Manna For Moms

Devotions for Moms Like You!

2015

What’s Really in the Box?

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

treasure boxImagine you’re a seven-year-old child who has just received a gift from someone. You’re happy about that, of course. You thank the giver, and you open the box.

Now, imagine that inside the box is not just one gift, but a whole slew of gifts! You find a paint set, a craft kit, some candy, and ten or fifteen other cool-looking things. Now you’re not just happy, you’re delighted! You can hardly wait to begin playing with all your new stuff.

At least that’s how Jessica felt recently when she opened a box to find a treasure trove of gifts from a family friend. She was thrilled! As soon as she could, she opened the paint set.

Actually, she had to have me open the paints. The lids were stuck to the containers by hardened paint. When I finally got the lids open, Jessica discovered that inside the containers was…more dried paint. They were useless. (These were not the kind of paints you could simply add water to.)

Disappointed, Jessica moved on to the next item, a craft set that would help you turn an ordinary jar into a jar with a cute ladybug top. It came with googly eyes and everything. The only problem was…that the back had come off one of the googly eyes before she even touched it.

The candy? Most of it was melted into shapeless lumps that were stuck to the wrappers. The other items? Some of them worked. Others were broken or unusable.

I’m sure you can imagine Jessica’s disappointment when she realized that her awesome gift wasn’t as great as it had appeared to be at first. It was sweet of the giver to attempt to give her a nice gift. But the gift wasn’t what the giver had intended to give, I’m sure, and it wasn’t what Jessica had thought she was receiving.

There are other times in life, too, when we don’t get what we thought we were getting—when we expect something marvelous and find out that it’s really worthless, or maybe even harmful. I’m talking about when Satan gives us a beautifully wrapped gift that looks like everything we ever wanted, and we open it, only to find that what’s inside is dry and dead.

When do we accept gifts from Satan? When we believe his promises of glitter and perfection, despite the fact that they contradict God’s revealed word, or what we know He wants for our lives.

If you just keep nagging your husband, you can get him to change, Satan offers us. We gleefully accept, tear off the wrapping, and find that we’ve only undermined our marriage and made our entire household miserable.

If God really loved you, He’d be helping you more than He is now, Satan whispers. Go find your own means of making yourself feel better. So we do, only to find that at the end of the day, we feel much, much worse.

God’s plan for your life isn’t going to make you feel very good, Satan tells us. Look—here’s another plan that will be way more satisfying! The problem is, when we unwrap the promised satisfaction, we find that there’s nothing inside.

Friends, Satan’s whole purpose for your life is to destroy you, and/or use you to destroy others. He’ll tell you whatever he has to tell you to get you to go along with him. He’ll promise you the moon and the stars. He’ll convince you to follow, and when he’s through with you, he’ll leave you lying broken at the side of the road. And then he’ll go off to have a party while you’re left to pick up the pieces.

Is there any area of life in which you’re doing things your own way (or Satan’s way)? Any place you’re forsaking God’s commands and plans for something you think will be better or more satisfying?

Don’t let Satan trick you. There’s never a good gift inside the box. There’s only disappointment and shattered dreams.

Jesus offers you living water and eternal life. He can deliver, on both counts.

The devil offers you whatever your heart desires. But he can’t deliver, because he has no power to truly satisfy your soul.

Whose gifts will you truly seek after?

John 10:10—The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)

John 8:44b—When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (NIV)

1 Peter 5:8—Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (NIV)

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

hotel roomHave you ever looked around your house and wondered, Where in the world did I get all this stuff???

I have. On pretty much a daily basis. It’s true that a certain amount of stuff comes with having 2 adults and 5 kids living in the same house. But this much stuff? Really?

That’s why I LOVE hotels. Because there’s no stuff. You have the basics, and you make do, and everybody’s happy, as long as the cable TV is working. Which always makes me wonder, if I can be that happy with almost no stuff, then why do I still have all the stuff that’s in my house?

Which brings me to last weekend. Being as my husband can live with almost no stuff at all (he’s kind of a minimalist), and being as I wanted much less stuff, my husband took the kids down to his parents’ house for the weekend so that I could stay behind and Get. Rid. Of. Stuff.

Which I did. I spent the entire weekend, from Saturday morning until late Sunday afternoon, getting rid of stuff we didn’t need and rearranging what was left. I don’t think I actually cleaned much, but I sure did create a lot more blank space, which makes me go “Ahhhhhhh” every time my eyes light upon a spot where something used to be.

And do you know what? Not a single one of us has died. Nobody’s even gotten slightly ill. The only difference seems to be that now, our favorite charity has lots more nice things they can bless somebody with, and we have a lot fewer nice things, which makes it easier to keep the remaining things picked up and put away.

Sometimes less really is more.

Here’s the point (which God kind of just dropped in my lap, as He often does when making a point with me): we need to keep our spiritual “houses” equally clean and organized. We need to go through them and get rid of all the stuff we don’t need. Let’s get rid of the things that are destroying the peace of our “house,” find different uses for some things, and start using other things that have been sitting in the cabinets gathering dust.

What kind of things destroy the peace of our house? Unloving attitudes. Gossip. Impatience. A critical spirit. An ungrateful or complaining spirit. Demeaning or disrespectful talk. Unrighteous anger (which, let’s be honest, is 99% of the anger we feel).

What kinds of things do we need to find different uses for? How about turning our take-charge attitude into a way to bless others instead of a way to control them? How about turning our dissatisfaction with the world into a longing for heaven, where everything will be more perfect than we can imagine?

And let’s not forget to put some dusty things into use. Bibles, especially leather ones, especially heirloom leather ones, make great additions to a decorating scheme. But they work even better if they’re read regularly. And what about our ability to organize, or to speak in public, or to be creative, or to sing, or, or, or, that we haven’t exercised in a long time? Why not see what use God might want to make of it? After all, if He gives us an ability, there’s a reason.

What we’re going for here is, to have our spiritual houses cleared out of all the stuff that harms us or others, and to have the stuff that remains be in use and a blessing to someone.

Last week, I simply got some boxes and bags, loaded them full, and set them aside for donation. We can’t exactly do that with our spiritual houses. But here’s what we can do: we can ask God to go through our house with us (doing it on our own means we’re liable to throw out and/or keep the wrong things) and take away whatever doesn’t need to be there. Then we can ask Him to help us organize what remains so that it can bless the people He intends for it to bless—ourselves included.

Does your spiritual house need a cleaning? Unless you did it like 5 minutes ago, then, yes, it probably does. Because even when we clean them regularly, stuff still builds up, making another cleaning necessary. Let’s just assume that we could all use a little (or a lot!) cleaning of our spiritual house.

So let’s get to it! Unfortunately, our spiritual house won’t clean itself any more than our physical house will.

Colossians 3:8-9—But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices. (ESV)

Celebrating the Ultimate Father

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best dad everYesterday, on Father’s Day, I called my father and told him how much he meant to me. I posted a photo of us on Facebook with a caption that told him again that I loved him. I posted a tribute to my husband, who’s been the wonderful father I knew he would be, and a note of thanks and love to my father-in-law.

It wasn’t until late in the day that I realized I hadn’t honored or celebrated my heavenly Father.

Honoring the earthly fathers in my life is right and good. But forgetting—completely forgetting—to honor my heavenly Father?

You and I should honor God every day. It doesn’t necessarily have to come in the form of Facebook posts. It definitely isn’t going to come in pictures of Him holding us on His lap when we were little. (Wouldn’t that be nice?) But it should take place somehow. And not just because it’s Father’s Day. We should honor Him every day.

We need to take time to thank Him for being such a wonderful Father. To tell Him how much we love Him. To tell Him how much He meant and still means to us. To thank Him for all the things He’s done for us. To tell others we’re proud to have a Father like Him.

Maybe we didn’t have a close relationship with our earthly father, so thinking of God as our Father doesn’t stir up pleasant emotions. But remember this, as Louie Giglio has said: “God isn’t the reflection of your earthly father; He is the perfection of your earthly father.” Everything you can imagine you would want a father to be, God is that, times a billion. Celebrate His perfect love and caring for you, which you have the capacity to appreciate even more because of the lack of it from your human parent. Rejoice that He is everything you ever wanted a father to be. Celebrate Him for it.

