December 2014

Slow Dancing in the Playroom

Rarely do I read someone’s Facebook post and think, “Wow. Yes. That’s absolutely perfect.”

Recently, however, a friend of mine posted a text message his wife (also a friend) had sent him during a difficult day at home with their one-year-old son. Here it is, reproduced here with her permission:

[Our son is] miserable today btw. Like doesn’t want to play with anything. Just the toy he threw behind the couch. I can’t reach it. And then he ate a leaf and cried about it. And then I gave him three cookies, and he shoved all of them into his tiny mouth. As he chewed it, in came too much and it promptly began to flow like spraying masticated cookie goo everywhere. And now we are slow dancing in the playroom.

I bet you smiled and nodded too, as I did when I first read it. What a perfect encapsulation of life with a toddler.

Life with any child, for that matter. Sometimes everything goes wrong, incident after incident after incident. There are tears (theirs? ours?), frustration, anger, weariness, and discouragement.

But that’s not all.

Look again at my friend’s last sentence: “And now we are slow dancing in the playroom.”

What a beautiful moment that must have been. After a long, difficult day, my friend cuddled her precious son close, and they danced. Yes, she had experienced a hard day. But she also experienced love, intimacy, and beauty. And so did her son.

You’ve experienced that kind of juxtaposition, too—the crazy along with the peaceful, the good along with the bad. I’m sure you’ve run the whole gamut of emotions and experiences with your children this past year, and you’ll probably do so again in the year to come. Some events or circumstances will be pleasant and joyful; others will be sad, and still others will fall somewhere on the spectrum in between. You’ll have peaceful days, and you’ll have crazy days like my friend’s day.

But remember that the “not-so-good” or even “really bad” days aren’t all there is. You will have times of peaceful closeness with your children that bless your mother-heart in ways that are unspeakably precious.

So, yes, discipline your children when they need it; clean up their messes, or instruct them to do so; and find creative replacements for that toy they threw behind the couch. But don’t forget to make beautiful memories.

There’s always time for at least one slow dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1—To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (KJV)

Times of Refreshing

Jessi SpaSometimes, opportunities for relaxation pop up at the most unexpected times.

Take, for example, a recent Sunday morning. Our church has two morning services, of which we attend the second (there’s no way in the world we could get everybody up and to church by 8:00). On the first Sunday of every month, after the second service, there is either a light lunch or some finger foods served so parishioners can enjoy food and fellowship.

Our family was sitting together at one particular table. I don’t remember whom I was talking to, but I wasn’t looking in Jessica’s direction. Not, that is, until I heard her say, “Mommy, look at me!”

I looked, and Jessica was leaning back in her chair, a blissful smile on her face. A cucumber slice rested on each closed eyelid.

Clearly, Jessica had been visiting the vegetable tray. Equally obviously, she somehow knew what goes on at luxury spas. (Must be all the times I’ve gone to one, come home, and told her about it. Yeah, right….)

I laughed, and then I took her picture. I thought it was adorable. Maybe it wasn’t the kind of refreshment our church had in mind to provide (and it probably wasn’t what the kitchen staff thought people would do with the cucumber slices, either), but it was refreshing indeed.

You know, God promises us that He will grant us times of refreshing. Maybe sometimes these will involve actual spas, warm bubble baths, or some other kind of physical relaxation. Maybe we’ll get to go to lunch with a friend, or even—gasp!—go to the grocery store without children in tow!

I don’t know exactly what our times of refreshment will look like from day to day, but I do know this—there will be opportunities to receive the Lord’s refreshment every single day. I can’t guarantee it will involve cucumbers, but I can guarantee it will involve something even better.

How do I know? Because we have the opportunity to be with God every single day, and being in His presence is the ultimate refreshment—spiritually, emotionally, and even physically.

God is ready and willing—eager, even!—to meet with us any day, all day. The only thing we have to do to be in instant communion with Him is to lift up our hearts and minds toward Him. We can do this any time, anywhere—publicly or privately, planned or spontaneous, visibly or in our hearts only. God doesn’t demand that we spend hours at a time with Him in order to experience the refreshment of His presence. (Good thing, too, because otherwise, very few of us would ever get there.) He can and does begin to refresh our souls instantly, the moment we reach out to Him. Of course, He can also strengthen and refresh us at any moment, whether we’re in conscious communion with Him or not, but I believe that there is a special refreshment that comes when we seek Him purposely.

Are you stressed out with Christmas preparations? Are you frustrated with your children’s behavior? Are you overwhelmed with, well, life? Then you need refreshment.

Fortunately, it’s as close as He who lives inside your heart.

Acts 3:19—Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.

Experiencing Beauty

Timmy on trampolineA month or two ago, my husband and I bought our kids a trampoline for the back yard as an early Christmas present. Since then, the kids have used the trampoline almost every day—if not every day. Timmy loves the trampoline, too. He loves bouncing, jumping, and running in circles on it, giggling in delight.

The other day, I was sitting on our front porch watching Timmy play in the front yard. After a little while, he came up to me and said, “I want to go on the trampoline.”

“Okay,” I said. “Go ahead.”

“You can come, too,” Timmy offered hopefully.

“No, thank you,” I said. (Normally, I love the trampoline, but I was right in the middle of something.)

But Timmy didn’t give up. “Come on!” he pleaded. “It’s gonna be…beautiful!”

My heart melted. How could I refuse an invitation like that? “Okay!” I said enthusiastically, getting up to follow Timmy as he ran into the backyard.

