My 6-year-old, Ellie, has beautiful curly hair. She loves it, and I think it looks pretty on her. The only problem is that she doesn’t like to wear barrettes in it or wear it pulled back. That means it sometimes gets really, really tangled.
Combing Ellie’s hair (actually, we use a Hello Kitty brush, which she insists hurts less than an actual comb) isn’t a pleasant event for anybody. Ellie certainly doesn’t enjoy the pain of having the tangles coaxed from her hair, and I don’t enjoy her screaming and crying. I can be gently removing a tangle from her hair, and she will suddenly, shrilly scream as if I am ripping her hair out by the roots. The tears flow quickly and copiously.
One day, I was brushing Ellie’s hair as we stood by her dresser. She kept moving her head around, trying to escape the brush. Instead of helping, this actually made the whole thing worse. I wasn’t able to remove the tangles gently because I couldn’t ever tell where her head was going to be next.
“If you keep moving your head away from me, it makes it harder for me to comb your hair without hurting you,” I said.
But Ellie was convinced that if she held still and submitted to what I was doing, it would hurt worse. She didn’t believe me when I told her that if she did what I asked, it would actually hurt less.
We respond to God the same way, don’t we? He begins to orchestrate something in our lives, and we fear it will be painful, so we move away. Hold still, He tells us. But fearing the pain, we continue to squirm, hoping that somehow, we can make the pain bearable if we can avoid it in some measure.
The truth is, refusing to submit only makes our circumstances more painful, not less. If Ellie had cooperated with me, the pain would have been lesser, and it would have been over sooner. But because she didn’t trust me enough to believe that it was in her best interests to do what I was telling her to do, she resisted, and she wound up causing herself more pain than necessary.
The same is sometimes true with us and God.
Trying to squirm out from under the circumstances God has caused or allowed into our lives never helps. In fact, it always makes things worse. True, there are times when He lets us sin and go our own ways, but there are also times when He is determined that we must comply. And if God has ordained that He will accomplish a certain part of His will in our lives, we cannot avoid it.
Our choice, then, is not whether or not we will have to go through the circumstances, but whether we will accept God’s will without fighting Him. Will we believe Him that submitting is in our best interests, or will we choose to rely on our own wisdom that says that trying to avoid the pain might result in actually doing so?
God never causes us any more pain than absolutely necessary. Sometimes, however, we cause our own pain when we keep trying to move away from Him. Resisting God never produces the outcomes we hope it will. It never ultimately satisfies us. Sometimes, it even results in more hurt, because when we keep trying to move away from Him, it’s harder for Him to accomplish His will in our lives without hurting us.
Oh, friend, is there some area in your life in which you need to accept His will and stop fighting it? I know that your circumstances may be agonizingly painful. But do you need to stop fighting God? To stop causing yourself additional pain by struggling against what you cannot avoid?
Resisting God will not help you avoid the pain. It won’t make Him change His mind and remove the circumstances from you. It will only cause you to miss out on His comfort in your circumstances.
So stop fighting. Stop struggling against Him, and let Him hold you. Feel His strong, loving arms draw you close to His chest and hold you securely. Let His peace and His comfort flow over you. Let Him carry you through.
John 14:27—Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Matthew 23:37—O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.
Psalm 91:4—He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.