Maybe we don’t feel particularly close to God. Let’s honor and celebrate Him anyway. If we wait for our feelings to bubble up before we praise Him, we’re not going to be saying very much, very often. We know the truth; let’s celebrate it and Him, no matter how we feel!

On the other hand, maybe we have a great relationship with God. Let’s tell Him how grateful we are! Let’s tell Him all the great things we love about Him. Don’t we love it when our children praise us for some quality? Let’s bless God’s heart by praising and thanking Him. He loves to hear from His children, too.

Let’s make it a point to honor God every day, not just when the calendar says it’s Father’s Day. Let’s celebrate Him and all of His wonderful goodness on a regular basis, not just when he does something “big”.

Why not begin right now?

Psalm 66:8—O bless our God, ye people, and make the voice of his praise to be heard. (KJV)

No More Sprinkles

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Donut without sprinklesI still remember what my favorite donut was when I was a little girl: the strawberry icing one at Dunkin’ Donuts. I loved that donut. I chose it every time I had the chance.

So I can understand Timmy’s love affair with chocolate sprinkle donuts. After all, they’re pretty good, too. Topped with chocolate and colorful sprinkles, what’s not to love?

Apparently…the cake part of the donut.

The other day, my husband stopped by our neighborhood bakery and brought home treats for all of us. Timmy, of course, got his chocolate sprinkle donut. He dug into it immediately, and I walked off, eating my own treat, and didn’t think any more about Timmy’s donut.

Until he came and found me and held out the remnants of his snack. “Do you want this?” he asked politely. “It doesn’t have sprinkles anymore.”

Indeed, it didn’t, except for a few stragglers near the inner hole. The rest of the sprinkles were gone—removed, presumably, by the teeth that left bite-shaped marks in the frosting and sheared off the barest smidgen of the top of the actual donut.

I found this rather amusing. Here, I ate off all the good stuff. So now that I’m through with it, do you want the boring stuff that’s left?

It’s amusing when a child offers us his leftovers. What’s not always so amusing is when you and I offer our children our leftovers.

I’m talking about leftovers like our leftover time, patience, and emotional energy.

Too often, we get our priorities way out of whack. We focus on something else to the exclusion (or near-exclusion) of the things or people that should be most important to us. And then all we’ve got to give them is whatever wasn’t swallowed up by something else.

Believe me, moms, I understand that some days it’s difficult to muster up the emotional energy to play Candy Land one more time. I know it can be hard to find the time to sit down with our children and really listen to whatever is on their little minds and hearts. I don’t work outside the home, but I had a career before becoming a stay-at-home mom, and I am well aware there are days when you just want to come home from work and have a peaceful evening, where nobody wants anything more from you.

When this happens occasionally, it’s usually not that big a deal. Our kids need to know that we’re people, too. That we get tired, too. We have needs, too.

But it does become a problem when giving our kids our leftovers is our standard way of living life. Our usual thing. Kids know where they rank in our affections.

Are you giving your children what they need? Are you pouring the best of yourself into their lives as often as you have opportunity?

Don’t give them a donut that you don’t want anymore.

Let them have the sprinkles, too.

Philippians 2:17—Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. (ESV)

When You Almost Miss a Blessing

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Kids at Texas Rangers Baseball GameLast week, my three middle children—Kenny, Lindsey, and Jessica—and I went to see a baseball game at Globe Life Park in Arlington, where the Texas Rangers play. Although I can’t quote you any statistics or tell you much about the history of baseball, I do understand quite a bit about how the game is played, including things like strategy and rules.

So I found it rather amusing when my kids, who know virtually nothing about baseball, began to make comments and ask questions about…well, about everything.

“Mommy, why are those lights green?”
“Why are people clapping?”
“Do these guys get paid for playing this game?”
“Look at that plane flying overhead!”
“What just happened?”
“See those birds on the field? Whose team are they on?”
“Mommy, will the fireworks (set off when a Ranger hits a home run) kill any birds?”
“Mommy, why is there all that extra space?” (She was referring to the outfield.)
“Tell me if anybody hits a home run.”
“When is somebody going to come by selling food?”
“Aren’t we going to hit ANY runs?”
“I don’t understand much about this game. You’ll have to explain it to me.”

