Growing in Fellowship

Megan Breedlove March 28, 2011 0 Comments

This devotion is part of a series of devotions on how to grow in your walk with God. If you have not already done so, you may find it helpful to read the introductory devotion, Growing in God: Mommy Edition.

For a few years, I belonged to a small Hispanic church, where I served as youth minister. Though the youth activities were in English, the other services were in Spanish. That was fine with me, since I’m fluent in Spanish. I loved being a member there. I got to live and move in a different culture, and even better than that, I had the privilege of being part of this particular body of believers, who loved and supported each other.

One of my favorite church activities was when we would have a compañerismo—a “fellowship”. This was usually a time after the Sunday morning service where we all gathered for a potluck meal. Of course, we had compañerismos every time something special came up, such as the pastor’s birthday or someone’s graduation. One of the ladies of the church would come around and hand each woman a little white slip of paper with what we were supposed to bring written on it. I always got assigned pan e hielo, or “bread and ice”. (Yes, I could speak fluent Spanish, but we all knew I couldn’t cook Hispanic food like they could, so I guess “bread and ice” was the safest thing to assign me.) If it had been awhile since there had been an occasion for a compañerismo, we’d plan one just for the fun of it.

Those kinds of get-togethers are great. In fact, church members ought to fellowship with one another on a regular basis. But meals and bounce houses and parties, or whatever other activity a church may plan, are not the only kinds of fellowship Christians need. If they are the only kinds, we’re missing the point of what fellowship is really all about.

True Christian fellowship involves more than just pursuing a particular activity together. The deepest kind of fellowship involves knowing and being intimately known by each other, standing with each other in times of trial, and encouraging or even rebuking each other when necessary. It’s “iron sharpening iron”. Two pieces of iron might lie side by side and get along fine, but unless they sharpen and are sharpened by each other, they’ll never become what they were meant to be.

What does “iron sharpening iron” look like? What’s involved if we want to have this deepest kind of fellowship?

First, there’s vulnerability. We need to be part of a group of people we can be vulnerable in front of, and who will be vulnerable to us. All of us have been in groups where the prayer requests were always on behalf of “my boss’s friend’s mom’s aunt”; never would anyone say, “This request is for me. I’m struggling, and here’s how.” Certainly it’s not wrong to pray for other people we know, but if we’re unable to be transparent with each other, something is wrong. We need to be part of a group where we can confess our sins and find not condemnation, but support and godly encouragement as we repent and move forward. And we need to be that same resource for others.

Second, there’s regular attendance. It’s not a matter of keeping score or checking all the right boxes. It’s a matter of being there. If we’re not at church (whether that means meeting in the church building or meeting with a small group) on a regular basis, we’re not going to be of much use in building anyone up, and we won’t be built up, either. If we miss out on fellowship occasionally because of a valid excuse, such as having a sick child or being out of town, that’s one thing. But if we don’t make Christian fellowship a priority, Satan has plenty of influences ready to step into our lives and fill the vacuum that should be filled by fellowship with believers.

Third, and most important, there’s love for one another. This kind of love doesn’t merely love when we look our best on Sunday mornings or even when we act right. It loves under any circumstances, and forever. It’s love that results in action, that says “I’ll stand by you no matter what” or “If you have a need, I’m there”. It’s always ready to encourage, and it’s even ready to rebuke when necessary. It seeks to help build the loved one up into the image of Christ, whatever that takes. It looks at what it can do for others, not what others can do for it. This kind of love is so amazingly incredible that it is the proof that we follow Jesus (see John 13:34-35). It draws people to it by its very existence in a way that nothing else can. It’s what frees us to be vulnerable with each other and encourages us to keep going when we don’t think we can go on any longer. Most important, it’s what Jesus commanded us to do.

Are you part of a group like this? A group that loves each other deeply, sees or talks with each other regularly, and is free to be vulnerable to each other? A group that serves together and grows together, that loves and encourages one another, that stands by each other no matter what, no matter when?

If not, you need a group like this. You need others to help you become all God wants you to be, and you need to help them, too. If you don’t know where to find this kind of fellowship, go before the Lord and ask Him to show you. He may direct you to an option you haven’t thought about. He might show you some things you need to correct before you can experience—and offer—this kind of fellowship. But He will do it, because He knows you need it. After all, He made all of us, and He knows we need each other. You need others. And they need you.

Proverbs 27:17—As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Growing in Fasting

Megan Breedlove March 21, 2011 0 Comments

This devotion is part of a series of devotions on how to grow in your walk with God. If you have not already done so, you may find it helpful to read the introductory devotion, Growing in God: Mommy Edition.

Fasting: purposefully going without a particular item for a certain period of time.

Every mom I know is used to doing without certain things: hot meals; sleep (!); time alone; time with her husband (without the kids present); extra disposable income; and the ability to take 4-hour car trips in four hours, instead of six or seven. But most of us don’t do without these things on purpose.

We may have planned to become pregnant or to adopt, but going without the things mentioned above is a byproduct of being a mom, not something we purposely set out to do as a goal in itself. Fasting, on the other hand, involves deliberately doing without something for a certain purpose.

Why would a mom want to do that? After all, we spend much of our lives denying ourselves in one way or another so that we can rear our children. Why would we want to add one more thing to the list of things we don’t get to enjoy?

There are at least four great reasons for fasting. First, denying ourselves something is great for our self-discipline. Society wants to teach us that we’re entitled to what we want. Deny ourselves? Suffer? You’ve got to be kidding, right? Wrong. Fasting reminds us that we don’t have to be at the mercy of our desires. We are more than bodies whose every whim must be satisfied. We can take control of ourselves and bring our bodies and minds into submission.

Another great reason to fast is that it makes more time for other things, such as focusing on God through prayer, meditation, song, or any other way He prompts our spirit. We can use the time we would have spent pursuing the food or activity to connect with God instead. As moms, we often don’t have all the time we’d like to spend with Him. One great way to carve more time out of our day is to fast from something.

Third, fasting reminds us to focus on God. Not only do we have more time to do so, but we’re reminded to do so every time we find ourselves desiring the food or activity we’re fasting from. If you’re like me, it’s easy to go through the day and forget, in the midst of my busyness, to stop and connect with my Father. But if I’m fasting from something, every time I think about it and realize I can’t have it, I’ll be reminded to think about God instead.

Fourth, fasting is a marvelous way to show God that pursuing Him is more important to us even than whatever we’re fasting from. In the case of food, it’s a way to acknowledge that we realize that spiritual food for our souls is even more important than physical food for our bodies. When we’re fasting from an activity, we show Him that connecting with Him is far more important than entertaining ourselves, or than connecting with other people.

What, then, should we fast from? Often, people fast from food. They can then use the time they would have spent eating to bow before God in prayer instead. Their hunger pangs or cravings remind them to keep their focus on God throughout the period of fasting. If you are pregnant or nursing, however, or if you have certain medical conditions, fasting is probably not a good idea for you. Make certain that if you choose to fast from food, your doctor agrees that it is safe for you to do so. Tell him or her exactly what foods you plan not to eat and what the length of your fast will be. Then abide by your doctor’s recommendation.

If you cannot fast from food, or even a particular food, you can fast from a favorite activity. Perhaps you could fast from reading, watching TV, or using Facebook. How much time might you have to connect with God if one of those things was eliminated from your life for a period of time? And which would be more valuable anyway: spending two hours on the internet, or spending time with God?

I can’t tell you exactly what you should fast from. If you go before God in prayer and ask Him, however, He’ll tell you. He may direct you to fast from food, an activity, or something completely unexpected. Whatever it is, the lack of it allow you to spend more time connecting with Him, and that will be far more valuable than whatever you’re giving up.

I’ve heard more talk about fasting lately, but fasting actually isn’t a new idea. In fact, it had been around for long enough that Jesus knew His followers understood what it was and the purpose behind it, and assumed that they would fast as a part of their spiritual lives. So if Jesus thought fasting was a good idea, we should too.

Are you willing to go before God and ask Him what you should abstain from, and for how long? Do you desire a more intimate connection with Him enough that you’re willing to fast, perhaps even regularly? I’ll admit that I don’t fast very often. I just don’t think about it, unless, like now, it’s the Lenten season, or unless there is some extremely important decision my husband and I have to make. But if Jesus assumed I would fast regularly, I’m going to trust His judgment that fasting would be good for me. Not just when I want an answer about something. Not just when I’m “supposed” to fast at a particular time of year. But regularly. Will you trust His judgment too?

Matthew 6:16—when you fast…. (italics mine)

Matthew 6:17—but you, fasting,…. (italics mine)

Growing in Giving

Megan Breedlove March 14, 2011 0 Comments

This devotion is part of a series of devotions on how to grow in your walk with God. If you have not already done so, you may find it helpful to read the introductory devotion, Growing in God: Mommy Edition.

At first glance, this might not seem like a topic in which moms need instruction. We spend our lives giving—anytime, anywhere, with or without advance notice. What more could we possibly need to learn?

Fear not! I’m not going to tell us to give more. I’m not going to place yet another burden on our overworked backs. Instead, I’ll help us look at what the Bible says about giving, which will actually lighten the load of the giving we have to do and turn our giving from drudgery into worship.

Sometimes I get worn out from giving. Burned out. Stressed out. Sometimes resentful. When that happens, it’s a sure sign not that my kids need me too much, but that I haven’t been giving properly. I may have been giving “enough”—but not “properly”. Let me explain.

As human beings, we like to get acknowledged for what we do. We like to be noticed, appreciated, and even thanked. Most businesses understand this, so they develop ways to show their employees the desired affirmation. But notice here that it’s not necessarily the clients or customers who express appreciation; it’s usually the bosses who deem an employee’s performance exemplary and worth of gratitude.

This is how being a mom works, too. We don’t often get thanks from our “customers” either, unless it’s an obligatory “thank you” when we remind them they forgot to say it. But our “boss”—God Himself!—is constantly offering encouragement, thanks, and praise. He’s told us over and over in Scripture how much He loves us and values us. He’s promised that He will help us with whatever we need. He’s even guaranteed us that our work is NOT in vain! He’s made Himself available 24/7 whenever we want to talk to Him, and He doesn’t mind that it might be in the midst of making supper or cleaning the oven. He’s told us He delights in us. He’s even said that He is—get this—pleased with our sacrifices.

If we keep giving to our children only, we’re going to have to settle for only intermittent satisfaction. But if we give to the Lord, it won’t matter so much that our children don’t fulfill us. Because the Lord Himself will do so—in fact, desires to do so—and He can do a far better job than our kids can.

We need to practice giving to the Lord and expecting to receive our praise from Him, not from human beings. Which brings me to the second point: growing in giving also means offering our giving to God as an act of worship. We are to do our work for Him and expect to receive praise from Him, but not as some kind of business transaction. We should offer our service to Him as an act of worship. Worshipping God means offering what we are and what we have to Him. If right now, what we are is tired and what we have is dirty dishes, then wearily scrubbing caked-on oatmeal can be an act of worship if we do it with a right heart.

Jesus told us clearly that whatever we do for “the least of these” (our children included), we do to Him. In other words, whether or not we offer our service as worship, Jesus takes it personally. So we have the choice of either offering Him a fragrant, sweet-smelling aroma, or a stench in His nostrils. What will we choose?

Precious mom, I know it’s hard to have a good attitude some days. Really hard. But we can choose our attitude. We can either focus on all the things that have gone wrong and slam the dishes grumpily into the sink, or we can make a decision of our hearts and minds that even though the day’s been awful, we will still offer our service as worship. We don’t have to have the attitude that seems logical according to our circumstances. We have a choice. We can choose to do our work in a worshipful manner (sometimes even despite the circumstances), or we can choose to react with bitterness and resentment and offer God grudging, unwilling service. Hard sometimes, I know. But we can choose.

I wonder what a difference it would make in our homes if we truly grew in giving, doing our work as unto the Lord and offering Him our service as worship. How might it change our children to see their mother giving first of all to the Lord? What blessed changes would there be in our hearts and minds as God’s Spirit brought growth to our spirit?

I bet the spiritual blessings would be above and beyond anything we can imagine.

1 Corinthians 15:58—Therefore, my dear [sisters], stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Hebrews 13:16—And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

Colossians 3:23-24—Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.

Matthew 25:40—And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

Growing in Silence

Megan Breedlove March 7, 2011 0 Comments

This devotion is part of a series of devotions on how to grow in your walk with God. If you have not already done so, you may find it helpful to read the introductory devotion, Growing in God: Mommy Edition.

Our house can get pretty loud and crazy at times. I bet yours can too. Whether the noise comes from your baby screaming; your kids chasing each other through the house while they’re supposed to be getting ready for bed; or any of the myriad toys and games they have that all make noise, life with kids is sometimes loud. Very loud.

On first hearing the idea of “silence” as a spiritual discipline, you may very well be tempted to roll your eyes and say, “Wouldn’t that be nice.” It would, indeed. And it’s not only nice, but possible. Maybe not as much silence as we’d like, and maybe not even at the times we’d like. But if we desire to make silence a part of our spiritual disciplines, there are ways to make it happen.

Before we talk about those ways, let’s answer the question “Why silence? What’s the point?”

The point of silence as a spiritual discipline is to hear God speak. When we are constantly talking, listening to the radio, or watching TV, God doesn’t have room to get a word in edgewise. Sure, He could raise His voice and drown out all the other voices we’re listening to. He could even do something more spectacular, like a burning bush. But why in the world would we want to so clog up our ears with all the other things we’re listening to that God has to do something drastic just for us to hear Him?

I guarantee you…we don’t. Because if our lives are so busy and so loud that God has to shout to get our attention, that’s a situation we don’t want to be in.

Fortunately, silence can occur almost anywhere and at almost any time. It’s not limited to a particular hour or location. But we do have to carve out time for it if we want to experience it, lest the voices of this world (including our own voice!) rush in to fill the empty spaces. In order for it to happen, all we have to do is tune out the other voices competing for our attention. I’d like to suggest three voices we can tune out if we want to focus on hearing God’s voice.

First, we can silence our own voice. Even if we’re not very talkative by nature, there’s a lot of talking we have to do in order to run a household. What if, instead of talking our way through the day, we tried to see how few words we could get by with? If all day won’t work, maybe a few minutes will work. Perhaps some days, instead of calling a friend, we could choose to be silent for a few minutes (or longer, if your conversations tend to run as long as mine). Maybe instead of chatting at the dinner table, we could choose to listen to our family talk instead, with an ear out toward hearing what God might say to us through their conversation. You can probably think of ways you can silence your voice that will work particularly well for you in your circumstances. You probably can’t get by with going 24 hours without talking. But even if it’s 5 minutes, that’s 5 minutes more than what you would have had otherwise.

Second, we can silence media voices. Most of us spend far more time listening to music or playing around on the computer (Facebook, anyone?) than we do being silent and listening for God’s voice. Instead of playing your favorite online game, why not take those minutes and listen for God? Why not turn the radio off on your daily commute and listen to God instead of a DJ? True, it’s hard to get away from media input. But we have far more control over how much media we allow into our lives than we think we do. Media are not necessarily bad in and of themselves. But anything that steals time that would be better spent with God should be eliminated or reduced.

Third, we can teach our children to keep their voices silent at times. I have four young children, and believe me, I know it’s hard for kids to be quiet. But even young children can be taught to be silent for a minute when Mommy tells them she is listening to God. The length of time they have to allow you to be silent can be gradually increased as they get older. Obviously, if they have a legitimate need, you would need to tend to them and have your time of silence later. But it’s also a need for children to see their mother honoring the Lord and seeking to hear His voice above all others.

Once you decide to make silence happen, and you actually follow through on achieving silence for a brief instant, your thoughts are probably going to wander. It’s hard to keep focused when you don’t hear anything going on. But you can train yourself to stay focused in silence for longer periods of time by practicing. I’m not nearly as good at this yet as I’d like to be; my thoughts wander easily. Fortunately, I have help—the same help available to you. God will help me train myself to be silent yet actively waiting on Him, and He’ll help you too.

He may not speak to us every time we wait silently before Him, but even so, that time is never wasted. It’s good training for future silence to come. In addition, it shows God that we’re serious about wanting to hear from Him—so serious we’re willing to eliminate even some of our favorite distractions. And it blesses His heart. After all, how would we feel if our children came to us and said, “Mommy, I’m just going to stay hear and be silent as long as I can, or until you speak. I don’t want to miss anything you have to say. Your voice is what I most want to hear”?

Let’s make God’s heart glad this week by showing Him how important He is to us. And in the sweet communion we’ll have together—or even just the delight of being in each other’s presence—our hearts will be glad, too.

Psalm 27:8—My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek.