to what’s the right thing to do. And the best way to know what God says in regards to the decisions we must make is to look at His revealed Word, the Bible.
In the Bible, God lays out for us all the principles we need in order to know what kind of conduct is right and pleases Him. He gives us all the answers to our moral questions. Do the kind thing. Do the loving thing. Put others first. Granted, He doesn’t always tell us exactly how to apply these principles in every situation we face. But He does give us these answers. When someone snaps at us, we already know what the answer is: we’re supposed to respond lovingly. All that’s left to do is ask God for the application. Exactly what does being loving look like in this situation?
Or when someone tempts us to sin, we know we’re supposed to flee temptation. We don’t have to ask whether or not that’s the right answer; we already know that it is. All we have to do is ask God what fleeing looking like in our particular situation.
Do you know what God says to us in His Word? Are you familiar with the principles He’s laid out in the Bible? Do you already know the answers He’s provided you even before you ask?
If not, you need to spend more time studying the pages of Scripture. God has provided answers to some of our most commonly asked questions, and you should want to know what those answers are. He’s provided solutions to some of our most frequent or irritating problems, and if you know what He’s said, you’ll be a lot better able to deal with them.
Yes, you might still have to ask Him for some specifics in how to apply His answers, but make sure you at least know what those answers are. By giving them to you, He’s given you a leg up on every situation you will ever face.
Take advantage of that.
Psalm 119:97— Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. (NIV)
The Monkey Pumpkin
The school’s contest rules were simple: get a pumpkin. Decorate it like a character from your favorite book. Do it by yourself.
The very day Lindsey brought home the note about the pumpkin decorating contest, she excitedly told me she wanted to enter. She would decorate her pumpkin like a monkey (of course), and the pumpkins would be displayed in the school library, “where everyone can see them.” Lindsey wanted to go buy pumpkin-decorating supplies immediately.
We weren’t able to go right then, but one weekend we did go to Wal-Mart to pick out a pumpkin, some paint, and some ribbon. Lindsey had already designed the pumpkin in her mind, and she intended for it to be painted brown, with brown construction paper ears, arms, legs, and a tail. The eyes, nose, and mouth would be painted on, and the monkey would have a bow on her head.
So we bought brown, black, and white paint and a spool of ribbon that was pink with white polka dots. “Can I start on my pumpkin as soon as we get home?” Lindsey wanted to know.
I said yes, and that’s what she did. She covered that pumpkin with brown paint, leaving space for the eyes, which she painted in later. She added a nose and mouth, taped on the bow, and then taped on arms, legs, and a tail. The whole thing took…well, not nearly as long as I thought it would.
And the results were…well, it was obvious Lindsey had followed the rules and made that pumpkin all by herself.
Yet Lindsey was fiercely proud of it. She loved that pumpkin, and she still does. She carried it carefully into the school and entered it in the contest. And even when it didn’t win (many of the pumpkins had obviously had parental help involved), she proudly brought it home to display.
Lindsey is dreading the day when her pumpkin begins to rot and we have to throw it away. She will grieve over the loss of that pumpkin. Because even though it wasn’t judged to be much by other people’s standards, it was hers, and to her, it was the greatest.
It’s kind of like how God sees us. He knows that not many of us are judged to be beautiful, talented, wealthy, or valuable by the world’s standards. But He loves us not based on what the world says about us, but based on the fact that He made us. We’re His, and He loves us. It’s that simple.
Your value as a person comes not from anything the world says about you or any contest you might win, but from the fact that you belong to God. When He looks at you, He doesn’t look at your outward appearance (beauty, fame, wealth, or talents) but at your heart. Is your heart right toward Him? Does His Holy Spirit live there? Do you love Him? Are you His? Then you are precious to Him.
It doesn’t matter what the world says. It doesn’t make a bit of difference whether or not you win or lose a particular contest. You are precious to God because you belong to Him.
