February 2012

Seeing Potential

Megan Breedlove February 27, 2012 0Comment

Recently, I made a cake for my daughter Jessica’s 4th birthday. She wanted a Sesame Street cake like Lindsey had had two years ago when she turned four. The cake was fun and easy to make, so I gladly made another one and stacked the layers on top of each other. Then I got ready to frost it.

I hadn’t frozen the layers before frosting; nor had I planned to add a crumb coat, as I often do. I knew that most of the frosting would be covered by decorations anyway, so I simply began frosting the three layers—blue on bottom, then yellow, then red.

Because I hadn’t taken the time to do something about the crumbs from the cut edges of the layers, the frosting was looking…well, pretty “crumby” (crummy, too). And a portion of one of the layers tried to fall off, causing me to fight with it for a minute or two while I tried to glue it back onto the rest of the cake with frosting.

I was about to cry (being hormonal and 36 weeks pregnant didn’t help matters) when Jessica ran into the room to see how I was doing. I heard her intake of breath, then, “It’s beautiful!” Before I could respond, she ran off to find her siblings, saying, “Come look at my beautiful cake!”

Hmph, I thought, shrugging and looking at the cake again. If she thinks it’s beautiful, it must not be that bad.

I guess whether or not a cake is beautiful all depends on what you are looking for in a cake. If you’re looking at the cake as it is, it may or may not be beautiful at the moment. But if what you see is what your cake is on the way to being—in other words, the finished product—then it probably does look beautiful. Jessica saw her cake was beautiful because it was tall and colorful, and because she knew it would turn out to be exactly what she wanted. That was enough for her.

Too bad it’s not enough for us sometimes when we look at ourselves. As women and as moms, it’s particularly easy for us to look at ourselves and see nothing but the imperfections. We know what we’d like ourselves to be, but we don’t trust the Maker that that’s possible.

What if we saw ourselves the way God sees us? What if we trusted Him to make perfect beauty from what looks imperfect now?

God knows that even though we’re not there yet, we’re at least on the way to being what He wants us to be. He sees the finished product He’s in the process of bringing to completion, not the imperfect intermediate one. He sees the beauty of the work He’s put into us, not the blemishes of the ways we’ve messed up. Sure, He knows we’re not perfect—but He also knows that one day, we will be, because of what He’s done in us.

One day we will be sinless. One day we will get things right—all the time. One day, we’ll be what we’ve always dreamed of being—glorified and beautiful, though physical beauty won’t hold the same importance for us anymore.

If only we could begin seeing ourselves differently right now—on the way to becoming, rather than messed up or imperfect. I wonder how we might treat ourselves differently as well as those around us. You see, they’re in the process of becoming, too. Maybe if we realized that we’re all still in process, we’d be able to give ourselves and others a little more grace. Maybe even a lot more. And maybe instead of reacting negatively to our imperfections, we could rejoice at God’s creative work in us as He gradually shapes us into the perfection He has is mind for us to be one day.

The crumby cake is not what we ultimately are. It’s not our final identity. It’s merely a stage on the way to becoming the beautiful cake God envisions—and it may even be beautiful at the moment. And just like God did for me that day, He may sometimes send us a little reminder—maybe even in the form of a delighted four-year-old excited about even the in-between stages.

1 John 3:2—Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

Giving Birth

Megan Breedlove February 20, 2012 0Comment

Today, about 8:15 a.m. (give or take), I will give birth to our fifth child, a son. How can I pinpoint the time so accurately? I’m having a planned C-section. So unless Baby Timothy decides to make an appearance early (which I wouldn’t mind at all), I know the date and time when he will be born.

At the appointed hour, he will be lifted from my womb into the world, and I will get to meet him and rejoice in his presence. Over the last several months, my anticipation has built until now, I can hardly wait.

As I thought recently about how much I look forward to his arrival, I realized that God knows how I feel. Not just because He knows me intimately and can see everything about my emotions, but because He has given birth too—millions of times.

Obviously God does not have a female, physical body as I do. But He has indeed given life to a vast number of children, bringing them into the world at the appointed day and time. Just as He has determined when my son will be born, He also determined when all of His sons and daughters would be born.

I’m speaking, of course, about all those whom He has made His children through their faith in His Son. Each of us Christians was “born” at just the right time, which God had planned beforehand. But there is an important difference between my son’s birth and the birth of God’s children. My son is currently alive. When he is born, he will still be alive, but now outside my body. The difference is that before we were born into God’s spiritual family, we were dead. Not just alive somewhere else, but dead. Yet God, in His grace and mercy, brought us to life and transferred us from the kingdom of death into the kingdom of His Son, making us His children.

Unlike me, God has the power to transfer someone not only from inside a body to outside, but from death to life. So as excited as I am about my son’s birth, how much more thrilled must God be about His children’s births? All the time I have spent preparing for and anticipating my son’s arrival is nothing compared to what God did in preparation for my arrival, or yours. I’ve set up a nursery for my son; God is even now preparing an eternal home in heaven for His children. I bought some clothes made mostly out of cotton; God readied clothing of righteousness. I bought a small bathtub; God provided His Word and the blood of Jesus for cleansing His children. And although people usually don’t have baby showers for fifth babies (though I am being blessed with one this time), God always celebrates the arrival of His children.

The Bible tells us that there is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents. “Joy” doesn’t mean just a little bit of happiness, as if God were saying, “That’s nice.” Joy means a huge, heavenly celebration over what God has done and over a new child born into God’s family—a celebration that’s far beyond even the most elaborate earthly baby shower.

So as I make final preparations for Timmy’s arrival; as I arrive at the hospital and give birth; and as I receive congratulations from family and friends for my beautiful son, I will remember.

I’ll remember God’s marvelous work at granting life to so many children, and I’ll praise Him.

I’ll meditate on how, though I love my son with all my heart, God loves His children even more, and I’ll thank Him.

I’ll experience joy over my son’s birth and remember that there was a heavenly party at my spiritual birth, and I’ll worship.

Will you think about these things too, in relation to you and your children? Will you spend time contemplating God’s majesty and goodness and let those qualities move you to adoring Him?

You see, as much as I love my children and you love yours, God loves us even more. Perhaps that is most incredible of all—that He loves us. Think about His love. Ask Him to help you grasp even the tiniest corner of it, and let it move you to profound gratitude and love for Him in return.

Ephesians 2:1, 4-6—And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked….But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

Luke 15:7—Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

1 John 3:1—See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

Imitating Jesus

Megan Breedlove February 13, 2012 0Comment

Last week, we talked about the need to imitate Jesus in order to provide the best example for our children. I promised that this week, I would share some meaningful ways we can do that, and I will. But first, I want to remind us all (including me) of something very important as we begin to study the topic of imitating Jesus: we can’t succeed in our own strength.

Most of us, upon realizing that we need to represent Jesus to our children, will have one of two reactions. Either we’ll see success as so impossible that we won’t even bother to try, or we’ll have the opposite reaction and determine just to try harder. Neither one of these perspectives is fully correct. The first group is right that we can’t do this on our own, but that doesn’t excuse us from putting forth our best effort. The second group is right that we do indeed need to put forth our best effort, but even that won’t be enough.

So we can’t succeed on our own, and our best efforts won’t be good enough. Now what?

Now, we rely on God for the strength, wisdom, and endurance to do what He’s called us to do. In our own strength, success is impossible. In God’s strength, success is inevitable.

So as you read about these areas where your example can make an incredible difference to your children, remember that God’s power is available to make it happen, and it’s the only way to make it happen. You have to ask Him for His help—preferably on a regular basis—but you can be sure of getting it.

The first way we can imitate Christ in a way that will really matter to our children is by loving as Jesus loved. Jesus loved children, and they knew it. They were drawn to Him. They wanted to hang out with Him. Why? Because they knew He cared about them. Do your children know you care? How do they know? What would they say if you asked them whether they know Mommy loves them deeply?

We must show love to our children, or not much else that we say or do will matter. We need to make sure we demonstrate our love in a way our children can receive. Some children love to hear the words “I love you”, and those words make them feel especially loved. (All children need to hear these words, but for some, spoken words have a special meaning.) Some children love to receive little gifts. Some want to spend time with you or cuddle with you. Some feel loved when you do things for them. (See Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages of Children for more information on this topic.) It’s best if you can show love to your child in all these ways at times. But it’s especially vital to your little one’s heart that you communicate love in his or her “love language”. Don’t assume that it must be obvious to your children that you love them. Let it become obvious because they keep seeing your love expressed over and over in a way they can understand.

Second, we can treat our children’s spirits tenderly even when we are angry at them. Little children aren’t made to withstand adult blasts of anger on a regular basis. True, kids are resilient, but after awhile, corrosive anger begins to eat at their spirit. If your children are terrified of you lest you get angry, never knowing when the other shoe is going to drop, this will create scars on your love relationship with them.

That’s not to say that occasional slip-ups will harm them for life. When you are too harsh with your anger now and then, a heartfelt apology will usually suffice to restore your relationship. But when harshness (whether by verbal aggression or the more passive sighs and silent treatment) is the rule rather than the exception, you’ll wound their little spirit. Ask Jesus to help you treat your children when you’re mad like you would want your parents to treat you when they’re angry (or like you wish they would have treated you). Your kids need to know that even when Mommy’s angry, she still loves them.

Third, be patient. When your children make mistakes; when they demonstrate childish inability or lack of skill; when they are needy on the same day you’re exhausted, be patient anyway. After all, God doesn’t immediately zap you the moment you make a mistake. He patiently leads you until you understand how to succeed. He cheers you on as you make progress. He builds you up and helps you to feel confident and capable.

What a blessing it would be to your children if you would do the same for them. Think about it: a child who grows up in this kind of environment will grow up to be confident and to believe he or she is capable of mastering life. That’s what I want for my children, and I know you want the same thing. So be patient with them. Your kids need to know it’s okay to be imperfect and that Mommy loves them anyway, whether or not they’re performing properly.

Fourth, be willing to serve. Even Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. Why should we expect any less for ourselves? Yet too often we resent the effort it takes to parent well. Our kids’ neediness annoys us. We want more free time for ourselves. We can’t wait for the kids to become more independent so we don’t have to do so much for them.

Our kids know it when we have that attitude. They’re well aware when Mommy is grumpy or crabby about having to serve them. What does that communicate to them? That they’re a bother. That they’re less important than we are. Maybe even that we don’t love them. But I guarantee you that we cause far more trouble for our Father than our kids cause for us. Yet He doesn’t grumble and complain when we need something from Him. In fact, He invites us to come boldly to Him and ask Him for what we need. What difference might it make if we were actually glad to serve our children? Well, they’d feel loved, for one thing. For another, they’d learn how to serve others with a good attitude. And perhaps most important, they’d realize what kind of attitude God has toward helping them, and they’d feel more free to come to Him.

That’s what parenting is ultimately all about, isn’t it? Teaching our children about God and representing Him in such a way that our children will want to come to Him. Think about it: if God is like you portray Him to be by your actions, will your children want to draw near to Him?

If you’re like me, sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it’s no. I wish it were yes all the time. But I can’t succeed on my own. I need to pray regularly and frequently for God to help me be the kind of example He wants me to be. So do you. Because our children not only learn to act like we act, but they also learn that God is an awful lot like what we are. Let’s portray an accurate picture of Him so that our kids will know who He is. If we do that, they’ll want to be around Him. And they’ll never want to leave that kind of love. That’s where we want them to be—resting securely in His arms. Forever.

1 Chronicles 16:11—Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!

John 13:15—“For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”

Mini Me

Megan Breedlove February 6, 2012 0Comment

At almost 6 years old, Lindsey has a “mini me” in just-turned-4yo Jessica. Recently, Jessica and Lindsey have become best buddies, spending almost all their time together playing and laughing. Whatever Lindsey wants is okay by Jessica, and Jessica often asks Lindsey what she thinks before adopting the opinion as her own.

Fortunately, Lindsey doesn’t mind. She seems to be as delighted with Jessica as Jessica is with her. Twenty-two months apart in age, they are close enough in interests and abilities to be fun playmates for each other.

But even more fortunate than the fact that Lindsey doesn’t mind Jessica’s attachment but instead welcomes it is the fact that Jessica has chosen a great example to pattern her life after. Lindsey is sweet, sensitive, caring, and well-behaved. She also loves God, a fact that’s obvious even at not-quite-six. If Jessica becomes like Lindsey, I will only be pleased.

The apostle Paul knew it was a good idea to have someone to pattern one’s life after. With his whole heart, he sought to be like Christ. But he also knew it’s helpful to have someone on earth to emulate. In counseling the Corinthian believers, he advised them, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Basically Paul was saying, “If you want to know how to act right, act like me.”

Wow. I wonder if we could say that to our kids. If you want to know how to act, act just like Mommy.

Love God just like Mommy does. Speak to others—strangers or friends and family—just like Mommy does. Be compassionate like Mommy is. Be generous like Mommy. When you’re mad, act like Mommy does when she’s mad. Could we say that?

Some days, the last thing I want my kids to do is act like me. But they will act like me, whether I specifically tell them to or not. If your kids are old enough, you’ve heard your words coming from their mouth. You’ve seen your attitudes in their body language. You’ve read your emotions on their face.

They are imitating you. But whom are you imitating?

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” That’s the key. We have to imitate Christ as much if not more so than our kids imitate us. But do we do so? Too often we don’t. We imitate Christ when it’s convenient, but when it gets difficult, or we’ve had a bad day, or our emotions are involved, we act like…well, the person Satan wants us to be. The person who doesn’t show a very good example of what God is like when we’re under stress.

I know it’s difficult. Believe me, with four young children ages 8 and under, and 37 weeks pregnant with Baby #5, I know it’s difficult to be what we should be all of the time. We’re human beings, after all. But fortunately, we have something far more than human strength available to us to make us what we should be: we have access to God’s divine power enabling us to be what we should. And in His power, we can be far more than we could ever hope to be on our own.

No, we’re not ever going to be perfect. There will be times we have to repent of our actions (or inaction) and apologize to our children, pointing them toward the only One who will truly never fail them. But if we want to be an example we can tell our children to imitate where godliness is concerned, we need to be purposeful about it. We must remember both that our children will imitate us and that godliness doesn’t happen by accident. We need to constantly fix our eyes on Jesus as our example, because only by imitating Him can we hope to provide a worthy example to our children. And we must remember to ask Him for His strength and His power to enable us to be what He wants us to be before the little eyes and hearts watching us.

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Your children will imitate you, Mom. Will you be purposeful in providing them if not a perfect example, at least the best example you can? Will your example point them toward life and godliness?

I pray that yours will. I pray that mine will do the same for my children.

1 Corinthians 11:1—Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

February 2012

Seeing Potential

Giving Birth

Imitating Jesus

Mini Me

You Missed

Priorities

I Wouldn’t Do That

Little Things

8 Seconds