When Life’s Not Fair
“That’s not fair!”
How many times have you heard that at your house? I’ve heard it plenty in mine. My children say it when they believe someone else got treated better than they did, or when they didn’t get something they want. And while they’re not always correct about the issue of fairness as it pertains to them, they’re right about one thing, at least.
Sometimes, life just isn’t fair.
Sometimes, 12-year-old girls have babies and leave them in dumpsters, when you and your husband have been trying to conceive for years and haven’t been successful (this was our situation).
Sometimes, people treat you badly…and then blame it on you.
Sometimes, people who make ungodly decisions and choices seem to prosper financially and in every other way, while you and your family do your best to live the way God wants you to…and yet still struggle to pay the bills.
Sometimes, good people get sick. Sometimes, they die. Sometimes children die.
Life isn’t always fair. It just doesn’t work that way.
We grieve over the unfairness of it all as we suffer. Why me? Why her? Why anybody at all?
I don’t have the answers, though sometimes I wish I did. I do know that unfairness entered into the world when sin entered in because of Adam and Eve. But knowing that we live in a fallen, sinful world, and that that’s why life isn’t fair, doesn’t make us feel much better when injustice strikes.
So what do we do? How do we deal with life when it seems unfair and we know there’s not much (if anything) we can do about it?
Two things. First, we fix our eyes on Jesus.
When people disappoint you, fix your eyes on the only One who never will. Contemplate His beauty. Not physical beauty (we’re told that He wasn’t anything special to look at); but the beauty of His character. Let someone’s sin against you remind you to turn your eyes to the only One who will never do you wrong. Let someone’s lack of love direct your gaze to the One who loves you perfectly and permanently. Let someone’s insufficiency point you to the all-sufficient One; let neglect or laziness remind you that Jesus never sleeps; let disappointment in someone’s character make you all the more grateful for Jesus, whom you will only love and admire more and more as you get to know Him better.
No, fixing your eyes on Jesus won’t make the pain of your earthly troubles go away—not entirely. But it will comfort you in the midst of them.
Second, we do what Jesus did when He lived in a world full of injustice. We look forward to the joy set before us.
This week’s verse tells us that for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross (the ultimate in unfair treatment by human beings) even though He hated the shame of it. In other words, Jesus knew that the cross was going to be cruel, yet He went through it anyway because He knew that set before Him was incredible joy.
The same joy is set before us, and you and I need to remember this when we face life’s cruelties too. When life is unfair, remember that in heaven, there will be no more unfairness. No more! When evildoers prosper, remember that in heaven, there will be no more sin. When we don’t understand how or why something could have happened, remember that in heaven, nothing bad will happen ever again. Ever!
In fact, we’re told that the joy that awaits us will make the sufferings of this world look like nothing (see Romans 8:18). Can you imagine a joy so great that it will make the pain you feel now look weak by comparison? I can’t fully imagine it either. But…wow!
I know it’s really easy to focus on the thing (or person) that hurt or offended us. But the Bible says, Don’t do that! Look at Jesus instead!
It’s easy to focus on our pain. But instead, we’re told, Think about the coming joy!
No, life isn’t fair. But there is Someone who is.
Life isn’t always joyous. But there’s a place that is.
Fix your eyes on Jesus—not on your circumstances, or even on other people. And remember the coming joy. Always remember the joy.
Hebrews 12:1-2 – Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (KJV)
Do you ever look around at your house and wish you could get rid of half the stuff you own?
As I write this, my heart is heavy. I recently received news that a dear family friend has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. I didn’t cry the night I found out; I don’t think reality had sunk in yet. But I spent most of the next morning in tears.
There are times when it seems like life is going along just fine. It’s not perfect, but on the whole, things are going well. You’re content. You may even experience a period of particularly intimate communion with God.
This past July, my husband’s bike and Ellie’s bike were stolen off our front porch. In broad daylight. While there was a car in the driveway, and the babysitter was inside with the kids.
Only in Texas (or maybe a few other places) would I have had a recent conversation with Lindsey that went something like this:
I don’t spend much time on Pinterest (as in, none). One reason is that Facebook already sucks up enough of my time; another reason is that I know myself well enough to know that rarely (if ever) would I actually carry out any of the wonderfully elaborate ideas I found there.
Only one flight away from reaching home after a week-long absence, I was waiting at the airport for my plane to arrive at the gate. I don’t mind waiting in airports; being by myself gives me a chance to, well, be by myself. I can read or surf the web for a little while without worrying about being interrupted.
I expected to receive a text back from him that said something like, “Yay! They can’t wait!” But the text I got instead said, “They want to see a picture of YOU. Take a selfie.” So I managed to take a selfie that didn’t make me look like I was looking into a fun-house mirror (it’s always awkward to get the right angle), and I sent it.
It hasn’t been a very hot summer in our part of Texas this year. We’ve only had twelve days where the temperature has reached or exceeded one hundred degrees, as opposed to twice that many days (or more!). Nonetheless, there have been enough hot days that the kids and I have gotten to go to the water park at our local YMCA several times.
We’ve all seen pictures—whether on television or in the newspapers—of SWAT teams ready for action. They carry weapons and protective gear so they can successfully carry out their mission. Their body armor is concentrated on a human being’s most vulnerable areas—the head and the chest.