July 2014

What God Says to You

Bible heartEvery night, when I put my kids to bed, I pray for them. I make sure they’re all settled in, and then, as I leave the room, I say, “Hey, you know what? You’re a great kid, and I love you, and God loves you!” (I want those words to be the last they hear from me at the end of each day. Plus, it’s a great reminder as they go off to sleep.)

The other night, I had put Timmy in his crib, made sure he had his sport cup tucked in with him, and covered him with his blanket. I stroked his head, preparing to begin my prayer for him, which I usually begin the same way (and which I’ve heard him quote before). “What does Mommy say?” I asked him.

“’No, Timmy! No!’” Timmy responded matter-of-factly.

I couldn’t help but laugh. As an active two-year-old, Timmy does indeed hear some variation of those words several times a day. He loves exploring and getting into things, and sometimes, he wants to mix into things that aren’t good for him. When that happens, I have to tell him no.

Nonetheless, his answer made me laugh, because it wasn’t the answer I was expecting (accurate though it was). It also made me think.

You and I both know that what we say to our children on a regular basis is going to get stuck in their heads. God understands this principle, too (of course), and He uses it in a positive way to try to get His words into our minds and hearts.

Just look at the Bible. Over and over in the Bible, God tells us how much He loves us. He tells us repeatedly how special we are to Him.

Why does He do this? Because He forgot He said it before? Hardly. He repeats Himself because He knows that if He only says it once, we’re not going to get it. We need to hear it time after time in order to even begin to absorb it.

If God were to ask us, “What do I say to you?” He would want us to respond, “You say, ‘I love you!’” He wants this knowledge of His love so to pervade our minds and hearts that we’re always thinking about it—and so that when those other voices come, telling us that we’re worthless, we’ll realize they are not His voice.

As if it weren’t enough for God to tell us over and over in the Old Testament that He loves us, He also sent His Son down here to show us. Then, in the New Testament, He tells us some more. “I love you! I love you! I love you!”

This is the message He wants us to hear playing in our heads when we think of Him. So He tells us over and over in Scripture, He sends His Son to show us, and He continues to tell us throughout our days, in thousands of ordinary ways.

If God tries to communicate this message to you so many times and in so many different ways, don’t you think it must be pretty important to Him? The reason it’s so important is that He wants you to know what He is like, to feel deeply, passionately loved, and to therefore desire a relationship with Him.

I encourage you to spend some time this week—today, even—meditating on God’s love for you. Get your Bible out, and look up some passages that talk about how much God loves you. (If you’re not sure how to do that, there are some great topical concordances online that can help.) No matter where you are in your understanding of God’s love, this practice of meditating on what He has said to you will help you record these words in your mind and heart so that they’ll play back when you need them, and sometimes even for no particular occasion except that God wants to send you a “love note” right then.

The Bible is all about God’s love for you and desire for an intimate relationship with you. Shouldn’t you spend some time thinking about what it says?

Romans 5:5b—God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (ESV)

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Are You Ready to Get Going?

Go signalWhen you have an almost-two-and-a-half-year-old who is very aware of what is going on around him, there’s no such thing as leaving the house by yourself. Not unless you possess military-level skills for avoiding detection, that is.

Timmy loves to go o-u-t-s-i-d-e. If he sees me gathering up my purse, or even putting on shoes, he asks, “Where going, Mommy?”

If he hears me and my husband talking about my running out to do some errands, and one of us mistakenly says the word “go” loud enough that Timmy can hear it, he says, “Wanna go too!”

Sometimes, even when told he can’t go, Timmy will go find his sandals and struggle to put them on. Or if someone else’s shoes are handy (like one of his sisters’ pairs of dress shoes), he will put those shoes on instead. Whatever. He’s flexible. All he cares about is showing that he’s ready to go because he has shoes.

Timmy doesn’t even need to know where I’m going. Anywhere is good enough. The mere knowledge that I’m going places—anywhere at all—is enough for him. If I’m going, he wants to go too. And if I invite him to go with me, he gets even more excited.

