July 2015

4 Ways to Teach Your Children to Respect You (And Why It Matters That You Do)

Megan Breedlove July 27, 2015 0Comment

respect Six weeks or so ago, our church held a week of Vacation Bible School. The church was full of kids of all ages, from nursery age to rising sixth graders. Children entering seventh grade or above served as youth aides, assigned to assist the adults in making things run smoothly.

One particular young man was especially polite and helpful. He always had a smile on his face, and whenever we asked him to do anything, he would say, “Yes, ma’am” and quickly take care of the task.

Those of us at the registration desk were truly impressed with him. “How did you become so polite and respectful?” someone asked him.

His answer was immediate. “My mom raised me right,” he said with a smile. “She’s amazing.”

One of our primary jobs as a parent is to teach our children to respect us, and not only us, but other human beings in general, and those in authority in particular. Without this respect for their fellow man and their leaders, children grow up to be careless, self-centered people who hurt others and don’t really care.

Worst of all, they grow up without a respect and reverence for God.

The Bible gives many examples of how human relationships are really a practicum in learning to relate to God. The Apostle John puts it even more bluntly, telling us that if we can’t treat other people right, we’re not going to be able to treat God right, either. In this case, John is talking about love, but the same principle applies to respect. We are liars, John would say, if we claim to respect God but have disrespectful attitudes toward other people.

So if we parents don’t teach our children to respect us, how will they ever learn to respect God? And that’s why teaching them to respect us is so important.

So here are four ways we can do that. These are not the only ways, of course, but they are a great start.

First, we can treat our children with respect. What does this have to do with teaching them to respect us? Simply this: kids don’t truly respect someone who treats them badly (adults don’t, either). They may fear that person, they may even obey that person, but they won’t truly respect her.

Second, we can be worthy of respect. It’s a lot easier for children to respect someone who deserves it. When we demonstrate integrity, when we work hard, when we treat others well, our children see that, and they respect that. Yes, children should respect our position of authority as their parents. But why would we want to make it hard for them by demanding respect for our authority but failing to earn the respect that comes with a life that deserves it?

Third, we can require respectful behavior from our children. We’ve all seen the mom who allows her children to use a disrespectful tone with her, to ignore her, or to hit her or even call her “stupid,” and doesn’t put a stop to the behavior. When we allow children to treat us like this, we teach them that doing so is okay.

Fourth, we can let our children see us showing respect to others. When we call other drivers names, deliberately disregard the rules a business sets in place, or treat someone condescendingly, our children learn that it’s not important to treat others with respect. They lose respect for us in another way, too, when they realize that we tell them they have to be respectful, but we act as if that principle doesn’t apply to us.

It’s not only for our benefit that we need to teach our children to be respectful, but for our children’s benefit. And not just so that they will be better received in society and have more friends, but so that they will learn to have the proper respect for God, which is vital to having a close relationship with Him.

Teaching children to learn Bible facts is right and good. But teaching them to respect us, and therefore, to be able to respect God?

Even better.

1 John 4:20—If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

What’s Really in the Box?

Megan Breedlove July 13, 2015 0Comment

treasure box Imagine you’re a seven-year-old child who has just received a gift from someone. You’re happy about that, of course. You thank the giver, and you open the box.

Now, imagine that inside the box is not just one gift, but a whole slew of gifts! You find a paint set, a craft kit, some candy, and ten or fifteen other cool-looking things. Now you’re not just happy, you’re delighted! You can hardly wait to begin playing with all your new stuff.

At least that’s how Jessica felt recently when she opened a box to find a treasure trove of gifts from a family friend. She was thrilled! As soon as she could, she opened the paint set.

Actually, she had to have me open the paints. The lids were stuck to the containers by hardened paint. When I finally got the lids open, Jessica discovered that inside the containers was…more dried paint. They were useless. (These were not the kind of paints you could simply add water to.)

Disappointed, Jessica moved on to the next item, a craft set that would help you turn an ordinary jar into a jar with a cute ladybug top. It came with googly eyes and everything. The only problem was…that the back had come off one of the googly eyes before she even touched it.

The candy? Most of it was melted into shapeless lumps that were stuck to the wrappers. The other items? Some of them worked. Others were broken or unusable.

I’m sure you can imagine Jessica’s disappointment when she realized that her awesome gift wasn’t as great as it had appeared to be at first. It was sweet of the giver to attempt to give her a nice gift. But the gift wasn’t what the giver had intended to give, I’m sure, and it wasn’t what Jessica had thought she was receiving.

There are other times in life, too, when we don’t get what we thought we were getting—when we expect something marvelous and find out that it’s really worthless, or maybe even harmful. I’m talking about when Satan gives us a beautifully wrapped gift that looks like everything we ever wanted, and we open it, only to find that what’s inside is dry and dead.

When do we accept gifts from Satan? When we believe his promises of glitter and perfection, despite the fact that they contradict God’s revealed word, or what we know He wants for our lives.

If you just keep nagging your husband, you can get him to change, Satan offers us. We gleefully accept, tear off the wrapping, and find that we’ve only undermined our marriage and made our entire household miserable.

