What Song Do You Sing?
Megan Breedlove 
You know how sometimes, a song gets stuck in your head?
Apparently, “Happy Birthday” is stuck in Timmy’s head, because at 26 months, it is the only song he sings. Repeatedly. He’ll choose someone whose birthday it is (usually Daddy) and sing the song with that person’s name inserted at the appropriate spot. At the end, he claps and shouts, “Yay Daddy!”
I’m pretty certain as well that the songs from Frozen are stuck in my older four kids’ heads. Every day, they sing these songs. I finally bought them the CD so they could at least learn all the words instead of singing the same few phrases over and over. (In fact, even as I type this devotional, my oldest daughter Ellie is in her room singing “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?”)
I know what words are likely to come out of my kids’ mouths because I’ve heard them so often before. But I wonder what words my kids expect to come out of my mouth.
Do I speak with kindness, gentleness and helpfulness? Do I speak with love? Is that what my children expect usually to hear, or do they more often expect grumpiness and impatience?
None of us can completely control our tongue. In fact, Scripture tells us that “we all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.” (See James 3:2.) And I’m certainly not perfect, which means that I will stumble in this area. I will fall. I will fail.
Failing on occasion doesn’t mean our children will come to expect failure from us. Children understand that adults mess up, too. They know we’re not perfect, even when we don’t admit our imperfections. If the majority of our speech is good—if it builds them up—they will come to expect uplifting speech from us and will see our mess-ups as an aberration from the norm.
But if the majority of what they hear is negative—complaining, fault-finding, being grumpy or unloving—then that is what they will come to expect.
Moms, are you making a conscientious effort to build inspiring and heartening patterns of speech into your children’s lives? If not, your speech will default to what’s easiest—and what’s easiest is to fall into the patterns of this world and be unhelpful, harmful, or even degrading.
If you’re really brave (and if your children are old enough), you can ask them what they think about how Mommy speaks to them. You will either be encouraged, or you will learn where it is necessary for you to make amends.
You can always go before the Lord and ask Him whether or not your speech toward your children reflects the loving attitude of His Son. But know this: if it doesn’t, you have more than a speech problem; you have a heart problem (see Luke 6:45). What comes out of your mouth is a direct reflection of what is in your heart. That’s why it’s so important to take this matter before God: because He is the only one who can change your heart so that good things come from your mouth instead of evil.
What are you constantly “singing”, moms? What can your children expect to hear from you?
Ephesians 4:29—Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV)
Yesterday, on Easter, I staged an Easter egg hunt for my children in the front yard. They wound up with more candy than they needed. But getting candy isn’t the reason why Jesus’ resurrection matters.
The other day, Timmy and I had what I think was an actual conversation. Sort of, anyway. It went like this:
Maybe your husband just lost his job. Maybe you just lost yours. Maybe you’re struggling with discipline problems with your children. Maybe you’ve recently lost someone you love.