I bet God would love it if we as moms were always equally ready to go where He is going in our lives.

Too often, when we realize that God wants to take us somewhere, we demand to know all the details before setting out so we can decide whether we want to go. If the details meet with our approval, then sure, we’ll accompany Him. If not—or if He won’t give us all the details in advance—we’re reluctant to follow Him out the door. We might even refuse.

But when God is moving in our lives, we should be excited to go with Him—not reluctant or fearful, and certainly not unwilling. True, sometimes God takes us through circumstances that are not pleasant. But if we’re only willing to follow when we know in advance that the road ahead is going to be smooth, what kind of relationship do we really have with Him? Certainly not one of trust in His care and provision for us on the way, and definitely not one that recognizes Him as the supreme authority to decide what’s good or necessary for our lives.

When we insist upon knowing all the details in advance, or when we’re reluctant to go with Him because it might involve something unpleasant, that’s equivalent to making our own desires and comfort a higher priority than His desires. And that’s completely, 100%, wrong.

Not just because we’re wrong to put ourselves before God (though certainly that). But also because going with Him, even through less-than-pleasing circumstances, is far better than staying behind. We would never say that we believe living distant from God is better than being with Him, but our actions and attitudes show it to be true.

What matters most to you in life? Is it your own comfort and ease? Or is it an intimate relationship with your Creator and Savior?

If it’s the former, let me tell you this: by seeking your own joy, you’re going to lose it. But if it’s the latter, let me assure you that you will never go on any greater, more fantastic adventure than accompanying God somewhere.

Are you ready to get going?

Isaiah 6:8—And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” (NIV)

Luke 17:33—Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. (ESV)

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When You’re Tempted to Be Discontent

no broccoliYou can’t please everyone.

This is especially true when you are serving dinner to your children. With each child you have, the odds increase that somebody isn’t going to like what’s served. Even if you only have one child, it’s entirely possible that what he or she liked the last time you served it may get a very different approval rating this time.

So, if you’re like our family, you have had to try to teach your children how to be polite about something they don’t like. Of course, your kids will put their own spin on your instructions, and you will wind up hearing comments like this recent one from Ellie, when I had prepared a ham-yam-pineapple dish: “I really like it. Except for the ham. And the yams. And, well, the pineapple.”

Or this one from Jessica: “Can I have a cheese rollup too? Except without any cheese, but with peanut butter.”

Kids in general (though there are certainly exceptions) seem to have a relatively narrow range of likes and dislikes related to food. If what you serve falls between those parameters (which, by the way, change frequently and without warning), all is well. But if not?

To paraphrase a slogan I recently read on Facebook, “There is no fury like that of a toddler whose sandwich you cut into squares when he wanted triangles.”

Kids can be pretty picky sometimes. If your children aren’t, and will actually eat things like onions and mushrooms without implying that you are trying to kill them, then you are truly blessed. But for most of us, the truism “Children are picky eaters” will, indeed, ring true.

Unfortunately, you and I as moms are sometimes equally picky in terms of what we want out of life, and even out of God. God offers us something that is perfectly good for us, and we want to modify it or refuse it entirely. It’s one thing to make our own choice when God lets us choose, which He does sometimes do. It’s another thing entirely to act as if God must fashion our circumstances according to our demands.

We are not the ones in authority—the ones with perfect knowledge of everything, past, present, and future. We are not the ones capable of determining what’s best for us, or what’s necessary for God’s plan for our lives to work out right. Yet we act as if God has done us a disservice by allowing some unpleasant circumstance into our lives.

I’m not suggesting that we should never pray and ask God to change our circumstances. Even Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, beseeching God to stop what was going to happen if it was at all possible. The Apostle Paul prayed three times, asking God to remove some unnamed thing that was tormenting him. At various places in Scripture, we are commanded to pray or to bring our requests before God.

