Devotions

Doing What You’re Good At

Pinterest cakeI don’t spend much time on Pinterest (as in, none). One reason is that Facebook already sucks up enough of my time; another reason is that I know myself well enough to know that rarely (if ever) would I actually carry out any of the wonderfully elaborate ideas I found there.

This is partly because I’m not gifted in terms of making perfect-decorated birthday cakes or elaborate entryways, and I don’t need another project that probably isn’t going to turn out like I want it to. It’s also partly because I prefer to do things simply (I’m just not a detail person).

If Pinterest is your thing, fine. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s just not for me—which is also fine. It’s reasonable not to want to spend my time attempting things I’m not good at or not interested in.

What’s not fine, however, is if I fail to do the things I am good at and to make the best use of my abilities in those areas.

I may not be a Pinterest kind of gal, but I’m great at other things. You have things you’re great at, too. And God’s intention for both of us is that we use the abilities He’s given us to build up those we’re meant to serve.

There are several passages in Scripture that talk about how God has given each of us the gifts He chose for us. We’ve all received something, and God means for us to use it.

In the parable of the talents (see Matt. 25:14-30), a rich man going on a journey entrusts varying amounts of his money to each of three servants. Upon the rich man’s return, the man finds that the first two servants had used his money to make more money, and he is pleased. But the third servant had done nothing with his talent, instead hiding it in the ground and making no use of it whatsoever. This time, the master is not pleased at all.

What are the gifts and abilities God has given you? And what are you doing with them to benefit those around you, starting with your husband (if you’re married) and your children?

Maybe your talent is cooking. Are you purposely using it to benefit your family? I know you put food on the table when it’s mealtime. But have you thought of your cooking ability as a gift from God and asked Him to show you how you can offer the results of it to your family as a gift?

Maybe you can play the piano. Do you fill your home with music? Do you teach your kids to play (if they’re interested)? Do you make it a point to get your practice and playing-for-fun time in so that your family can be blessed by hearing you?

Or perhaps your talent is organizing things, or being patient, or thinking of fun things for your family to do, or reading stories out loud with funny or interesting character voices. Are you using your talent to bless your family?

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Sometimes, we don’t use our talents because we don’t realize we have them. If you’re not sure what your talents are, there are many ways you can find out. You can ask people who know you well and would be honest with you; you can take a spiritual gifts inventory; you can spend some time thinking about what you really enjoy doing; you can pray and ask God to show you. Whatever the way you go about it, if you doubt that you have talents, or think you probably do but don’t know what they are, find out. Make it a point to discover the special gifts and abilities God has put within you so that you can bless your family with them.

Other times, we don’t use our talents because we think they’re not much of a talent. We compare ourselves to others who have more “obvious” talents, such as the mom who can sing beautiful solos in church, and we conclude, “Well, my talent is really no big deal compared to that.” We couldn’t be more wrong! God doesn’t give gifts or talents that are junk. He gives them because they are special to Him, and He wants you to use them in the work of His kingdom. Just because someone else’s talent is more visible than yours, or just because your talent may have been belittled in the past, doesn’t mean that your talents are worthless. They aren’t! Would God give you only the abilities to do worthless things for His kingdom? Hardly!

Finally, sometimes we don’t use our talents because we’re either worn out or just plain lazy. We lack the “oomph” to do something about our talents. I hope you’re not letting your talents lie dormant just because you’re lazy (though, to be honest, we all have moments of laziness). If so, you’re doing a grave disservice to God and His kingdom, of which your family is a part. You’re depriving them of gifts God wants them to have. If laziness is the issue, repent! Ask God to forgive you and help you get up off the couch or off of Facebook and do something with your talents.

If being worn out or overwhelmed is the problem, believe me, I understand. There are times when it’s sheer craziness and exhaustion raising kids. When you’ve been up all night with a sick kid who keeps throwing up, you’re probably not going to have the energy to prepare a gourmet feast the next day. That’s okay. God understands that you can’t operate at peak efficiency all the time. After all, you are living in a human body with a human mind and spirit that all have limitations. But even in the midst of the chaos and hard work, He will make a way for you to use your gifts and talents for the benefit of others, because that is part of His plan for you. And He knows exactly how to tell you to do it without overburdening you.

So whatever your gift is—birthday parties, creative fun, teaching, compassion, service—use it. Don’t think you don’t have any talents, and once you know what they are, don’t let them lie dormant. Use them for the benefit of your family and God’s kingdom.

They’re waiting to be blessed by you.

Romans 12:6a—Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them. (ESV; emphasis added)

When You Really Need to See God

Spirit AirlinesOnly one flight away from reaching home after a week-long absence, I was waiting at the airport for my plane to arrive at the gate. I don’t mind waiting in airports; being by myself gives me a chance to, well, be by myself. I can read or surf the web for a little while without worrying about being interrupted.

But I knew my children were eager for me to be home. They had called me almost every evening during my absence, and that day (as my husband told me through text messaging) they were getting anxious to have me back. So when my plane pulled up to the gate, I took a picture of it, and I texted it to my husband so he could show it to the kids and tell them Mommy’s plane was almost ready to bring me home.

Megan selfieI expected to receive a text back from him that said something like, “Yay! They can’t wait!” But the text I got instead said, “They want to see a picture of YOU. Take a selfie.” So I managed to take a selfie that didn’t make me look like I was looking into a fun-house mirror (it’s always awkward to get the right angle), and I sent it.

I thought it was sweet that they wanted to see me, not just my plane. I understood why. When you miss somebody, you want to see the person herself, not just a picture of a metal tube with wings. When you long for someone, you want her presence, not just a shot of the vehicle that will bring her to you.

It’s the same way with God—only sometimes, we don’t realize it. Here’s what I mean: what we really need, spiritually speaking, is God’s presence. We need God Himself. The problem is that we sometimes think that what we really need are the benefits He provides—and His presence, while a nice add-on, isn’t strictly necessary.

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We couldn’t be more wrong. Yes, we need God’s strength, comfort, wisdom, and so on. But they are not commodities God dispenses apart from His presence. They only come to us when we are in His presence.

When you ask God for strength, and He gives it to you, it’s because God has shown up in your situation to help you handle it. When you weep for His comfort and receive it, it’s because God Himself is there, putting His arms around you. When you need wisdom to know what to do in a particular situation, and suddenly it’s there, that’s because God Himself is nearby, sharing His thoughts with you.

Never forget that God is a very personal, intimate God who longs for a deep relationship with you. How it must grieve Him when you—or I—desperately beseech Him for things He can do for us, never realizing that what we really need is He Himself. That’s what Jesus meant when He told His followers to seek God first, and they would not only have Him, but they would have everything else they needed.

Not only that, but God won’t just sort of mail His responses to you while He sits up in heaven somewhere, distant. He’s going to deliver them to you personally, which works out great, because what you really want is not merely the gift. You want God to show up, and that’s what He’s promised to do.

Don’t set your sights so low as to ask merely for the gift when you could have the Giver, too.

Matthew 6:33—But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (ESV)

Jeremiah 29:13-14a—You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD.

Trusting in the Right Things

Jessi in life jacketIt hasn’t been a very hot summer in our part of Texas this year. We’ve only had twelve days where the temperature has reached or exceeded one hundred degrees, as opposed to twice that many days (or more!). Nonetheless, there have been enough hot days that the kids and I have gotten to go to the water park at our local YMCA several times.

The kids love the water park, especially Jessica and Lindsey. (Ellie and Kenny prefer playing inside in the Youth Zone, where they can play video games for a couple hours; Timmy stays in the nursery.) I actually love it, too. It’s fun to watch Lindsey perform swimming feats for me or to take Jessica into the deep end and play with her there.

When we go into the deep end, Jessica wears a life jacket. That way, she can do some “swimming” on her own (with me right next to her) and not be afraid she’ll sink. She wasn’t always so confident, though.

At first, even with a life jacket, Jessica wouldn’t allow me to take my hands off of her. I explained to her multiple times that with the life jacket on and Mommy right next to her, it was impossible for her to drown.

Jessica tried to have courage. “Let go,” she would say, and so I’d release her from my arms. Almost immediately, she would panic and reach for me again, relaxing only when she felt my arms around her.

She knew in her head that the life jacket would keep her afloat, but she still didn’t really trust it.

We’re like that with God, too, sometimes, aren’t we? We know in our heads that He’ll take care of us, but we still don’t really trust Him. Even though we have God within us, just as Jessica had the life jacket all around her, when we panic, we still reach for other things to provide the reassurance and security that we crave.

We don’t trust Him to be enough.

