March 2013

Overcome by Vegetables

Being that our thirteen-month-old son Timmy is as fearless as he is, and being that he has already performed many daredevil feats from which he somehow miraculously escaped unharmed, my husband and I have asked each other a few times, “So, how long do you suppose it will be before we end up in the ER with Timmy?”

That question was answered Friday night. Timmy came walking into the kitchen, tripped over his own feet, and fell face-first onto a large can of green beans. The rim of the can caught him just above the bridge of his nose. Timmy cried heartily for at least sixty seconds, whereupon he got over it. I knew, however, that his cut required stitches.

So I changed his diaper and put him in a fuzzy sleeper (good hospital wear). I then loaded up all five kids in the van and took Timmy to the ER, where he got four stitches in his poor little face. If Timmy grows up with an aversion to green beans, we’ll know why.

The point of this story, other than the fact that green beans aren’t as innocent as they look, is this: despite all his activity, despite all the things that should have done him in long before now, Timmy was overcome by…a can of green beans. Something so simple led to his defeat.

Often it’s the same with us, isn’t it? We get all the big things right, but it’s the “little” things that trip us up.

We don’t commit adultery, rob a bank, or murder anyone. But we lie, speak critically, or gossip.

It’s not a temptation for me to rob a bank. I don’t have any trouble refraining from that sin, because I don’t want to commit it in the first place. But being critical? A temptation to which I give in all too often.

True, some sins may have “bigger” consequences than others. But even what we think of as the “little” sins—the ones that don’t really matter much—can ruin our relationships with God and with others and cause us additional consequences we never intended.

Any sin we commit is an offense against our relationship with God as well as against God Himself. God doesn’t just care about the “biggies”; He cares about all sin, even our favorite sins that we think aren’t that big a deal. He doesn’t like them. In fact, He hates them. Yet we too often excuse them or don’t even call them for what they are.

For most of us, the sins that slip in between us and God aren’t going to be things the world would care about. The things that take us down aren’t going to be things that make the front page of the paper.

No, the sins that bring about our downfall are much more likely to be something that looks like not that big a deal at first.

Something like a can of green beans sitting on the floor.

1 Corinthians 10:12—Therefore let anyone who thinks that [she] stands take heed lest [she] fall. (ESV)

Overacheiver

At one point when my children were younger, I had three of them enrolled in a Mother’s Day Out program for two days per week. They attended class on Mondays and Wednesdays from 9 to 2. Each Monday after I picked them up, we would go to the library, where each child got to choose the number of books corresponding to his or her age and then got a piece of candy from the nice librarian at check-out.

One particular Monday, it was a gray, rainy day. I could barely get inside the church where their program was held without getting soaked. I really didn’t feel like trying to take four kids to the library while keeping everyone dry.

So I entered Lindsey’s classroom with the intention of telling the kids that we wouldn’t make it to the library that day. Another mother was already in the room picking up her son. As Lindsey came to greet me, this other mom knelt down to zip up her son’s jacket.

“Looks nasty out there,” the kids’ teacher said, glancing outside, where the rain was beating against the windows.

And this other mother said to her son, “That’s right, we’re not going to be able to play outside today. So we’re going to go home, make a tent in the living room, and have hot cocoa and marshmallows instead. Won’t that be fun?”

Overachiever, I thought. Right on the heels of that negativity, I realized, There’s no reason to be negative. I could have done the same thing she did.

There are two points I want to make.

The first is this: my immediate reaction to the other mom’s words was negative. Instead of thinking, Wow, what a great idea! I thought, Oh, come on. Now I feel guilty about my decision. In other words, I had taken the easy way out, and I resented someone who was doing what I (here’s the second point) could just as well have done. Like she did, I could have turned the circumstances into an opportunity for fun.

It’s not necessarily bad to scrap plans for the library when the weather is nasty. But I wish I had had that other mom’s perspective. I wish I had realized on my own that the thing that messed up my plans was the very thing that could help me create some really special fun. I wish I had looked at changed circumstances as an opportunity rather than a loss.

If I had, I never would have compared her actions to mine and felt like I came up short. But whether or not I shared her creativity, I should never have had negative thoughts about the great idea she had. Her idea had nothing to do with me, and no, it didn’t make me look bad (even though it felt like it did). There was no reason to feel like I looked bad just because she planned something more creative, and even if I had, there was no reason to resent her for coming up with something I hadn’t thought of.

I’m not proud of my attitude, because it stems from pride. I want to be the best mommy. I don’t want to feel like my kids are getting the short end of the stick because someone else’s mommy plans better fun. I don’t want to feel “less than” some other mommy because she’s more creative or more fun or has more energy or whatever. And the thing of it is, I don’t have to. Neither do you.

There’s absolutely no reason to compare ourselves to other moms. Sure, if another mom has a good idea, we might want to incorporate that into our day or our family. But being down on ourselves just because our weakness compared unfavorably to someone else’s strength? Ridiculous. Not how God wants us to spend our time.

You see, He made each of us the way we are. He granted some abilities to me that you don’t have, and some abilities to you that I don’t have. He made some of us better at creativity and others of us better at organization. God doesn’t want us to compare ourselves to some other mom, because she is not the standard He has for our lives anyway.

Learn from her, yes. Imitate her? Maybe. But compare ourselves to her? No.

I’ve learned to be more creative over the years. If I were to find myself in the same situation today, I might very well have thought of something fun to do at home. But even if I hadn’t, I would no longer feel bad just because another mom thought of something I didn’t.

