Manna For Moms

Devotions for Moms Like You!

2009

Nobody Cares

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

It was turning out to be a rough morning.

As I sat at the computer, Ellie (four or five years old at the time) came to me and asked me to go up into the attic and get down something for her. I told her that I was busy. When she realized that she wouldn’t be able to change my mind, she walked away crying.

I could hear the sounds of her wails fading through the kitchen, dining room, and then living room. I sighed. Then, from the front of the house, came words loud enough for me to hear: “Nobody cares.”

I’ll admit that I was irritated. Very irritated. I got up and followed Ellie, who by this time was in her bedroom. I went in to talk to her—or, more accurately, let off steam at her. “How dare you?” I asked. “How dare you say I don’t care about you? All the things I do for you, and I do one thing you don’t like, and you say I don’t care?”

It wasn’t the right approach because I wasn’t approaching her redemptively at all. I was coming to her in anger. The talk was unsuccessful (mostly because of my attitude), and I came back to the computer, fuming.

But gradually, I began to hear God’s still, small voice in my heart, and I knew I had been wrong. Yes, Ellie’s attitude needed to be corrected, but I should have done so in love. Precious little children are not designed by God to be able to respond at a peer level to adult anger. By the time Ellie came to me a few minutes later, wanting to sit on my lap and have me hold her close, I was much calmer. I explained slowly, calmly, and lovingly that “I used to have a job where people told me I was wonderful and I made money, but I gave that up to stay home with you kids.” She was listening, so I continued gently.

“I used to be able to go out to restaurants and eat any time I wanted to, but I don’t do that as much anymore so I can stay home and make meals for you kids. I used to be able to buy myself lots of things, but now, I buy you kids things instead.”

After a pause, Ellie said thoughtfully, “I guess you do love me.”

She had gotten the message.

But she wasn’t the only one who had gotten it. I, too, had something to learn.

Through Ellie’s emotions, God caused me to realize that many times, we do the same thing to Him that Ellie did to me. We accuse Him of not loving us just because He does something we don’t like, or fails to do something we would like. If God really loved me, we think—because we wouldn’t dare address these thoughts to God directly—He would be helping me out more right now.

What would God say in response to our accusations? Perhaps He would remind us of His majesty and sovereignty without ever giving a direct answer, as was the case with Job. Or perhaps He might say something like this: “I sent my Son to die for you. I provide the very air you breathe and your ability to breathe it. I provide every material blessing you have. How dare you accuse Me of not caring?”

The reason Ellie’s comment bothered me so much was because she (though unintentionally) was implying that my love for her was lacking, when in fact, I love her with all my being and would die for her without hesitation if that were required of me.

When we imply that God doesn’t love us, we grieve His heart for the same reason. He loves us with all of His being, and He died for us without hesitation.

Have you grieved your Father’s heart by questioning His love for you? Have you implied, or even told Him directly, that if He really loved you, He would do things your way?

If you have, run into His arms and beg His forgiveness. His arms are still open to receive you even though you’ve wounded Him. Confess your sin of doubting His love and His goodness. Then, receive His incredible grace that receives you and restores you to a right relationship with Him.

Realize the truth and speak the words, “You do love me, God.” Then go, in the mighty security of His love, and doubt no more.

Job 42:5-6—My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.

Super Kenny

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Inside my four-year-old son, Kenny, lives the heart of a superhero. Superman, to be precise. Kenny has two pairs of Superman jammies—long ones for winter, and short ones for summer. Each set of jammies comes with a cape that I velcro to the little spots on the shoulders of his pajama top. With this addition of this cape, Kenny becomes Super Kenny. He can run really fast, and he can even fly with his arms straight out in front of him, just like Superman (if we hold him up). Super Kenny has the biggest, proudest grin you’ve ever seen.

Without the cape, though, he’s just a little boy in a pair of jammies that’s missing something.

I found this out one night when Kenny was getting ready for bed. He came into the room where I was, wearing his pajamas. “You’re Super Kenny!” I said.

“No,” he said sadly, gazing toward the floor. “I can’t find my cape.”

“You can be Super Kenny even without your cape,” I said.

“No,” he repeated. “I have to have my cape.”

“Go look again where your jammies are,” I suggested.

Kenny left silently. He returned less than a minute later, holding the beloved red polyester rectangle. “I found it!” he said excitedly.