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It’s not that there’s anything wrong with receiving comfort from friends and family when we’re in need. The problem comes in when we rely more on them than we do on God. When we trust people to do a better job of sustaining us in our troubles than God will.

The only thing is that in order to learn to rely on God, you have to practice. Just as Jessica had to keep practicing with the help of the life jacket alone, so we need to keep practicing relying on God so that we can learn by experience that He will, indeed, keep us afloat. That’s why so many people don’t have a soul-deep trust in God: they’ve never cast themselves completely upon Him. They’ve never given Him the chance to prove that He can—and will!—bear them up. They’ve left that job primarily to other people, things, or situations. Then, when their troubles pass, their relationship with God isn’t much deeper than it was before, because He hasn’t done much for them (or so they think).

Trusting can be scary—at first. It’s not easy to trust something or someone new. But when you learn that that person or thing really is trustworthy, it’s not scary at all.

I told you earlier that Jessica no longer has a fear of letting go of me, as long as she is wearing the life jacket. That’s because she’s had enough experience with it that she trusts it. Her believe that it would support her became not just something she assented to in her head because Mommy said so, but something she has lived.

Are you living with God supporting you today? Am I? Or are we relying more on other people or things? Our trust in God will never grow as long as we look primarily to other things to comfort or sustain us.

The only way to grow our trust in God is to practice trusting Him. That means letting Him bear more of the “weight” of our troubles and watching Him handle it well.

Are you willing to cast yourself completely upon Him, spiritually speaking, and let Him support you? I don’t know the details of your situation, but I do know God, so I can guarantee you this: You won’t be disappointed.

Psalm 91:4—He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. (ESV)

Protecting Your Weak Areas

My 2-year-old son Timmy loves to climb. Something’s up too high for him to reach? No problem! He’ll simply pull a stepstool or dining room chair over to whatever he wants to reach and climb up to it. He also climbs up on the bathroom vanity without using a stool (he has incredible upper body strength) so that he can stand on it and reach into the medicine cabinet for his toothbrush and Elmo toothpaste. And he loves to climb onto the top of the plastic playhouse we have in the yard.

The only thing is, you can’t help him when he’s climbing. “I do it myself!” he shouts if you try to help him. (In fact, that’s one of my discipline techniques with him. I say, “Timmy, you better do such-and-such right now, or…Mommy’s going to help you!”)

The other day, I was sitting at the computer, and Timmy wanted onto my lap. He climbed over the arm of the chair and onto my lap, wedging himself between me and the keyboard. He was content there for awhile, and then, he wanted to get down. All by himself, of course.

But as he got down, he stumbled, and the sharp edge of the keyboard tray caught him in the belly. As his weight carried him downward to the floor, the tray left him with a three-inch-long, red scrape.

Poor Timmy. He cried, of course, and I comforted him. I felt sorry for him, getting wounded in such a tender area.

And the thought came to me that this is exactly how Satan approaches us to tempt us: at our most tender area. In other words, where we’re weakest.

Satan doesn’t waste his time trying to tempt me to rob a bank. I don’t have any desire to do that, and that particular temptation would be easy for me to resist. Neither does Satan spend any time trying to tempt me to steal a car. I don’t want to steal a car, and it’s not something I’m likely to ever do. I’m strong in these two areas.

On the other hand, Satan knows very well that I’m much weaker in other areas, and that’s where he focuses his time. I’m much more likely to take the bait when the temptation involves such things as being impatient with my children, being lazy with housework, or being selfish.

We all have weak areas, and we all have strong areas. Maybe you’re not at all likely to murder someone, or embezzle from your company, or sell drugs to schoolchildren. Oh, but Satan knows that you are likely—perhaps even very likely—to disrespect your husband, purposely disobey traffic laws, or gossip. And he’s going to spend his time trying to hit you in those areas, where he can see more results for his work.

You and I are in a battle. It’s a spiritual battle. Make no mistake about it: the forces of evil are very real and are battling for our obedience. While it’s true that once we become Christians, evil can no longer have our souls, it’s also true that Satan’s mission is to utterly destroy us and our Christian witness.

Yet we don’t protect ourselves as we should.

Chain mail armorWe’ve all seen pictures—whether on television or in the newspapers—of SWAT teams ready for action. They carry weapons and protective gear so they can successfully carry out their mission. Their body armor is concentrated on a human being’s most vulnerable areas—the head and the chest.