That’s because I now know that what makes me a good mom has nothing to do with how I compare to another mom or whether or not I do things the same way she does. I’m a good enough mom if I’m the best mom I can be—not if I’m someone else.

1 Samuel 17:38-39—Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul, “because I am not used to them.” So he took them off. (NIV)

That’s Our Kenny

Recently, all of our family except Timmy went to see Kenny’s second grade program for school. (If you’ve been following this blog or FB author page lately, you will know why we chose to leave Timmy home with a babysitter.) We took our seats in the gym and waited for the program to start. Soon, the kids filed into the gym. “Look, there’s Kenny!” Ellie said.

Kenny didn’t see us right away, though he was obviously scanning the gym for us. When he saw us, his face lit up, and he smiled. Not a huge smile, just an “I’m really excited that you’re here, but I’ve gotta be cool” smile.

Once they stood in place on risers on the stage, the students sang several songs. I was proud of my son, of course. He looked great in his school uniform—handsome and way too grown up. I was also amused by him.

You see, Kenny is an enthusiastic kid. When he is excited about something, he participates wholeheartedly. And so it was that while the other students were standing quietly singing the songs, Kenny was busy doing accompanying hand motions, which he was making up on the spot.

It was obvious he was making them up, because no one else was doing any kind of motions at all. Everybody else just stood there doing the expected thing. Kenny, on the other hand, had to express his exuberance. “That’s our Kenny,” my husband and I agreed.

Here’s the point: in the Christian life, you and I are either all those other kids, or we’re Kenny.

Most of us are far too reserved when it comes to our relationship with Jesus. Instead of being crazy in love with Him, we settle for quietly appreciating Him from a distance. Instead of delighting in walking with Him, we do it out of a sense of duty.

Where’s our delight? Why do our emotions not get caught up in dancing with the Lover of our Souls? Why do we just stand there when we could instead be participating like crazy?

I’m talking about more than just whether or not your raise your hands during worship (both are fine) or whether you are an exuberant, outgoing person by nature. Even those of us who are naturally reserved can wholeheartedly delight in Jesus. What’s important is not the outward expression of that delight. God doesn’t care very much about that. What God cares about is what’s in our heart toward Him.

It’s possible that all those second graders were enjoying the program as much as Kenny was. God’s not any more pleased with Kenny than He is with any other student. He knows which students were participating wholeheartedly and which were only there because their parents made them go.

Likewise, He knows which of us Christians are participating enthusiastically because He can see into our hearts. He sees much deeper than however we do or don’t express our faith outwardly with physical gestures. He even sees deeper than however frequently we attend church services, read our Bibles, or give money to worthy causes.

None of those things matters a whit in comparison to what’s in our heart. That’s because God doesn’t need our service. He doesn’t even desire our service, if it comes from wrong motives. What He wants is our whole heart, and He will be content with nothing less.

How much of your heart does God have? How enthusiastically do you walk with Him?

If the answer isn’t good, go before Him right now, confess your sin, and ask Him to change your heart. Ask Him to help you dance in your soul with all your might before Him—whatever that may look like on the outside.

2 Samuel 6:14—And David danced before the LORD with all his might. (ESV)

Hope Now

If you’ve been following my devotions for very long, you know I love writing about heaven. I love thinking about the incredible things God has planned for us and wants us to look forward to; I love encouraging others to do the same. I’m glad and relieved to know that heaven awaits me—that this life isn’t all there is.

But something a friend said the other day on a different topic got me to thinking. It’s great to know that one day, all our troubles will be over. It’s marvelous to have heaven to look forward to. It’s fantastic to have hope in the future.

But we need hope now, too.

We need hope on those days where everything goes wrong. We need hope when grief is crushing us. We need hope not only that things will be better someday, but that we can make it through this day.

Precious mom who needs hope, let me tell you something: hope is exactly what Jesus came to give you. Not just for heaven, but for right now.

Do you need hope that someone will completely, perfectly love you and meet all your emotional needs? God will do that Himself. Sometimes He uses others to help Him minister His love to you, but even when others fail, He can—and will!—pour His love into you until your heart overflows.

Do you need hope that eventually, the wounds others caused in your life will heal? One of God’s names is Jehovah-Rapha, meaning God Who Heals. He can heal those scars in your heart and soul, the scars you think nobody else truly understands, because He does understand. And He can make you whole.

Do you hope against hope that someday, you will feel like you really matter? Like you’re infinitely worthwhile? God has declared repeatedly in His Word that you are already incredibly precious to Him. And He’s willing to repeat it to you over and over, and to confirm it with His love and by His Spirit within you, until you believe it.

Do you need hope that you can make it through another day? He’ll give you His strength to keep going when you feel like you just can’t.

Do you desperately hope that you’re doing a good enough job of being a mom? He’ll show you exactly what to do to be “good enough”—and it’s probably not as hard as you think. You can be a good enough mom. You can even hear Him say it.

If you put your hope in having pleasing or easy circumstances, you’re going to be disappointed, probably often. But if you put your hope in God Himself, you will never be disappointed. That’s because true, life-giving hope is found not in circumstances but in God Himself, and He’s guaranteed that He will never leave your nor forsake you.

Not just at the end of life. But right now.

Deuteronomy 31:6—Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of [anything], for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. (ESV)

Note:
If you’d like to know more about heaven, eternal life, or the kind of hope you can have right now, I encourage you to contact me through my website or to read some of the materials already there under “How to Know God”. I’d love to hear from you.