November 2013

Fame

A few days ago, I returned from a trip to California. I had gone there to meet the team at my publishing house and to discuss some publicity strategies for my upcoming book (Chaotic Joy; coming April 1, 2014). The most fun aspect of the trip was getting to meet the eople I had formerly known only by name or through email. The second best aspect—which was right up there with the first—was that I had gone by myself. In other words, no children.

An all-expenses paid trip to California by myself, no childcare duties involved. Ahhhhhh. I started looking forward to it the minute I heard about it. However, while I very much enjoyed the time alone, I also wished the team could have met my children. My children are great people, and I love showing them off, just like you do yours. Plus,it’s because of my children that I write what I do: books for moms. Therefore, people who know my children will get a deeper glimpse into who I am and what’s behind my writing.

I found out, though, that even though most of the staff there had never met my children (my editor had met Timmy once when he was 3 months old, because I had brought him to a writing conference she and I both attended), Timmy’s reputation had preceded him. I’m friends with some of the staff on Facebook, and I frequently post about Timmy on my personal page. So Timmy’s exploits were nothing new.

“How’s Timmy doing?” several people asked, knowing he was probably up to or into something.

But active toddler boys aren’t the only ones whose reputation precedes them. Sometimes ours precedes us, as well.

You and I may become well-known even to people who have never met us in person. People may have heard of us (whether for good or for ill) and be well aware of what kind of person we are—even if they’ve never seen us face-to-face. Our fame may go before us, causing them to expect us to be a certain type of person. Usually, this is no problem.

But we need to make sure we’re well-known for good things, not bad. We want to be known as the person who’s always gracious, not the person with the unpredictable temper. It’s much better to be known as the person with a kind word for everyone, as opposed to the person who’s so negative and critical that no one wants to be around her.

Friend, what’s your reputation?Is it something you’re glad to be known for?

If not, it’s never too late to begin building a new reputation. With God’s help, you can stop gossiping, or being harsh or negative, or being lazy. You can choose the reputation you want and work to make that happen. And the best part is that you don’t have to work alone. God will help you, because He wants you to be known for positive qualities even more than you do. He wants you to reflect well on Him and to bring glory to His name, which is hard to do if you’re known for less-than-positive traits.

So if you’re known for positive, God-honoring things, rejoice and give thanks to Him that He has enabled this to be so. If you’re known for the opposite, lay those things before Him and ask for His help to become known for things He would want you known for.

Ask Him to help you reflect the character of His Son, and to become known for that character. You can rest assured He will answer that prayer with a yes.

Proverbs 22:1—A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

Calvin Who?

Calvin CoolidgeTeaching children is always an adventure. You never know what they’re going to say next.

The other day, I was teaching Ellie history (she is homeschooled). She had read a particular section of the chapter, and I was quizzing her about it. We came to one question where the answer was supposed to be Calvin Coolidge.

Oh, I know!” she said. “That’s Calvin, uh, Calvin What’s-his-name…I know! Calvin Klein!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Her error was easily corrected, as I explained who both men were and that she should have said Calvin Coolidge.

The fact that she got the two confused rather amused me. I found it funny that, when pressed to think of “Calvin’s” last name, she came up with the name of a clothing manufacturer instead of the name of our former President.

Getting an answer wrong in history class can be funny. What’s not so humorous, however—not at all, actually—is when we don’t know the right answer to other, more important questions.

As Christians, we are to live our lives in accordance with God’s standards. That means we have to know what those standards are. We need to be able to answer questions we’ll all encounter, such as Is it okay to be snarky to someone who made me mad? (No.) Is it okay to be kind only to the people I really like? (No.) Did God really mean that I need to be faithful to my marriage vows and loving to my husband and children? (Yes.)

So how are we going to know what the right answer is in a particular situation? It’s dangerous just to wait until the situation occurs and then go with whatever our emotions tell us is right. Emotions can be greatly deceptive, and we run a risk—sometimes a huge one—when we allow them to be the arbiters of what we should do.

Instead, we need to ingrain God’s answers to these questions into our minds, so that when the situation arises, we aren’t at a loss as to what’s the right thing to do. And the best way to know what God says in regards to the decisions we must make is to look at His revealed Word, the Bible.

In the Bible, God lays out for us all the principles we need in order to know what kind of conduct is right and pleases Him. He gives us all the answers to our moral questions. Do the kind thing. Do the loving thing. Put others first. Granted, He doesn’t always tell us exactly how to apply these principles in every situation we face. But He does give us these answers. When someone snaps at us, we already know what the answer is: we’re supposed to respond lovingly. All that’s left to do is ask God for the application. Exactly what does being loving look like in this situation?

Or when someone tempts us to sin, we know we’re supposed to flee temptation. We don’t have to ask whether or not that’s the right answer; we already know that it is. All we have to do is ask God what fleeing looking like in our particular situation.

Do you know what God says to us in His Word? Are you familiar with the principles He’s laid out in the Bible? Do you already know the answers He’s provided you even before you ask?

