“H, I, J, K, L, O…H, I, K…H, I, J, K, L, M, O…L, M, O, P….”
I sat next to my daughter on her bed as she did her best to sing me the Alphabet Song. I had sung her two songs from her book in place of a bedtime story, and now, she wanted to sing me one. Only…it wasn’t going smoothly.
“Q, R, X….”
She knew the song by heart, but she was struggling, index finger extended, to point to each letter in the book as she sang it. For some reason, she kept making mistakes, and each time she did, she would start over.
As I sat watching and listening to her struggle to do something she knew she should have been able to do, I was struck by the parallels to my life as a mom.
Sometimes, I make mistakes—repeated mistakes, even—on things I know I should be able to get right. I snap at the children. I hurry them along when I should stop and take time to look at that interesting rock. I punish them for things that aren’t wrong, exactly, just a result of being their age. Or, worse, I fail to hear the cry of their hearts and only hear their voices grating on my nerves, and I react.
Those times are when I wish I could have a do-over. You remember “do-overs” from childhood—those blessed opportunities where you got to pretend your mistake never happened and do the whole thing again, getting it right this time. Best of all, everyone else would pretend like your mistake never happened, too. After the do-over, you could proceed with an unblemished record and no negative effects to anyone.
Don’t you wish that as mommies, we could have do-overs? That when we do something we know we shouldn’t, we could be certain that the effects were permanently wiped away from our child’s precious spirit?
Friend, let me tell you something. You and I both know that what is said can’t be unsaid, and what is done can’t be undone. But praise God, we also know that in Christ, there are do-overs.
If you have acknowledged your sin to Christ and have repented of it, acknowledging Him as your Lord and Savior, then you have been given the biggest do-over of all. But it doesn’t stop there. Christ didn’t come to wipe away only the guilt for the sins we committed before being saved. He wiped away the guilt for later sins, too. If we repent of our sins—in other words, confess them and turn from them—God will forgive us. It’s another do-over. We can wipe the slate clean and start again.
As Ellie tried and tried again to get it right, she awarded herself as many do-overs as necessary. Finally, she did succeed. She got the whole alphabet right, all the way through. And then, you know what? She moved on. She didn’t condemn herself for not having gotten it right the first several times, or for needing—and using—do-overs. Instead, she simply kept “keeping on” until she accomplished what she knew she could do.
Why don’t we as moms do that? Why do we decide to condemn ourselves for not getting it right the first few times? True, sin is sin and should never be taken lightly. It should be repented of and confessed. But after that’s done, why stay there wallowing in guilt that no longer exists? Why not just move on—to the next day, the next opportunity, the next activity?
You know, the way we move on after sin in our lives will teach our children a lot about the God they will hopefully one day serve. If our children see us repenting of and confessing our sin, then moving on as if forgiveness is a reality, they will learn to do the same. If they see us living as if we are unforgiven, they will learn that forgiveness is nothing more than a “church word” that doesn’t apply to real life.
So the next time you get the letters out of order, before you try again, stop and confess your failure to God. Ask for his forgiveness. And then move on, towards the letter Z. With his help, you’ll make it through.
1 John 1:9—If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to purify us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 8:1—Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.