Or the “Who’s-on-First” routine between Kenny and Lindsey:

Kenny (reading the scoreboard): “Robinson Chirinos grounded to short.”
Lindsey: “He’s grounded?”
Kenny: “Short.”
Lindsey: “Why??”

After awhile, though, the constant, stream-of-consciousness comments and questions began to annoy me. Could we not just watch the game??? What did the kids think we were there for, anyway?

Apparently, they thought we were there for five trips to the concession stands and/or bathrooms. When the oldest kid you have with you is only 10, if someone has to go potty or wants a drink, all of you have to get up and make the trek.

Actually, to be strictly accurate, only four of those trips occurred in the first nine innings. Yes, you read that right: first nine innings. Because my kids got an unexpected bonus when the game went into eleven innings.

“Kids, the game just went into extra innings,” I said.

“Woo hoo!” shouted nine-year-old Lindsey. “I’m not even tired! I’ve had too much sugar!”

By the bottom of the eleventh inning, we were sitting in the very top row of the stadium, because the kids had noticed that nobody else was up there, and they thought it would be “really cool” to sit up so high. So when a Rangers player got a base hit, driving in the winning run, we had several rows to ourselves as we cheered and then jammed to the celebratory music playing over the loudspeakers.

It was a fantastic time, and the kids had a blast.

But I almost missed it.

It’s not that I wasn’t on time for the game. It’s just that after the first few minutes of questions and comments from my children, I began to perfect the fake smile and fake polite tone of voice that you only use when you don’t really mean it, and when people are around who might very well hear you. I was really annoyed. The kids were interrupting my enjoyment of the game. I wanted to share my love of baseball with them, and they were paying attention to all the wrong things. I had paid for our evening with extra money I earned from babysitting my friends’ son, and my kids were ruining it for me. Or so I thought.

Until somewhere about the sixth or seventh inning when I realized something: the kids were having a great time. As in, a really great time.

And all of a sudden, I was brought up short once again by my own bad attitude.

My purpose in bringing my children to the game was to show them a good time. And they were, indeed, having a great time. It just didn’t look the way I expected it to look.

I wanted them to fall in love with the game; they wanted to enjoy every minute of everything that was going on—the amazing immensity of the stadium, the crowds, the junk food, the sounds, sights, smells, and new experiences. The delight of being somewhere special with someone you love.

And I almost missed a huge blessing of enjoying it with them, of enjoying them, because the experience wasn’t turning out quite like I thought it would.

God was offering me something beautiful, but because it wore other clothing than I expected it to wear, I almost didn’t recognize it.

I wonder how often you and I miss out on God’s blessings because we’re looking for one particular kind of blessing, and that’s not what God has in mind.

How often do we hope things turn out a certain way, and when they don’t, we say, “Well, there’s nothing to enjoy here”?

Perhaps you’re facing disappointment right now. Is it possible that, if you could see the situation through God’s eyes, you would count it a blessing?

May God open our eyes to all of His blessings, not just the ones that look like we expect.

John 1:16—From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. (NIV)

Dreaming Big

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

MountainThe other day, I was sitting at the computer when Timmy came into the room. “Do you want to sit on my lap?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” Timmy said as I helped him climb up. “I’m a mountain.”

“Okay, Mr. Mountain,” I said.

“Actually, I think I’m a bear,” Timmy said.

“Okay,” I said. (We’re flexible around here.)

“Or a dragon. Yeah. Mr. Dragon.”

I love how kids can pretend to be something else. Only in their minds, they’re not just pretending—they really are that thing. As far as Timmy knew, he really could be a mountain for a little while. Or a bear. Or a dragon.

Yeah, a dragon.

Which makes me wonder…when did we adults lose our ability to believe that being something else is possible?

As we grow up, we become more practical, and we realize that we’re never actually going to be an Olympic gymnast, or an actress, or a singer. This process is actually good. We need to be realistic about the abilities God has placed within us. But just because some dreams won’t come true doesn’t mean that we should stop dreaming entirely. All we need to do is replace our dreams with better ones, dreams that God births in our hearts or guides us to envision.

Maybe it is still possible to become an artist. Maybe God wants to bless you in a new career. Maybe He’s willing and eager to help you learn a new language, or finish that degree.

Or maybe it’s none of those things. Maybe the dream God wants to flourish in your heart is the dream of becoming the mom you always knew you could be. Maybe conquering a particular fear or insecurity is what God has in store for you. Maybe experiencing true joy on a regular basis is the dream God wants to make reality.

You’ve probably had to give up some of your dreams somewhere along the way. But God only asks you to give them up so He can replace them with something better.

Because the best dream is not necessarily the one we start out with, or the one we develop for ourselves. The best dream, the most satisfying one, is the one God dreams for us, and helps us dream it too. And then helps us make it reality.

What dream does God want you to dream with Him?

Jeremiah 29:11—“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

What Are You Asking God For?

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

PineappleAs far as I’m concerned, potty training is the worst part of parenting. Cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night? Not a problem. Changing overflowing, dirty diapers? No biggie. But trying to teach a child how to use the potty and then convince him to do so? The very thought makes me shudder.

So when my husband and I decided that it was finally time to potty train Timmy, our 3-year-old (he of the “Oh, no no no. I don’t want to” opinion on using the potty), I was ready to bribe him with whatever it took to make the process easier on all of us.

“Timmy, what do you think would be a good prize for learning to keep your underwear dry?” I asked.

“Um…fruit,” Timmy replied.

“Fruit??” I said.

“Yeah, fruit.”

“What kind of fruit?”

“Uh…a humongous pineapple,” he said.

“…Oooookay,” I said. “If you learn to keep your underwear dry, I will buy you a humongous pineapple.”

And I did. The next time I went to the store, I purchased the largest pineapple they had. As I pulled up in the driveway, Timmy met me on the porch, asking, “Did you buy my pineapple?”

“I sure did,” I said. Then I explained to him that the pineapple was for when he learned to use the potty. I set it on top of the microwave cart where he can easily see it.

Timmy was disappointed. He wanted that pineapple right then. “Can I hold it?” he asked hopefully.

“Not yet,” I said.

“Aww,” he said sadly, hanging his head.

When it came bedtime, Timmy wanted to know if he could sleep with the pineapple. The next day, he wanted to know if he could take it to church with him. Later on that afternoon, he asked again if he could just hold it. Each time, I reminded him what he has to do to earn the pineapple.

I had been ready to buy him just about anything he could think of, and spend quite a bit of our hard-earned money. But all he asked for was a $1.98 pineapple.

Here’s the point: you and I love and serve a God who has promised us incredible things. He’s told us He will pour out so many blessings upon us that we won’t be able to contain them all. He’s said if we ask Him anything in His name, He will do it (not “might”)! He’s promised us every spiritual blessing (not just “some”).

Yet we keep asking for pineapples.

God, please help me get through this day, we pray. That’s fine, because we need His help. But what about adding something bigger? What about, God, please bring me through this day victorious!

God, please help me get rid of my cold, we ask. That’s fine too, because it is God who heals us, and we should come to Him when we need healing. But if that’s as far as we go, we’re missing something. How about, God, please bring glory to Yourself through my body, whether in my sickness or in my health.

We pray for a new job, for our children to have friends, or for wisdom to know how to discipline them. All those things are good, right, and important. We should pray for them. We’re commanded to pray for them. But they’re pineapples.

What about asking God for the truly big things? Things like, Oh, God, conform me to the character of Jesus. Or, Father, show me how to decrease so that You can increase. Or even, Oh, God, in Your mercy, grant me the opportunity to display Your glory.

These are the big things. These are the things we could have, if we would only ask. Yet we keep asking for pineapples alone, because we think pineapples are the big things.

What big things does God have in store for you that you could receive if you would only ask?

You’ll never find out unless you…ask.

Malachi 3:10—Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the LORD of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need. (ESV)

John 14:14—If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. (ESV)

Ephesians 1:3—Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. (ESV)

James 4:2—Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. (KJV)

What Your Children Would Tell You If They Could

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Mother's Day CardI hope your children told you on Mother’s Day how much they love you. I know that if they gave you carefully printed cards expressing their love, those cards meant the world to you. And if they made you breakfast in bed, or served you in some special way, I’m sure your heart rejoiced, as mine did when my children did these things for me.

All these things—the cards, the gifts, the acts of service—are ways your children express love to you. But I thought that this Mother’s Day, it might bless your heart to look at all the other things your children would say to you, if they could.

Things like, Thank you for not getting mad when I spilled my milk all over the table and it dripped onto the floor. Instead of shaming me, you said, “These things happen,” and you helped me clean it up.

Or like, The other day, when I was sick, it was great to get to lie on the couch and watch movies. But the best thing of all was when you sat by me and stroked my forehead. Thank you.

Or Somehow, just when I’m running out of things to wear, clean clothes magically appear in my dresser drawers. I don’t know how that happens, but I bet you have something to do with it. Thank you…

Thank you for letting me crawl in bed with you in the middle of the night when I had a nightmare. When I’m scared, your arms are the place I most want to be…

Thank you for making my meals even when you were sick, because Daddy was at work and you knew I couldn’t do it myself. How would I eat if it weren’t for you?…

Thank you for teaching me the same things over and over, until I could master them…

The other day, you bought me new summer clothes, even though it meant that you didn’t get to buy yourself any. I’m grateful…

Thank you for potty training me. That’s got to be one of the most frustrating parts of parenting. But you stuck with me…

Thank you for cleaning up the same messes over and over again, sometimes only 30 seconds after you cleaned them up the first time…

Thank you for all those visits to the doctor and the ER, to make sure I stayed healthy…

Thank you for all the sleep, money, and free time you sacrificed so that I could have what I needed…

Thank you for taking me to the park, and pushing me endless times in the swing, because I begged, “More!”…

Thank you for teaching me how to be a good friend, and how to react when my friends aren’t good to me…

Thank you for that special smile that makes something inside me feel warm, fuzzy, and loved…

Thank you for being proud of me, and for showing it…

For putting my stick-figure drawings up on the refrigerator…

For all those times you did my hair…

For all those times you called me your handsome “little man”…

For all those birthday parties and Christmas presents and just-because celebrations…

For praying with me and for me, and for teaching me to pray…

For all those times you loved me more than you loved yourself…

For all the pictures you took of the special moments in my life…

For changing all my diapers…

For loving me well, even when I act wrongly…

For all the ways you’ve shown me who God is and how much He loves me, by the way you pour out your life for me…

I love you beyond words. I don’t know what I’d do without you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the greatest mom in the world. I know it bothers you that you’re not perfect. But it doesn’t bother me. Nobody’s perfect, Mommy. But you’re perfect to me.

These are the things your children would say to you if they could. But they don’t understand these things. They don’t know how to put what they feel into words.

Instead, they make you carefully printed cards and serve you breakfast in bed.

But they’re saying the same thing.

Proverbs 31:27-28a—[The excellent mom] looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. (ESV)

 

Well…You Know…

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Ellie's Dragon

I realize that when you attend a church worship service, the idea is that you’re supposed to pay attention. But sometimes, it’s difficult. Sometimes, you have other things on your mind. Maybe you get distracted by somebody in another pew. Or maybe, like at our church, they dim the lights (except those focusing on the pulpit) when the priest or pastor preaches, and you’re sitting there warm, comfortable, and tired, in semi-darkness.

Whatever the reason that it’s challenging to pay attention, I understand. I’ve been there before. So a couple weeks ago, when my 12-year-old daughter, Ellie, was doodling in her bulletin, I understood (especially since, like her, I often listen better while doing something else). Later, my husband found her bulletin and jokingly said, “Ellie, it looks like your mind was wandering during the sermon today.”

“I couldn’t help it!” Ellie said. “I found a pencil, and it was sharp, and well…you know…”

For an artist like Ellie, the allure of a sharpened pencil, some available paper, and twenty minutes of free time was too strong to resist. She drew a beautiful dragon (she’s interested in mythical creatures).

We talked with Ellie about the need to pay attention to the sermon. But we understood why she succumbed to the temptation. Because really, don’t we all give in to temptation for the same reason?

Temptation came my way, and it looked desirable, and well…you know….

Understandable, yes. But not okay. Because usually when we say things like this, we’re trying to justify or minimize our sin. Well, you know, when that kind of temptation arose, what else could I have done?

Those words are nothing but a lame excuse. Scripture tells us that there is always a way out of temptation (see 1 Corinthians 10:13). Yet you and I want to shift the blame for our sin from ourselves to our circumstances so that we don’t feel as bad for having done whatever it was that we did.

God is not fooled. He knows we are the ones responsible. We are the ones who ignored His way out (or didn’t even look for it) and chose to sin.

God promises to forgive our sin when we’re truly sorry. But the only way we can be truly sorry is if we acknowledge what we’ve done. The only thing that minimizing our sin can do for us is deaden our conscience. It can’t actually make us less guilty.

When we’ve sinned, we need to admit it. God, I blew it. Not, Well, God, You know what happens when I find myself in a situation like that.

Only by confessing and repenting of our sin can we find forgiveness and restoration. As long as we try to minimize anything or make excuses, we’ll never have the intimacy with God that our souls crave.

Intimacy that’s far more beneficial to our soul than a false sense of blamelessness.

1 John 1:8-9—If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJV)

It’s Not Your Fault

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Crested geckoTwo days ago, my daughters Jessica and Lindsey became the proud owners of one crested gecko each. “Gecky” and “Easy Cheese” now reside in large plastic containers, with a paper towel in the bottom, plenty of food, and some fake leaves/branches to climb on and hide in. My girls have done their research, and they know how to take care of their geckos. The thing they most like doing with their new pets, of course, is playing with them.

Both girls are very gentle with Gecky and Easy Cheese (so named because of the squiggly markings on her back), and they love those lizards a lot. That’s why it was absolutely devastating to Jessica when she realized that Easy Cheese had dropped her tail.

In case you aren’t very familiar with geckos (as I wasn’t, until recently), I’ll tell you that when a gecko drops its tail, it’s generally because the gecko feels stressed or threatened. Apparently, poor Easy Cheese was having difficulty adjusting to her new environment, despite Jessica’s tender, loving care and gentle play. And poor Jessica was sobbing, convinced that it was her fault Easy Cheese dropped her tail.

“I must have done something wrong,” she sobbed.

“No, sweetheart,” I explained. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” I reminded Jessica that she had been gentle and loving toward Easy Cheese. Yes, Easy Cheese got stressed out. But that didn’t mean it was Jessica’s fault.

“It’s like this,” I said. “You’re shy and sometimes nervous in new situations, right?” Jessica nodded. “Are you that way because I’ve done something wrong?” I asked.

Jessica looked confused. “No,” she said.

“Sweetie, Easy Cheese is just a nervous, shy little gecko. She has trouble adjusting to new situations, like you do sometimes. But that’s not your fault, anymore than it’s my fault that you’re shy. Does that make sense?”

Fortunately, it did. I went over this idea with her a few more times in some different ways, reassuring her that she hadn’t done anything wrong.

Don’t we as moms need someone to do that for us sometimes? To reassure us that whatever’s going on with our children isn’t the result of something we did wrong, or of bad or insufficient parenting?

Granted, sometimes we do mess up. We’re all well aware of that. But much of the time, our children’s difficulties or misbehaviors are not our fault. After all, our children make immature choices because they’re kids. They sin because they’re human. Why do we take the blame upon ourselves?

If I only knew the right discipline technique, I could make them stop this behavior. If I had only taught them better, they wouldn’t have made that choice.

Really, moms? Do we really imagine we can be so perfect that we can insure our children never make bad choices and never sin?

Again, yes, we are important influences on our children. And if we’ve sinned, or God has convicted us that we’re falling short in some area, then by all means, we should repent or make it right.

That doesn’t mean that every time we face an ongoing discipline issue, or every time our child struggles with peer relationships or self-esteem issues, that we should assume it’s our fault.

Are you struggling with something with your child right now? Have you been blaming yourself? If so, I encourage you to take it all to God. Ask Him whether there’s anything you need to do differently.

Just don’t buy into the idea that you can do things so differently that you can guarantee perfect results. Your children have free will, too. They’re imperfect, too.

There’s only been one perfect Parent, ever. And even His kids—us—are less than perfect.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming you can accomplish with your children what He hasn’t accomplished with His.

Ezekiel 18:20—The soul who sins is the one who will die. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him. (NIV)

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