January 2013

Fence Friends

Recently, two friends and I were eating lunch at Cracker Barrel. We had managed to avoid—for the moment, at least—the temptation to spend all our money in the general store part of the establishment, and we had been seated at a nice table by the window.

As we chatted, our conversation turned to relationships and how important they are to us as women. One of my friends, Linda, said she is good friends with her next door neighbor. She and her neighbor each like to go out into her own backyard, meet at the fence separating their properties, and chat about everything and nothing. “We’re ‘fence friends,’” Linda said.

“What a great title for a devotional!” I said. “I’m going to write one called ‘Fence Friends’ one day.”

So here it is, for Linda and for all of us.

Linda’s words stuck in my mind not just because of the great title, but because it sounded really neat to have a next-door neighbor you can meet up with like that and chat with about whatever strikes you.

Some of us may have ‘fence friends’ too. Others of us have friends like that, only they don’t live next door. Still others of us may be in a temporary situation where we don’t have a friend like that right now.

But whether or not we have a human ‘fence friend,’ if we know Jesus, we have a Friend who is far closer than our backyard fence. In fact, He lives in our hearts.

We don’t have to go to the back fence to meet Him. We can meet Him anywhere, anytime, because He’s closer than our next breath. That’s one of the greatest things about knowing Jesus: We get to have a permanent Best Friend who’s always available and always willing to chat with us about everything and nothing.

Yet most of us don’t take advantage of His friendship and nearness. We’d be far more likely to go out into the backyard to meet a human friend than to spend time talking with our Best Friend.

Maybe that’s because we don’t know how to pray. Maybe it’s because we can’t quite wrap our minds around the idea of Jesus’ being our Best Friend.

Whatever the reason, we never show up at the back fence, so the relationship withers. Not because He doesn’t know how to hold up His end, but because we don’t know how—or we know how and simply don’t do it.

Precious mom, if you don’t know Jesus, but you long for a Best Friend, I’d love to introduce you to Him. Everything you’ve ever wanted in a best friend, He’s that, and far more.

If you know Jesus, but you don’t know how to pray—well, I admit I’m still figuring this one out too. But I can share with you some of the things He’s taught me, and I will. I’ll also share some of the things I’ve learned about what it’s like for Jesus to be my Best Friend.

Next week, we’ll begin a series on getting to know Jesus, and I promise you, it’ll be about far more—and far less—than merely performing certain actions. It’ll be about getting to know the Lover of our souls, and what it looks like to be best friends with Him.

I’d love to have a fence friend, but even better, I want to have Jesus. I bet you do too.

So I’ll see you next week.

John 15:15—“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

Be It Done for You

You know how sometimes when you’re reading the Bible, you read a story you’ve read or heard millions of times before, but all of a sudden God shows you something different from it?

Let me share with you the amazing thing He showed me when this happened to me recently.

I was studying my bible, and I came to Matthew 15, where a woman approaches Jesus and begs Him for healing for her daughter. Jesus tells her (I’m paraphrasing pretty heavily here) that He was sent to the Israelites, not to her people. On the surface of it, this sounds harsh, but it was really only Jesus’ way to delve into her faith. He wanted to see if she understood that he really was there for people of every nationality—that Christianity isn’t a “Jewish” thing only, but a “for the whole world” thing.

The woman passed the test. She replied that she knew that not all the Jews even wanted Him, but that she’d be glad to have Him. Of course, that may not be what commentators might say is the point of this passage, but that is how I took it.

But that’s not all. The “smack between the eyes” that I got from this passage comes from Jesus’ response, where He says, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.”

And I wondered, what would I get if Jesus were to say, “Be it done for you as you desire”?

I’d probably get things like well-behaved children, financial blessings, and good health. But is that it? I mean, are those really even the most important things?

If I knew that I would stand before Jesus and He would say “Be it done for you as you desire,” what would I ask Him for?