Likewise, you and I need to fortify the areas in which we are spiritually vulnerable. Ephesians 6 cautions us in this regard and then gives us a list of all the ways we can do this. Do you know what these ways are? Are you regularly putting them into practice in your life?

If not, you’re leaving yourself spiritually unprotected and vulnerable to the enemy’s attack.

The good news is that God has provided armor that is sufficient to protect you from the devils schemes against you. This armor is free of charge—but it’s not automatic. You don’t find yourself automatically clothed with this armor (except salvation) just because you are a Christian. You must decide to put it on, and then take action.

Will you do it?
John 10:10—“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (ESV)

Ephesians 6:11-13— Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. (ESV)

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Created by God

origami craneMy 9-year-old son Kenny has recently developed an interest in origami. He loves checking out how-to books from the library and spending hours at home folding square papers into intricate creations. He’s really good at looking at the instructions and then producing the desired outcome.

I, on the other hand, am not. Recently, Kenny tried to teach me to make an origami crane. I tried—really, I did—but I kept getting lost or doing something wrong. “Well, that’s okay. It’s only your first try,” Kenny would say. Or, “Well, that’s one way to do it. But how about you do it like this?”

I admire his abilities, especially since they are in an area in which I am not skilled. I also admire the amount of effort and persistence it takes to produce a whole dining room table full of creations, and then some.

But as impressive as Kenny’s abilities are in creating his works of art, God’s abilities in creating you and me are even more impressive.

After all, God started with nothing. No instructions, no raw materials. He uses the process of two tiny cells coming together, but it is ultimately He who grants life to the combination of cells, thereby forming a person. And He is the One who arranges for the exact combination of DNA to occur in order to produce the human being He wants to create.

Your life was not an accident.

Your particular combination of genetics, skills, and personality is not an accident.

Nor were they determined by your earthly mother and Father.

They were ordained—chosen, appointed—by God.

Just as Kenny sets out to create something he has in mind, God set out to create you. In fact, He had you in mind since before the world began. Then, at just the right time, He caused just the right DNA to combine to create the you He wanted you to be, and He breathed life into that teeny, tiny one-celled human being.

Some of you may have grown up being told that you are nothing special. Maybe you were rejected not by your parents, but by a friend, family member, or even spouse. But God didn’t think of you before the foundation of the world, and then go to all the trouble to make you just as He did, because He was creating junk. He created you according to the design of His infinite creativity and declared you to be a marvelous creation.

You, precious mom, were designed and brought to life by God. You have the particular qualities and characteristics that you do because He made you that way. Why? Two reasons. First, He has a plan for you and your life, and He made you according to the exact specifications necessary to enable you to fulfill that plan. And second—and I hope this touches you deep in your heart, just as it touches me—He wanted an intimate relationship with a person like you.

Have you ever thought about that? That God wanted a relationship with someone just like you? It’s true. No one else in this world will relate to God in exactly the same way you will, and that’s by His design.

What an incredible thought—that Almighty God, who doesn’t need anybody, wanted you and me.

Think about that this week. Let it sink into your soul.

Psalm 139:14—I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

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What God Says to You

Bible heartEvery night, when I put my kids to bed, I pray for them. I make sure they’re all settled in, and then, as I leave the room, I say, “Hey, you know what? You’re a great kid, and I love you, and God loves you!” (I want those words to be the last they hear from me at the end of each day. Plus, it’s a great reminder as they go off to sleep.)

The other night, I had put Timmy in his crib, made sure he had his sport cup tucked in with him, and covered him with his blanket. I stroked his head, preparing to begin my prayer for him, which I usually begin the same way (and which I’ve heard him quote before). “What does Mommy say?” I asked him.

“’No, Timmy! No!’” Timmy responded matter-of-factly.

I couldn’t help but laugh. As an active two-year-old, Timmy does indeed hear some variation of those words several times a day. He loves exploring and getting into things, and sometimes, he wants to mix into things that aren’t good for him. When that happens, I have to tell him no.

Nonetheless, his answer made me laugh, because it wasn’t the answer I was expecting (accurate though it was). It also made me think.

You and I both know that what we say to our children on a regular basis is going to get stuck in their heads. God understands this principle, too (of course), and He uses it in a positive way to try to get His words into our minds and hearts.

Just look at the Bible. Over and over in the Bible, God tells us how much He loves us. He tells us repeatedly how special we are to Him.

Why does He do this? Because He forgot He said it before? Hardly. He repeats Himself because He knows that if He only says it once, we’re not going to get it. We need to hear it time after time in order to even begin to absorb it.

If God were to ask us, “What do I say to you?” He would want us to respond, “You say, ‘I love you!’” He wants this knowledge of His love so to pervade our minds and hearts that we’re always thinking about it—and so that when those other voices come, telling us that we’re worthless, we’ll realize they are not His voice.

As if it weren’t enough for God to tell us over and over in the Old Testament that He loves us, He also sent His Son down here to show us. Then, in the New Testament, He tells us some more. “I love you! I love you! I love you!”

This is the message He wants us to hear playing in our heads when we think of Him. So He tells us over and over in Scripture, He sends His Son to show us, and He continues to tell us throughout our days, in thousands of ordinary ways.

If God tries to communicate this message to you so many times and in so many different ways, don’t you think it must be pretty important to Him? The reason it’s so important is that He wants you to know what He is like, to feel deeply, passionately loved, and to therefore desire a relationship with Him.

I encourage you to spend some time this week—today, even—meditating on God’s love for you. Get your Bible out, and look up some passages that talk about how much God loves you. (If you’re not sure how to do that, there are some great topical concordances online that can help.) No matter where you are in your understanding of God’s love, this practice of meditating on what He has said to you will help you record these words in your mind and heart so that they’ll play back when you need them, and sometimes even for no particular occasion except that God wants to send you a “love note” right then.

The Bible is all about God’s love for you and desire for an intimate relationship with you. Shouldn’t you spend some time thinking about what it says?

Romans 5:5b—God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (ESV)

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Are You Ready to Get Going?

Go signalWhen you have an almost-two-and-a-half-year-old who is very aware of what is going on around him, there’s no such thing as leaving the house by yourself. Not unless you possess military-level skills for avoiding detection, that is.

Timmy loves to go o-u-t-s-i-d-e. If he sees me gathering up my purse, or even putting on shoes, he asks, “Where going, Mommy?”

If he hears me and my husband talking about my running out to do some errands, and one of us mistakenly says the word “go” loud enough that Timmy can hear it, he says, “Wanna go too!”

Sometimes, even when told he can’t go, Timmy will go find his sandals and struggle to put them on. Or if someone else’s shoes are handy (like one of his sisters’ pairs of dress shoes), he will put those shoes on instead. Whatever. He’s flexible. All he cares about is showing that he’s ready to go because he has shoes.

Timmy doesn’t even need to know where I’m going. Anywhere is good enough. The mere knowledge that I’m going places—anywhere at all—is enough for him. If I’m going, he wants to go too. And if I invite him to go with me, he gets even more excited.

I bet God would love it if we as moms were always equally ready to go where He is going in our lives.

Too often, when we realize that God wants to take us somewhere, we demand to know all the details before setting out so we can decide whether we want to go. If the details meet with our approval, then sure, we’ll accompany Him. If not—or if He won’t give us all the details in advance—we’re reluctant to follow Him out the door. We might even refuse.

But when God is moving in our lives, we should be excited to go with Him—not reluctant or fearful, and certainly not unwilling. True, sometimes God takes us through circumstances that are not pleasant. But if we’re only willing to follow when we know in advance that the road ahead is going to be smooth, what kind of relationship do we really have with Him? Certainly not one of trust in His care and provision for us on the way, and definitely not one that recognizes Him as the supreme authority to decide what’s good or necessary for our lives.

When we insist upon knowing all the details in advance, or when we’re reluctant to go with Him because it might involve something unpleasant, that’s equivalent to making our own desires and comfort a higher priority than His desires. And that’s completely, 100%, wrong.

Not just because we’re wrong to put ourselves before God (though certainly that). But also because going with Him, even through less-than-pleasing circumstances, is far better than staying behind. We would never say that we believe living distant from God is better than being with Him, but our actions and attitudes show it to be true.

What matters most to you in life? Is it your own comfort and ease? Or is it an intimate relationship with your Creator and Savior?

If it’s the former, let me tell you this: by seeking your own joy, you’re going to lose it. But if it’s the latter, let me assure you that you will never go on any greater, more fantastic adventure than accompanying God somewhere.

Are you ready to get going?

Isaiah 6:8—And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” (NIV)

Luke 17:33—Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. (ESV)

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When You’re Tempted to Be Discontent

no broccoliYou can’t please everyone.

