In Style

Yesterday, my best friend Lori and I went clothes shopping. The trip was primarily for me, as I have been working on losing weight and need clothes that fit my new size. Lori, as a former model, is not only beautiful, but also very knowledgeable about fashion and what clothes look good on people. So she went with me to our favorite store to help me pick out clothes that would flatter my figure.

I loved having her with me, not just because she’s my best friend, but also for her expertise in this area. With her there, I felt confident that I would come home with clothes that fit my budget (she’s budget-conscious like I am) as well as fit my body and made me look and feel good. Since Lori is also honest, I knew that if I picked out something that wouldn’t really look good on me, she would tactfully say so.

In other words, Lori was my mentor yesterday in an area of life that is important to me. But there’s another area of my life that’s far more important than clothes, and that is the area of spiritual things. Because spiritual things are so important, I want a mentor in that area too, even more than I do when picking out what to wear.

Most of us would benefit from having a spiritual mentor in our lives. A spiritual mentor is someone who is farther along in the faith than we are and can help guide us along the path. This woman will be more mature than we are and will know us (or come to know us) well. She will speak truth into our lives and rebuke us when necessary; she will walk with us through our struggles and share some of her struggles as well. She’ll be that person we can lean on when we need godly guidance, comfort, wisdom, or encouragement. She’ll check on us when it’s been awhile since we’ve talked, yet she’ll also be sure we maintain regular contact with each other. In short, she will truly care about us and be willing to invest her life in us and in our spiritual growth.

Does it sound wonderful to have a woman like that involved in our lives? It truly is. I have been blessed with more than one mentor with whom I can be completely honest and completely myself, and receive from her nothing but understanding, support, and encouragement.

It may be that you also have such a mentor. If you do, thank God for your mentor, and then thank her for all she does for you. If you don’t, you might consider one of two possibilities. The first possibility is that God might want you to mentor someone else. Maybe He wants you to come alongside somebody in the way I’ve described and help her know Him better. Or, the second possibility, maybe He wants you to pray, asking Him to send a mentor into your life.

It’s possible that right now, this is a season for you to walk on your own. But it’s also possible that God has a wonderful woman in mind to mentor you like we’ve talked about. If you need any further ideas on how to look for a mentor or whether you should ask someone, or if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. It’s what I’m here for. I’d love to encourage you.

Titus 2:3-4—Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children. (ESV)

Not Quite Right

Timmy with ice cream coneThe other day, the kids and I joined Phil in the cafeteria at his work for supper. The kids got to eat their favorite foods and play on the awesome playground. To top it all off, Daddy announced that he was buying everyone frozen yogurt!

We went to the frozen yogurt shop, where everyone got to have tastes of the various kinds and then choose a yogurt (cone or cup) with whatever kind of toppings they wanted. Even Timmy got some, as I partially filled a cone with vanilla yogurt for him.

Timmy immediately began eating his yogurt, diving right into it with his entire face. He was happy as a clam. Until, apparently, the yogurt level in the cone got too low and he had to find another solution for getting the remaining yogurt out of the cone and into his mouth.

“Mommy,” one of the kids called out, “Timmy’s eating his cone upside down, and he’s really making a mess.”

Sure enough, Timmy had turned the cone upside down to get at the last few bites of yogurt. The only problem was that some of the yogurt fell out the top of the cone and all over him. He had the cone about half eaten from the bottom by the time we discovered him. He didn’t seem to be bothered by the mess dripping down his face and arm and covering his clothes. He was content with having found a way to get at the remainder of his sweet treat.

The way Timmy was eating the cone was not quite right—at least not in the traditional sense. But it served his purposes. The only problem was that it made a huge mess.

You and I sometimes try to eat our cones from the bottom too. What do I mean? Simply this: that sometimes, when something’s not happening the way it’s “supposed” to, we turn to alternate means of getting the results we want.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we need a little creativity to make things happen. The problem comes in when we choose methods that aren’t in line with the way God wants things done. We try to force things ourselves. And when that happens, we always make a mess.

When our husband doesn’t show us the sensitivity or understanding we hope for, we choose to nag him instead of pray for him and speak with him calmly. We make a mess.

When our kids don’t obey us, instead of praying and working on discipline, we yell. Messy.

When we want to feel good about ourselves, instead of seeking affirmation from God and appropriate encouragement from others, we brag. Or we tear others down verbally. Or we gossip. Messy, messy, messy.

It all depends on whether or not God wants that last little bit of ice cream to be eaten. If so, it’s okay to turn the cone upside down. But if He doesn’t—if He’s said there is to be no more yogurt for us—we dare not turn the cone upside down unless we want to make a huge mess God never intended.

