This devotional begins with a story that has to do with my husband, not my children. But the principle God taught me is equally applicable in a mother-child relationship as it is in a husband-wife relationship. So whether or not you’re married, please read to the end.
While my husband and I have many things in common, we also have some differences. Sometimes, those differences come in the area of opinions. And what sometimes makes it really tough to resolve a conflict that arises over a difference of opinion is that nobody’s sinning. For example, in the case of this recurring dilemma that had cropped up yet again for me, I couldn’t say, “Well, Phil is sinning, so he should be the one to give in.”
He wasn’t sinning. I wasn’t, either. So what should I do? How should I respond?
Those are the questions I asked God. What do I do, God? How do I act toward my husband?
Suddenly, without even having to pray very long this time, God’s answer reached my spiritual ears, loud and clear: Just love him.
Yes. Love.
Jesus seemed to think love was pretty important, too. He told the religious leaders that the greatest command of all was to love God, and the second most important was to love others. At the last supper, He underscored His own words by framing it as a new command to His disciples: Love one another.
Granted, just loving someone doesn’t mean we’ll always know what to do or how to treat them. But love should be the starting place of our actions and even thoughts toward any other person, including, yes, our husband—but also our precious children.
Too often, in the hustle and bustle and confusion of parenting, we forget this. It’s not that we mean to forget, or that we don’t love our children in that moment. It’s just that sometimes we’re busy, or distracted. Or tired. Or annoyed. And we react out of how we feel at the moment instead of stepping back, emotionally speaking, and then entering the interaction purposefully, from a starting point of unconditional love.
We make our interactions with others all about ourselves—what we like, what we want, what will please us—instead of asking, What would loving this other person look like right now?
Let’s be completely, heartbreakingly honest: sometimes we love ourselves more than we love our children.
Oh, God, we need Your help! Help us to love You first and others second—not ourselves first, and You and others only when (and if) we feel like it. May we never act towards others with anything but love, following the example of Your Son, who never did anything less or anything else than love. Amen.
Mark 12:30-31—“ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (NIV)
John 13:34—A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.