And you know what? It was a beautiful time. The weather was great (about 70 degrees, despite its being the middle of December), and I got to spend some time with my precious son, see him enjoying the gift we had given him, and hear his delighted giggles.

If I hadn’t accepted his invitation, I would indeed have missed a beautiful time.

I wonder…how many beautiful times have I missed with God because I didn’t want to come along with Him?

God invites me (and you) to be with Him every day. To talk to Him, to bask in His presence, to learn from Him, to simply hang out together. If you regularly take advantage of the opportunities He offers you, great! But if you’re like me, and you sometimes miss the chance to spend time with Him because you’re too busy, or you aren’t paying attention and thus never hear His invitation, or you simply don’t want to go where He’s going, you’re missing out on something beautiful.

There is a beautiful component to everything God asks us to walk with Him through, but we don’t always see it. It’s too hard, we whine, or That doesn’t sound like fun, or I’m too busy. We consider the opportunity, and if there’s anything negative about it, we decline. True, we might avoid some of the negative aspects, but we also miss the “something beautiful” that God wanted us to delight in.

What beautiful thing does God want to show you in the midst of something difficult right now? What beauty does He want to bring out of circumstances that are challenging or even tragic?

Motherhood definitely falls in the “challenging” category sometimes (often?). You and I have the choice to focus either on the fact that the kids have been bickering all day and the laundry isn’t done and we’re tired, or on the beauty that is present even in the midst of the chaos. Beauty like the fact that we have wonderful children (even if they may not be acting wonderful right now), or like our children’s hugs or even those pictures they draw where you’re not sure what the object is, but they present the artwork to you with pride.

Maybe you’re struggling with health issues, with financial concerns, or with grief. Those things aren’t beautiful in and of themselves, but even in the midst of them, you can experience the beauty of God’s presence, close and intimate in ways He might not be apart from the difficult circumstances. Or maybe you’ll experience the beauty of friends coming alongside you, or of God’s unexpected provision.

I don’t claim to understand how God brings beauty out of ugliness. I just know that He does.

Nor do I claim to know exactly what kind of beauty God will bring from your situation. I just know that He will. How do I know? Because He’s promised.

Don’t stay focused on the negatives when God’s inviting you to experience beauty, when He says, “Come on! It’s going to be beautiful.”

Believe Him. Go look for the beauty.

Isaiah 61:3—To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

When You Just Can’t Get it Right

girl and broken vaseMy precious daughter Lindsey is a sweet, loving girl. She wants nothing more in life than to please and encourage others and have others delight in her right back. I literally almost never have discipline problems with her (at least not the kind where she misbehaved, but knew better).

One thing Lindsey does struggle with, however, is her tendency to knock things over, break things, or make an inadvertent mess. Part of it’s her ADHD; part of it’s because she’s such a physical kid; part’s because…who knows? She hates the fact that she does these things, because she never means to (and because she wants people to be happy with her). But she still struggles.

One day, while it was still early in the morning, Lindsey knocked something over. I reminded her to be careful and asked her to pick it up. A little while later, Lindsey did something else (I don’t even remember what, because it wasn’t a big deal to me), and I again reminded her to be careful.

“Sorry,” Lindsey said sadly. “I just can’t do anything right today.”

We’ve all felt like Lindsey. We’ve all known the frustration and discouragement of trying harder and harder, yet continuing to fail. To get it wrong. To let ourselves down (and maybe others).

What do we do then? How do we deal with it when our best efforts aren’t good enough?

We take the issue before God and ask Him if it really matters if we get it right. Sometimes, we beat ourselves up over things that don’t really matter. Does it really make a difference if we can’t throw birthday parties or holiday parties that look like they should be on Pinterest? Does it matter if we’re not as organized as someone else? Is it really a big deal if we’re not as talented, or pretty, or educated, or whatever as someone else?

Probably not. God will let us know if something really matters. And if it doesn’t, He’ll help us gain the right perspective on it and stop stressing ourselves out trying to attain a goal that isn’t all that important, anyway.

But if it does matter—if we really do need to be getting it right more often than we are—He’ll tell us that, too. And when He does, instead of focusing on ourselves (“I got it wrong again!”), we need to focus on Him (“Thank You, God, for Your perfect forgiveness”). We need to accept the forgiveness He offers us, believe that we have it, and try our best next time—without condemnation. After all, if He doesn’t condemn us, who are we to condemn ourselves?

I know it can be really hard to try “one more time” when we’ve already tried many times and failed most of them. But remember that we do not try in our own power, or alone. That’s because Jesus not only desires holy behavior from us, but He also gives us His strength and wisdom to achieve it and stands by us as we struggle.

My friend, you do not struggle alone. Satan would love to have you think that you do—that God is terribly displeased with you because you haven’t gotten it right yet. He doesn’t want you to know the truth, that as the precious Bride of Christ, you are no longer condemned. God doesn’t hate you, or even dislike you. He loves you madly and passionately, and that doesn’t change even when you sin. No, God doesn’t always like what you do, but he always loves you.

So the next time you mess up, instead of casting your eyes downward in defeat, lift them up, toward the One who’s given you the victory over sin. True, you’re not sinless yet, and won’t be until you reach heaven. But sin is no longer your master. You are no longer under its authority, and no longer condemned when you commit some act of wrongdoing.

When Satan tries to discourage you, you can say to him, “Yes, I did that, but I’m forgiven because of what Jesus did on the cross. Praise His name!”

Romans 8:1a—There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. (KJV)