My precious daughter Lindsey is a sweet, loving girl. She wants nothing more in life than to please and encourage others and have others delight in her right back. I literally almost never have discipline problems with her (at least not the kind where she misbehaved, but knew better).
One thing Lindsey does struggle with, however, is her tendency to knock things over, break things, or make an inadvertent mess. Part of it’s her ADHD; part of it’s because she’s such a physical kid; part’s because…who knows? She hates the fact that she does these things, because she never means to (and because she wants people to be happy with her). But she still struggles.
One day, while it was still early in the morning, Lindsey knocked something over. I reminded her to be careful and asked her to pick it up. A little while later, Lindsey did something else (I don’t even remember what, because it wasn’t a big deal to me), and I again reminded her to be careful.
“Sorry,” Lindsey said sadly. “I just can’t do anything right today.”
We’ve all felt like Lindsey. We’ve all known the frustration and discouragement of trying harder and harder, yet continuing to fail. To get it wrong. To let ourselves down (and maybe others).
What do we do then? How do we deal with it when our best efforts aren’t good enough?
We take the issue before God and ask Him if it really matters if we get it right. Sometimes, we beat ourselves up over things that don’t really matter. Does it really make a difference if we can’t throw birthday parties or holiday parties that look like they should be on Pinterest? Does it matter if we’re not as organized as someone else? Is it really a big deal if we’re not as talented, or pretty, or educated, or whatever as someone else?
Probably not. God will let us know if something really matters. And if it doesn’t, He’ll help us gain the right perspective on it and stop stressing ourselves out trying to attain a goal that isn’t all that important, anyway.
But if it does matter—if we really do need to be getting it right more often than we are—He’ll tell us that, too. And when He does, instead of focusing on ourselves (“I got it wrong again!”), we need to focus on Him (“Thank You, God, for Your perfect forgiveness”). We need to accept the forgiveness He offers us, believe that we have it, and try our best next time—without condemnation. After all, if He doesn’t condemn us, who are we to condemn ourselves?
I know it can be really hard to try “one more time” when we’ve already tried many times and failed most of them. But remember that we do not try in our own power, or alone. That’s because Jesus not only desires holy behavior from us, but He also gives us His strength and wisdom to achieve it and stands by us as we struggle.
My friend, you do not struggle alone. Satan would love to have you think that you do—that God is terribly displeased with you because you haven’t gotten it right yet. He doesn’t want you to know the truth, that as the precious Bride of Christ, you are no longer condemned. God doesn’t hate you, or even dislike you. He loves you madly and passionately, and that doesn’t change even when you sin. No, God doesn’t always like what you do, but he always loves you.
So the next time you mess up, instead of casting your eyes downward in defeat, lift them up, toward the One who’s given you the victory over sin. True, you’re not sinless yet, and won’t be until you reach heaven. But sin is no longer your master. You are no longer under its authority, and no longer condemned when you commit some act of wrongdoing.
When Satan tries to discourage you, you can say to him, “Yes, I did that, but I’m forgiven because of what Jesus did on the cross. Praise His name!”
Romans 8:1a—There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. (KJV)