1 Samuel 16:7—But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (NIV)
No Room for Clothes
This past weekend, our family took a trip to see my in-laws (“Grandma and Pampa”, as the kids call them). Friday was our day to pack and prepare for the trip, and when we do, even the kids help by packing some of their own things. I was working on one particular task when Jessica came into the room pulling her suitcase, which appeared stuffed to the gills.
“I finished packing my stuffed animals,” she said. “But now I don’t have any room for my clothes.”
“You have to pack your clothes first,” I said.
“Oh,” she said, turning to eye the suitcase as if trying to figure out how she could make both clothes and stuffed animals fit in there.
I didn’t blame her for wanting to fill her suitcase full of twenty or thirty of her favorite stuffed friends. As a child, I loved my stuffed animals too. The only problem was that stuffed animals can’t be allowed to take the place of clothes to wear.
You and I sometimes find ourselves in a situation similar to Jessica’s. We’ve filled our lives with good things, maybe even very good things, and that’s fine. But what’s not fine is when we allow the good things to crowd out the truly essential things.
We find time for soccer practice and Facebook, but we don’t find time for a daily time spent with God. Or we have time for our friends or favorite leisure pursuits, but we don’t have time to go to church on a regular basis.
In other words, we prioritize earthly things over cultivating our relationship with God.
Those earthly things may seem more urgent, but they usually aren’t. What could be more urgent than our connection to God? Yet we put virtually everything else in front of it, and things like a daily quiet time get pushed to the side, if they even happen at all.
But if we’re too busy to have a regular time with your Creator, we’re just plain too busy. When our plate is overloaded, something may have to give. But that something shouldn’t be our intimacy with God.
True, we may have to be creative in scheduling time to develop our relationship with Him. There will be days when we have to take time with Him where we can get it. But unless you and I make time spent with Him a priority, it’s probably not going to happen.
Moms, let’s get our priorities straight. Let’s not stuff our lives so full of the non-essentials or seeming essentials that we have no time left for what is truly essential. Let’s get first things first—and then, in the time that’s left over, we can schedule all those other things.
Let’s not let other things, even good ones, stuff our suitcases so full that there’s no room left for what we really need.
Psalm 73:25—Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (NIV)
Underneath
Two nights ago, my daughter attended her friend Darby’s birthday party. The guests were invited to come in costume, and Ellie thought she might want to be a cat. My husband took her shopping for a cat costume, but when they came home, Ellie was holding a Darth Vader mask and a black cape (she’s a huge Star Wars fan). “See, mom? I’m going to be Darth Vader!” Ellie proclaimed. “And underneath, I’m going to be Princess Leia.”
My husband had pointed out to Ellie that she wouldn’t feel like wearing her mask throughout the party and suggested that she take off the cape too and have another costume underneath. So Ellie decided to go with Princess Leia.
Ellie put on a flowing white dress she has that also has a small white cape to go with it. Then I braided her long blond hair into two braids, one on each side of her head, and wound each braid into a “cinnamon roll” shape above her ears. Ellie planned on showing up to the party in her Darth Vader costume, and then, when everyone guessed that she was Darth Vader, taking off her black accessories to reveal her Princess Leia costume underneath. She wanted to surprise everyone, and that was understandable. It’s fun to dress up as your favorite characters. And if you can throw a surprise into the mix, well, that’s even better.
What’s not so good is when, in real life, we put on an appearance for others that doesn’t match the real person underneath.
Usually, we do this because we’re afraid of letting our real selves be known. We fear that if people knew the real us, they wouldn’t like us. So we hide who we really are, putting on a false front that we hope will please others, in order to gain their acceptance. We keep our innermost feelings, thoughts, and beliefs to ourselves. And what happens then is that people may like or approve of our costume, but they don’t know who we really are underneath.
It’s true that sometimes, people will reject us if we displease them. We’ve all had the experience of being rejected by someone who determined we weren’t really what he or she were looking for. We weren’t good enough. Weren’t what he or she wanted.