This is especially true when you are serving dinner to your children. With each child you have, the odds increase that somebody isn’t going to like what’s served. Even if you only have one child, it’s entirely possible that what he or she liked the last time you served it may get a very different approval rating this time.

So, if you’re like our family, you have had to try to teach your children how to be polite about something they don’t like. Of course, your kids will put their own spin on your instructions, and you will wind up hearing comments like this recent one from Ellie, when I had prepared a ham-yam-pineapple dish: “I really like it. Except for the ham. And the yams. And, well, the pineapple.”

Or this one from Jessica: “Can I have a cheese rollup too? Except without any cheese, but with peanut butter.”

Kids in general (though there are certainly exceptions) seem to have a relatively narrow range of likes and dislikes related to food. If what you serve falls between those parameters (which, by the way, change frequently and without warning), all is well. But if not?

To paraphrase a slogan I recently read on Facebook, “There is no fury like that of a toddler whose sandwich you cut into squares when he wanted triangles.”

Kids can be pretty picky sometimes. If your children aren’t, and will actually eat things like onions and mushrooms without implying that you are trying to kill them, then you are truly blessed. But for most of us, the truism “Children are picky eaters” will, indeed, ring true.

Unfortunately, you and I as moms are sometimes equally picky in terms of what we want out of life, and even out of God. God offers us something that is perfectly good for us, and we want to modify it or refuse it entirely. It’s one thing to make our own choice when God lets us choose, which He does sometimes do. It’s another thing entirely to act as if God must fashion our circumstances according to our demands.

We are not the ones in authority—the ones with perfect knowledge of everything, past, present, and future. We are not the ones capable of determining what’s best for us, or what’s necessary for God’s plan for our lives to work out right. Yet we act as if God has done us a disservice by allowing some unpleasant circumstance into our lives.

I’m not suggesting that we should never pray and ask God to change our circumstances. Even Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, beseeching God to stop what was going to happen if it was at all possible. The Apostle Paul prayed three times, asking God to remove some unnamed thing that was tormenting him. At various places in Scripture, we are commanded to pray or to bring our requests before God.

The problem is not in asking God to heal us from sickness or to provide for our financial needs. The problem comes when we act like God is required to please us and conform our circumstances to our liking, and if He doesn’t, we’re not going to accept them.

But who are we to determine what is best for us? Is it not rather Almighty God, who is our Creator and Sustainer?

Is there something in your life right now that you’re refusing to accept from God’s hand? Something where God has told you, “This is the way it has to be for now”?

Don’t fight Him. Nothing good can come of striving against the Almighty. You will lose—and you will miss out on the blessings you could have had along the way.

Job 38:18—Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. (NIV)

Isaiah 55:9—As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (NIV)

Isaiah 29:16—You turn things upside down! Shall the potter be regarded as the clay, that the thing made should say of its maker, “He did not make me”; or the thing formed say of him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?

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When You’re Tempted to Complain

Meh catSometimes, having a good attitude is hard.

At least, it was hard for Ellie on a day not long ago. Several things didn’t go her way, and as each one happened, she complained. I could understand how she felt (I’m often tempted to complain, too, when things don’t go as I would like), but I knew I needed to say something to her.

Of course, I thought later of better and more articulate ways I could have handled the situation. But what I said at the time was, “Ellie, you need to stop complaining. If you’re really having a bad day, you can come talk to me about it. But don’t just go around being negative.” (I got it sort of right.)

Fast forward to yesterday morning, when Ellie said to me, “Mom, the last few days haven’t been going right at all for me. Can we talk about them? You told me to come to you instead of just complaining.”

I was pleased that she was making the effort to properly handle the temptation to complain. Of course, I made time to talk to her and let her voice her concerns. We talked about what she could do about them, as well as things I could do that would be helpful to her. Instead of spreading a cloud of negativity over our home because of her feelings about the past few days, Ellie did the right thing and chose to bring her concerns to someone (me) who would listen to her and help her with them.

It’s the same thing you and I need to do when we’re tempted to complain. We need to bring our concerns to someone who loves us and will help us deal with them. And while it’s marvelous to have human friends, family, or clergy who will listen to us when we have a need, it’s even better to have God.

The only problem is, you and I don’t take advantage of His willingness to listen as often as we should (which is every time). Instead of taking our concerns to God and asking Him to help us deal with them, we too often resort to complaining— venting our frustrations into the air, to whomever happens to be listening.

