May 2013

Wildflower Love

wildflowers in a white vaseOn top of my piano sits a bouquet of beautiful wildflowers in a variety of shapes and colors. This bouquet was carefully gathered for me not by a florist, but by my four older children on a recent overnight at their friends’ country home. Knowing that there were lovely flowers in the area, the kids decided to go walking and pick several for me.

Now, I enjoy the bouquet in my dining room. But what I enjoy most about it isn’t the beauty I can see. It’s the beauty I can’t see.

Those flowers represent love. Pure, sweet love that was strong enough to motivate my children to expend their energy and effort to do something that would bring me pleasure. And as I look at the flowers, I find that I’m motivated in return—to spend my time and energy on searching out things that will bring them pleasure.

Sometimes, those things might be as simple as making their PBJ sandwich (instead of requiring them to make it for themselves) and then cutting it into shapes. Other times, it might mean reading to them, playing a game with them, or seizing a few free moments on a beautiful day to take them to the park.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be something huge in order to delight our kids; it just needs to be something designed to make them happy.

After all, it’s the same way God treats us.

Every day, God pours blessings into our lives. Every day, He does things designed to delight us. He does them on our good days; He sometimes does even more special things on our bad days. He knows our hearts, and He knows how much we long to be delighted. So He showers us with good things, both big and small.

You and I both can think of lots of things that would bring delight to our kids’ hearts. If we spend some time thinking about it, we could probably come up with even more. We don’t have to be especially creative. We can just do the things we know to do and ask God to open our eyes to see other, special things that would make our children happy.

I’m going to have that bouquet of flowers to look at for days. Maybe even a week. And every time I look at it, I will remember not only my children’s love for me, but God’s love for me. He sent me a bouquet of flowers through my children. So I’ll be thankful—to Him and to them. And I’ll spend time this week thinking about ways to delight my children—not just because I love them, but because their heavenly Father wants to give them gifts through me.

Will you do the same?

James 1:17— Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

While You Can

This past week, I attended the Colorado Christian Writers Conference in beautiful Estes Park. I spent three days on the campus of the YMCA of the Rockies, which is surrounded by mountains (some of which were still snow-capped). My spirit was refreshed by the worship sessions there, and I loved getting to reconnect with old friends as well as make new ones. I especially enjoyed teaching my clinic and getting to know my students.

wildflowers growing in rocky groundEven walking in between the buildings to get where I needed to be was a pleasure as I soaked in the beautiful scenery. Once, on my way to one particular building, I happened to notice two dandelions poking their heads up between some rocks. I thought they were pretty, so I stopped and took their picture, then continued into the building to teach my clinic.

When I came out an hour later, I looked for the dandelions again. They were still there, but one had closed up its beautiful yellow head. I realized that if I hadn’t taken the picture when I first saw them, I would have missed my chance.

Our children, too, are flowers that are only open some of the time. We can’t count on being able to connect with them or teach them any time we want. We have to do it when they’re open.

For example, our children tend to be most open to learning to love Jesus when they’re young. If we don’t make it a priority to introduce them to Him and teach them about Him while we can, we might miss the opportunity. That’s not to say that missing one opportunity will doom our children to a life without Christ. But when we consistently fail to make spiritual instruction a priority, we’re missing the chance to teach them while they’re open.

Likewise, there are moments in each day when we have the chance to connect with our children’s hearts. Yet often we’re too busy on Facebook or with some other pursuit to really stop and connect. Again, missing one opportunity won’t doom us to a bad relationship with our children or cause them to grow up feeling unloved. But missing those opportunities on a consistent basis means failing to pour love into their lives while we have the chance.

Precious mom, watch carefully for the times when your children are open. Ask God to open your eyes to see those times you might have missed otherwise. And then take action. Don’t miss the opportunity.

Do it while you can.

Ephesians 5:15-16—Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (NIV)

Back to Normal

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Time for breakfast in bed, flowers, and gifts. Time for artwork with your child’s handprint, carefully printed cards saying “You’re the greatest”, and everybody’s best behavior.

Today is the day after Mother’s Day. Time for…well, for the same ol’, same ol’. No breakfast in bed. No gifts. No special treatment. Everything’s back to normal.