I quickly attached it to his shoulders, and Kenny turned to face me, his grin lighting up his whole face. “Now I’m Super Kenny!” he said proudly.

I knew that he’d been Super Kenny all along. But Kenny didn’t know it. He thought he needed that piece of fabric to complete his identity and transform him from a regular boy into someone spectacular. What he didn’t realize was that he’d been spectacular all along.

Kenny’s status as someone truly marvelous never depended on what he wore. God has declared him to be fearfully and wonderfully made, and that right there is enough to bestow upon him “super” status. I knew that Kenny was just as super no matter what he was wearing, or what he possessed. But he thought that in order to be truly spectacular, he needed something more than himself.

Precious mommy friend, do you ever find yourself thinking the same thing about yourself? That if you had something more—if you just dressed better, or looked prettier, or were smarter—you could be truly spectacular?

For many years of my life, I bought into Satan’s lie that if I were just prettier or more popular, I would be more special. I spent years trying to improve myself in these areas so that I could be something remarkable, all the while failing to realize that I already was.

How I wish I had realized much sooner that I was already super because God said so, and if He said so, that made it true. My status as marvelously unique and wonderful didn’t depend at all on what anybody else thought, or even on what I thought of myself. It depended then, and depends now, solely on what God declares to be true of me.

Can you empathize with me? Do you wish you could change one or more areas of your life so that you could finally feel like you really are super? It’s understandable. The devil is an expert liar and deceiver, and he is very skilled in hitting us where it hurts: our sense of ourselves. Instead of valuable and special, he wants us to see ourselves as worthless and common.

I don’t know the circumstances of your life, or why you feel that you aren’t very special. I do know that you can do the same thing I did after many years and much pain (though I hope it won’t take you nearly as long as it took me): you can choose to believe God.

It’s that simple. Simple, but not easy. I know it’s not. Remember, I’ve been there, and I stayed there for awhile. But what it all comes down to is this: will we choose to believe what God declares to be true about us, or will we find our sense of value in the things we possess or in what other people tell us about ourselves?

God has declared you to be His wonderful creation. You can choose to believe that, or not. You can count the opinions of other finite human beings as more valuable than His. But oh, friend, if you acknowledge that what He says about you is true, even if it doesn’t feel true, that’s the first step in truly coming to believe in the depths of your soul that you are marvelous and precious.

Take that first step. Declare that you believe God and want to take Him at His word, and He will meet you there at your point of need. He will clothe you not with a red polyester cape, but with every spiritual blessing that you need in order to realize that you are His beloved, amazing child.

Of course, if you don’t know God, the first thing you need to do is get to know Him. If you’re not sure how, check out the How to Know God section of this website, or ask a family member, friend, or pastor. Don’t miss out on knowing a God who knows you completely (because He made you) and loves you so deeply that He sent His son Jesus to die on a cross, taking the punishment for your sins so that you could then draw close to Him. He loves you that much.

You can trust a God like that. Do it, and choose to believe His opinion over anyone else’s, including your own. After all, His is really the only one that matters.

Psalm 139:14—I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Mommy Guilt

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Most of us are generally confident that we’re good mothers. We know we’re not perfect, but we believe we’re doing a good job. We feel secure in our role and in the way we mother.

Sometimes, however, Mommy Guilt pushes security out of the way and takes over.

Mommy Guilt is that guilt we feel over not being the “perfect” mom—or over the possibility that we might have done something wrong or failed to do something right.

We want so badly to do this job well because the results matter so much. It’s easy for us to become consumed with wondering if we’ve done enough, and suspecting we haven’t. Mommy Guilt hurts, because not much feels worse than to think you have failed your child.

Granted, there are times we do wrong. If our wrongdoing involves sin, the Holy Spirit will not allow us to be at peace until we have repented. If we have made a mistake, we must correct it so it doesn’t happen again.

Mommy Guilt doesn’t result from actual wrongdoing. It arises from feared or imagined wrongdoing. It leaves us with a vague sense of being insufficient or not doing enough. It is viciously destructive. There are four reasons why.

First, Mommy Guilt doesn’t come from God. When the Holy Spirit prompts us to feel guilty, He always tells us what our sin has been. This appropriate guilt is not vague at all. It’s very specific. God’s goal for our lives is for us to be conformed to the image of His Son. He will not convict us without telling us what we are doing wrong and what we must do to begin doing right.

Second, Mommy Guilt is so damaging is that it causes us to do a worse job of parenting. When we feel guilty for being insufficient, we are focusing on ourselves and not our children. We may even make wrong decisions in an attempt to “make up for” the things we have done that we feel were insufficient.

Third, Mommy Guilt paralyzes us. It doesn’t free us to do a better job. Instead, it leaves us doubting ourselves and our abilities. We become afraid to move forward because we fear we’ll just make the problem worse.

Fourth, Mommy Guilt doesn’t even give us an accurate basis for feeling guilty. We wind up feeling guilty because we aren’t perfect or all-sufficient, when in reality, the only perfect, all-sufficient Person is God. Friend, you and I are not God, and praise Him that we don’t have to be.

So what can we do when Mommy Guilt tries to sink its hooks into us?

We can pray. We should ask God whether we really have done something wrong and if there is anything He wants us to correct. If the Holy Spirit doesn’t bring anything to mind, we should determine not to feel guilty. We may not be able to stop the devil from continually bringing up thoughts of our guilt, but we can certainly control whether or not we dwell on those and let them affect our lives. We can choose not to feel guilty unless God says that we are.

Next, we change our standards, from an unreachable standard of perfection to the standards God has for us. God’s standards are that we love Him first, and second love our child as ourselves. He does expect us to love Himself and our children with everything we’re capable of. But He also knows how He made us. He knows the challenges we face, and He doesn’t expect us to have every ability known to man (or woman) and exercise them all at the same time.

Finally, we move on. God knew our abilities and limitations, and He still blessed us with our children. He chose them for us. He wanted our children to have US—not some Super Mommy that doesn’t even exist. It doesn’t matter if another mommy drives a newer minivan or makes better birthday cakes. It’s okay. God chose you. You are what your children need.

May God bless us all with an extra sense of His acceptance this week. May we feel Him put His arms around us, as we do around our dear children, and tell us that He’s glad we’re their mommy.

2 Corinthians 2:18—And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Catch Kenny

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

My children are often great playmates. They have their squabbles sometimes, but usually, they play well together. Sometimes, I can even leave them in the front part of the house playing while I get work accomplished in another part of the house.

It was on one such day that I heard the kids trying to decide what to play. Lindsey, who loves hide-and-seek, was trying to convince Ellie to join her. “Count, Ellie,” Lindsey urged.

“No, we have to catch Kenny,” Ellie answered. (The rooms in part of our house form a circle, and the kids enjoy chasing each other around and around.)

“Come on, count, Ellie. We’re playing hide-and-seek,” Lindsey insisted.

“No,” Ellie said, “We’re playing ‘Catch Kenny’.”

Ellie and Lindsey’s dilemma was simple. They had to agree on what to play. Until then, they wouldn’t be able to play together at all.

We adults face the same problem, don’t we? We know that we want to work together, but we can’t agree on how to get there. All we know is that we don’t want to do it the way the other person suggested.

In Ellie and Lindsey’s case, if they had been unable to reach an agreement, they could have gone their separate ways, and it wouldn’t really have mattered all that much. In the adult world, the consequences of failing to work together are sometimes much more serious.

Take, for example, a married couple. The husband and wife both want a good marriage, but they can’t agree on who should do what in order to make that come about. They argue, each trying to convince the other to do things his or her way. But if they fail to reach an agreement and go their separate ways, the consequences are disaster for them and their children.

Or what about trying to run a church? One group wants to use some of the revenue to build a new facility. Another group wants to use that same money for outreach. Who’s right? Perhaps both. Both of them have the same goal of reaching unbelievers for Jesus. Nonetheless, if the groups can’t agree, there will be consequences. At the very least, the money will sit in the bank accomplishing nothing. At the worst, people will turn against one another and wound each other, and the cause of Christ will be made to look petty.

It takes generosity, unselfishness, and humility to be able to work together well. Humility isn’t easy for most of us. We’d much rather convince people to our way of thinking than go over to theirs. So we continue to argue about what we’re supposed to be doing, and no one is willing to compromise.