Now please don’t misunderstand me: I’m not suggesting that we should never tell anyone what’s bothering us, or pretend like everything’s fine when it isn’t. Far from it. In fact, one reason God gives us friends and family, as well as a community of Christian believers, is so we can help bear one another’s burdens. But there’s a difference between the kind of complaining the Bible forbids, and talking out what’s bothering us, in the way God meant for us to do, with someone we trust.

It’s okay to talk about our concerns with someone when we need help dealing with what’s going on. When we’re stressed or overloaded (and every mom experiences this at times), we need someone to hear us and help us figure out how to handle it. That’s fine. What isn’t fine is when we complain, finding fault with the circumstances God has allowed into our lives, with no real goal in mind other than just spewing out our negativity and (we think) relieving some of our tension for now.

In the first case, even if we have another human being to walk through our troubles with us, we still need to take them before God and talk to Him about them. After all, He’s the One who can give us the best help. He allowed those circumstances into our lives and intends to walk through them with us and bring a particular kind of good out of them.

In the second case—when really, all we want to do is be negative—it’s far better to take our complaints to God than to vent them on other people. He alone can change our heart in regard to the circumstances He’s allowed and grant us His perspective. Not only that, but He can provide stress relief for us that’s far better than the small and temporary relief we get by spewing out negativity.

The next time you’re tempted to complain, think about it this way: Do you have some things going on in your life that you need help dealing with? Fine. Talk to God about them, and find a human being you love and trust to talk to. Or do you not really want help, but just want to complain about the unfairness of it all? Take that to God too. Ask Him to change your heart and perspective.

He can, and He will, in ways that mere complaining will never do.

Philippians 2:14—Do everything without complaining or arguing. (NIV)

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When You’ve Been with Jesus

Timmy Dirty ShirtEarly that morning, my husband dressed Timmy, our two-year-old, in shorts and a short-sleeved, navy blue polo shirt. Timmy looked neat and clean (and handsome, I might add). But only a few hours later—by midmorning—the front of Timmy’s shirt was no longer pristine.

Brightly-colored flecks of Play-Doh dotted the blue cotton, visible reminders of our playtime. There were also spots of oatmeal from Timmy’s breakfast that somehow got rubbed deeper into his shirt as I was trying to clean them off. And there was dirt from our front yard because (in my experience, at least) little boys can’t play outside without getting dirty.

As I looked at those specks and splotches, I realized that it would have been obvious even to a stranger what Timmy had been involved with that day. And the thought hit me—do you and I as moms have equally clear evidence in our lives that we have been with Jesus?

Peter and John—the disciples of our Lord—had lives that clearly bore that evidence. Oh, it took them time to grow in their faith, just as it takes us. But by the time they stood before Jewish leaders and answered the leaders’ questions, their courage had become so great that it was astonishingly obvious to those men that Peter and John had been with Jesus (see the complete story in Acts 4).

What evidence do you and I bear in our lives that we have been with Jesus?

Or maybe even before that, we need to ask ourselves, Have we been with Jesus?

If you’re not a Christian, then no, you don’t have a personal relationship with Him. (Please contact me; I’d love to introduce you to my Best Friend.) But if you are a Christian, you should be spending time with Him on a regular basis. Things like prayer, Bible study, and Christian fellowship should be a regular, vital part of your life, because in these ways, you encounter Jesus.

When you do—when you spend regular time with the Lord—it will be obvious in your life. There will be evidence.

One of the ways I’ve matured as I’ve grown in my relationship with Jesus is in my compassion and love for others. Perhaps you will grow the same way as you spend time with Him. Or maybe you’ll grow in other character qualities—patience or joy, for example. Maybe, like Peter and John, you will develop a divinely inspired courage. Maybe you’ll learn to control your tongue better and speak only what is helpful for building others up and benefiting those who listen (see Eph. 4:29).

Christ shining through you might look different in some ways from the way he shines through me, your best friend, or anybody else. That’s fine. One reason God made us all different is to that we can reflect different facets of His glory. But be assured that when you spend time with Jesus, He will shine through.

You won’t be able to help but be changed as you grow in your relationship with Him. That’s because no one who truly encounters Jesus can ever be the same. And to the extent that you encounter Him, the evidence will show forth in your life.

Have you been with Jesus enough that the evidence is clear?

Acts 4:13—When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. (NIV)

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