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3 Fun (and Free!) Ways to Bond with Your Child This Summer

Megan Breedlove No Comments
Buecherwurm_65 / Pixabay

Here in Texas, summer is one long stretch of heat that begins in May and lasts through September. Basically, the four seasons of our year, in order, are Summer, Not-Quite-Summer-Anymore, Sort-of Winter, and Almost-Summer-Again.

But whether you live in a place where summer is one extended reminder of why hell would not be a pleasant place to spend eternity, or in a place where summer confines itself neatly to three months out of the year and lets each of the other seasons have its fair share of months too, you—like me—are probably looking for fun things to do with your child this summer.

I would like to offer you three suggestions of great things you can do that will not only be fun, but also bond you and your child closer together, and ALSO be great opportunities for helping your child connect with God. (It’s like fun with a bonus.) And, as the title suggests, you can do these things no matter how much money you have, because they’re all free.

Can’t beat fun summer activities that strengthen your relationship with your child and your child’s relationship with God, and don’t cost a thing, can you? Great! Here are some ideas:

1. Go to the beach! Don’t worry; we’re not necessarily talking an actual beach, although those are great, too. This activity is primarily designed for moms and children who don’t have a great beach nearby (like us). How can you go to the beach when you don’t actually have one anywhere close? You make your own.

Before you start worrying about how you would ever vacuum up all that sand, let me assure you that there’s no actual sand involved. You simply spread beach towels in the living room. You get in your swimming suits, put on sunscreen, and lie on your beach towels wearing sunglasses. Periodically, you go to the kitchen to get refreshments—ice cream, soda, hot dogs, etc.

What about the water? Couple things you can do on this one. You can fill up the bathtub with cool water. You can place a small wading pool (if you already have one) in the living room and fill it with water.

This activity obviously works best with younger kids. But think about it: you get all the advantages of the beach without any of the hassles; you get to wear your swimsuit without worrying about appearing in it in front of other people; and you get to bond with your child!

You can use this activity to talk with your child about the majesty of God’s creation. Talk about many of the Bible stories that involve water or oceans. Talk about the verse that says, “He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea” (Micah 7:19, NIV).

2. Go to a baseball game! And you don’t even have to pay for tickets or find parking. Why? Because you’re going to watch the game in your very own front or backyard. Set up some camp chairs or lawn chairs, haul your laptop, portable electronic device, or even your TV outside, and watch the game.

You and your child/ren can take turns walking up and down the “aisles” and offering everyone hotdogs, popcorn, or a cold drink. (Be sure you holler, “Hoooooooooootdooooooogs!”)

Make tickets to the game, and have one child be the ticket taker before you sit down. Bring your purse with you so that one child can be the security agent and examine your purse for unauthorized items (you may want to clear any private items out of your purse first).

If you want to get really creative, invite some friends to watch the game with you. Let everyone bring something (this still counts as free, because you’d have to eat anyway). This activity can work well with baseball fans of all ages. Your kids might like doing this even if they aren’t particularly baseball fans; they will probably find novelty and enjoyment in watching “TV” in the front yard.

A baseball game is a great opportunity to talk with your child about rules. Talk about why rules are necessary in a baseball game and what would happen if the players didn’t follow the rules. Point out that just as rules are necessary in baseball, so they are necessary in life—not to stop people from having fun, but to help them have more fun.

3. Go camping! Again, there’s absolutely no cost—and no special equipment needed. This one works best if you have a fenced-in backyard. Grab sleeping bags (or blankets, or a tarp) and pillows, and sleep in the backyard. If you have camping gear, go ahead and use it—but it’s not necessary. Your kids will do just fine with sleeping in their backyard with very simple gear.

Build a “campfire,” if you want to! You can either build an actual fire (though be sure to practice fire safety), or you can lay a fire and then just not light it. You can sit around it ad tell stories or jokes, or sing camping songs (or any songs, really). If someone in your family plays the guitar, have him or her do so.

Talk about how the first announcement of Jesus’ birth came to shepherds who were abiding in the fields, just as you are abiding in your backyard. Ask your child what he/she thinks it was like for the shepherds back then. Talk about what it would be like to be sitting around having a campout, and then all of a sudden to see an angel in the sky with a wonderful message from God.

***

Hopefully, you will find one or more of these activities fun and helpful for your family. If not, that’s fine—just make up one of your own. The main thing is not which activities you to do bond with your children and teach them about God, but that you do such activities.

Have a great summer!

Deuteronomy 6:7—You shall teach [the ways of the Lord] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (ESV)

4 Ways to Teach Your Children to Respect You (And Why It Matters That You Do)

Megan Breedlove No Comments

respectSix weeks or so ago, our church held a week of Vacation Bible School. The church was full of kids of all ages, from nursery age to rising sixth graders. Children entering seventh grade or above served as youth aides, assigned to assist the adults in making things run smoothly.

One particular young man was especially polite and helpful. He always had a smile on his face, and whenever we asked him to do anything, he would say, “Yes, ma’am” and quickly take care of the task.

Those of us at the registration desk were truly impressed with him. “How did you become so polite and respectful?” someone asked him.

His answer was immediate. “My mom raised me right,” he said with a smile. “She’s amazing.”

One of our primary jobs as a parent is to teach our children to respect us, and not only us, but other human beings in general, and those in authority in particular. Without this respect for their fellow man and their leaders, children grow up to be careless, self-centered people who hurt others and don’t really care.

Worst of all, they grow up without a respect and reverence for God.

The Bible gives many examples of how human relationships are really a practicum in learning to relate to God. The Apostle John puts it even more bluntly, telling us that if we can’t treat other people right, we’re not going to be able to treat God right, either. In this case, John is talking about love, but the same principle applies to respect. We are liars, John would say, if we claim to respect God but have disrespectful attitudes toward other people.

So if we parents don’t teach our children to respect us, how will they ever learn to respect God? And that’s why teaching them to respect us is so important.

So here are four ways we can do that. These are not the only ways, of course, but they are a great start.

First, we can treat our children with respect. What does this have to do with teaching them to respect us? Simply this: kids don’t truly respect someone who treats them badly (adults don’t, either). They may fear that person, they may even obey that person, but they won’t truly respect her.

Second, we can be worthy of respect. It’s a lot easier for children to respect someone who deserves it. When we demonstrate integrity, when we work hard, when we treat others well, our children see that, and they respect that. Yes, children should respect our position of authority as their parents. But why would we want to make it hard for them by demanding respect for our authority but failing to earn the respect that comes with a life that deserves it?

Third, we can require respectful behavior from our children. We’ve all seen the mom who allows her children to use a disrespectful tone with her, to ignore her, or to hit her or even call her “stupid,” and doesn’t put a stop to the behavior. When we allow children to treat us like this, we teach them that doing so is okay.

Fourth, we can let our children see us showing respect to others. When we call other drivers names, deliberately disregard the rules a business sets in place, or treat someone condescendingly, our children learn that it’s not important to treat others with respect. They lose respect for us in another way, too, when they realize that we tell them they have to be respectful, but we act as if that principle doesn’t apply to us.

It’s not only for our benefit that we need to teach our children to be respectful, but for our children’s benefit. And not just so that they will be better received in society and have more friends, but so that they will learn to have the proper respect for God, which is vital to having a close relationship with Him.

Teaching children to learn Bible facts is right and good. But teaching them to respect us, and therefore, to be able to respect God?

Even better.

1 John 4:20—If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

Living It Out: How to Respond When Someone Hurts You

Megan Breedlove No Comments

prayerMy 8-year-old daughter, Lindsey, is a kind and generous girl. She has a sweetness about her spirit that could only come from the Lord. She’s caring and compassionate, and she’s quick to reach out to those in need. Not only that, but she believes the best of everyone with whom she comes in contact.

That’s why it was especially hurtful when a neighborhood child stole some toys she had trusted him with.

