January 2014

Finding the Best

Megan Breedlove January 27, 2014 No Comments

Seashells This past weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to spend a couple days with several of my friends whom I had previously only met online. We’ve been friends for almost ten years, and we wanted to meet each other in person. So we all converged on the Disney resort at Hilton Head, and we had a wonderful time.

One of the things some of us did was take a walk on the beach to enjoy the beautiful scenery and look for seashells. We didn’t find many shells—it was the wrong time of day—but we enjoyed peering into the sand in search of just that perfect shell.

Some of the shells I found appeared perfect because they were partially buried in the sand. But when I picked them up, I discovered that they were broken. I tossed those back to the ground and kept looking. When I found a perfect one, I rinsed it off in the ocean and put it in my pocket—and then kept looking for more.

In the same way I looked for those shells, you and I need to look for the great things our children do. We need to be willing to search through all the things our children do wrong until we find something they’re doing right, and then we need to keep looking for even more things they’re doing right.

Yes, we need to correct and discipline our children when they’re sinned, and when they’ve made a simple mistake, we need to correct that too. That’s not wrong. What’s wrong is when we focus on the negatives to the exclusion of the positives. We put all our energy into fixing the broken shells rather than rejoicing in the ones that are unbroken.

Our children’s behavior is like that beach. It’s full of shells (actions). Some are desirable, and some are undesirable. When we find an action that needs correcting, it’s okay to stop and do that. But then we need to toss it aside and go back to looking for the good things they’ve done.

You and I as moms love it when the important people in our lives notice things we’ve done well. We wouldn’t want them to harp on the negatives while ignoring everything we do right. Yet too often, that’s what we do to our kids. We take the unbroken shells for granted and spend all our time trying to convince our children to remedy the broken ones.

How discouraged or even angry our children must get sometimes, when all they hear about is the things they’ve done wrong! Harping on their sins and mistakes is one easy way to provoke them, something the Bible tells us we’re not supposed to do.

What difference would it make in our homes if we spent as much time looking for what our children do right and rejoicing in those things as we do concentrating on the negative? Would our children be more encouraged? Would we?

Why not try it and find out?

Ephesians 6:4—Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (ESV; parentheses added)

Great Enough

Megan Breedlove January 20, 2014 No Comments

Have you ever been to one of those painting classes where an instructor teaches you and your group how to paint a particular painting, and you paint it right there in class? Neither had I, until this past week. A friend of mine had her birthday party at one such venue, and I thought it sounded like a lot of fun. So, despite the fact that I know I’m not a very good artist, I decided to go.

“It’s easy!” everybody said. “It’ll be fun!”

It was a lot of fun. And it was easy to follow the instructor’s directions. I listened carefully and followed her directions as best I could. Which doesn’t explain why her painting looked like a professional painting, and mine looked like…well, like exactly what it was: a painting by someone who had never attempted to do something like this before.

“It has character,” I told my husband as I was driving home. “But don’t worry: we don’t have to hang it up or anything.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Phil said. When I arrived home and displayed the actual picture, he said, “It looks great!”

What I saw when I looked at it were the places where the brush strokes were a little too wide, the grass was a little too long, or the sky was a little too blue. In other words, the imperfections.

My kids didn’t see the imperfections. “Cool!” Ellie exclaimed when I showed it to her. “Who painted that?”

“I did,” I said.

“Wow! Cool!” she repeated.

The other kids’ mouths dropped open when they found out I painted it. “That’s amazing!” Kenny exclaimed. “I didn’t know you could paint like that!”

I was actually starting to be a little proud of my painting, with its imperfections and all.

We’re going to hang that painting up after all. Not because it’s a technically perfect painting (it isn’t), but as a reminder to me that even when I can’t perform perfectly, overall, I still do a lot that is right and worthy of admiration, especially by my children.

We as moms are often hard on ourselves, especially when it comes to motherhood. When we look at the job we’re doing, all we see are the mistakes. The times we yelled or lost our temper. The times we didn’t have patience, or weren’t creative, or said something we shouldn’t. We look at our motherhood and we see a picture that doesn’t look quite right.

Our children, on the other hand, probably see something very different. Sure, they know we make mistakes, but they have an entirely different perspective. They look at the job we’ve done, and they say, “Cool!” or “That’s amazing!”

To them, it doesn’t matter whether our motherhood looks exactly like someone else’s or is technically perfect (which isn’t possible, by the way). They’re much easier on us than we are on ourselves. They look at us and see “Wow!”

True, when we sin, we need to confess it. When we make a mistake, we need to rectify it. But the fact that we make mistakes sometimes, and sin sometimes, doesn’t mean the whole picture is ruined. Instead of frantically trying to muster up our own abilities to make the picture perfect and pleasing to our God and our children—and being afraid we still won’t be able to do it—we need to trust in the perfection of the One Who has called us to motherhood and will strengthen us and equip us with everything we need to do the job well.

When I see that picture hanging on the wall near my desk, I’m going to remember the fun time I had at the painting class. I’ll probably also be tempted to see the imperfections. But I’m going to resist that temptation. Instead, I’ll remind myself how cool my children think the picture is. And I’ll remember that being a good painter—just like being a good mom—doesn’t mean that I have to be perfect.

Isaiah 41:10—Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (ESV)

Limmited

Megan Breedlove January 13, 2014 No Comments

Limmited Yes, I know the title of this devotional is spelled wrong. But let me explain.

This past week, my third-grade son, Kenny, participated in a spelling bee at his school. He was one of two representatives chosen from his class for his superior spelling ability. The bee contestants were third-, fourth-, and fifth-graders, all of whom had to stand before a gym packed with their classmates and parents and try to spell their words correctly.

Kenny wasn’t completely prepared. He had lost his spelling list partway through the preparation time, and it took us awhile to get another one. So he had studied some of the words, but he wasn’t as fully prepared as he could have been.

“Please, God,” I prayed, as Kenny’s first turn approached. “Please let him get through at least one round.”

It wasn’t to be. Kenny got the word “limited” and spelled it with two “m’s”. For him, the spelling bee was over.

We had told him beforehand that whether he won or lost, we would still be proud of him. I was especially proud of his attitude after he lost. He was disappointed, but he accepted the results bravely. “I’m proud of you, son,” I said, giving him a hug.

And I was—though I couldn’t help but wonder whether more preparation would have made a difference in the outcome.

It’s a relatively minor thing not to be prepared for a spelling bee. It’s much more serious when you and I aren’t prepared for the tests that come our way in life—tests that we could have prepared for, if we had only done what we were supposed to do.

I’m not saying that there is a way to anticipate everything that might happen to us, just as there is no way to prepare for every single spelling word in the English language. But Scripture promises us that we will all face trials. And when we do, it’s best to be as ready as possible.

How do we get ready for trials? How can we possibly prepare when we don’t know exactly what’s coming? Three ways.

First, we maintain a close relationship with God. Just like any close relationship, this one involves spending time with the Person we want to be close to. We need to spend regular, daily time with Him. Some of the ways to do that include prayer, Bible study, and hearing His Word proclaimed. When we encounter a trial, we don’t want to have to try to remember where we last left God, so to speak. We want to be close to Him and used to communing with Him on a regular basis.

Second, we take care of our relationships with others. During times of trial, we will need others to be close to us, to help us make it through. If we’ve allowed our relationships with family and friends to grow distant, then when hardship comes, we’ll be scrambling for support. If we are holding something against someone—or if he or she is holding something against us—we need to get that settled. Not during the midst of a trial, but right now, before the trial comes.

Third, we need to take care of our bodies. As much as possible, we need to eat well and get enough sleep. I know these two things aren’t always possible. But when they are, we need to take advantage of them as ways to keep our body strong, so that when a trial hits, we won’t fold physically under the pressure.

We may not know exactly what’s coming, but we can prepare as if we did. That way, when trials come (not if), we’ll be better able to face them to God’s glory. And maybe, just maybe, we won’t be knocked out in the first round.

James 1:2—Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. (ESV; italics added)

Greener

Megan Breedlove January 6, 2014 No Comments

My son Timmy loves potato chips. “Get it? Get it?” he will say hopefully, pointing to the bag on the counter.

The other day, I gave him several chips. He was happily eating them…for awhile, that is. His satisfaction with his snack came to a screeching halt when he realized that Jessica had chips too.

The minute he realized there were chips on her plate, he began doing everything he could think of to try to get to them. “No, Timmy,” I said. “You have your own chips.”

But Timmy was no longer impressed with his own snack. He climbed up onto a chair near Jessica and tried to climb onto the table. He reached for her chips. He asked for them. He screamed.

I went over to him, picked up one of his chips, and offered it to him. He clamped his mouth shut and turned away, so I backed off, at which point he immediately began demanding his sister’s chips again.

Ultimately, Timmy missed out on a snack because he wouldn’t eat his own chips, and I wouldn’t let him have his sister’s chips. He went hungry when there was a perfectly good plate of chips sitting right there in front of him—all because he couldn’t have what his sister was having.

Timmy’s attitude and actions that day remind me of us moms sometimes. We’re content with what we have in our own lives—our house, our car, our children—until we see somebody who has something “better”. Then we begin to pout, whine, and complain.

What she has is so much better than what I have, we tell ourselves. Why can’t I have it too?

And then we look back at our own lives, which seemed so satisfying just a moment ago, and suddenly, they’re not quite so satisfying anymore.

You’ve heard the saying, The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. It means that whatever someone else has always looks better. Unfortunately, this is often true. We fail to appreciate what we have because we’re too busy wanting what someone else has.

But oh, don’t belittle what you have just because someone else has more or “better”. Don’t look at the gifts God has specifically chosen for you and disparage them because they’re not what you would have picked out for yourself. God is far better at picking things out for you than you are. He knows what is best for you and ultimately what will be most satisfying—in other words, what will lead you to Him. If you don’t have what someone else has, there’s a reason. God knows it’s not in His plan for you—at least right now.

Is there something in your life today with which you’re dissatisfied? Is part of your dissatisfaction because you’re comparing what you have with what you think you could or should have?

Precious mom, trust God that what He has picked out for you is right for you. Then thank Him for it. True contentment is to be found in God alone, not in the things we possess. It’s Satan’s lie that you would be happier with the things someone else has.

Don’t believe him. Stick with the chips on your own plate.

James 1:17—Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (ESV)

1 Timothy 6:6—Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment. (ESV)

Finding the Best

Great Enough

Limmited

Greener

You Missed

Priorities

I Wouldn’t Do That

Little Things

8 Seconds