Before I go any farther, let me be absolutely clear that Jesus is not obligated to give us something just because we desire it. I’d like a vacation to Europe; He hasn’t given me that. You might like a new car or a bigger house or some other material possession. God’s not obligated to fulfill our requests unless, of course, they are in accordance with His will for us.

But the point is this: we ask too small. We ask for houses and health and money and cars. None of those things is bad in and of itself. But is that all we are asking for?

What about asking for spiritual victories? What about asking for victory over a sin with which we’ve been struggling? What about asking for our children not merely to behave but to develop a deep and enduring relationship with God?

Most of us are far more likely to thank God for a new car than we are for His forgiveness (which we need a whole lot more than we need that car). We’re more impressed with His material blessings, not His spiritual blessings; that’s why we spend more time praying about the material things.

What do we really want from Him? Stuff to make our lives easier and more pleasant.

What is He willing to give us? Far more.

So yes, ask for money to pay the bills or for your car to run or for your kids to stop bickering. Absolutely, ask for those things. But ask for the big things too.

We ask too small.

Matthew 15:28—Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” (ESV)

Mama’s Comin’

When I was single, and even when I was married with no children, going shopping and having it be a “treat” meant that I’d get to buy some nonessentials and go places I didn’t have to go.

After we began having children, a shopping “treat” meant getting to go to absolutely essential places, but all by myself.

Now that our first four children are older but that we have a baby, a “treat” is getting to go to essential places with only the older four, who can at least get into and out of the van by themselves and fasten their own seatbelts.

One particular day, I was enjoying the treat of doing errands with only the three girls. (Kenny was in school, and Timmy was at home with Phil.) As we were leaving our last errand to return home, I received a text from my husband that said simply this: “Timmy wants you.”

I knew what that meant. You see, I still nurse Timmy a few times a day, and apparently Timmy had woken up from a nap and decided that right now should be one of those times. One of the girls asked if we could stop somewhere on the way home, and I told her that we couldn’t because Timmy needed me.

As we neared home, I could imagine poor Timmy getting more and more upset, not understanding why Mama wasn’t coming.

“Mama’s comin’, Timmy,” I said out loud, wishing I could make Timmy hear my words and know how close at hand his rescue was.

Wow, I thought, I wonder if that’s how Jesus feels toward us?

There are times when we cry out for rescue and it doesn’t immediately come. So we continue to cry out, and part of our desperation comes from not understanding why God isn’t helping us right now and not knowing how long we have to wait?

But how much different would our waiting be if we realized Daddy’s comin’? Because He is. Oh, He is.

The disciples would have understood how we felt. Once they were crossing the Sea of Galilee in their boat, and a great storm came up. In fact, this storm was so violent that they were in danger of sinking. Then Matthew 14:25 says, “At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water.”

Did you catch that? Four o’clock in the morning. Not “right when the storm started” or even “a few minutes after the storm started”, but hours later.

I’m sure the disciples wondered where Jesus was. I’m sure they thought about how they really could have used an extra set of hands to bail water. But He doesn’t show up until they’ve been terrified for hours.

Likewise, Mary and Martha would have identified with us too. Their brother Lazarus was sick, so they sent for Jesus, knowing He could perform healing miracles. But Jesus didn’t come, and Lazarus died. Then Jesus shows up a few days later. Both of the women tell Him separately, “If you had been here, Lazarus wouldn’t have died.” Or, to paraphrase, “You could have come and You didn’t. Why didn’t You? This is Your fault.”

There are several more instances in the Bible where Jesus seems to show up late, but I won’t list them all. The point is this: even when it seems like He’s late, even when we wonder why He hasn’t showed up yet, we need to remember that He’s coming, and that He has a plan.

And, because Jesus is the exact representation of the Father, we know that this is true of God the Father, too.

For us, as His children, it’s not a matter of if Daddy’s coming, but when. We can be absolutely confident that He’s going to show up and make all things right at the point He knows is perfectly best.