This child (whom I’ll call Bobby) and his siblings frequently played at our house. This time, when he came over, Lindsey let him use some of her things so that he could play in the front yard with Kenny while she and the girls played together in the backyard. All was fine until Lindsey came back to check on her property and discovered it was missing.

Bobby told Lindsey where he had put the property away. Lindsey checked and didn’t see it. Believing that she would find it upon closer inspection, she said nothing to me about it until, two days later, a closer inspection revealed that the property was definitely not where Bobby had said it was.

It was gone.

We carefully evaluated what might have happened to it. But when we determined that Bobby was the only one who had access to it, and that it was not where he claimed he had returned it, Lindsey and I went to talk to Bobby and his mother.

During the conversation, Bobby denied the theft but changed his story multiple times. I calmly but firmly pointed out the physical impossibility of some of the things he was claiming, and I shared the reasons for our suspicions that he had taken the cards. Bobby’s mother declined to consider anything we said and became offended that we would think her son might be stealing from us (despite his record of previous, albeit different, offenses against our family). She told us her kids would no longer play with ours because we had suspected him. Unable to make any headway, we calmly thanked her for her time and left quietly.

I was angry. Mess with me, that’s one thing; mess with my children, that’s quite another. But I knew that the way I handled this incident would serve not only as an example for Lindsey, but for our other children as well. And I knew that Jesus’ way is always best, even when it isn’t the way I might feel like responding.

So I did my best not only to comfort Lindsey, who was deeply sad (I was too), but also to use this experience to teach her some life lessons.

First, we need to be careful whom we trust. I’m not suggesting that we walk around suspicious of everyone we meet. But when it comes to trusting someone in an important matter, we must be careful whom we choose to trust, because not everyone will prove trustworthy. It may not be wise to trust someone you’ve just met with your deepest thoughts and feelings; it is definitely not wise to trust someone who has a track record of hurting you.

Second, when people mistreat us, we have a choice as to how to respond. We can either respond in kind and mistreat them right back; or we can choose Jesus’ way and be kind to them despite what they’ve done to us. Yes, we may have to take steps to protect ourselves from them (Bobby wouldn’t have been allowed back into our yard or home anyway, even if his mother hadn’t prohibited him from coming), but we can still treat them with kindness. It was right for Lindsey and me to go to Bobby’s house and try to resolve the issue with him and his mother; it would have been wrong for us to go there and become harsh or disrespectful with our words.

Third—and this is the one I tend to forget—we need to pray for those who have hurt us. “You know, Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies,” I said gently to Lindsey. “We need to pray for Bobby.” “I already have been,” Lindsey said. Not just praying that he would return the property, but praying that God would convict his heart and bring him into a relationship with Jesus. We also prayed together.

Fourth, we need to remember that we ourselves are sinners. Before Lindsey and I went to Bobby’s house, we prayed together. We prayed that God would give us the right words and attitude, and we prayed that Bobby and his mother would respond well. We also thanked God for His forgiveness which He is willing to extend to all repentant sinners, which we (not just Bobby) need to receive as well.

Finally, we forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that we say that what the offender did was okay (it wasn’t). Nor do we say that it didn’t hurt us (it did). Nor does it necessarily mean we give him or her the opportunity to do it again (there are times when it is good and right to set boundaries to protect ourselves). What it does mean is that we choose not to take revenge against or punish the offender ourselves, but rather leave that up to God and/or the legal system.

It’s hard to react rightly when someone has sinned against us, and especially when that person doesn’t admit the offense or isn’t sorry. But by responding the way Jesus would have us respond, we not only please the Lord and bring Him glory, but we also benefit ourselves. That’s because God blesses those who follow Him and His ways with spiritual blessings, not the least of which is His “peace that passeth understanding” (see Phil. 4:7).

Don’t trade the peace and other spiritual blessings you could be experiencing for the temporary and only partial satisfaction of staying angry or taking revenge. Trust God that what He has planned for you in the wake of the sin that’s been committed against you is far better than what you could devise for yourself.

