In Remembrance

On Saturday, I received word that my stepfather had died suddenly from a heart attack.

We knew he had heart problems, including previous heart attacks. We knew his heart was failing. What we didn’t know was that on Saturday, as he and my mother sat at the kitchen table eating lunch, he would suddenly stop in the middle of a sentence and be gone.

Just like that.

Paramedics took him to the hospital, where doctors and nurses did everything they could to save him.

But he was already gone.

The news came in a phone call from a beloved uncle (my mom’s brother). At first, it didn’t hit me emotionally. I said the things that had to be said and asked the right questions before hanging up. I didn’t cry until I went to tell my husband, who had just arrived home.

Then, I cried.

And then, I remembered.

I remembered a man who was always kind and gentle. Literally always. He and my mom got married when I was in sixth grade, and from that point until now, I never saw or heard him being unkind to me or to anyone else. Never.

Not one time.

Someday, unless the Lord returns first, my loved ones will get news of my passing. And I wonder what the first thing is that they will remember about me.

In order for some beautiful quality like kindness or love to be the first thing they think of, that quality has to characterize me now. My loved ones can’t remember about me what they never saw in me in the first place.

Oh, God, help me to be the kind of person now that I want to be remembered as then. Work in me, and through me, and make me the kind of person who will glorify You and bless others abundantly. Thank You for the example of my stepfather Ron, who was always, unfailingly, kind and gentle.

Ronald Rae Sheets
b. November 11, 1943
d. January 16, 2016
Kind. Gentle. Loved.

Matthew 25:23—“His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’”

Ron Sheets

A New Year’s Prayer for Moms

New Year's Prayer for Moms

A New Year’s Prayer for Moms
(Reposted from January 1, 2013)

Father God,

You are holy, awesome, and loving.
You are wise, kind, and good.
Your ways are perfect, and Your judgments are just.
We begin the new year by bowing before You in praise,
Offering You all of ourselves—
Our bodies, souls, and spirits,
Our desires, thoughts, and actions,
Our very lives.

We need you, Lord.
We need Your love, mercy, and faithfulness.
We need Your wisdom and instruction.
We need You, for You are Life Itself.
Teach us to know You, to love You, and to seek You,
Until doing so becomes as natural for us
As breathing.

May we breathe You into our spirit,
Allowing You fill our lives,
And then breathe You out to our precious children.
We want them to see You in us,
To know You through us,
And then to love You with us.

Lord, we confess that as we shepherd Your littlest sheep,
We desperately need Your help every day.
Every moment.
We deeply desire to love them as You would—
With infinite patience, creativity, and kindness.
But we don’t have the wisdom to rightly love our children.
Apart from You, we don’t have the generosity or unselfishness.
Often, we lack the energy.
We need You to strengthen and encourage us.
We need You to teach us.
We need You to forgive us when we fail.
We need You to make us the moms You desire us to be—
The moms our children deserve.

We want to do what is right for Your lambs.
And we know that You want that even more,
Because You love our children
Even more than we do.
You created them, You love them,
And You’ve given us the privilege of shepherding them
For awhile.

We humbly and gratefully acknowledge the gift of our children,
And we ask You to make us worthy of that gift,
This year and every year.
May everything we do as a mom
Be for their benefit
And for Your glory.
This we ask in the name of Your precious Son, Jesus,
Who once needed a mother’s love too.

Amen.

www.MannaForMoms.com

A Prayer for Moms at Year’s End

A Prayer for Moms at Year's End

Father God,

The year is almost over,
This year that You granted me
To enjoy and rejoice over my precious children,
To nurture and serve them,
To love them with a love that comes from You,
To pour out my life for them
As You poured out Yours for me.

Sometimes, I served with humility and selflessness.
Thank You, God, for Your grace
That enabled me to love my children well.
May any crumb of goodness they see in me
Remind them of the feast of love that You offer them.

Other times, I served not them, but myself.
Thank You, God, for Your forgiveness
And for my children’s forgiveness.
May any wound I have caused them not make them bitter,
But instead, lead them to rejoice in Your perfect healing.

There were moments this year that were beyond precious,
When I cuddled a sleeping child or held a small hand or talked heart-to-heart.
Then there were the joyous times,
When we watched a sunset together, or rode a roller coaster, or ate ice cream cones
And let the ice cream melt all over our faces and hands.
I thank you for all these matchless memories,
And I ask You to engrave them in my heart and in my children’s hearts
Forever.

There were also moments this year that were filled with sadness or grief.
Although I never would have asked for those circumstances,
I thank You for the indescribable beauty of Your comfort.
I thank You for these memories that were precious
In a completely different way,
And I ask You to engrave the feel of Your arms around them on my children’s hearts
Forever.

Engrave in them and in me the soul-deep knowledge
That You were with us through every failure and every success,
Every heartbreaking moment and every breathtakingly beautiful one.

You were in every step we took.

You were in every season and month and week and day and minute.

You were in every beat of our hearts
And in every breath.

You were above all,
And through all,
And in all.

You were, and are, Emanuel.

God with us.

Amen.

Getting on God’s Nerves: The Surprising Reason Why We Do

Toy messI don’t know exactly how many nerves I have. But I do know when my kids are on my last one.

Usually, when they get on my nerves, it’s because they are bickering, tattling on each other for things that don’t really matter, or leaving behind some mess that they should have picked up because I’ve told them a thousand times to pick up after themselves, and why am I the only one who can SEE these messes, anyway?

Sometimes, I’m sorry to say, they get on my nerves not because of anything they’ve done, really, but because I’m tired or stressed, and they ask for the wrong thing at the wrong time. Or they fail to grasp something I think they should already know, and I’m so. out. of. patience.

Turns out God’s children get on His nerves, too. They try His patience.

Wait, what? Isn’t God infinitely patient?

Of course He is. He always maintains perfect control, even when we try Him.

Yes, you and I can get on His nerves.

But it may not be for the reason you would think.

It’s not because we and God just don’t click, because we make too many mistakes, or because He’s tired of dealing with us. (None of these things is true, by the way!) Nor is it because we ask Him for too much.

Actually, it’s because sometimes we ask Him for too little.

There was a time long ago when Ahaz was king over Judah. God told Ahaz to ask Him for a sign to confirm what was going to happen.

“Ask Me for any sign,” God said. “Anything you want. Nothing is too big.”

“Nope,” Ahaz said. “I’m not going to test You.”

Then Isaiah the prophet steps in. “Hey!” he said. “Isn’t it enough that you already get on mankind’s nerves? Are you going to try God’s patience too???”

Notice that what Ahaz was getting rebuked for was not for worshiping a foreign god or committing murder or adultery. Ahaz was rebuked because God offered him everything, and he asked for nothing.

God offered him the opportunity of a lifetime, and he got all what he probably thought was properly humble and refused the opportunity.

God tells us over and over in Scripture that He wants to pour out spiritual blessings upon us. Maybe sometimes He even has some material blessings in mind.

But we don’t ask.

“Do what is right,” God says, “and see if I won’t pour out so many blessings upon you that you won’t be able to hold them all!” (See Malachi 3:10.)

“But I’m afraid to ask for big things,” we say. “I might make God mad. Or I might get rejected.”

So we ask too small. And in so doing, we try the patience of the God Who longs to shower us with blessings.

We ask for everyone to get along at Christmas, for improved finances, or for our cold to go away quickly.

It’s right and good to ask for all these things. But what about the truly big things? Things like transformation of our character, or the ability to hear and recognize God’s voice, or the opportunity and courage to bear bold witness for Christ?

Or intimacy with God? The ability to trust Him more? The willingness to serve without earthly reward?

As C.S. Lewis said, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

Ask big. Make God’s heart glad.

Malachi 3:10—Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” (NIV)

Isaiah 7:10-13—Again the LORD spoke to Ahaz, “Ask the LORD your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights.” But Ahaz said, “I will not ask; I will not put the LORD to the test.” Then Isaiah said, “Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also?” (NIV)

How to De-Stress Your Christmas Season

Lots of lightsPresents to buy and wrap. Parties to dress for and attend. Baking to be done. Family time to be planned. Travel arrangements to be made. Special services or concerts to attend. Not to mention fulfilling our regular responsibilities—going to work, attending (or teaching) school, preparing meals, cleaning the house, and chauffeuring the kids to a thousand different places.

We adopt perfection as our standard and spend December trying to achieve it. And in the process, we stress out not only ourselves, but everyone around us.

Martha would agree with us. Not Martha Stewart (and even she doesn’t always get everything right), but Martha of Bethany. The one who had a sister named Mary and a brother named Lazarus.

Jesus and His disciples had come to Martha’s house to visit and have dinner. And Martha was going nuts in the kitchen trying to make everything come together just right. To make matters worse, her younger sister Mary wasn’t helping. She was sitting around fellowshipping, while Martha was doing all the work.

So Martha stormed out to the living room. “Jesus!” she said (I’m going to paraphrase here). “Don’t You care that Mary is making me do all the work? Tell her to stop being lazy and help me!”

In response, Jesus said something that for a long time, I didn’t understand. “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Wait, what? Doesn’t Jesus care when some people are slacking, leaving others to have to do all the work?

Of course He cares. He never approves of laziness or of shirking one’s responsibilities. Here’s what I think He meant by what He said (allow me to paraphrase again): “Martha, you’re focusing on yourself. That’s why you’re so stressed out. Mary has chosen to focus on Me, and an encounter with Me is of eternal value.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Martha, preparing food is not important,” or, “If you were better at this, you wouldn’t be so stressed.” He was pointing out the fact that her focus was all wrong. If Martha had been doing her work with a focus on Jesus instead of on herself—in other words, if she had been offering her work as worship—then she would have encountered Jesus as surely as Mary did.

This Christmas season, if you find yourself getting stressed, trying slowing down for just a moment and taking a deep breath. Is your focus on Jesus? Are you offering your efforts as worship?

You have a choice. You can either focus on yourself and become frustrated at all the things you have to do, or you can turn your heart toward Jesus and encounter Him in the midst of the hustle and bustle.

You see, Christmas is not about folding napkins in the shape of a swan, or finding that perfect gift.

Christmas is about encountering Jesus.

May we never get so caught up in the trappings of the season that we miss out on intimacy with the One whose birth we celebrate.

Luke 10:41-42—”Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (NIV)

5 Ways to Help Your Children Remember Jesus This Christmas Season

Baby JesusI still vividly remember a moment one Christmas season when I was in college. Finals were over, and I had returned home for Christmas break. My mom, my sister, and I had gone to the mall to do some Christmas shopping.

We separated from each other so that each of us could do some shopping without the others seeing. We agreed to meet at the fountain at a certain time.

I arrived at the fountain early. As I sat there, waiting for my family and watching shoppers go by, I realized something.

Christmas didn’t feel as exciting as it used to when I was younger. The glow, the emotional high, just wasn’t the same as all those years when I had looked forward to Christmas morning with the anticipation of a child.

It was fun, but…it wasn’t the same.

In that moment of disappointment, a thought came into my head with startling clarity: If that’s all there is to Christmas for me, I’m in trouble.

I want Christmas to mean far more than the anticipation of what I’m going to get, what parties I’m going to attend, or (now that I’m a mom) what looks I hope to see on my children’s faces when they open their gifts from me.

I want Christmas to be about Jesus, not about me.

There’s nothing wrong with looking forward to gifts, or with Christmas music, or parties, or the excitement of this time of year. All those things are good, and should be enjoyed.