In Ellie and Lindsey’s case, they were able to reach a resolution before there were any hurt feelings on either side. Lindsey agreed to play what Ellie wanted her to play, and the problem was solved. I suggest that we as adults learn from the way Lindsey handled the situation. She was willing to concede so that she and her sister could play together. Being together with her sister was more important to her than allowing the disagreement to continue. Getting her way didn’t matter. What mattered to her was reaching the goal of playing together.

If only we adults could be like that more often. So many of our petty squabbles could easily be resolved if one of us would just be willing to do things the other person’s way. What’s more important to us—having things the way we want them, or reaching the goal together?

Maybe there’s some area in which you’ve been arguing with someone about the way to accomplish something. Is it possible that you need to let the other person have his or her way? Ask God to show you what you need to do in order to achieve the greater good of reaching the goal together with that other person. Ask Him to produce the fruits of His Spirit in you as you handle the situation. You’ll find that handling it His way leads to far greater satisfaction than getting what you want but not acting in love.

Galatians 5:22-23—But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Paper, Please

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

I was sitting in my rocker, nursing Jessica, when Lindsey entered the room. She went over to Ellie’s desk, got Ellie’s crayons down, and said, “I want to color.”

“Go ask Daddy for some paper,” I said, since I couldn’t get up to get her any at the moment.

She went out to the computer desk, where my husband was sitting, and said, “I need some paper.”

He didn’t hear her. “What?” he asked.

“I need some paper,” Lindsey repeated matter-of-factly.

“How do you ask nicely?” he said.

Lindsey responded, sweetly, “Paper, please.”

God used this simple exchange to illustrate an important truth.

Sometimes, we approach God and deliver our requests as if we’re placing an order, assuming they will be granted because we have spoken. It’s true that we should have confidence in approaching God, and that we should believe that He desires to grant us good gifts. But we should never be arrogant in approaching Him, and we should certainly never take Him for granted.

Why did we teach Lindsey to ask nicely for what she wanted? Because it’s polite. That’s how people like to be asked. God likes to be asked nicely, too. He is not our genie, where all we have to do is ask according to a certain formula in order to ensure that we will receive what we asked for. No, He is a Person. He wants us to ask him humbly for what we need, realizing that He may or may not grant it according to His far superior understanding of our needs and His sovereign purposes.

Yes, we are to come boldly, but let’s remember to Whom we are coming. We are approaching Almighty God, Creator of the universe, Master of everything. He is not our servant—we are His.

Most of us wouldn’t dream of saying to another human being, “I need some money,” and then walking away without so much as a thank you, expecting the person to give us any cash. Why, then, do we approach God this way?

Oh, maybe we phrase it differently. We’re more likely to say, “Dear God, please make me feel better. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.” But when our words are merely form, and when they reflect not a humble heart but a self-entitled one, we are not asking rightly.

Friend, are our prayers nothing more than demands delivered heavenward with our eyes closed, couched in spiritual terms so that they have a better chance of getting a “yes” answer? Do we speak to God with a complete failure to listen to what God might be saying in response? Do we fail to remember that we are speaking, not to a heavenly slot machine, but to a Person?

I know that when one of my children approaches me with a request and asks rightly, not only in words but with a heart that’s right toward me, I delight in granting the request, if at all possible. How much more then must God delight in doing so?

Lindsey’s words didn’t reflect any intent to be impolite. She was simply assuming that Daddy or I would meet her needs. Her words reflected confidence in us as her parents that we would give her what she needed.

We can have even greater confidence in our Heavenly Father that our needs will be met. He will always give us what we need, sometimes even before we ask at all.

But when we do ask, we should remember to do it out of a humble heart that recognizes that He is God and we are not. We should ask confidently yet respectfully. We should approach Him as we would want to be approached by one of our children, out of a love relationship that acknowledges we don’t have to grant the request, but we will if we can.

When my children ask me for something and I grant it, I love to hear them say thank you. How much more, then, should we be prepared to thank God for the blessings He gives us that we don’t deserve, but which He pours out upon us anyway?

So take your requests to God—all kinds of requests, on all kinds of occasions. Just remember that it’s a privilege to do it, and ask Him in a way that reflects that understanding. Then, thank Him for His answer.

You’ll make His heart glad, and that’s an incredible privilege.

Ephesians 6:18—And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

Matthew 7:11—If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

A Really Good Flyer

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

Our house is filled with toys. At least, it sometimes seems that way. I’ve even found the kids’ toys under my bed and in the drawer of my nightstand. What amazes me, however, is not the number of toys (after all, we have four kids), but the fact that we don’t lose more of them.

There are games we’ve had for years, for which we still have all the pieces. In addition, we still have toys that the kids played with years ago. I’m not referring to the toys we’ve stored in the attic for some as-yet-unknown purpose. I’m talking about the toys that have managed to escape the toy rotation and stay in the kids’ rooms because they are beloved and oft-played-with.

Sometimes, however, a beloved toy can’t be found.

That happened to Kenny the other day. He has a small toy which he alternately calls a spaceship or an airplane. He loves this toy because it has a light he can turn on and off. He swoops it through the air, making it fly fast and high. He really loves this tiny little piece of plastic. And one day, he couldn’t find it.

I was sitting at the table working on something. I knew that Kenny had lost his toy, and I knew he was looking for it. Because I wanted him to try to solve his own problem, I let him look on his own. I heard him saying things as he looked, like, “Nope, it’s not in there.” His voice got sadder and sadder. When he had almost lost hope, Kenny came and stood beside me.

“Will you please look for my spaceship, the airplane?” he asked sadly. “He’s a really good flyer.”

I felt the poignancy of his request deep in my soul. You see, Kenny wasn’t merely asking for my help. He was pointing out the virtues of his airplane in the hope that knowing its worth would move my heart to find it.

Kenny was being an advocate for that airplane.

You and I also have an advocate for our needs. And we have one who loves us far more even than Kenny loves his airplane.

Friend, our advocate is Jesus.

Dictionary.com defines an “advocate” as “a person who pleads for or in behalf of another; intercessor”. This is exactly what Jesus does for us. The Lord of all Creation intercedes with God the Father on our behalf. He pleads for us, and for our needs.

Don’t miss the awesome wondrousness of that reality. Not only can you yourself confidently approach your father, but His perfect Son Jesus is already there, advocating for you. I imagine Him saying something like this: “Father, she needs you. Please, meet her need. She’s your beloved child.”

Put your name into the words above. Then savor this truth. Let it sink deep into your heart and mind and soul.

But even more incredible than this amazing truth is the truth that God’s heart is moved by our need.

He’s not some distant deity who rules from on high without being touched by the fray below. No, our God is a personal God, an immediate and intimate God. He cares about us and our needs.

Over and over, the Bible shows God responding emotionally to his people’s needs. Granted, His emotions aren’t the same as ours. They are completely pure and always righteous. But He has granted us a relationship with Him such that our needs touch His heart.

No other follower of any other god dares claim that his or her god cares personally about human needs.

You and I do dare to claim this, because God the Father Himself proclaims it over and over throughout Scripture!

God the Son always lives to advocate for us, bringing our needs to God the Father, because He loves the fragile beings He created and died for.

God the Holy Spirit advocates for us with groans that words cannot express.

Imagine it. God cares deeply and passionately about us and our needs.

I can think of no more profound truth than that.

Praise God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, that this is true.

To Him be glory, both now, and forevermore. Amen.

Hebrews 7:25—Therefore he (Jesus) is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.

Romans 8:26—In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

Job 16:19—Even now my witness is in heaven; my advocate is on high.

1 Peter 5:7—Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

2 Peter 3:18—To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Special Needs

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

On Thursdays, I take my son, Kenny, to speech therapy. We park along the curb in front of the school, and Kenny and I “race” to see who gets to the school doors first. (He always wins.) Kenny knows the routine: I sign in at the office and put on a “Visitor” sticker, and we go around the corner and down the hall to the speech therapist’s office. Kenny loves his teacher and the other students in his small group. He enjoys the activities they do together, and he looks forward to getting prizes for good attendance.

He also likes getting to check out books from the school library after therapy. He has this privilege because he is enrolled as a student in the district, even though he is only four years old. Because he is officially a student, he has all the rights and privileges of students in the Fort Worth ISD, despite taking only one “class”.

Kenny is not classified as a “regular” student, however. He is classified as being in the special education program. In other words, he is a “special needs” student.

“Special needs” is not a label that any mother hopes her child will grow up to earn. I was no different. I didn’t want Kenny to struggle with any difficulties that would cause him pain. I didn’t want other kids to treat him differently because of his God-given needs.

I knew that this label represented a truth that would cause Kenny to have to work harder than other kids to achieve the same milestones and acceptance. Even now, I am still afraid sometimes that people will look at Kenny and see his difficulties, instead of seeing the wonderful child that he is.

But actually, Kenny is not the only one in our family who has special needs. He’s not the only one who has to work harder in some areas. Our other three children have special needs, too. So do my husband and I.

So do your children.

So do you.

You see, dear mommy friend, we are all special needs students when it comes to the spiritual aspects of life. Oh, our bodies and minds may be physically healthy, but spiritually speaking, we all have special needs.

In fact, each one of us possesses a soul with one extremely special need—the need to be redeemed by the grace of God. Once that occurs, we sometimes assume that everything will fall into place.

It doesn’t always—or even usually—happen that way.

No matter how “together” someone may look on the outside, even she has special needs. No matter how self-sufficient we may want to be, we can never be need-free.

Perhaps God has allowed these seeds of suffering and struggle into our lives so that we will remember that we need Him, and so that we’ll depend on Him instead of on our own strength.

Kenny has to depend on others to help him succeed in areas that are more difficult for him. You and I need to depend on God for the same thing.

If we are to depend on Him, we must spend time with him. Kenny’s needs provide a reason and an avenue for the two of us to work closely together and spend time together that we might not otherwise get to have to ourselves. So, though I would wish his needs to disappear if I could, I recognize their beauty not only in shaping his character but in shaping our life together.

How do you see your special needs? Are they merely an unfortunate or even tragic burden, or do you also see in them the opportunity to draw closer to God in a way that you otherwise might not?

Ask God to help you see your needs as He sees them. You may come to realize that even though your needs themselves are not beautiful, they can be part of God’s beautiful design for your life.

2 Corinthians 12:10—That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Empty Arms

Megan Breedlove 2Comments

Maybe the news came in a phone call. The telephone rang, and the sound of it was the sound of your life shattering.

Maybe a doctor told you as you sat across the desk from him, with words that couldn’t sink in because you’d gone numb.

Maybe you were there as your child took her last breath.

Whatever the circumstances, your life will never be the same.

There’s nothing more agonizing than losing a child. Nothing cuts deeper or produces longer-lasting pain. Nothing shatters your soul into such tiny fragments that you’re certain you can never be put back together quite the same. You wonder if you can be put back together at all.

You grieve on the anniversary of your child’s death, on what would have been your due date, on your child’s birthday, and at Christmas. You remember the times spent together as a family, a family that will never be complete again.

The times in your life that should bring joy now bring pain.

Mother’s Day is especially painful because everything about it reminds you that your child is gone. The pastor delivers a sermon focusing on mothers. You go to the store for a gallon of milk and pass displays of floral arrangements and cards. You open the newspaper, and out falls a jewelry store circular advertising “gifts to make her day special.”

Even if you have other children who present you with stick figure pictures of yourself and clay handprints, you find yourself trying to remember how your other child’s hand felt in yours.

Precious friend, as you grieve, there is something God wants you to know: your grief touches His heart. He grieves with you.

In the Gospel of John, chapter 11, Jesus arrived in Bethany to hear that His dear friend Lazarus had died. First one of Lazarus’ sisters, then the other, came running to Jesus to blame Him for what happened. “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died!”

Our hearts are tormented with the same question. Lord, You could have stopped it. Why didn’t You?

Jesus didn’t directly address the sisters’ cry of anguish. But watch and listen to the answer He did give, for it is the same answer He gives you.

When Jesus saw everyone weeping, He was deeply moved. The Greek words indicate that He was “terribly upset”. You see, He cared about the sisters, their grief, and Lazarus’ death.

“Where have you put him?” Jesus asked, and they answered, “Lord, come and see.”

Upon hearing this, Jesus began to wail loudly. He must have, for in the Jewish culture of Jesus’ day, you grieved openly to show how much you loved the person who died. Even in a culture that was used to weeping and wailing, the other mourners thought Jesus’ grief remarkable in its intensity and talked about how much Jesus must have loved Lazarus.

What does that mean for us, two thousand years later?

It means we can know that when Jesus sees our grief, He is deeply moved. When your child died, He wailed with you.

Never think that because God doesn’t prevent death from happening, He doesn’t care. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, He cared so much about what death does to us that He sent His Son Jesus to gain the victory over it, not just for Himself, but for the whole world.