If God really loved you, He’d be helping you more than He is now, Satan whispers. Go find your own means of making yourself feel better. So we do, only to find that at the end of the day, we feel much, much worse.

God’s plan for your life isn’t going to make you feel very good, Satan tells us. Look—here’s another plan that will be way more satisfying! The problem is, when we unwrap the promised satisfaction, we find that there’s nothing inside.

Friends, Satan’s whole purpose for your life is to destroy you, and/or use you to destroy others. He’ll tell you whatever he has to tell you to get you to go along with him. He’ll promise you the moon and the stars. He’ll convince you to follow, and when he’s through with you, he’ll leave you lying broken at the side of the road. And then he’ll go off to have a party while you’re left to pick up the pieces.

Is there any area of life in which you’re doing things your own way (or Satan’s way)? Any place you’re forsaking God’s commands and plans for something you think will be better or more satisfying?

Don’t let Satan trick you. There’s never a good gift inside the box. There’s only disappointment and shattered dreams.

Jesus offers you living water and eternal life. He can deliver, on both counts.

The devil offers you whatever your heart desires. But he can’t deliver, because he has no power to truly satisfy your soul.

Whose gifts will you truly seek after?

John 10:10—The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)

John 8:44b—When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (NIV)

1 Peter 5:8—Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (NIV)

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

Megan Breedlove July 6, 2015 0Comment

hotel room Have you ever looked around your house and wondered, Where in the world did I get all this stuff???

I have. On pretty much a daily basis. It’s true that a certain amount of stuff comes with having 2 adults and 5 kids living in the same house. But this much stuff? Really?

That’s why I LOVE hotels. Because there’s no stuff. You have the basics, and you make do, and everybody’s happy, as long as the cable TV is working. Which always makes me wonder, if I can be that happy with almost no stuff, then why do I still have all the stuff that’s in my house?

Which brings me to last weekend. Being as my husband can live with almost no stuff at all (he’s kind of a minimalist), and being as I wanted much less stuff, my husband took the kids down to his parents’ house for the weekend so that I could stay behind and Get. Rid. Of. Stuff.

Which I did. I spent the entire weekend, from Saturday morning until late Sunday afternoon, getting rid of stuff we didn’t need and rearranging what was left. I don’t think I actually cleaned much, but I sure did create a lot more blank space, which makes me go “Ahhhhhhh” every time my eyes light upon a spot where something used to be.

And do you know what? Not a single one of us has died. Nobody’s even gotten slightly ill. The only difference seems to be that now, our favorite charity has lots more nice things they can bless somebody with, and we have a lot fewer nice things, which makes it easier to keep the remaining things picked up and put away.

Sometimes less really is more.

Here’s the point (which God kind of just dropped in my lap, as He often does when making a point with me): we need to keep our spiritual “houses” equally clean and organized. We need to go through them and get rid of all the stuff we don’t need. Let’s get rid of the things that are destroying the peace of our “house,” find different uses for some things, and start using other things that have been sitting in the cabinets gathering dust.

What kind of things destroy the peace of our house? Unloving attitudes. Gossip. Impatience. A critical spirit. An ungrateful or complaining spirit. Demeaning or disrespectful talk. Unrighteous anger (which, let’s be honest, is 99% of the anger we feel).

What kinds of things do we need to find different uses for? How about turning our take-charge attitude into a way to bless others instead of a way to control them? How about turning our dissatisfaction with the world into a longing for heaven, where everything will be more perfect than we can imagine?

And let’s not forget to put some dusty things into use. Bibles, especially leather ones, especially heirloom leather ones, make great additions to a decorating scheme. But they work even better if they’re read regularly. And what about our ability to organize, or to speak in public, or to be creative, or to sing, or, or, or, that we haven’t exercised in a long time? Why not see what use God might want to make of it? After all, if He gives us an ability, there’s a reason.

What we’re going for here is, to have our spiritual houses cleared out of all the stuff that harms us or others, and to have the stuff that remains be in use and a blessing to someone.

Last week, I simply got some boxes and bags, loaded them full, and set them aside for donation. We can’t exactly do that with our spiritual houses. But here’s what we can do: we can ask God to go through our house with us (doing it on our own means we’re liable to throw out and/or keep the wrong things) and take away whatever doesn’t need to be there. Then we can ask Him to help us organize what remains so that it can bless the people He intends for it to bless—ourselves included.

Does your spiritual house need a cleaning? Unless you did it like 5 minutes ago, then, yes, it probably does. Because even when we clean them regularly, stuff still builds up, making another cleaning necessary. Let’s just assume that we could all use a little (or a lot!) cleaning of our spiritual house.

So let’s get to it! Unfortunately, our spiritual house won’t clean itself any more than our physical house will.

Colossians 3:8-9—But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices. (ESV)

July 2015

4 Ways to Teach Your Children to Respect You (And Why It Matters That You Do)

What’s Really in the Box?

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

You Missed

Priorities

I Wouldn’t Do That

Little Things

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