But there’s more to Christmas than that.

I’m going to share with you five ways I’ve thought of to help my children remember Jesus this Christmas season and all the seasons following. So that when they look back on their Christmases in my home, they will remember not only the wonderful, heart-warming things like putting up the Christmas decorations together (we call it “putting up Christmas”) and doing Advent activities that I’ve developed for us, but also that we really celebrated Jesus and made Him our focal point of it all.

I hope some of them will work for your family, too.

  1. Make sure you remember Him—and let your children see and hear you do so. Let them hear you talking about Jesus, not just about finding a parking spot at the mall or your frustrations about having to host Christmas dinner again this year.
  1. Ask your children to think through some of the trappings of Christmas—music, parties, presents, etc. Let them answer the question, What would Jesus think of that? You might also ask them to consider why we give each other presents when it’s not our birthday.
  1. Discuss with your children what your family can do to make sure others know that even though Jesus wasn’t welcome at the inn, He’s welcome at your house (hint: there’s no one right answer). Then try to put some of those things into practice.
  1. Do some Advent activities that point to Jesus. Make sheep (we make ours out of plastic bags, crumpled up newspaper or wrapping paper, tape, paper towel or toilet paper rolls, a paper plate, and a marker), and then go “abide in the fields by night” (we go to our front yard). Talk about what the shepherds might have been feeling. Talk about what the angel said. Ask your children how they think the shepherds felt (and why they felt that way!) upon hearing the news. Or give each child a piece of paper with pictures of various Christmas-related items on it (candy cane, wreath, star). Make sure there is a picture of baby Jesus in the manger. Ask your children to go on a “Mall Treasure Hunt” and cross the pictures off their paper when they find the items. Point out how easy it is to find everything except baby Jesus. Have a good discussion about why baby Jesus isn’t at the mall. Or think of other activities that would be meaningful to your family.
  1. Discuss, as a family, who the people were who were near and dear to Jesus’ heart (widows, orphans, the poor, etc.). Talk about Matthew 25:40 (“Whatever you do for the least of these, you do for Me”). Choose a way to minister to at least one of those people. Or, along similar lines, ask your kids what they think Jesus would like for His birthday. Point out that one present He would like would be for your family to bless others. Talk about how your children (even the youngest) can minister to others. Have each child choose a person to minister to. This can be something as simple as making a card for someone, giving a hug to someone who is lonely, or even showing kindness to a brother or sister. Or it can be something more complicated—whatever works for your family.

Whatever you choose to do, do it in the name of Jesus and for His pleasure. Your children will probably not remember every gift you got them this Christmas. But they will remember the memories you made as you loved, served, and celebrated Jesus together.

That’s what Christmas is all about.

That’s Who Christmas is all about.

Luke 2:12— And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. (KJV)

Does God Always Make Things Better?

holding handsMy 7-year-old daughter, Jessica, possesses one of the most sensitive souls God ever created and put within a little girl. She can always sense when someone’s having a bad day, and, with little fanfare or desire for recognition, she does something to lift the person’s spirits. When a gift is in order, she will give her money, down to her last penny, or her most treasured possessions, in order to ensure that someone else doesn’t go without.

Because she is so sensitive, however, she is also easily wounded by people’s words or actions, or discouraged when something goes wrong. Recently, on a day that just wasn’t going right for her, I had pulled her into my lap so we could talk. It was during that conversation that she immeasurably blessed my mother-heart with these words: “When I’m sad, I usually talk to you. And you always make it better somehow.”

She is well aware that I don’t or can’t always change her circumstances. But she also knows that I always care, and that I can be counted on to offer not only love, but also support or sympathy or encouragement (or all three).

You and I are blessed with a similar relationship with God. Any love we offer our children is but a dim reflection of the perfect, all-encompassing love He pours out on us. He can always be counted on to offer not only that love, but also support, sympathy, encouragement, or anything else that He, with His complete and perfect knowledge, knows we need.