For those of you who have experienced such painful rejection in the past and would like to talk more about it, just contact me through my website. I’ve been there too, and I understand what it’s like to be rejected. I also want to tell you that I’m sorry it happened to you. I know it hurts, and I’m sorry.
But there’s something else I want to tell you, too, something I’ve learned from my experiences of being rejected, and that’s this: there is one Person who will never reject you. That’s God.
Despite the fact that He knows exactly what you’re like (putting on a front never works with Him; He always knows better), He loves you. He’s chosen to love you and promised to be with you always.
Hard to believe? I know. It was hard for awhile for me to believe it, too. But as I’ve learned to love and trust Him more, and learned to absorb more of His love for me, I’ve also learned just how vast and deep that love is. It’s stronger than the worst things you or I have ever done. It’s deeper than anything we’ve been or failed to be. It’s limitless and unchanging, and it’s offered to the person we really are, not somebody we pretend to be.
With God, we never have to pretend. We never have to put on a costume and hope to be mistaken for someone else. We can be who we really are, and be confident that we will always find full acceptance and love in God, no matter what.
True, He doesn’t always love what we do, and He never accepts sin. But He always loves and accepts us.
It’s an incredible idea, one that it took me many years to wrap my mind around. But it’s true, because Scripture teaches it over and over. God loves us. He loves us. He loves us. The real us—the person we are underneath.
1 John 3:1—How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (NIV)
Hebrews 13:5b—God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (NIV)
Dressed for Church
Yesterday morning, as she does every Sunday morning, Lindsey (7.5 years old) got herself dressed for church. She chose a red and black plaid dress and her black shoes, and put them on. And then, she did her hair.
When I saw her, she had two ponytails, one on each side of her head. They weren’t quite smooth, and she had missed some hair in the back. Nonetheless, she was proud of having done her own hair.
I had a choice. I could either help her fix her hair, or I could let her leave it as it was. The first option would have produced better-looking hair. The second would have produced more self-confidence in Lindsey.
I chose to let her leave her hair as it was. That’s because her efforts were good enough for me. I was proud of her.
Why? Because she’d done her best.
It’s the same way God feels about us, moms. He knows that our fumbling efforts don’t produce near the results He could have produced. Yet He accepts our attempts with pride in us—if we’ve done our best.
Isn’t it great that God doesn’t demand that we be perfect in order for Him to be proud of us? He’s proud of you, and He’s proud of me—despite the fact that we’re not perfect.
Many times we as moms get the idea that we have to be a perfect mom, wife, woman, sister, or friend in order for God to be proud of us. If God’s perfect, we (incorrectly) reason, He won’t be proud of anything less than perfection.
Let’s be clear here. When we sin, God is not pleased. He is not proud. But when we do our best—when we put forth our best effort—He is both pleased and proud. In fact, He’s even willing to help us by giving us wisdom, strength, and comfort, so that we can do our best.
Have you ever stopped to think that God is proud of you? That if you’re truly doing the best you can, making no excuses but doing your best, He is really, really proud?
He’s proud of how you spoke kindly to your daughter despite the fact that she was getting on your last nerve. He’s proud of the way you got the living room clean, even though the whole house wasn’t clean. He’s proud of how you made that decision or got up repeatedly in the middle of the night with a sick child. He’s proud of—well, anything you did your best on.
So what does it mean to do your best? It means to do the most you can with what God has given you. It means to operate in His strength, taking advantage of His resources, for His glory.
If that’s how you usually operate, mom, you make God proud on a regular basis.
If it’s not, you can always change that. You can go before Him anytime and ask Him to help you make that a reality so that you can operate that way. Tell Him you want to make Him proud, and ask Him to help you do it.
And then bask in the warmth of knowing that your Daddy’s proud of you.
Colossians 3:23—Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.