Growing in Fellowship
Megan Breedlove This devotion is part of a series of devotions on how to grow in your walk with God. If you have not already done so, you may find it helpful to read the introductory devotion, Growing in God: Mommy Edition.
For a few years, I belonged to a small Hispanic church, where I served as youth minister. Though the youth activities were in English, the other services were in Spanish. That was fine with me, since I’m fluent in Spanish. I loved being a member there. I got to live and move in a different culture, and even better than that, I had the privilege of being part of this particular body of believers, who loved and supported each other.
One of my favorite church activities was when we would have a compañerismo—a “fellowship”. This was usually a time after the Sunday morning service where we all gathered for a potluck meal. Of course, we had compañerismos every time something special came up, such as the pastor’s birthday or someone’s graduation. One of the ladies of the church would come around and hand each woman a little white slip of paper with what we were supposed to bring written on it. I always got assigned pan e hielo, or “bread and ice”. (Yes, I could speak fluent Spanish, but we all knew I couldn’t cook Hispanic food like they could, so I guess “bread and ice” was the safest thing to assign me.) If it had been awhile since there had been an occasion for a compañerismo, we’d plan one just for the fun of it.
Those kinds of get-togethers are great. In fact, church members ought to fellowship with one another on a regular basis. But meals and bounce houses and parties, or whatever other activity a church may plan, are not the only kinds of fellowship Christians need. If they are the only kinds, we’re missing the point of what fellowship is really all about.
True Christian fellowship involves more than just pursuing a particular activity together. The deepest kind of fellowship involves knowing and being intimately known by each other, standing with each other in times of trial, and encouraging or even rebuking each other when necessary. It’s “iron sharpening iron”. Two pieces of iron might lie side by side and get along fine, but unless they sharpen and are sharpened by each other, they’ll never become what they were meant to be.
What does “iron sharpening iron” look like? What’s involved if we want to have this deepest kind of fellowship?
First, there’s vulnerability. We need to be part of a group of people we can be vulnerable in front of, and who will be vulnerable to us. All of us have been in groups where the prayer requests were always on behalf of “my boss’s friend’s mom’s aunt”; never would anyone say, “This request is for me. I’m struggling, and here’s how.” Certainly it’s not wrong to pray for other people we know, but if we’re unable to be transparent with each other, something is wrong. We need to be part of a group where we can confess our sins and find not condemnation, but support and godly encouragement as we repent and move forward. And we need to be that same resource for others.
Second, there’s regular attendance. It’s not a matter of keeping score or checking all the right boxes. It’s a matter of being there. If we’re not at church (whether that means meeting in the church building or meeting with a small group) on a regular basis, we’re not going to be of much use in building anyone up, and we won’t be built up, either. If we miss out on fellowship occasionally because of a valid excuse, such as having a sick child or being out of town, that’s one thing. But if we don’t make Christian fellowship a priority, Satan has plenty of influences ready to step into our lives and fill the vacuum that should be filled by fellowship with believers.
Third, and most important, there’s love for one another. This kind of love doesn’t merely love when we look our best on Sunday mornings or even when we act right. It loves under any circumstances, and forever. It’s love that results in action, that says “I’ll stand by you no matter what” or “If you have a need, I’m there”. It’s always ready to encourage, and it’s even ready to rebuke when necessary. It seeks to help build the loved one up into the image of Christ, whatever that takes. It looks at what it can do for others, not what others can do for it. This kind of love is so amazingly incredible that it is the proof that we follow Jesus (see John 13:34-35). It draws people to it by its very existence in a way that nothing else can. It’s what frees us to be vulnerable with each other and encourages us to keep going when we don’t think we can go on any longer. Most important, it’s what Jesus commanded us to do.
Are you part of a group like this? A group that loves each other deeply, sees or talks with each other regularly, and is free to be vulnerable to each other? A group that serves together and grows together, that loves and encourages one another, that stands by each other no matter what, no matter when?
If not, you need a group like this. You need others to help you become all God wants you to be, and you need to help them, too. If you don’t know where to find this kind of fellowship, go before the Lord and ask Him to show you. He may direct you to an option you haven’t thought about. He might show you some things you need to correct before you can experience—and offer—this kind of fellowship. But He will do it, because He knows you need it. After all, He made all of us, and He knows we need each other. You need others. And they need you.
Proverbs 27:17—As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.