How to Be Content

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

Megan Breedlove July 6, 2015 No Comments

Have you ever looked around your house and wondered, Where in the world did I get all this stuff???

I have. On pretty much a daily basis. It’s true that a certain amount of stuff comes with having 2 adults and 5 kids living in the same house. But this much stuff? Really?

That’s why I LOVE hotels. Because there’s no stuff. You have the basics, and you make do, and everybody’s happy, as long as the cable TV is working. Which always makes me wonder, if I can be that happy with almost no stuff, then why do I still have all the stuff that’s in my house?

Which brings me to last weekend. Being as my husband can live with almost no stuff at all (he’s kind of a minimalist), and being as I wanted much less stuff, my husband took the kids down to his parents’ house for the weekend so that I could stay behind and Get. Rid. Of. Stuff.

Which I did. I spent the entire weekend, from Saturday morning until late Sunday afternoon, getting rid of stuff we didn’t need and rearranging what was left. I don’t think I actually cleaned much, but I sure did create a lot more blank space, which makes me go “Ahhhhhhh” every time my eyes light upon a spot where something used to be.

And do you know what? Not a single one of us has died. Nobody’s even gotten slightly ill. The only difference seems to be that now, our favorite charity has lots more nice things they can bless somebody with, and we have a lot fewer nice things, which makes it easier to keep the remaining things picked up and put away.

Sometimes less really is more.

Here’s the point (which God kind of just dropped in my lap, as He often does when making a point with me): we need to keep our spiritual “houses” equally clean and organized. We need to go through them and get rid of all the stuff we don’t need. Let’s get rid of the things that are destroying the peace of our “house,” find different uses for some things, and start using other things that have been sitting in the cabinets gathering dust.

What kind of things destroy the peace of our house? Unloving attitudes. Gossip. Impatience. A critical spirit. An ungrateful or complaining spirit. Demeaning or disrespectful talk. Unrighteous anger (which, let’s be honest, is 99% of the anger we feel).

What kinds of things do we need to find different uses for? How about turning our take-charge attitude into a way to bless others instead of a way to control them? How about turning our dissatisfaction with the world into a longing for heaven, where everything will be more perfect than we can imagine?

And let’s not forget to put some dusty things into use. Bibles, especially leather ones, especially heirloom leather ones, make great additions to a decorating scheme. But they work even better if they’re read regularly. And what about our ability to organize, or to speak in public, or to be creative, or to sing, or, or, or, that we haven’t exercised in a long time? Why not see what use God might want to make of it? After all, if He gives us an ability, there’s a reason.

What we’re going for here is, to have our spiritual houses cleared out of all the stuff that harms us or others, and to have the stuff that remains be in use and a blessing to someone.

Last week, I simply got some boxes and bags, loaded them full, and set them aside for donation. We can’t exactly do that with our spiritual houses. But here’s what we can do: we can ask God to go through our house with us (doing it on our own means we’re liable to throw out and/or keep the wrong things) and take away whatever doesn’t need to be there. Then we can ask Him to help us organize what remains so that it can bless the people He intends for it to bless—ourselves included.

Does your spiritual house need a cleaning? Unless you did it like 5 minutes ago, then, yes, it probably does. Because even when we clean them regularly, stuff still builds up, making another cleaning necessary. Let’s just assume that we could all use a little (or a lot!) cleaning of our spiritual house.

So let’s get to it! Unfortunately, our spiritual house won’t clean itself any more than our physical house will.

Colossians 3:8-9—But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices. (ESV)

Second Place and a Band-Aid

Megan Breedlove February 23, 2015 No Comments

It was a gorgeous, 72-degree day. The sun was shining. There was a light breeze. The fact that it was mid-February (and, therefore, supposedly winter) was irrelevant. Spring was making an early appearance—at least temporarily.

“Wow, it’s a beautiful day!” I said to the kids.

“Yeah,” Lindsey responded cheerfully, “it reminds me of field day at public school last year, when I won second place and a Band-Aid.”

I found her comment amusing, and I followed up on it. It turned out that the Band-Aid had been earned during the three-legged race. With her left ankle tied to a friend’s right ankle, Lindsey and her partner had been heading as fast as they could for the finish line. But Lindsey tripped and scraped her knee on the ground. Hence, the trip to the nurse’s office to ask for a Band-Aid.

As I considered the fact that running her race had left a physical mark on Lindsey’s body, I realized something: the same can be said of us moms.

We may not be running an actual race (though chasing after toddlers can sure seem like it), but the marks of our “race” are there nonetheless.

For those of us who have physically borne children, our bodies no longer look the same. We might have stretch marks, a C-section scar, or a little extra flabbiness in places that weren’t always flabby.

Most of us, whether or not we’ve been pregnant or whether we’ve adopted, carry a few more pounds than are strictly necessary. Coming up with the time and inclination to go to the gym when we haven’t had a solid night’s sleep in months is difficult. Not to mention figuring out how to pay for said gym membership, when there are so many other things that have to be paid for first.

Many of us have more gray hairs than when we first became a mom. Not that they’re necessarily caused by our children (well, maybe they are….), but having our hair colored or highlights touched up every six weeks is time-consuming and expensive, especially when there are so many other demands upon our energy and resources.

Then there’s the scar we bear on our forearm near the elbow because hot gravy from the meal we were cooking on the stovetop splattered not only on us, but on our toddler who was standing too near the stove, and we washed our toddler’s skin off first, while the gravy burned into our own.

All of these are not marks of a merely physical event, but of motherhood.

Then there are the laugh lines at the corners of our mouths and the crinkles at the corners of our eyes. None of those were there when we were 20. But now, the joys of motherhood have etched themselves into our facial expressions.

And our tummy, which is “so soft”, as our child so kindly tells us, that used to be much flatter many years ago. But it’s the softness of motherhood.

And our arms, those incredible appendages God has given us that know not only how to do great and strong things, but also now know how to delicately embrace a child who needs love.

Consider our eyes, which see what our child is really saying, what’s really going on in her little heart.

Our ears, which hear silence, and know instinctively that something “not good” is going on.

Our feet, which bear calluses from all the standing and walking we do in taking our child places, in standing at the stove cooking, in pacing the floor in the middle of the night while attempting to soothe a colicky newborn.

Our backs, which sometimes bend beneath the heavy load, but can straighten up in an instant when one of our children is threatened.

Our shoulders, which now carry the weight of our love for our child and of our child’s concerns.

Yes, our bodies are different, whether the marks are visible or invisible.

This is what the Apostle Paul was talking about when he said he bore in his body the marks of the Lord Jesus. Paul had suffered greatly because of his commitment to and love for the Lord. Yet he was not ashamed. Instead, he wore the marks with honor.

That’s how you and I can bear the changes in our bodies, too. Ladies, we can be so harsh on ourselves, so disparaging toward the perceived imperfections of our flesh. But these marks of motherhood are in reality not imperfections. They, too, are the marks of the Lord Jesus.

He is the one who called us to this precious position of motherhood. Ultimately, even more than we serve our children, we serve Him. So every mark on our bodies, every change that comes about as a result of motherhood, is a change that came about because of following the Lord Jesus’ calling upon our lives.

You may think your body’s not perfect. But it tells a beautiful story.

Be grateful for the story.

Galatians 6:17—From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus. (KJV)

Slow Dancing in the Playroom

Megan Breedlove December 29, 2014 No Comments

Rarely do I read someone’s Facebook post and think, “Wow. Yes. That’s absolutely perfect.”

Recently, however, a friend of mine posted a text message his wife (also a friend) had sent him during a difficult day at home with their one-year-old son. Here it is, reproduced here with her permission:

[Our son is] miserable today btw. Like doesn’t want to play with anything. Just the toy he threw behind the couch. I can’t reach it. And then he ate a leaf and cried about it. And then I gave him three cookies, and he shoved all of them into his tiny mouth. As he chewed it, in came too much and it promptly began to flow like spraying masticated cookie goo everywhere. And now we are slow dancing in the playroom.

I bet you smiled and nodded too, as I did when I first read it. What a perfect encapsulation of life with a toddler.

Life with any child, for that matter. Sometimes everything goes wrong, incident after incident after incident. There are tears (theirs? ours?), frustration, anger, weariness, and discouragement.

But that’s not all.

Look again at my friend’s last sentence: “And now we are slow dancing in the playroom.”

What a beautiful moment that must have been. After a long, difficult day, my friend cuddled her precious son close, and they danced. Yes, she had experienced a hard day. But she also experienced love, intimacy, and beauty. And so did her son.

You’ve experienced that kind of juxtaposition, too—the crazy along with the peaceful, the good along with the bad. I’m sure you’ve run the whole gamut of emotions and experiences with your children this past year, and you’ll probably do so again in the year to come. Some events or circumstances will be pleasant and joyful; others will be sad, and still others will fall somewhere on the spectrum in between. You’ll have peaceful days, and you’ll have crazy days like my friend’s day.

But remember that the “not-so-good” or even “really bad” days aren’t all there is. You will have times of peaceful closeness with your children that bless your mother-heart in ways that are unspeakably precious.

So, yes, discipline your children when they need it; clean up their messes, or instruct them to do so; and find creative replacements for that toy they threw behind the couch. But don’t forget to make beautiful memories.

There’s always time for at least one slow dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1—To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (KJV)

Living It Out: Being Thankful

Megan Breedlove November 24, 2014 No Comments

As I write, it’s only a few days until Thanksgiving. The ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner, which will take place at my house this year, sit on shelves in my freezer, refrigerator, and pantry. The special tablecloths and tableware (we’re using Thanksgiving-themed paper and plastic) rest on the floor of my closet in the plastic bags they came in from the store. The house is on its way to being holiday-clean, and the Thanksgiving tree is on the wall.

We started the tradition of a Thanksgiving tree a few years ago. I cut several sheets of black construction paper into shapes that resembled a tree trunk and branches and taped them to the wall. I made some leaf shapes from colored construction paper and encouraged each child to take leaves and write one thing he or she is thankful for on each leaf, which we then taped to the “tree”.

This year’s Thanksgiving tree involves store-bought leaves (yay, Dollar Tree!), but the idea is still the same. With 5 children, there are 75 colorful leaves helping make a beautiful Thanksgiving decoration in our living room.

In a few days, we’ll take down the Thanksgiving tree and put up the Christmas tree instead. We’ll crumple up the pieces of construction paper and colored leaves and throw them in the trash. The Thanksgiving tree will be done for.

I hope my children’s thankful attitudes live on.

Thanksgiving is a great time to focus on being thankful for all the wonderful blessings God has poured into our lives. But I don’t want my children’s gratitude—or mine, either, for that matter—to be limited to a few days each November. I want thankfulness to be a lifestyle, not a holiday accessory.

If that’s what we want—because I assume that you want this for yourself and your family, too—we would do well to ask ourselves two questions. The first is this: Why are we to be thankful?

For one thing, God has commanded us to be thankful. As with all His commands, there’s a reason behind this one: God wants us to appreciate all He’s given us (which is everything we have). He knows that anything less than contentment is idolatry.

Idolatry? Really? Yes, because when we fail to be content with what God has given us, it’s the same thing as saying that we need things to be happy, and finding our happiness in anything except God is idolatry. God wants us to worship Him and Him alone, and to find our deepest contentment in Him, rather than in anyone else we know or anything we possess. It’s not just that He’s jealous for our affections—though He certainly is that—but also that He knows that nothing else can satisfy us like He can. God wants us to experience the soul-deep satisfaction that only He can provide, so He commands us to choose to say that whatever earthly things we possess are enough, that how much we possess is irrelevant, really, and find our contentment in Him.

The second question we need to ask ourselves is, How can we make sure our thankful attitude lasts all year long, not just when it’s Thanksgiving Day?

There are several ways we can do this. One important way is to root out any ingratitude in our hearts and deal with it. Are we discontent unless all our conditions are met? If so, we need to repent and ask God’s forgiveness (which we can be thankful we’ll always receive). We can also make it a point to build thankfulness into our daily routines, such as asking each child to list 3 things he or she was thankful for that day as we tuck him or her into bed at night. We could pray prayers of thanks out loud and let our kids hear us, which blesses not only them, but ourselves as well. One thing I try to remember to do whenever we’ve all gone to the store is to thank God on the way home for the ton of groceries and supplies in the back.

These are only a couple ideas. You can probably think of many more, such as singing songs about being thankful, doing a word study in the Bible on thankfulness, or some I haven’t thought of. The point is that we need to be purposeful about being thankful, or the world will suck away our contentment and teach us to be dissatisfied.

I encourage you to take some time during this Thanksgiving week to evaluate how thankful you really are, and to plan some things you can do to make sure you build an attitude of thankfulness into your lives and the lives of your children.

May it be Thanksgiving Day every day for us as we return gratitude to the Lord for all that He has done.

Colossians 1:10-12—And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way…giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.