Getting the things God wants by using a little honest creativity (upside down cone) is probably fine. Getting things we want but God doesn’t by using that same creativity? Or forcing things to happen that God has said no to? Not okay.

Be careful when you turn that cone upside down. Getting what you want by the wrong means is never, ever as satisfying as getting, by the proper means, what God wants you to have.

Deuteronomy 10:12—And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. (ESV) (emphasis mine)

Excluded

This past week, my son Kenny has been attending a day camp sponsored by our city. He loves their program, which includes games, play time, and various activities in a group of kids approximately his age.

One day, however, when I arrived to pick Kenny up, his teacher asked to talk with me. She explained that some of the other children had been deliberately excluding Kenny from a game, and it made him cry. She told me what she had done to deal with the problem (I was very pleased with her efforts) and said she would be on the lookout in case anything similar ever happened again.

Naturally, on the way home, I talked to Kenny about it. He admitted that he had been sad but said he still wanted to return to camp the next day. The whole incident didn’t seem to bother him too much.

But the point isn’t just Kenny’s amazing attitude. The point is that in the moment when Kenny was crying from the pain of being excluded out of deliberate meanness, Jesus understood. And Jesus understood not only because He’s God, but because He was excluded too.

People didn’t always like Jesus very much. In fact, some people (mainly the Pharisees) hated Him so vehemently they repeatedly tried to kill Him until they finally succeeded. He was completely excluded from their inner circle, despite the fact that He was the one they should have been worshipping.

Even the disciples excluded Jesus at the time of His arrest and impending crucifixion by abandoning Him. They didn’t want any part of Him. And Peter denied three times that He even knew Jesus or was a part of His group.

We know these things about Jesus, but we don’t always think about how Jesus must have felt. Just because He was God doesn’t mean He didn’t feel the pain that comes from being excluded. In fact, the Bible tells us that He was “despised and rejected, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief”. He knew how it felt in that moment when Kenny cried.

Not only that, precious mom, He knows how you feel when you are excluded. When your husband excludes you, or your friends or family, or even strangers, He knows how it feels. When someone doesn’t want you to be part of their group, He understands. When people don’t want anything to do with you, He feels that pain.

You see, Jesus came to earth not just to take the punishment for our sins, as if that weren’t enough. He also came to identify with us so that He would experience what we as human beings go through. He was willing to suffer rejection and exclusion so He could understand what you feel like when it happens to you.

Those memories about times you were rejected or excluded? He knows how you feel. The pain going on in your heart right now because you are currently being excluded? He understands. He’s felt it too.

What all this means is that you can take your pain to Him and find in Him someone who truly “gets it”. He’s not just going to tell you to get over it; He’ll help you heal. And He’ll do it because He wants you to know that you are not alone in your pain. He will never exclude you or reject you. He’s on your side.

So run to Him. Let Him take you in His arms and love you. Let Him begin to heal your hurts. Lay your head upon Him as He holds you close, and hear Him whisper, “I understand.”

Isaiah 53:3—He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. (ESV)

Hebrews 13:5b—He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (ESV)

Independence Day

FireworksThis past week, we in the United States celebrated our Independence Day (usually known as the Fourth of July), the day in 1776 we declared ourselves to be our own country under our own rule. There are as many ways to celebrate the Fourth as there are families in America. Our family’s celebration included burgers for lunch and going to a water park in the afternoon. (Fortunately for us, our Mexican neighbors’ celebration included cooking out on their grill and bringing us a bunch of their extra food.)

Every year when this holiday comes around, the stores gear up for it in advance. They run sales on steaks and sunscreen, chips and beach towels. Families make plans to attend fireworks displays and spend special time together. And all of it is in celebration of the day our ancestors affirmed themselves to be their own nation, a decision with far-reaching consequences and benefits that reach forward in time to this very day.

As Christians, however, we have an Independence Day to celebrate that observes far more than the day we became a nation. Actually, we have two Independence Days. One of them has already come, and the other is still in the future.

Our first Independence Day came when we accepted Christ and He declared us to be His. No longer were we slaves to sin. We were independent from sin, free to choose Christ. As our rector said in church this morning, there are many ways to be enslaved, and before you and I met Christ, we were slaves to sin. But Christ set us free from sin and its rule over us. No longer do we have to obey it as our master. We are now under different rule, a freely chosen government, which is Christ.

You see, accepting Christ doesn’t just mean that Christ frees us from sin so we can live however we want to live, free from restrictions set by anybody. He sets us free from sin for the purpose of inviting us to come under His rule, a rule which guides us into abundant life.

That was our first Independence Day—when we were freed to choose Christ.

Our second Independence Day has not yet come. That’s because the second Day will come only when we reach heaven. In heaven, there will be no more sin. Yes, we’re free from having to obey it down here, but sometimes, out of pure insanity or perhaps misunderstanding of the fact that it has no hold on us anymore, we still choose to obey sin. In heaven, we will no longer choose sin over obeying God.

Already there is no more slavery. But in heaven, there will be no more sin, either.

I’ve already had my first Independence Day, and I pray you have too. (If you haven’t, contact me, and I’ll be glad to introduce you to the One who can set you free.) But I long for the second Day, too. Don’t you?

Galatians 5:1—For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (ESV)

Scripture Stickies

Scripture StickiesScripture Stickies are one of the neatest resources I have come across in a long time. Bible verses printed on stick-it paper, they are professionally designed and extremely helpful. Barely have time to brush your teeth in the morning? Might as well put a Scripture Sticky on your mirror and work on a memory verse while brushing your teeth. Stick them in your car, on your mirror, or over the sink in your kitchen; they work anywhere (and they really do come off easily). Available in different categories of verses, as well as certain foreign languages, Scripture Stickies are an excellent resource for getting God’s Word into your mind. They make great gifts, too! I highly recommend them.

Purchase Scripture Stickies at the Scripture Stickies website here (Update: no longer available).

*I received no compensation for this review other than a free sample of the product.

The Unburdened Heart

The Unburdened HeartSuzanne Eller has written a book that’s a must-read for everyone struggling with forgiveness—everyone whose heart is burdened by the wrongs that have been done to him or her. We’ve all suffered at the hands of others, and Suzie acknowledges that. In fact, she knows all about that, having endured much in her life that she needed to forgive. Suzie is very open about her own journey and very understanding about the difficulty of the process of forgiving. Through her own stories, others’ stories, and her conversational, come-alongside-you-like-a-best-friend prose, she walks with the reader through every part of the journey. She also includes several questions at the end of each chapter to help the reader work through forgiveness in her own life.  Have you been wounded in the past and aren’t sure why you should even consider forgiving your offender? Suzie covers this topic too, showing readers how forgiveness is not primarily for the benefit of the offender but so that we can move on. I highly recommend this book that has become influential in my own journey to forgiveness.

Purchase your copy of The Unburdened Heart from the Proverbs 31 Ministries Store here or from Amazon.com here.

*I received no compensation for this review other than a free copy of the book.

Sharing with Mommy

My oldest daughter Ellie loves to read. She enjoys novels, to be sure, but she also enjoys reading magazines and books that tell her lots of information. When she comes across a particularly interesting fact, she likes to come share it with me.

“Mommy!” she’ll say, arriving at my side with an eager smile. “Wanna hear about….” and she’ll fill in the blank with the subject of whatever neat tidbit she has just discovered.

I love that Ellie is so eager to share with me. I hope that continues into her teen years and even beyond, into her adult years. That’s because I love her, and I love connecting with her in a fun and interesting way.

I bet God loves connecting with us in a similar way. In fact, I know He does. God’s always ready and waiting to hear from us when we pray. The only problem is, most of us aren’t interested in sharing with Him very often. When something interesting happens in our lives, we share it with our family, our girlfriends, and the entire world (via Facebook), but we rarely talk to God about it.

You see, God doesn’t just want us to pray when we need something. Just as we wouldn’t like it if the only time our daughter spoke to us was when she wanted something, so God wants us to speak to Him on a regular basis, not just when we need Him to do something for us.

The Bible commands us to pray with all kinds of prayers and on all occasions. But do we really? Most of us confine our prayer life to “thank You for the food” and “please bless all these people on my list”. Do we ever come to God for other reasons? Not very often.

We could, if we wanted to, come to God for anything at all, and He’d love to listen to us. We could talk to Him about our day, about how disappointed we were when our favorite baseball team lost in the playoffs, or about a funny joke we heard. True, it’s not like God doesn’t know all those things already. But remember that the purpose behind talking to God is not to convey information to Him, as Ellie does with me sometimes. The purpose in talking to Him is simply to be in relationship with Him.

It’s hard to have an intimate relationship with someone you never talk to, or whom you talk to only when you have a request. It’s much easier to relate to someone you talk to about everyday things, hopes and dreams, triumphs and failures.

Why don’t we talk to God this way? Maybe we think He’s not interested. Oh, but He’s interested in anything we have to say, simply because we’re His daughters. Maybe we think we don’t have time, but we all have time to shoot up a quick prayer now and then throughout the day, telling Him about something or thanking Him for something.

Do you talk to God on a regular basis? I hope you do. Is your prayer life confined to a list of requests? If it is, you need to broaden your conversations with God and talk about other things as well. God wants to be your Friend, not just your genie in a bottle. And with such an amazing, incredible Friend as He ready to listen to anything you have to say, why wouldn’t you take every chance you have to talk to Him?

Ephesians 6:18—And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. (NIV)