This victory has incredible implications for us. One day, no mother will ever again grieve the loss of her precious child. No mother will ever again feel the soul-deep, physical ache of empty arms that long to be filled with her baby. Death will finally be destroyed, and there will be no more mourning or crying or pain. God Himself will wipe every tear from your eyes, and your grief will be over.

Oh, friend, can you imagine that day? My soul longs for it, and I know yours does, too.

Until then, when it seems as if the tears will never end, remember that Jesus cries with you. When you don’t know how you can rise to meet one more day, remember that He grieves with you. And remember that though He may require you to walk through agony on this earth, He has promised that one day, your grief will cease as you triumph with Him over that ultimate enemy.

One day, you will rejoice again.

1 Corinthians 15:26—The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

1 Corinthians 15:55—Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?

Revelation 21:4—He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

Empty Arms

~~ Special thanks to author Renae Brumbaugh for her gracious assistance with editing this devotional ~~

Climbing

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

My kids love any toy they can jump on—bounce houses, trampolines, or that all-time favorite, Mommy and Daddy’s bed. Now and then, they get invited to parties at jumping places. These are places where there are several large inflatables the kids can climb on, jump on, and have a great time on.

I remember one of these parties in particular. It was at a place called Pump It Up. I had brought Ellie, Kenny, and Lindsey. Kenny was almost four at the time. He had improved greatly in some of the things he was able to do physically, and he was beginning to be comfortable attempting more things.

One of the toys at this party was a large slide. You would climb up one side by holding onto and stepping on small inflatable rectangles, and then you could slide down the other side. Kenny decided that he wanted to go up that slide. I mean, he really wanted to go up the slide.

I was so proud of him for attempting it, because it showed how far he’d come not only physically, but in courage. I wasn’t sure if he could do it, though.

Kenny climbed up onto the platform, crawled through a short tunnel, then approached the climbing part of the slide. He awkwardly tried to figure out how to go on up. I could tell that he understood what he was supposed to do, but that he wasn’t secure about his body’s ability to perform the skill quite yet.

I wound up following him upwards, climbing just far enough behind him that he could make the attempt on his own but also that if he fell, I could catch him. It wasn’t coming easily to him, but Kenny kept trying, and I admired his perseverance.

Then, it happened.

As he was trying to move himself upward, Kenny partially lost his grip, and he wound up still holding onto a couple rectangles, but unevenly, one of his hands on a rectangle further down than the other, one foot dangling.

Oh, no, I thought. Would he get upset? Would he give up?

Both of these were good possibilities, as Kenny got upset easily when he felt overwhelmed by a physical challenge. But I had only a brief instant to wonder what he was going to do before he acted. He readjusted his grip and kept going.

Kenny reached the top and slid down the other slide. Having experienced success, he climbed up and slid down again several more times. Each time, he climbed bravely. Sometimes, he started to fall, as we both knew he would, but each time, he kept going. Later, he was able to make the climb by himself.

Kenny’s attitude that day was a beautiful picture of what our attitudes should be toward surmounting the obstacles in our lives. He was willing to attempt anything, even to the extent of falling, if he knew I was behind him. How much more, then, should we be willing to face anything God causes or allows into our path with the same courage, knowing that even if we fall, our heavenly Father is right there behind us?

You see, we are all like Kenny in some way. We each have our own difficulties. Maybe yours, like his, are physical. Maybe they’re circumstantial. Maybe they’re similar to those of friends you know; maybe they’re like no one else’s. Whatever they are, you have yours, and I have mine.

The question is, what do we do about them? Do we allow them to keep us at the bottom of the slide, afraid to try because we’re sure—or at least pretty certain—we’ll fail? Or do we start climbing up the slide, knowing that even if we fall, God’s arms will be right there to catch us?

It takes courage to attempt something that is difficult for us. Nobody likes to fail, and sometimes, failure is a possibility. But courage comes a lot easier if you trust, not in your own ability to succeed, but in God’s ability either to help you succeed or to support you adequately if He allows failure.

If Kenny hadn’t tried the slide, he wouldn’t have experienced difficulty and near-failure several times. Nor would he have experienced the thrill of success.

