Recently, my oldest child, Ellie, turned 9. It’s been 9 years (plus a few days now) since I held my firstborn in my arms and embarked on this incredible, intense, crazy journey called motherhood. 9 years that seem like a mere week.
And if she’s 9, that means she’s halfway to leaving home and going to college (at least, if that’s the life track God has for her). I’ve already had half of the time I will have with her before she’s an adult.
That thought causes me to rejoice and breaks my heart at the same time. Sure, I want her to grow and develop as God meant her to and to have the life experiences He designed for her to experience. But I’m going to miss her when she’s not here every day. What will I do without my precious Ellie a constant, joyful, delightful presence in my life?
Okay, so maybe it’s too soon to start worrying about that. I’ll have plenty of time as she gets even closer to 18 to contemplate those things. But it’s not too soon to start wondering how well I’ve prepared her for life on her own and to make sure I’m doing the best job I can. In fact, it’s time right now, and has always been time. I don’t want her to turn 18 before I wake up to the fact that I need to be teaching her how to pray, how to love, how to defend herself, how to manage her money, how to deal with loneliness, how to serve others. I want to start well in advance of the time she will close the door to her dorm room and my husband and I will turn around and walk back down the hall and outside to our car.
I need to be proactive now. I need to parent with a purpose so that I give her not only the best possible start in life but also the greatest chance to become the person God meant for her to be.
In other words, I need to parent her like God parents me.
God has had a plan for my life since before the creation of the world. He has known exactly who He wants me to be and how He intends for me to get there. He knows the lessons I will need to learn and the skills I will need to acquire as well as the people with whom I will need to come in contact. He’s got it all worked out. All I have to do is cooperate with Him, and everything will work out the way He wants it to.
I find that amazing. God knows perfectly well what He is doing and is infinitely capable of arranging the exact circumstances and details that will bring His plans to fruition. And He can do so not only for me, but for all of His children, whereas I don’t know perfectly what I’m doing with even one of my kids. Better yet, He not only can, but will. He’s got everything under control, and I can trust Him for that, even when I don’t know what He’s doing.
Until I reach heaven, God will constantly be molding me into the person He wants me to be. I want to help shape Ellie in the same way. I want to be purposeful about the things I teach her and the ways I show my love. When she leaves home, I want her to be ready. I want to have done everything God wanted me to do for her.
That means I need to get wisdom from the best Parent there is, who fortunately is my Father. I need to stay in constant contact with Him, seeking His advice and carrying out His designs. He knows how I should parent Ellie far better than I do. And the beauty of the way it all works out is this: As I stay close to Him in seeking to parent my child, He will be better able to parent me. And that’s part of His design for both of us.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7—And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Psalm 25:5—Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.