If not, you need to spend more time studying the pages of Scripture. God has provided answers to some of our most commonly asked questions, and you should want to know what those answers are. He’s provided solutions to some of our most frequent or irritating problems, and if you know what He’s said, you’ll be a lot better able to deal with them.

Yes, you might still have to ask Him for some specifics in how to apply His answers, but make sure you at least know what those answers are. By giving them to you, He’s given you a leg up on every situation you will ever face.

Take advantage of that.

Psalm 119:97— Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. (NIV)

The Monkey Pumpkin

The school’s contest rules were simple: get a pumpkin. Decorate it like a character from your favorite book. Do it by yourself.

The very day Lindsey brought home the note about the pumpkin decorating contest, she excitedly told me she wanted to enter. She would decorate her pumpkin like a monkey (of course), and the pumpkins would be displayed in the school library, “where everyone can see them.” Lindsey wanted to go buy pumpkin-decorating supplies immediately.

We weren’t able to go right then, but one weekend we did go to Wal-Mart to pick out a pumpkin, some paint, and some ribbon. Lindsey had already designed the pumpkin in her mind, and she intended for it to be painted brown, with brown construction paper ears, arms, legs, and a tail. The eyes, nose, and mouth would be painted on, and the monkey would have a bow on her head.

So we bought brown, black, and white paint and a spool of ribbon that was pink with white polka dots. “Can I start on my pumpkin as soon as we get home?” Lindsey wanted to know.

Monkey PumpkinI said yes, and that’s what she did. She covered that pumpkin with brown paint, leaving space for the eyes, which she painted in later. She added a nose and mouth, taped on the bow, and then taped on arms, legs, and a tail. The whole thing took…well, not nearly as long as I thought it would.

And the results were…well, it was obvious Lindsey had followed the rules and made that pumpkin all by herself.

Yet Lindsey was fiercely proud of it. She loved that pumpkin, and she still does. She carried it carefully into the school and entered it in the contest. And even when it didn’t win (many of the pumpkins had obviously had parental help involved), she proudly brought it home to display.

Lindsey is dreading the day when her pumpkin begins to rot and we have to throw it away. She will grieve over the loss of that pumpkin. Because even though it wasn’t judged to be much by other people’s standards, it was hers, and to her, it was the greatest.

It’s kind of like how God sees us. He knows that not many of us are judged to be beautiful, talented, wealthy, or valuable by the world’s standards. But He loves us not based on what the world says about us, but based on the fact that He made us. We’re His, and He loves us. It’s that simple.

Your value as a person comes not from anything the world says about you or any contest you might win, but from the fact that you belong to God. When He looks at you, He doesn’t look at your outward appearance (beauty, fame, wealth, or talents) but at your heart. Is your heart right toward Him? Does His Holy Spirit live there? Do you love Him? Are you His? Then you are precious to Him.

It doesn’t matter what the world says. It doesn’t make a bit of difference whether or not you win or lose a particular contest. You are precious to God because you belong to Him.

1 Samuel 16:7—But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (NIV)

No Room for Clothes

Suitcase with stuffed animalsThis past weekend, our family took a trip to see my in-laws (“Grandma and Pampa”, as the kids call them). Friday was our day to pack and prepare for the trip, and when we do, even the kids help by packing some of their own things. I was working on one particular task when Jessica came into the room pulling her suitcase, which appeared stuffed to the gills.

“I finished packing my stuffed animals,” she said. “But now I don’t have any room for my clothes.”

“You have to pack your clothes first,” I said.

“Oh,” she said, turning to eye the suitcase as if trying to figure out how she could make both clothes and stuffed animals fit in there.

I didn’t blame her for wanting to fill her suitcase full of twenty or thirty of her favorite stuffed friends. As a child, I loved my stuffed animals too. The only problem was that stuffed animals can’t be allowed to take the place of clothes to wear.

You and I sometimes find ourselves in a situation similar to Jessica’s. We’ve filled our lives with good things, maybe even very good things, and that’s fine. But what’s not fine is when we allow the good things to crowd out the truly essential things.

We find time for soccer practice and Facebook, but we don’t find time for a daily time spent with God. Or we have time for our friends or favorite leisure pursuits, but we don’t have time to go to church on a regular basis.

In other words, we prioritize earthly things over cultivating our relationship with God.

Those earthly things may seem more urgent, but they usually aren’t. What could be more urgent than our connection to God? Yet we put virtually everything else in front of it, and things like a daily quiet time get pushed to the side, if they even happen at all.

But if we’re too busy to have a regular time with your Creator, we’re just plain too busy. When our plate is overloaded, something may have to give. But that something shouldn’t be our intimacy with God.

True, we may have to be creative in scheduling time to develop our relationship with Him. There will be days when we have to take time with Him where we can get it. But unless you and I make time spent with Him a priority, it’s probably not going to happen.

Moms, let’s get our priorities straight. Let’s not stuff our lives so full of the non-essentials or seeming essentials that we have no time left for what is truly essential. Let’s get first things first—and then, in the time that’s left over, we can schedule all those other things.

Let’s not let other things, even good ones, stuff our suitcases so full that there’s no room left for what we really need.

Psalm 73:25—Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (NIV)