The problem is not in asking God to heal us from sickness or to provide for our financial needs. The problem comes when we act like God is required to please us and conform our circumstances to our liking, and if He doesn’t, we’re not going to accept them.

But who are we to determine what is best for us? Is it not rather Almighty God, who is our Creator and Sustainer?

Is there something in your life right now that you’re refusing to accept from God’s hand? Something where God has told you, “This is the way it has to be for now”?

Don’t fight Him. Nothing good can come of striving against the Almighty. You will lose—and you will miss out on the blessings you could have had along the way.

Job 38:18—Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. (NIV)

Isaiah 55:9—As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (NIV)

Isaiah 29:16—You turn things upside down! Shall the potter be regarded as the clay, that the thing made should say of its maker, “He did not make me”; or the thing formed say of him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?

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When You’re Tempted to Complain

Meh catSometimes, having a good attitude is hard.

At least, it was hard for Ellie on a day not long ago. Several things didn’t go her way, and as each one happened, she complained. I could understand how she felt (I’m often tempted to complain, too, when things don’t go as I would like), but I knew I needed to say something to her.

Of course, I thought later of better and more articulate ways I could have handled the situation. But what I said at the time was, “Ellie, you need to stop complaining. If you’re really having a bad day, you can come talk to me about it. But don’t just go around being negative.” (I got it sort of right.)

Fast forward to yesterday morning, when Ellie said to me, “Mom, the last few days haven’t been going right at all for me. Can we talk about them? You told me to come to you instead of just complaining.”

I was pleased that she was making the effort to properly handle the temptation to complain. Of course, I made time to talk to her and let her voice her concerns. We talked about what she could do about them, as well as things I could do that would be helpful to her. Instead of spreading a cloud of negativity over our home because of her feelings about the past few days, Ellie did the right thing and chose to bring her concerns to someone (me) who would listen to her and help her with them.

It’s the same thing you and I need to do when we’re tempted to complain. We need to bring our concerns to someone who loves us and will help us deal with them. And while it’s marvelous to have human friends, family, or clergy who will listen to us when we have a need, it’s even better to have God.

The only problem is, you and I don’t take advantage of His willingness to listen as often as we should (which is every time). Instead of taking our concerns to God and asking Him to help us deal with them, we too often resort to complaining— venting our frustrations into the air, to whomever happens to be listening.

Now please don’t misunderstand me: I’m not suggesting that we should never tell anyone what’s bothering us, or pretend like everything’s fine when it isn’t. Far from it. In fact, one reason God gives us friends and family, as well as a community of Christian believers, is so we can help bear one another’s burdens. But there’s a difference between the kind of complaining the Bible forbids, and talking out what’s bothering us, in the way God meant for us to do, with someone we trust.

It’s okay to talk about our concerns with someone when we need help dealing with what’s going on. When we’re stressed or overloaded (and every mom experiences this at times), we need someone to hear us and help us figure out how to handle it. That’s fine. What isn’t fine is when we complain, finding fault with the circumstances God has allowed into our lives, with no real goal in mind other than just spewing out our negativity and (we think) relieving some of our tension for now.

In the first case, even if we have another human being to walk through our troubles with us, we still need to take them before God and talk to Him about them. After all, He’s the One who can give us the best help. He allowed those circumstances into our lives and intends to walk through them with us and bring a particular kind of good out of them.

In the second case—when really, all we want to do is be negative—it’s far better to take our complaints to God than to vent them on other people. He alone can change our heart in regard to the circumstances He’s allowed and grant us His perspective. Not only that, but He can provide stress relief for us that’s far better than the small and temporary relief we get by spewing out negativity.

The next time you’re tempted to complain, think about it this way: Do you have some things going on in your life that you need help dealing with? Fine. Talk to God about them, and find a human being you love and trust to talk to. Or do you not really want help, but just want to complain about the unfairness of it all? Take that to God too. Ask Him to change your heart and perspective.

He can, and He will, in ways that mere complaining will never do.

Philippians 2:14—Do everything without complaining or arguing. (NIV)

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