That, my friend, is what makes things better. Sometimes God does indeed change our circumstances as we beg Him to, and that, of course, helps. But it is a lesser help. The far greater help is when He gives us Himself.

If I were to ask which you would rather have, changed circumstances or more of God, how would you answer?

Often you and I both would answer that what we really want is the changed circumstances, not God’s presence.

It’s okay to want your circumstances to be different. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that, or with asking God to perform that.

The problem comes when God offers us what He knew was the greater help (Himself), and we complain because He didn’t offer us what we thought was greater, which was really the lesser (changed circumstances).

Jessica told me that somehow, I always make things better, even though I don’t always change things for her. In other words, she knows this fundamental but often unrealized truth: even when circumstances don’t change, the love, support, and encouragement of a mother always makes things better.

The same can be said for the love, support, and encouragement of a Father.

I pray we believe that He is truly the greater.

Lamentations 3:24—The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. (KJV)

When God Won’t Give You What You Want

Chocolate chip cookies“Mommy, can I have a cookie?” Timmy asked.

“No,” I said, “we’re going to eat dinner soon.”

“But I want a cookie!”

“Sorry. It’s almost time for dinner.”

“But I LIKE cookies.”

“After dinner.”

By this point, Timmy was getting distressed. “But how can I eat a cookie if you won’t LET me?” he begged.

The answer, of course, was that he couldn’t. No cookies unless Mommy lets you have one.

I can understand his frustration. After all, I don’t like it when I don’t get what I want, either. Especially if it’s sitting right there in front of my face, looking for all the world like it should be mine.

Just as we sometimes say no to our children, so God sometimes says no to us. When He does, what we wanted—what we thought should be ours—suddenly becomes forbidden fruit.

Spiritual discernment is required to discern what God’s will is. But if I just keep trying to force the issue without ever considering that maybe I’m striving to obtain something God doesn’t want me to have, I won’t know what His will is.

At least Timmy asked me for my answer. Too often, I don’t ask God for His. I just pursue what I want and expect Him to bless it. Oh, God, forgive me!

You see, Timmy understood what you and I don’t always think about: If a parent says no, then it’s no.

But what if it’s something we really want? What then?

Here’s where it comes down to faith. We say in our heads that we believe God knows what’s best for us to have. But do we really believe it?

Apparently not, if we keep begging for “yes” when He’s already said “no,” or if we complain about “no.”

I wonder what difference it would make in your life and in mine if, instead of “fighting [God] for something we don’t really want” we would “take what [God gives] that [we] need.”

If we would accept God’s gracious provision as just that—gracious—and be content.
Philippians 4:12—I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (NIV)

What Do You See?

Weeds cemterpieceLook at the picture accompanying this devotional (it’s over to the right).

Go ahead, look at it.

What do you see in the foreground?

The other day, as I was walking into the kitchen, Lindsey met me as she was coming in from the back yard. Beaming, she held out a fistful of grass and flowers. “Aww, thanks,” I said, smiling. And then, because I was holding the little guy I babysit, I said, “Would you please go get the little vase you made me and put them in there?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she responded cheerfully. Then she bounded off to do as I had asked.

Lindsey added water to the vase, stuck the flowers in, and placed them in the center of our dining room table.

What do you see when you look at the picture?

A bunch of helter-skelter weeds in a bumpy vase?

Or a beautiful centerpiece, gathered and assembled with love?

Because I’m a mom too, I know your heart for your children, and I know you would answer, “I see a beautiful centerpiece.” That, of course, is what I see, too.

What do you think God sees when He looks at you?

A bunch of deficiencies, wrapped in sin and imperfection?

Or a beautiful treasure, which He made and assembled with love?

My friend, I know you’re not perfect. I’m certainly not, either. I sin and make mistakes every day. I do some things wrong and fail to do other things right.