If we don’t attempt difficult things in our lives, we won’t experience failing in the attempt. But we also won’t experience being used mightily of God in those things. And those people we might have been used mightily to touch won’t experience the benefits of our having made ourselves available to God.

I don’t know what the obstacle is that you have to climb. I don’t know whether it looks like the gentle slope in my front yard or like Mount Everest. I don’t know whether you would reach the top if you started to climb. But I do know that God can use you no matter how far up the side of the mountain you get.

Precious mommy, is there a mountain in your life that God wants you to start climbing? Are you uncertain you can do it?

Start climbing anyway. Trust God either to enable you to succeed, or to catch you when you fall. And know that as long as you give it your best and fullest effort, He is pleased with the attempt.

Psalm 55:22—Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

Isaiah 46:4—Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Leave it Alone

Megan Breedlove 0Comment

When supper was almost ready, I called the kids to the table. As my husband and I were putting the finishing touches on the meal in the kitchen, I heard Ellie playing with something I had already set out. I don’t remember what it was anymore; I just remember hearing the noise and realizing she shouldn’t be playing with it.

“Ellie, don’t play with that,” I said.

She stopped, and I went back to my supper preparations.

Moments later, I heard the same sound. This time, I knew it wasn’t Ellie playing, because I heard her saying, “Kenny, Mommy said not to play with that.”

That might have been helpful, were it not for her tone of voice, which was rather snooty.

“Kenny, leave it alone!” Ellie commanded in the same superior tone.

I turned to my husband, who was in the kitchen with me, and said, “She doesn’t care if Kenny’s obeying me. She just doesn’t want him to be able to touch it because she wasn’t allowed to mess with it.”

We often feel the same way, don’t we?

Our demand for someone to change his or her actions is motivated not by a desire to see that person experience the spiritual benefits of living in conformity to God’s holy will, but by the idea that “if I can’t do that, I don’t want that person to be able to do it, either.” We are more grieved at the possibility that someone else might be able to enjoy something we are not permitted than at the certainty that the person is not right in his or her relationship with God.

I’ll use myself for an example.

One temptation I deal with on a fairly consistent basis is the temptation to speed when I drive. I know that I shouldn’t because God has commanded me to obey the laws of the government, but sometimes, I really wish that I didn’t have to obey those laws. Despite my desire to make my own determination as to how fast I will go, I watch my speed carefully because I know it is the right thing to do.

When someone speeds past me on the highway doing about ninety-five miles per hour, however, the true desires of my heart are revealed. How? In my annoyance at the speeder.

At those times, I’m not thinking, “That person is breaking God’s law, and I am concerned at the fact that he is damaging his relationship with God by sinning.” No, I’m thinking, “That person is breaking God’s law, and if I have to obey it, he should, too.”

Sounds kind of like the older brother in the story of the prodigal son, doesn’t it?

When the prodigal son returned, the older brother was angry at his father for throwing a party. His reaction, if I may paraphrase it, was, “I’ve spent all these years being a dutiful, obedient son; my brother spent years openly doing what he knew he shouldn’t be doing; and he is the one who gets a party?”

The older brother wasn’t concerned about whether or not the younger brother was obeying God’s law and their father’s wishes. He was infuriated at the thought that the younger brother was “getting away with” something.

Friend, what are your motives for wanting someone to obey?

Is your desire to see them walk in closer relationship to God? Or is it because you believe that if you have to toe the line, they should, too?

The first motivation is the one God wants us to have. It arises out of love for others.

The second motivation is the one Satan tempts us to have. It arises out of love for self.

If I truly love my brother, I will want him to obey for his own benefit.

It I love only myself, I will want my brother to obey for my benefit—so that I don’t have to be the only one enduring the discipline of obedience, or the only one “missing out”.

The next time you find yourself demanding that your brother—or sister—change his or her conduct, stop and ask yourself what your motives are. Better yet, ask God to reveal your motives to you. Are you truly concerned about your brother? Have you even thought about your sister’s welfare? Or do you merely want to make sure that someone else toes the line like you do?

Then, ask yourself what your motives are for obeying God. Do you obey out of a love relationship with Him, or do you obey out of a sterile sense of duty?

May God grant you and me the spiritual insight to know the answer, and the divine grace of an ever-deepening relationship with Him.

Psalm 119:167—I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly.

Deuteronomy 11:1—Love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always. [emphasis mine]

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