Many times, He waits well past the point where we would think it “best”. Usually, we consider it best if He shows up right now. Sometimes, He does that. But we never have to wonder, as Timmy might have wondered, if someone’s going to come meet our needs. We know Someone’s coming.

True, some things might not be made right until heaven. God doesn’t promise that we’ll never suffer on this earth. But He does promise that we will never wait endlessly, only to have Him never show up at all.

He’s coming. In His timing, but He’s coming.

What are you facing right now, precious mom? Your Rescuer is on the way. You may not know how far off he is, but You know He’s on the way.

Rest assured that Daddy’s comin’.

1 Samuel 2:10—God’s enemies will be blasted out of the sky, crashed in a heap and burned. God will set things right all over the earth, he’ll give strength to his king, he’ll set his anointed on top of the world! (MSG)

Last Dollar

I don’t remember what Lindsey bought herself with the first $14 of her $15 in Christmas money.

But I’ll never forget what she did with the last dollar.

Shortly before Christmas, each of our children received $15 cash from a beloved aunt and uncle who live nearby. Naturally, each of the four older children had plans for the money. Ellie wanted to save hers toward a video game she’s been wanting. The other three all had particular toys they wanted, and they asked me to take them to Wal-Mart to buy their chosen items.

We had fun shopping together, and Kenny, Lindsey, and Jessica spent their money. Kenny and Jessica gave their money to me, and I purchased their toys along with the other things I was buying. Lindsey, however, wanted to pay for hers herself, and she did so. She then took her dollar in change and her toy, and we all headed for the doors.

A few yards from the exit, I heard Lindsey say, “Oh, I know what to do with my last dollar!”

I turned to see her grabbing the dollar from her purse and folding it up. She stood facing a 3-foot-tall metal and plastic container with a sign on it announcing that donations would go to the children’s hospital in our area. The children and I are familiar with this container and its purpose; they love putting coins in it and watching the coins spiral downward through the funnel and into the bottom of the bin.

This time, as I watched, Lindsey stuffed her dollar into the slot in the container made for that purpose. “There!” she said happily, ready to go now.

I gave her a hug. “That was kind,” I said quietly.

I was overwhelmed at the generosity of Lindsey’s sweet heart. And I knew that had I been in her position, with only a dollar left in money I could spend on whatever I wanted, I would not have given it away. Yet she did, and it made her happy.

That’s the kind of girl she is. She is happiest when doing something for others. And I wonder…am I that kind of mom? Am I happiest when doing something for my children?

Sometimes, the answer is no. Often, I’m happiest when I get to surf Facebook without interruption or when I get a good night’s sleep—not when I give of myself in order to meet my children’s needs. When I have extra time and sleep and fun—not when I give my last dollar of energy, creativity, and stamina.

Why is that? If it really is more blessed to give than to receive, as Jesus said, why is it so easy for us as moms to be happiest when we’re receiving instead of giving?

It’s because we look for happiness in the wrong place.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to have free time to do with as we wish. And all moms need physical rest and time to mentally and emotionally recharge. There’s nothing wrong with desiring those things.

Where we go wrong is when we think those are the things that will bring us the greatest happiness.

You see, when Jesus said that it’s more blessed to give than to receive, He meant that true happiness isn’t found in receiving things for others but in pouring ourselves out on others’ behalf.

I’m not really sure where we got the idea that serving others can’t make us happy, unless that idea came from Satan. Granted, the service itself may not be fun or exciting, but we can choose to be happy anyway. If we buy into the idea that true happiness will primarily come not when we’re fulfilling God’s plan—serving our children—but when they leave us alone, we’re making a serious mistake with long-term consequences.

Moms, I don’t entirely understand how this works yet. I’m still working it out in my own life. But I do know that I believe what Jesus said—and that if what He said is true, which it is, some of my attitudes need to change.

What about you?

Mark 10:45—“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Acts 20:35—In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ “