Imitating Jesus

Megan Breedlove February 13, 2012 0 Comments

Last week, we talked about the need to imitate Jesus in order to provide the best example for our children. I promised that this week, I would share some meaningful ways we can do that, and I will. But first, I want to remind us all (including me) of something very important as we begin to study the topic of imitating Jesus: we can’t succeed in our own strength.

Most of us, upon realizing that we need to represent Jesus to our children, will have one of two reactions. Either we’ll see success as so impossible that we won’t even bother to try, or we’ll have the opposite reaction and determine just to try harder. Neither one of these perspectives is fully correct. The first group is right that we can’t do this on our own, but that doesn’t excuse us from putting forth our best effort. The second group is right that we do indeed need to put forth our best effort, but even that won’t be enough.

So we can’t succeed on our own, and our best efforts won’t be good enough. Now what?

Now, we rely on God for the strength, wisdom, and endurance to do what He’s called us to do. In our own strength, success is impossible. In God’s strength, success is inevitable.

So as you read about these areas where your example can make an incredible difference to your children, remember that God’s power is available to make it happen, and it’s the only way to make it happen. You have to ask Him for His help—preferably on a regular basis—but you can be sure of getting it.

The first way we can imitate Christ in a way that will really matter to our children is by loving as Jesus loved. Jesus loved children, and they knew it. They were drawn to Him. They wanted to hang out with Him. Why? Because they knew He cared about them. Do your children know you care? How do they know? What would they say if you asked them whether they know Mommy loves them deeply?

We must show love to our children, or not much else that we say or do will matter. We need to make sure we demonstrate our love in a way our children can receive. Some children love to hear the words “I love you”, and those words make them feel especially loved. (All children need to hear these words, but for some, spoken words have a special meaning.) Some children love to receive little gifts. Some want to spend time with you or cuddle with you. Some feel loved when you do things for them. (See Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages of Children for more information on this topic.) It’s best if you can show love to your child in all these ways at times. But it’s especially vital to your little one’s heart that you communicate love in his or her “love language”. Don’t assume that it must be obvious to your children that you love them. Let it become obvious because they keep seeing your love expressed over and over in a way they can understand.

Second, we can treat our children’s spirits tenderly even when we are angry at them. Little children aren’t made to withstand adult blasts of anger on a regular basis. True, kids are resilient, but after awhile, corrosive anger begins to eat at their spirit. If your children are terrified of you lest you get angry, never knowing when the other shoe is going to drop, this will create scars on your love relationship with them.

That’s not to say that occasional slip-ups will harm them for life. When you are too harsh with your anger now and then, a heartfelt apology will usually suffice to restore your relationship. But when harshness (whether by verbal aggression or the more passive sighs and silent treatment) is the rule rather than the exception, you’ll wound their little spirit. Ask Jesus to help you treat your children when you’re mad like you would want your parents to treat you when they’re angry (or like you wish they would have treated you). Your kids need to know that even when Mommy’s angry, she still loves them.

Third, be patient. When your children make mistakes; when they demonstrate childish inability or lack of skill; when they are needy on the same day you’re exhausted, be patient anyway. After all, God doesn’t immediately zap you the moment you make a mistake. He patiently leads you until you understand how to succeed. He cheers you on as you make progress. He builds you up and helps you to feel confident and capable.

What a blessing it would be to your children if you would do the same for them. Think about it: a child who grows up in this kind of environment will grow up to be confident and to believe he or she is capable of mastering life. That’s what I want for my children, and I know you want the same thing. So be patient with them. Your kids need to know it’s okay to be imperfect and that Mommy loves them anyway, whether or not they’re performing properly.

Fourth, be willing to serve. Even Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. Why should we expect any less for ourselves? Yet too often we resent the effort it takes to parent well. Our kids’ neediness annoys us. We want more free time for ourselves. We can’t wait for the kids to become more independent so we don’t have to do so much for them.

Our kids know it when we have that attitude. They’re well aware when Mommy is grumpy or crabby about having to serve them. What does that communicate to them? That they’re a bother. That they’re less important than we are. Maybe even that we don’t love them. But I guarantee you that we cause far more trouble for our Father than our kids cause for us. Yet He doesn’t grumble and complain when we need something from Him. In fact, He invites us to come boldly to Him and ask Him for what we need. What difference might it make if we were actually glad to serve our children? Well, they’d feel loved, for one thing. For another, they’d learn how to serve others with a good attitude. And perhaps most important, they’d realize what kind of attitude God has toward helping them, and they’d feel more free to come to Him.

That’s what parenting is ultimately all about, isn’t it? Teaching our children about God and representing Him in such a way that our children will want to come to Him. Think about it: if God is like you portray Him to be by your actions, will your children want to draw near to Him?

If you’re like me, sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it’s no. I wish it were yes all the time. But I can’t succeed on my own. I need to pray regularly and frequently for God to help me be the kind of example He wants me to be. So do you. Because our children not only learn to act like we act, but they also learn that God is an awful lot like what we are. Let’s portray an accurate picture of Him so that our kids will know who He is. If we do that, they’ll want to be around Him. And they’ll never want to leave that kind of love. That’s where we want them to be—resting securely in His arms. Forever.

1 Chronicles 16:11—Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!

John 13:15—“For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”