Luke 6:28—Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

Finding the Best

Megan Breedlove No Comments

SeashellsThis past weekend, I had the incredible opportunity to spend a couple days with several of my friends whom I had previously only met online. We’ve been friends for almost ten years, and we wanted to meet each other in person. So we all converged on the Disney resort at Hilton Head, and we had a wonderful time.

One of the things some of us did was take a walk on the beach to enjoy the beautiful scenery and look for seashells. We didn’t find many shells—it was the wrong time of day—but we enjoyed peering into the sand in search of just that perfect shell.

Some of the shells I found appeared perfect because they were partially buried in the sand. But when I picked them up, I discovered that they were broken. I tossed those back to the ground and kept looking. When I found a perfect one, I rinsed it off in the ocean and put it in my pocket—and then kept looking for more.

In the same way I looked for those shells, you and I need to look for the great things our children do. We need to be willing to search through all the things our children do wrong until we find something they’re doing right, and then we need to keep looking for even more things they’re doing right.

Yes, we need to correct and discipline our children when they’re sinned, and when they’ve made a simple mistake, we need to correct that too. That’s not wrong. What’s wrong is when we focus on the negatives to the exclusion of the positives. We put all our energy into fixing the broken shells rather than rejoicing in the ones that are unbroken.

Our children’s behavior is like that beach. It’s full of shells (actions). Some are desirable, and some are undesirable. When we find an action that needs correcting, it’s okay to stop and do that. But then we need to toss it aside and go back to looking for the good things they’ve done.

You and I as moms love it when the important people in our lives notice things we’ve done well. We wouldn’t want them to harp on the negatives while ignoring everything we do right. Yet too often, that’s what we do to our kids. We take the unbroken shells for granted and spend all our time trying to convince our children to remedy the broken ones.

How discouraged or even angry our children must get sometimes, when all they hear about is the things they’ve done wrong! Harping on their sins and mistakes is one easy way to provoke them, something the Bible tells us we’re not supposed to do.

What difference would it make in our homes if we spent as much time looking for what our children do right and rejoicing in those things as we do concentrating on the negative? Would our children be more encouraged? Would we?

Why not try it and find out?

Ephesians 6:4—Fathers (and mothers), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (ESV; parentheses added)

While You Can

Megan Breedlove No Comments

This past week, I attended the Colorado Christian Writers Conference in beautiful Estes Park. I spent three days on the campus of the YMCA of the Rockies, which is surrounded by mountains (some of which were still snow-capped). My spirit was refreshed by the worship sessions there, and I loved getting to reconnect with old friends as well as make new ones. I especially enjoyed teaching my clinic and getting to know my students.

wildflowers growing in rocky groundEven walking in between the buildings to get where I needed to be was a pleasure as I soaked in the beautiful scenery. Once, on my way to one particular building, I happened to notice two dandelions poking their heads up between some rocks. I thought they were pretty, so I stopped and took their picture, then continued into the building to teach my clinic.

When I came out an hour later, I looked for the dandelions again. They were still there, but one had closed up its beautiful yellow head. I realized that if I hadn’t taken the picture when I first saw them, I would have missed my chance.

Our children, too, are flowers that are only open some of the time. We can’t count on being able to connect with them or teach them any time we want. We have to do it when they’re open.

For example, our children tend to be most open to learning to love Jesus when they’re young. If we don’t make it a priority to introduce them to Him and teach them about Him while we can, we might miss the opportunity. That’s not to say that missing one opportunity will doom our children to a life without Christ. But when we consistently fail to make spiritual instruction a priority, we’re missing the chance to teach them while they’re open.

Likewise, there are moments in each day when we have the chance to connect with our children’s hearts. Yet often we’re too busy on Facebook or with some other pursuit to really stop and connect. Again, missing one opportunity won’t doom us to a bad relationship with our children or cause them to grow up feeling unloved. But missing those opportunities on a consistent basis means failing to pour love into their lives while we have the chance.

Precious mom, watch carefully for the times when your children are open. Ask God to open your eyes to see those times you might have missed otherwise. And then take action. Don’t miss the opportunity.

Do it while you can.

Ephesians 5:15-16—Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (NIV)

Someday Heroes

Megan Breedlove No Comments

Before I became a parent, I was pretty sure that training and disciplining a child would be easy. My child would do A, I would calmly respond with a well-thought-out and right-on-target B, and I would get result C—cheerful obedience or successful completion of the task. For the more stubborn issues, the process might repeat itself once or twice.

I didn’t realize that my kids wouldn’t always “get it” as soon as I thought they should.

Your kids probably don’t always understand or comply with your instructions the first time either. You know how frustrating it can be to remind a child to do a task he’s already forgotten (or resisted doing) several times, or to have to repeatedly explain something before your child says, “Ohhhhhh, I get it.”

Jesus understands the need to explain yourself over and over because, although He didn’t have children, He had the disciples. And they required plenty of explanations and repetition for what they should have been able to understand sooner.

Check out what Jesus says in Luke 24:44. “These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.” (ESV) He had already told them that He would be put to death then raised on the third day. But they didn’t really understand until Jesus said, “See? This is what I was talking about all those other times” (my paraphrase).

These twelve guys, Jesus’ chosen ones, didn’t always understand their Master the first time He said something. They couldn’t always do something the first time they tried (see Matthew 17:14-23). Yet despite the fact they were adults and might have been expected to know better, Jesus didn’t give up on them. He was willing to invest His life in them and even repeat Himself a few, or a million, times, so that He could build men who would one day become the pillars of His church. Men who would become heroes of the faith.

Precious mom, as you rear your children, you, too, are building men or women who will one day become the pillars of Christ’s church.

That little boy who won’t stop throwing expensive things into the toilet? Someday, he may be a pillar of the church.

The little girl who still has to be reminded to wash her hands after she uses the potty? A beautiful pillar in the house of her God.

The older boy who can’t keep his room clean to save his life? One day, a hero of the faith.

Even little Peter, James, and John probably had to be told a million times to shut that door. Even the Apostle Paul, when he was a child, had to be taught to strap on his sandals. And yet these same kids who didn’t “get it” the first time or the tenth or the fiftieth, went on to become heroes.

It doesn’t matter if your kids don’t look much like heroes today. God can make them heroes, mighty men and women who contend fearlessly for their faith and their God in the marketplace, in their homes, and in their churches. He can take that child you devoutly hope won’t pick his or her nose during the school play and embarrass you, and turn him or her into a mighty warrior for His cause.

So when it seems like you’ve already told your children something a million times…when it seems like a particular discipline problem will never get resolved…when you wonder why your children just don’t get it, remember that someday, they probably will.

Someday, they just might be heroes.

Matthew 17:14-23— When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.” “O unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment. Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. ” When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of men. They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief.

S-t-u-p-i-d

Megan Breedlove 11 Comments

This past February, when I was realllly pregnant (I know they say you’re either pregnant or you’re not, but I think when you are 9 months pregnant, you are realllly pregnant), my sister came down from Michigan to visit us and to be here for my baby shower. I absolutely loved having her here. She is one of my best friends, and she’s lots of fun. We always have a blast when we’re together.

We have many similarities not only in our physical appearance but in our senses of humor, our beliefs about certain things, and so forth. Of course, we also have some differences, and one of these is that Kristen will occasionally use a curse word. However, when she’s in my home, she voluntarily makes an effort not to do so. This visit, she’d been doing great in avoiding what my kids and I call “bad words”. So as we sat chatting in the living room, she said, pleased, “I don’t think I’ve used any bad words at all.”

“Nope. You’ve been doing great,” I said.

And from her position next to me on the couch, Ellie piped up into the conversation, “Mommy said a bad word once.”

“Huh?” I said, and the look on my face must have shown that I didn’t know what Ellie was talking about.

“Oh, really?” Kristen said gleefully at the same time. “What did Mommy say?”

Ellie glanced at me. She knows you’re not supposed to repeat bad words.

“It’s okay,” I said to her. “You can say what I said.”

Ellie glanced from me to Kristen and back to me.

“Really,” I said, curious to find out what bad word I had supposedly said. “You can repeat it.”

Ellie looked at Kristen and said, as if she felt embarrassed on my behalf, “She said ‘s-t-u-p-i-d’.”

Yep, she spelled it. She was unwilling to say such a bad word out loud. So she spelled it, then looked at me, hoping I wasn’t mad.

Kristen and I burst into laughter. “That’s it?” Kristen asked, disappointed.

I must have called something “stupid”—I absolutely never use that word to refer to a person, because it’s insulting, demeaning, and totally unnecessary to use it in that way. I really don’t remember the incident Ellie was referring to and therefore don’t know what exactly I said.

What I do know is that my word choice stuck with Ellie. Even when it was no big deal to me, it mattered to her. I don’t know how long it had been since the time I used that word, but apparently Ellie still remembered it.

What this tells me is that I better be careful and intentional about the words I use on a daily basis.

I can’t afford to be careless or unintentional in my speech to my children. They will remember the words I’ve said—maybe not the “clean your room” words, but at least the words they considered bad. And when those words are directed at them, they may remember for a very long time.

That’s not to say that kids remember every mistake we’ve made. They don’t (thank God). Nor does every carelessly spoken word lead to their being scarred for life (thank God again). But knowing that our words can have an impact we don’t necessarily intend, we must do our best to make sure we are purposefully uplifting in our speech, especially to our children. We must.

Moms, if someone were to ask our children what bad words we had said lately, would our children have to work very hard to come up with a response?

Would they recall curse words? Would they recall insults directed at them or even at that driver in front of us? Would they remember that we shouted or rolled our eyes as we spoke? Would they remember a tone of disgust where there shouldn’t have been one? Would they be able to tell others about the times we used our words (even unintentionally) to discourage or belittle them or their efforts?

I pray the answer is no, both in your family and in mine. The old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” simply isn’t true. Words, even those that aren’t specifically insults, have tremendous power to uplift or to tear down. Even when our words aren’t directed at them, our children’s consciences can be wounded by hearing us speak rudely to the clerk at the grocery store, talk about someone behind her back, or disrespect our husband.

I once heard it said that if you wouldn’t want to stand up in front of your church on Sunday morning and tell them you did something, you shouldn’t do it at all (the obvious exceptions being those things that are legitimately private). This is a great rule, and it applies to words too. If you wouldn’t want to tell others what you said and the tone with which you said it, you shouldn’t have said it to your children either

But I’m not perfect, you might be thinking. I make mistakes all the time.

We all do. Sometimes, we get things wrong. We wound our children when we don’t mean to. You’re not alone.

But because that’s true—that we’re imperfect and guaranteed to mess up sometimes—we owe it to our children to do everything within our power to make sure those times are as few and far between as possible. We should give our children the best we have, not just whatever words happen to come out of our mouths without much thought.

Most of us recently spent a lot of time trying to decide what to get our kids for Christmas, purchasing the chosen items, wrapping them, and placing them under the tree. Shouldn’t we spend just as much time—actually, far more—in purposefully speaking to our children pleasant words that will create a peaceful, secure, and loving atmosphere in our home?

After all, most of the Christmas presents will soon go by the wayside. But the gift of our consistently loving speech will never be forgotten.

Proverbs 15:4—Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit. (GNT)

Proverbs 16:24— Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (NIV)

Colossians 4:6—Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out. (MSG)

Timmy’s Life of Crime

Megan Breedlove 2 Comments

You would think age 9 months is too young to get arrested. Apparently, it’s not. Poor Timmy got arrested four times yesterday.

I’ll vouch for him that he has a really good excuse, though. You see, the four older kids had spread out their candy stashes (left over from Fall festivals, birthday parties, and who knows what else) on the dining room floor so they could trade candy. However, they failed to take into account that Timmy was awake and in the vicinity.

Timmy, upon seeing this wonderland of goodies spread out in front of him, headed straight for it and started grabbing things. “No, Timmy!” the other kids would say, snatching their candy out of his hand. Then, the minute they turned their back, he grabbed something else.

Finally, Kenny decided to put an end to the problem. “All right, Timmy,” he said—perfectly pleasantly—“I’m arresting you.” Kenny got up, lifted Timmy out of the midst of it all, and brought him to me.

This happened three more times, until finally the kids took my suggestion and decided to put their candy away until sometime when Timmy wasn’t around.

So ended Timmy’s brief life of crime. I don’t think he learned anything from the incident, and I’m sure he runs the risk of being re-arrested the first time he gets a chance to commit a similar crime. Can’t really blame Timmy, though. When temptation is spread out right there in front of him, what could a 9-month-old be expected to do besides wade right in?

We would do well to remember this principle in regards to what we as moms spread out right in front of our children.

What kinds of media do we allow into our home? Do we allow books or videos where the characters have a generally bad attitude, where sin goes uncorrected, and where that sin is made to look fun or funny? Do we allow music with questionable lyrics or values that don’t match up with our family’s values? When we do—when we spread these actions and attitudes out in front of our kids—how can we be surprised if they want to wade right in?

What about our own actions? Are we spreading hypocrisy in front of our children by telling them not to lie, then instructing the to tell an unwanted caller that we’re not home? Do we tell them to be kind to their siblings, then we scream at them? Or tell them to be hard workers, then spend all day on Facebook? When we spread out in front of our kids the idea that gratifying our own desires and pleasing ourselves is what’s most important, is it any wonder they want to wade right in?

Moms, we have a choice, and we need to make our choice very carefully, because the odds are that whatever we spread out in front of them is what they will choose to get involved in. We can spread out the stuff of this world, or we can spread out God, His character, and His ways. Of course, we can’t guarantee that our children will choose God, but we can make it a whole lot more likely when we show them God and live out a relationship with Him in front of them.

Which will it be, moms? What will we influence our children to become involved in?

Proverbs 13:20—Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Grocery Shopping

Megan Breedlove No Comments

In the hustle and bustle of finishing the additions to the manuscript for my second book, as well as throwing Kenny’s 8th birthday party, both of which happened on the same weekend, we got low on groceries. Having focused intently on other things, I hadn’t been paying much attention to the fact that if we wanted some nice meals to eat this week, somebody would have to go to the store.

Fortunately, I love grocery shopping. For me, the best thing about it is the freedom to buy things I want. When I’m in a generous mood, I let the kids help me pick out things to buy (they usually pick out various kinds of snacks as well as those little, white powdered-sugar donuts for breakfast).

I often ask the kids something like, “Can you find the kind of peanut butter we buy?” They love finding our peanut butter on the shelf and putting it into the cart. It’s kind of like a game.

So today, knowing I would have to go to the store, I was thinking about how we do this, and how they enjoy it. And I realized that while I’m pretty good at playing games with them in the grocery store (we even played “Treasure Hunt” once to look for the items on our list), I don’t really teach them why we buy certain brands instead of others, or why we do or don’t buy certain products.

I guess that’s not really a big deal, though at some point they will have to learn to make these decisions. But I sure hope I’m preparing them for life better than I’m preparing them to go grocery shopping.

See, in life, you have to make all kinds of decisions every day, and you usually better have some reason for it other than, “Well, that’s just what we do.” It’s fine to have traditions that your family keeps, as well as your own ways of doing things. But if you never teach your kids to think about why you do or don’t do certain things, they will get out into the world on their own and not know how to make decisions.

Why are we Christians? Why aren’t we Jews, or atheists?

Why do we treat each other kindly? Why can’t we hit someone who takes a toy away from us? (By the way, the answer to that is a lot deeper than “because it might hurt someone”.)

Why do we say no to a certain purchase because we can’t pay cash for it?

Why do we put money into the Salvation Army kettle at Christmastime?

Why do we work hard in school or in the workplace?

Why do we live in a certain neighborhood and not somewhere more or less expensive?

Why do we attend the church we attend? Or why don’t we attend church?

Why do we tip the waitress when we go out to eat?

I want to be teaching my children not only how to act, but why they should act that way. Otherwise, they will grow up, find themselves in a situation I haven’t covered, and they won’t know what to do. Or, equally bad, they might decide that if Mommy never told them why, maybe there really isn’t a good reason, so they can act any way they want the minute Mommy isn’t there to stop them.

In life, I want my children to know which products on the shelves to choose and which to avoid…and why. I want them to know which people to avoid and why—and which not to avoid. I want my children to be able to make wise decisions based on an understanding of the principles our family lives by, not just an understanding of what will make Mommy mad and get them in trouble.

This doesn’t mean that you try to reason with a toddler who doesn’t want to get into a car seat. That toddler doesn’t understand the concept of “car wreck”. You simply have to put him in the seat, whether he likes it or not. But you can still say, “You have to sit in your seat so you can be safe.” Then, later, you can begin to explain what safety is and why it’s important so that when the time comes, your child will understand how to make his own decisions.

Likewise, you also don’t have to explain your every decision. When a child demands, “Why?” and you know they’re not really asking for information but rather complaining, you don’t have to offer them some reason that’s good enough in order for them to obey you. But in most situations, and especially as your children get older, it will benefit them to know what you are thinking.

Precious mom, are you teaching your kids to make good decisions? Ultimately, the most important decision you want them to make is that you want them to choose Jesus, and then you want them to choose His ways for the rest of their lives. Are you helping build good decision-making and thinking skills into their repertoire so they can do that? Will what they’ve learned at home help them make the decisions that only get more complicated as they grow older?

Teaching your children how to act is more than just teaching them what to do. It also involves teaching them why they should do it.

Ezekiel 44:23—They are to teach my people the difference between the holy and the common and show them how to distinguish between the unclean and the clean.

Advent Activities for Kids (Week 4)

Megan Breedlove No Comments

As announced, I am trying something different this year. Instead of posting weekly devotions, I will post Advent activities for each day in December up to, and including, Christmas. Each activity illustrates a particular aspect of the Christmas story and is designed to help you and your children think about this precious story in a (perhaps) new and different way. Most activities require almost no advance preparation; a few do require some prep time, and these are clearly marked. If it works better for your family to do different activities on different days, feel free to do so. Or, if you think of your own activity that would be more meaningful to you and your family, I hope you will use yours instead of mine.

My prayer is that God will use these activities to bring you and your children closer to our Savior. May He grant you a new appreciation for the tremendous gift He gave us in sending His Son, and may the peace of that Baby born in a stable rule your hearts this Christmas, and always.

December 22—In Greek, the verb phrase that is usually translated “wrapped him in swaddling cloths” is better translated “swaddled him”. Have your children swaddle a baby doll (or a real baby, if you have one, and if your child is old enough) and lay it in a bed. Ask your children what they think Mary would have had to do to take care of her baby. Encourage your children to pick up the baby (you could pretend it was crying), sing it a song, or simply pat its little head. Remind your children that you took care of them that way when they were little, and Mary had to take care of Jesus the same way. End tonight’s activity by showing your child pictures of him- or herself all swaddled up as a newborn. Talk about how you laid your child in a crib, and Mary laid Jesus in a manger.

December 23—Have your child tell you the Christmas story. If it’s at all possible, record this or take notes. (It’ll be sweet and funny to look back on later.) Your child can physically act out all the characters if he or she is so inclined. If your child is unclear about any part of the story, you can gently re-explain the parts he or she has missed. This activity will not only help them review their knowledge, but also bless your heart.

December 24—Consider letting your children open one gift each on this day. Before they open it, explain to them that every good and perfect gift that comes to them is ultimately from God (James 1:17). Tell them that God gave them the gift they are about to receive. After they have opened it, remind them to thank God directly.

December 25—(Note: advance preparation needed!) Have a birthday party for Jesus. Decorate for His party, sing “Happy Birthday”, and have cake (or another snack). Give Him presents. This will consist of offering Him the gifts you have prepared beforehand. You might make things to donate to the needy; you might collect food; you might think of a way to minister to someone in your own home. Remind your children that Jesus said that whatever we do for someone else, we do for Him, so giving to others is one way we can show Him that we love Him.

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