Which means that you probably won’t get as many expressions of appreciation as you do on Mother’s Day itself. You probably won’t get the same pampering. You’ll get the same thing you get 364 days of the year—whatever that looks like at your house.

Getting back to normal can be a bit of a let-down.

That’s because inside of each mom is a longing to feel valued and appreciated. Often, this longing is pretty well satisfied on Mother’s Day. But the other 364 days per year? Not so much.

It’s normal and natural to desire to feel appreciated. It’s a part of being human that God purposely crafted into us. But often, it goes unfulfilled.

Why? Because we’re looking to the wrong people.

Yes, our husband (if we’re married) should show us appreciation. But he may not completely understand what we need. Besides, he has his own appreciation cup that needs filling.

Yes, our children should show appreciation to us. But they can’t fully grasp the magnitude of what we do for them, so they don’t fully appreciate us. (And that’s fine; they’re children!)

Friends, family, and society won’t fully appreciate us either. They all have their own appreciation cups to fill.

So what do we do with this God-given need that the people around us can’t totally meet?

We bring it to Him. Every time we long for more appreciation, instead of trying to force those around us to give it to us, we go to God. He is always ready and willing to pour His appreciation into our souls, and He knows how to do it way better than any human being possibly could.

So when Mother’s Day turns into “Regular, Ordinary Monday”, remember this: you are still appreciated. True, you might not get as many tangible expressions of appreciation from your family. But there is One who longs to pour into your spirit all those intangibles that are so much more fulfilling than what we demand from others anyway.

Why not take Him up on His offer?

Psalm 62:8—Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

One Blade

green lawn mowerRecently, I was having a stressful day. I had some things on my mind, and I was tired of doing child care. I told my husband I needed a break. He went outside and came back in a half hour later. “I weed-eated around the fence line, the shed, the swing set, and everything else out there,” he said, referring to the back yard. “Why don’t you go mow the rest?”

Lest you think my husband was being particularly insensitive, I must tell you that I actually enjoy mowing (except the detail work, which he had just taken care of). Phil knows I like the simple mindlessness of the work, the basic-labor kind of joy in pushing the mower up and down our quarter-acre back yard. I also like doing a task that’s going to stay done and looking nice for longer than 30 seconds after I complete it.

So I jumped at the chance to go mow. The kids followed me outside and played on the swing set while I mowed. Up and down. Back and forth. Watching the patch yet to be mowed growing smaller and smaller. I felt like I was truly accomplishing something.

At one point, I looked back over an area I had just mowed to make sure I got it all. I saw one long blade of grass sticking up in the midst of an otherwise-well-mowed section of lawn. I knew that one blade didn’t matter all that much, but I went back and mowed it down anyway. Why? Because I wanted to do the job right.

We’d all do well to take the same approach when uprooting sin from our lives. Yet too often, we leave one blade of sin sticking up, and we say to ourselves, Well, that’s good enough. But it isn’t. It’s not doing the job right.

Jesus didn’t die on the cross so that we could be forgiven of some of our sins, or even most of them. He sacrificed Himself so all our sins could be forgiven. He did the job right. And aren’t we glad? Aren’t we grateful that everything we’ve done is forgiven, not just the things that wanted to lie down and die easily on the first pass over them?

Why, then, do we only take some of the sins in our life seriously enough to make sure they are mowed down? God has commanded us to be holy. Not “kind of” holy, not “sort of” holy, but completely holy. He even gives us a promise, through the apostle Paul, that if we don’t put sin to death in our lives, we will die, but if we do, we will live.

I want to live abundantly, and I bet you do too. But we can only do so to the extent we are willing to give up known sin. To put it to death. To mow it down. To the extent that we tolerate sin in our lives, we won’t fully live.

What sins are sticking up in your life right now? What sins have you been tolerating because you think they aren’t that big a deal, or because hey, at least you mowed the rest of them down?

Precious mom, mow the whole yard. Put to death every sin that you find in your life. If you think you’re done, ask God to point out anything else to put to death, and see what He shows you.

Your life may still look pretty good even with that one sin sticking up in the middle. But you won’t be as fully alive as you could be.

Go mow it down.

Romans 8:13—For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.