But I’m so much more than my actions. And so are you.

I carry too much weight between my waist and my knees, my hair spends most of its time in a ponytail, and I have wrinkles.

But I’m so much more than my physical appearance. So are you.

My family lives on a budget, we have a modest home, and my kids don’t take gymnastics lessons.

Yet I am so much more than finances. So are you.

You and I are more than our pasts. We are more than our lack of talent or athletic ability. We are more than our physical, emotional, or mental handicaps.

So much more.

That’s because, when it gets right down to it, all of those things don’t really matter. Our circumstances or position in life are not what define us.

They are not who we are.

We are not “someone who has few friends.” We are “someone who is deeply loved by God.”

Nor are we “a screw-up” or “a failure.” We are human beings made in the image of our Creator, who is neither or these things.

We are not insignificant—we matter so much to God that He sacrificed Jesus in order to win us. (Do you realize what that means? You are worth Jesus to God.)

We are not ugly; we are fearfully and wonderfully made (see Psalm 139:14).

I could go on and on, and I’d love to, because convincing precious women of their worth and beauty in Jesus is one of my favorite things to do. But instead, I’m simply going to point out that you and I have a choice.

We can either see ourselves as worthless, friendless, ugly failures—or we can acknowledge that that we really are is deeply beloved, made in the image of God, tremendously significant, and beautiful.

We can either see ourselves as a collection of weeds and a lumpy vase, or as a beautiful centerpiece.

In reality, you are a beautiful centerpiece, precious friend. I pray you see yourself that way, because God does, and I do, too.

Isaiah 43:4a—You are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you. (ESV)

When One of These Things is Not Like the Other

different thingsDid you watch Sesame Street as a child? I did. I loved it.

One of my favorite segments was the “One of These Things” game. They would show a square evenly divided into four smaller squares. Then, they would add one item to each square, three of which were similar, and one of which was obviously different from the other three. (For example: fish, bird, cat, sun.) Then they’d sing the song:

One of these things is not like the others.
One of these things just doesn’t belong.
Can you guess which thing is doing its own thing?
Guess before my song is done.
And now my song is done.

They would ask which item didn’t belong, and kids everywhere would point to the screen and call out their answers.

I loved that game. It was fun to try to figure out which thing didn’t match the others.

Of course, nowadays, being an adult, this game would hold no challenge. It’s pretty easy to tell that a bicycle doesn’t match a pizza, an ice cream cone, and a bag of chips.

It can be much harder to determine when things don’t match up in life. For example, who would ever have thought that a woman who dislikes domestic pursuits but who loves action, excitement, and intellectual challenges would match well with the calling to be a stay-at-home mom? Or that a brother who is on the autism spectrum would be a good match for two sisters who are extremely sensitive to people acting “not normal” in public? Or that a woman with a traumatic childhood would be a good spouse for a man who grew up in a loving, secure, godly home?

Not very many people on this earth would have made these matches.

But God did. He put all three of these in my family.

Mismatches? Apparently not. Because God always knows what He’s doing.

There are some mismatches that are caused because of sin or poor choices (ours or others’). But those matches ordained by God are never “mis-.” To say otherwise is to say that God makes mistakes.

So when you and I don’t understand how life could have ended up like this, we need to realize that insofar as God has ordained the matches, we are perfectly matched up.

My personality and interests, combined with the circumstances of being a stay-at-home mom? Perfectly matched. Maybe not for smooth sailing and pleasing circumstances all the time, but for that which God wants to accomplish in my life.

I can either set my own happiness as my highest goal, or I can focus on the joy of God’s will being done in me. Which will I deem more pleasing? My temporary pleasure, or my eternal character?

I don’t know what seeming mismatches you face. But I do know this: God doesn’t make mistakes.

It’s not just probable that He has some good in mind for you that is far higher than the good you had envisioned.

It’s a certainty.

Isaiah 55:8—”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (NIV)