When Life’s Not Fair

unfair“That’s not fair!”

How many times have you heard that at your house? I’ve heard it plenty in mine. My children say it when they believe someone else got treated better than they did, or when they didn’t get something they want. And while they’re not always correct about the issue of fairness as it pertains to them, they’re right about one thing, at least.

Sometimes, life just isn’t fair.

Sometimes, 12-year-old girls have babies and leave them in dumpsters, when you and your husband have been trying to conceive for years and haven’t been successful (this was our situation).

Sometimes, people treat you badly…and then blame it on you.

Sometimes, people who make ungodly decisions and choices seem to prosper financially and in every other way, while you and your family do your best to live the way God wants you to…and yet still struggle to pay the bills.

Sometimes, good people get sick. Sometimes, they die. Sometimes children die.

Life isn’t always fair. It just doesn’t work that way.

We grieve over the unfairness of it all as we suffer. Why me? Why her? Why anybody at all?

I don’t have the answers, though sometimes I wish I did. I do know that unfairness entered into the world when sin entered in because of Adam and Eve. But knowing that we live in a fallen, sinful world, and that that’s why life isn’t fair, doesn’t make us feel much better when injustice strikes.

So what do we do? How do we deal with life when it seems unfair and we know there’s not much (if anything) we can do about it?

Two things. First, we fix our eyes on Jesus.

When people disappoint you, fix your eyes on the only One who never will. Contemplate His beauty. Not physical beauty (we’re told that He wasn’t anything special to look at); but the beauty of His character. Let someone’s sin against you remind you to turn your eyes to the only One who will never do you wrong. Let someone’s lack of love direct your gaze to the One who loves you perfectly and permanently. Let someone’s insufficiency point you to the all-sufficient One; let neglect or laziness remind you that Jesus never sleeps; let disappointment in someone’s character make you all the more grateful for Jesus, whom you will only love and admire more and more as you get to know Him better.

No, fixing your eyes on Jesus won’t make the pain of your earthly troubles go away—not entirely. But it will comfort you in the midst of them.

Second, we do what Jesus did when He lived in a world full of injustice. We look forward to the joy set before us.

This week’s verse tells us that for the joy set before Him, Jesus endured the cross (the ultimate in unfair treatment by human beings) even though He hated the shame of it. In other words, Jesus knew that the cross was going to be cruel, yet He went through it anyway because He knew that set before Him was incredible joy.

The same joy is set before us, and you and I need to remember this when we face life’s cruelties too. When life is unfair, remember that in heaven, there will be no more unfairness. No more! When evildoers prosper, remember that in heaven, there will be no more sin. When we don’t understand how or why something could have happened, remember that in heaven, nothing bad will happen ever again. Ever!

In fact, we’re told that the joy that awaits us will make the sufferings of this world look like nothing (see Romans 8:18). Can you imagine a joy so great that it will make the pain you feel now look weak by comparison? I can’t fully imagine it either. But…wow!

I know it’s really easy to focus on the thing (or person) that hurt or offended us. But the Bible says, Don’t do that! Look at Jesus instead!

It’s easy to focus on our pain. But instead, we’re told, Think about the coming joy!

No, life isn’t fair. But there is Someone who is.

Life isn’t always joyous. But there’s a place that is.

Fix your eyes on Jesus—not on your circumstances, or even on other people. And remember the coming joy. Always remember the joy.

Hebrews 12:1-2 – Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (KJV)

Too Much Stuff

Riley Center RoomDo you ever look around at your house and wish you could get rid of half the stuff you own?

I do, especially after times like this past weekend, when I led a retreat for moms and stayed in a really nice hotel room for two days. With only the room furnishings and the items in the carry-on-sized suitcase I’d brought with me, I did just fine. In fact, it was kind of nice to spend two whole days in a place that was clean and uncluttered.

When I got home, I found that after two days of more spartan living, my house seemed even more cluttered than it had before I left. Now, I’m wishing I could somehow go through my home and get rid of at least half the stuff we own. Maybe more.

It’s not that our house is bad, by American standards. It’s just that I really enjoyed living with the basics for a little while, and I’d like to get closer to that in our home. I am more at peace when my home is uncluttered and neat. If giving up a bunch of stuff is what it takes to make that happen, I think it just might be worth it.

For that matter, I’d probably benefit from de-cluttering my spiritual house, too. Maybe you’d like to clean out yours, as well. Let’s look at three things we could get rid of.

First, let’s get rid of anything out of place that might trip us up. Just as leaving toys on the floor can cause us to fall, so can leaving sins lying around. When I see toys lying around, I’m tempted to leave them there until I can do something about them later—or until I can get somebody else (namely, the kids) to do something about them. Leaving sins undealt with until some future time, or hoping someone else will do something about them, however, is even worse than leaving a toy in the middle of the living room floor. If I trip over the toy, I might hurt myself, though probably not very badly. But if my sin trips me up, the risk of spiritual damage is far greater.

Next, let’s get rid of the books on our shelves that contain information that is inaccurate. We have a beautiful set of built-in shelves in our home that my husband constructed when we were remodeling the dining room. Most of those shelves are filled with books. Many of the books contain teachings based on the truth of God’s Word. But if there were any that espoused ideas that were actually contrary to Scripture, I would want to get rid of those. Likewise, we need to get rid of the books in our spiritual shelves that are filled with Satan’s lies. Books with titles like You’re Worthless or God Doesn’t Love You or You’re a Terrible Mom. Wherever these lies came from, whether our parents or society or somewhere else, they originated from the pit of hell. Satan loves it when we keep these books on our shelves, and especially when we read them over and over again. They’re his favorites, too. So let’s get rid of them and replace them with titles like You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made or God is Madly in Love with You or You’re a Great Mom.

Third, let’s get rid of anything that’s no good anymore: the leftovers in the fridge that have been there too long, the expired medications, the clothes that can’t be mended, the furniture that’s no longer sturdy. These things were good for you at one time, but not anymore. Now they’re either of no use to you, or outright harmful. Spiritually speaking, perhaps you have some relationships that need to be reevaluated in terms of how much contact you should continue to have with that person due to the way they treat you or the influence they have upon you. Maybe there are some activities your family participates in that, while not bad in and of themselves, are not longer suitable for your family’s interests or schedule. Is there a goal you’ve been trying to reach that you need to realize is not God’s will for you? Get rid of it too.

If I were to get rid of a large portion of the things my family and I own, I would enjoy the simplicity and peace of having to deal with fewer possessions. If I clean my spiritual house, I know I will receive even greater benefits. You will too, if you clean yours.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a more intimate relationship with God? Wouldn’t you love for your soul to be more relaxed and at peace?

Clean your spiritual house.

Daniel 12:10—Many shall purify themselves and make themselves [spotless] and be refined, but the wicked shall act wickedly. And none of the wicked shall understand, but those who are wise shall understand.

Before It’s Too Late

sundialAs I write this, my heart is heavy. I recently received news that a dear family friend has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. I didn’t cry the night I found out; I don’t think reality had sunk in yet. But I spent most of the next morning in tears.

My friend is seeking a second opinion from another specialist. Apparently, there’s still some possibility that what she has might have some other name and might not be life-threatening at all. That’s what we’re all hoping, anyway, and praying for. But always, in the back of my mind—and, I’m sure, hers—is the possibility that maybe the first doctor was right. Maybe she really is going to die.

Our times together may be many fewer than either of us anticipated. And in light of that reality, I’ve been thinking. Which other family members and friends whom I really care about do I need to spend more time with while I still can?

After all, each one of us is going to die someday (unless, of course, the Lord Jesus returns first). Our time with every single one of our friends and loved ones is limited. We don’t know how much longer we have with anyone. When I get the news that someone I love is dying, or has died, I don’t want to have any regrets. I want to have made the most of that relationship that I could.

Especially my relationships with my children.

If—may God forbid!—one of my children were to die before I did, I would want to know that I had done everything I could to love them, nurture them, comfort, protect, and encourage them while I had the chance. I’d want to know that I’d spent more time playing outside with them than inside on Facebook. I’d want to know that when I had the chance to really be with one of my children, that I took advantage of that, pouring love and security into their little souls and making them feel like I’d rather be with them than anywhere else on earth.

I know I can’t be a perfect mom. But if that day were ever to come when I sat on my child’s bed hugging his or her favorite stuffed animal and breathing in the fading scent of my little boy or girl, I would want to have no regrets. I would want to know that I’d put my children before myself and poured out my life so that they could have the best life possible. I would want to have a huge vault of memories stored up that I could take out and treasure one by one, instead of a string of memories of my own voice saying, “Not right now,” or, “Mama’s busy,” or, “Why don’t you go play with one of your siblings?”

I can’t change the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I can’t go back and re-take advantage of opportunities I missed the first time around.

But I can start living differently from here on out.

I can be purposeful about spending time with my children. Why always wait until they come to me? Why not go to them and ask if they would like to play?

When my children do come and ask, I can accept their invitation gladly and be thrilled about the fact that they want to spend time with me right now, instead of resentful that they interrupted something I was doing.

I can make a list of all the things I would want to look back on and say, “I did everything I could,” and I can begin doing those things now. Today. Because I really don’t know how much time I have with my precious children.

If I fail to spend plenty of good, purposeful, quality time with my children, I’ll regret that one day—whether that day comes at the end of my life, or of theirs, or somewhere in between. But I’ll never regret it if I invest my life in my children. If I pour my life into theirs.

If I make loving memories while I can.

Philippians 2:17—Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. (ESV)

Hold Out for the Angels

angelThere are times when it seems like life is going along just fine. It’s not perfect, but on the whole, things are going well. You’re content. You may even experience a period of particularly intimate communion with God.

And then…BAM!

Suddenly, you find yourself in the midst of a spiritual wilderness. Life looks bleak. That special intimacy with God has turned into a desperate clinging to Him in order to survive. And the wilderness time goes on…and on…and on.

Precious mom, Jesus knows how you feel. Not just because He’s God, but because He’s been there.

The incident in Jesus’ life that we’re going to look at today occurred when He was 30. Up to this point, we don’t know much about Him (except for His birth and that trip to Jerusalem when He was 12). But it’s reasonable to assume that He had a godly upbringing and a decent life up until then.

At age 30, of course, it came time for Him to begin His ministry. I imagine that He was probably looking forward to it. He was about to embark upon the calling for which His Father had sent Him to earth in the first place. So He goes to His cousin John to get baptized and get started.

We’re told that after His baptism, Jesus had a particularly intimate moment of communion with God. The Father sent the Spirit down in the form of a dove to alight upon Jesus, and Jesus heard His Father’s voice confirming their relationship and His love for Jesus. What a moment that must have been!

But then, things take a surprising turn. Immediately after this “mountaintop” experience, Jesus is driven by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness. God took Jesus from that spiritual high and placed Him right in the midst of a lonely time of spiritual attack. And these attacks continued for 40 days and 40 nights (the original Greek makes it clear that Satan was after Him the whole time, not just with those three temptations at the end).

There’s no indication in Scripture that Jesus knew how long He’d be out there. He may very well have known only that His own Father placed Him into this wilderness, and that He would simply have to survive spiritually until it was over. He would have known that eventually, in God’s perfect timing, the attacks would stop. All He had to do—though it was huge—was hold out until then.

And He did. Eventually, the end came. Scripture tells us that Satan left Him, and God sent angels to minister to Him.

We don’t know exactly what the angels did. I imagine they comforted and reassured Jesus. Maybe they even brought Him some food. The point is that God didn’t just send the devil away and then send Jesus back out into the countryside, spiritually and physically weary, to pick up where He left off.

From far before the wilderness time began—from eternity past, even—the Father had planned for it to take place. But more than that, He had also planned for the restoration that would take place afterwards.

You may be in the midst of a spiritual wilderness right now (or if not now, you may find yourself in one in the future). It’s hard. It’s painful. It’s lonely. But God has made spiritual provision for you during this time, just as He did for Jesus. He knows just what to do to bring you through. And not only that…but the angels are coming.

You see, just as God knew from eternity past that your wilderness time would come, so He also planned from eternity past not only to walk with you through it, but to strengthen and comfort you in special measure when it is over.

Satan may be after you now. Life’s circumstances may be after you now. You may be tired, scared, hungry, and lonely. But the end is coming. And so are the angels.

Hold on, weary mom.

Hold out for the angels.

Matthew 4:11—Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold , angels came and ministered unto him. (KJV)

It’s Not About the Bikes

bicycleThis past July, my husband’s bike and Ellie’s bike were stolen off our front porch. In broad daylight. While there was a car in the driveway, and the babysitter was inside with the kids.

I found out by text while I was at the Philadelphia Christian Writer’s Conference, for which I was serving on faculty. The thefts hadn’t even been discovered until my husband got home from work and realized the bikes were no longer on the porch. He called the police, made a report, and then texted me.

I was angry. It was bad enough that they (whoever “they” were) had stolen my husband’s bike, but to steal from my child? Now I was really angry.

Fortunately for me, I was sitting at a table eating dinner with several other faculty when the text came in. These faculty were not only experts in their particular niches, but also men and women of prayer. One precious friend prayed out loud, as all of us bowed our heads, for the bikes to be returned and for God to receive the glory.

To make a long story short, God granted our request. A police officer friend on patrol found the bikes within a couple of days. Along with ours, he found two others that had been stolen from other families, and he had a wrecker come take all four bikes to the police pound. After the investigation was completed, the detective told us she had taken the “hold” off our bikes, and we could go get them. The only problem was that when we called the pound to find out the procedure for recovering our bikes, we were told that we would have to pay $33.75 for each bike (they were dividing the cost of the wrecker among the four bikes that were recovered).

I don’t understand this policy. It seems to me that the family of the teenager who stole the bikes should have to pay the fee. It doesn’t seem fair to me that I should have to pay to get my stolen property back.

And that’s the point. It’s not fair. But it’s also not all about the bikes.

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I realized this one day when I had been complaining on Facebook about having to pay the fee. As I was sitting here at the computer, a private message from a sweet friend popped up. “You know, Meg,” the message went (I’m paraphrasing), “I really hesitate to try to teach anyone a spiritual lesson. I don’t want to come across as being superior. But there’s a lesson to be learned here.” She then proceeded to gently explain what God had shown her through my situation.

That’s what I want to share with you: that the lesson to be learned here is not about the bikes. The lesson is about God, His infinite holiness, and His infinite love.

Humanity is God’s creation. You and I belong to Him. Yet Satan slipped into that first Garden and “stole” us, in a manner of speaking, into His kingdom. We were still God’s creations, but now we inhabited the kingdom of darkness. And to get us back into His kingdom, God had to pay a price.

That’s why God sent Jesus to this earth, to buy us back. You read that right—God was willing to pay the price to buy back what was already His.

I, frankly, am not willing to pay the price to get my bikes back. I’m still trying to work out a way that I won’t have to do that. But God was willing to pay to get His property back. He was willing to make a payment He never should have had to make. And He didn’t just shell out $33.75 x 2, either.

He gave His own life.

And instead of trying to get out of the situation, as I am doing, He came right down into it.

My bikes didn’t willingly go off on their own. But you and I willingly departed from God, sinning against Him of our own volition. Yet He bought us back anyway. Even though we didn’t deserve it.

I don’t know whether or not I’ll ultimately have to pay to get my bikes back. I hope not, but I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that I will never forget the lesson my friend pointed out to me: God was willing to buy me back, even when I didn’t deserve it, and even at the cost of His own life.

This really isn’t all about the bikes. It’s about far more.

Colossians 1:13—He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son.

1 Peter 2:9—But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

You Are Not an Armadillo

armadilloOnly in Texas (or maybe a few other places) would I have had a recent conversation with Lindsey that went something like this:

Lindsey (running in from playing outside): “Mom! There’s an armadillo in the neighbors’ backyard!”

Me: “Um…okay.”

Lindsey: “It’s scared, and it can’t get out!”

Me (wondering how one can tell if an armadillo is scared): “It’ll probably get out the same way it came in.”

Lindsey: “But what if it can’t find the way out? It might be terrified!”

I told Lindsey that if she wanted to, she could keep watching it through the fence, and she’d probably see it find its way out soon enough. Lindsey went back outside.

A few minutes later, both Lindsey and Jessica came inside. Lindsey told me that she had dug a hole under our fence so that the armadillo could find its way into our backyard. I wasn’t all too sure I wanted an armadillo roaming my backyard, but I was touched by Lindsey’s obvious concern for the armadillo and her kindness toward one of God’s creatures.

Me: “That was very kind of you to dig a hole and show the armadillo the way out.”

Jessica: “And while Lindsey was digging the hole, the armadillo came up and sniffed me. And then he realized, ‘Hey! You’re not an armadillo!’” (Lindsey later explained that the armadillo had gotten confused and thought maybe Jessica was an armadillo because she was down on all fours.)

The girls said that after Lindsey dug the hole, they backed away and went out of the yard, leaving the gate open so the armadillo could see a clear way out. The rest of the evening, Lindsey kept her distance from the armadillo so it wouldn’t get spooked, but she kept watch over the backyard. At one point, she saw the armadillo in our yard, and she was excited that it had made it out of the neighbors’ yard. The next time she looked, the armadillo was gone, and she was satisfied. She had rescued it and helped it make it to safety.

You know, armadillos aren’t very pretty. Actually, they’re ugly. And they don’t really perform any useful function. So there was no real reason for Lindsey to care like she did except that she saw a creature in distress, and her heart was moved to help it.

Which reminds me of a beautiful Bible passage. It’s found in the 10th chapter of the Gospel of Matthew, where Jesus is sending His disciples out to preach the good news. Before they go, He gives them instructions. “Don’t be afraid,” He says. And then He comes to the beautiful part: “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

In other words, He’s telling them, “God will take care of you. After all, He takes care of the sparrows, and you’re much more valuable.”

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You’re more valuable than armadillos, too. And if God takes care of armadillos—which, in this case, He did through moving kind-hearted Lindsey to help one escape—then He will certainly take care of you.

In this case, the armadillo’s need was for a way out. That might be your need, too—a way out of temptation or a difficult situation. Or maybe your need is for something else—financial relief, wisdom, or even a friend. Whatever your need, God knows what it is, and He has plans to meet your need. It would be an insult to God’s character to suggest that Lindsey had more compassion on that armadillo than God has on you.

Your need may not have been met yet. But just as Lindsey made escape possible before the armadillo actually walked through the fence and then the gate, so God is arranging to meet your need even before you can see or make use of His provision.

One day, you will walk through the gate into His provision. Until then, remember that He is at work, orchestrating all things to come together at their proper time for you.

So keep checking the fence, and when you find a way under, look for the gate.

Then walk through it.

Matthew 10:29-31—Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Doing What You’re Good At

Pinterest cakeI don’t spend much time on Pinterest (as in, none). One reason is that Facebook already sucks up enough of my time; another reason is that I know myself well enough to know that rarely (if ever) would I actually carry out any of the wonderfully elaborate ideas I found there.

This is partly because I’m not gifted in terms of making perfect-decorated birthday cakes or elaborate entryways, and I don’t need another project that probably isn’t going to turn out like I want it to. It’s also partly because I prefer to do things simply (I’m just not a detail person).

If Pinterest is your thing, fine. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s just not for me—which is also fine. It’s reasonable not to want to spend my time attempting things I’m not good at or not interested in.

What’s not fine, however, is if I fail to do the things I am good at and to make the best use of my abilities in those areas.

I may not be a Pinterest kind of gal, but I’m great at other things. You have things you’re great at, too. And God’s intention for both of us is that we use the abilities He’s given us to build up those we’re meant to serve.

There are several passages in Scripture that talk about how God has given each of us the gifts He chose for us. We’ve all received something, and God means for us to use it.

In the parable of the talents (see Matt. 25:14-30), a rich man going on a journey entrusts varying amounts of his money to each of three servants. Upon the rich man’s return, the man finds that the first two servants had used his money to make more money, and he is pleased. But the third servant had done nothing with his talent, instead hiding it in the ground and making no use of it whatsoever. This time, the master is not pleased at all.

What are the gifts and abilities God has given you? And what are you doing with them to benefit those around you, starting with your husband (if you’re married) and your children?

Maybe your talent is cooking. Are you purposely using it to benefit your family? I know you put food on the table when it’s mealtime. But have you thought of your cooking ability as a gift from God and asked Him to show you how you can offer the results of it to your family as a gift?

Maybe you can play the piano. Do you fill your home with music? Do you teach your kids to play (if they’re interested)? Do you make it a point to get your practice and playing-for-fun time in so that your family can be blessed by hearing you?

Or perhaps your talent is organizing things, or being patient, or thinking of fun things for your family to do, or reading stories out loud with funny or interesting character voices. Are you using your talent to bless your family?

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Sometimes, we don’t use our talents because we don’t realize we have them. If you’re not sure what your talents are, there are many ways you can find out. You can ask people who know you well and would be honest with you; you can take a spiritual gifts inventory; you can spend some time thinking about what you really enjoy doing; you can pray and ask God to show you. Whatever the way you go about it, if you doubt that you have talents, or think you probably do but don’t know what they are, find out. Make it a point to discover the special gifts and abilities God has put within you so that you can bless your family with them.

Other times, we don’t use our talents because we think they’re not much of a talent. We compare ourselves to others who have more “obvious” talents, such as the mom who can sing beautiful solos in church, and we conclude, “Well, my talent is really no big deal compared to that.” We couldn’t be more wrong! God doesn’t give gifts or talents that are junk. He gives them because they are special to Him, and He wants you to use them in the work of His kingdom. Just because someone else’s talent is more visible than yours, or just because your talent may have been belittled in the past, doesn’t mean that your talents are worthless. They aren’t! Would God give you only the abilities to do worthless things for His kingdom? Hardly!

Finally, sometimes we don’t use our talents because we’re either worn out or just plain lazy. We lack the “oomph” to do something about our talents. I hope you’re not letting your talents lie dormant just because you’re lazy (though, to be honest, we all have moments of laziness). If so, you’re doing a grave disservice to God and His kingdom, of which your family is a part. You’re depriving them of gifts God wants them to have. If laziness is the issue, repent! Ask God to forgive you and help you get up off the couch or off of Facebook and do something with your talents.

If being worn out or overwhelmed is the problem, believe me, I understand. There are times when it’s sheer craziness and exhaustion raising kids. When you’ve been up all night with a sick kid who keeps throwing up, you’re probably not going to have the energy to prepare a gourmet feast the next day. That’s okay. God understands that you can’t operate at peak efficiency all the time. After all, you are living in a human body with a human mind and spirit that all have limitations. But even in the midst of the chaos and hard work, He will make a way for you to use your gifts and talents for the benefit of others, because that is part of His plan for you. And He knows exactly how to tell you to do it without overburdening you.

So whatever your gift is—birthday parties, creative fun, teaching, compassion, service—use it. Don’t think you don’t have any talents, and once you know what they are, don’t let them lie dormant. Use them for the benefit of your family and God’s kingdom.

They’re waiting to be blessed by you.

Romans 12:6a—Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them. (ESV; emphasis added)

When You Really Need to See God

Spirit AirlinesOnly one flight away from reaching home after a week-long absence, I was waiting at the airport for my plane to arrive at the gate. I don’t mind waiting in airports; being by myself gives me a chance to, well, be by myself. I can read or surf the web for a little while without worrying about being interrupted.

But I knew my children were eager for me to be home. They had called me almost every evening during my absence, and that day (as my husband told me through text messaging) they were getting anxious to have me back. So when my plane pulled up to the gate, I took a picture of it, and I texted it to my husband so he could show it to the kids and tell them Mommy’s plane was almost ready to bring me home.

Megan selfieI expected to receive a text back from him that said something like, “Yay! They can’t wait!” But the text I got instead said, “They want to see a picture of YOU. Take a selfie.” So I managed to take a selfie that didn’t make me look like I was looking into a fun-house mirror (it’s always awkward to get the right angle), and I sent it.

I thought it was sweet that they wanted to see me, not just my plane. I understood why. When you miss somebody, you want to see the person herself, not just a picture of a metal tube with wings. When you long for someone, you want her presence, not just a shot of the vehicle that will bring her to you.

It’s the same way with God—only sometimes, we don’t realize it. Here’s what I mean: what we really need, spiritually speaking, is God’s presence. We need God Himself. The problem is that we sometimes think that what we really need are the benefits He provides—and His presence, while a nice add-on, isn’t strictly necessary.

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We couldn’t be more wrong. Yes, we need God’s strength, comfort, wisdom, and so on. But they are not commodities God dispenses apart from His presence. They only come to us when we are in His presence.

When you ask God for strength, and He gives it to you, it’s because God has shown up in your situation to help you handle it. When you weep for His comfort and receive it, it’s because God Himself is there, putting His arms around you. When you need wisdom to know what to do in a particular situation, and suddenly it’s there, that’s because God Himself is nearby, sharing His thoughts with you.

Never forget that God is a very personal, intimate God who longs for a deep relationship with you. How it must grieve Him when you—or I—desperately beseech Him for things He can do for us, never realizing that what we really need is He Himself. That’s what Jesus meant when He told His followers to seek God first, and they would not only have Him, but they would have everything else they needed.

Not only that, but God won’t just sort of mail His responses to you while He sits up in heaven somewhere, distant. He’s going to deliver them to you personally, which works out great, because what you really want is not merely the gift. You want God to show up, and that’s what He’s promised to do.

Don’t set your sights so low as to ask merely for the gift when you could have the Giver, too.

Matthew 6:33—But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (ESV)

Jeremiah 29:13-14a—You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD.

Trusting in the Right Things

Jessi in life jacketIt hasn’t been a very hot summer in our part of Texas this year. We’ve only had twelve days where the temperature has reached or exceeded one hundred degrees, as opposed to twice that many days (or more!). Nonetheless, there have been enough hot days that the kids and I have gotten to go to the water park at our local YMCA several times.

The kids love the water park, especially Jessica and Lindsey. (Ellie and Kenny prefer playing inside in the Youth Zone, where they can play video games for a couple hours; Timmy stays in the nursery.) I actually love it, too. It’s fun to watch Lindsey perform swimming feats for me or to take Jessica into the deep end and play with her there.

When we go into the deep end, Jessica wears a life jacket. That way, she can do some “swimming” on her own (with me right next to her) and not be afraid she’ll sink. She wasn’t always so confident, though.

At first, even with a life jacket, Jessica wouldn’t allow me to take my hands off of her. I explained to her multiple times that with the life jacket on and Mommy right next to her, it was impossible for her to drown.

Jessica tried to have courage. “Let go,” she would say, and so I’d release her from my arms. Almost immediately, she would panic and reach for me again, relaxing only when she felt my arms around her.

She knew in her head that the life jacket would keep her afloat, but she still didn’t really trust it.

We’re like that with God, too, sometimes, aren’t we? We know in our heads that He’ll take care of us, but we still don’t really trust Him. Even though we have God within us, just as Jessica had the life jacket all around her, when we panic, we still reach for other things to provide the reassurance and security that we crave.

We don’t trust Him to be enough.

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It’s not that there’s anything wrong with receiving comfort from friends and family when we’re in need. The problem comes in when we rely more on them than we do on God. When we trust people to do a better job of sustaining us in our troubles than God will.

The only thing is that in order to learn to rely on God, you have to practice. Just as Jessica had to keep practicing with the help of the life jacket alone, so we need to keep practicing relying on God so that we can learn by experience that He will, indeed, keep us afloat. That’s why so many people don’t have a soul-deep trust in God: they’ve never cast themselves completely upon Him. They’ve never given Him the chance to prove that He can—and will!—bear them up. They’ve left that job primarily to other people, things, or situations. Then, when their troubles pass, their relationship with God isn’t much deeper than it was before, because He hasn’t done much for them (or so they think).

Trusting can be scary—at first. It’s not easy to trust something or someone new. But when you learn that that person or thing really is trustworthy, it’s not scary at all.

I told you earlier that Jessica no longer has a fear of letting go of me, as long as she is wearing the life jacket. That’s because she’s had enough experience with it that she trusts it. Her believe that it would support her became not just something she assented to in her head because Mommy said so, but something she has lived.

Are you living with God supporting you today? Am I? Or are we relying more on other people or things? Our trust in God will never grow as long as we look primarily to other things to comfort or sustain us.

The only way to grow our trust in God is to practice trusting Him. That means letting Him bear more of the “weight” of our troubles and watching Him handle it well.

Are you willing to cast yourself completely upon Him, spiritually speaking, and let Him support you? I don’t know the details of your situation, but I do know God, so I can guarantee you this: You won’t be disappointed.

Psalm 91:4—He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. (ESV)

Protecting Your Weak Areas

My 2-year-old son Timmy loves to climb. Something’s up too high for him to reach? No problem! He’ll simply pull a stepstool or dining room chair over to whatever he wants to reach and climb up to it. He also climbs up on the bathroom vanity without using a stool (he has incredible upper body strength) so that he can stand on it and reach into the medicine cabinet for his toothbrush and Elmo toothpaste. And he loves to climb onto the top of the plastic playhouse we have in the yard.

The only thing is, you can’t help him when he’s climbing. “I do it myself!” he shouts if you try to help him. (In fact, that’s one of my discipline techniques with him. I say, “Timmy, you better do such-and-such right now, or…Mommy’s going to help you!”)

The other day, I was sitting at the computer, and Timmy wanted onto my lap. He climbed over the arm of the chair and onto my lap, wedging himself between me and the keyboard. He was content there for awhile, and then, he wanted to get down. All by himself, of course.

But as he got down, he stumbled, and the sharp edge of the keyboard tray caught him in the belly. As his weight carried him downward to the floor, the tray left him with a three-inch-long, red scrape.

Poor Timmy. He cried, of course, and I comforted him. I felt sorry for him, getting wounded in such a tender area.

And the thought came to me that this is exactly how Satan approaches us to tempt us: at our most tender area. In other words, where we’re weakest.

Satan doesn’t waste his time trying to tempt me to rob a bank. I don’t have any desire to do that, and that particular temptation would be easy for me to resist. Neither does Satan spend any time trying to tempt me to steal a car. I don’t want to steal a car, and it’s not something I’m likely to ever do. I’m strong in these two areas.

On the other hand, Satan knows very well that I’m much weaker in other areas, and that’s where he focuses his time. I’m much more likely to take the bait when the temptation involves such things as being impatient with my children, being lazy with housework, or being selfish.

We all have weak areas, and we all have strong areas. Maybe you’re not at all likely to murder someone, or embezzle from your company, or sell drugs to schoolchildren. Oh, but Satan knows that you are likely—perhaps even very likely—to disrespect your husband, purposely disobey traffic laws, or gossip. And he’s going to spend his time trying to hit you in those areas, where he can see more results for his work.

You and I are in a battle. It’s a spiritual battle. Make no mistake about it: the forces of evil are very real and are battling for our obedience. While it’s true that once we become Christians, evil can no longer have our souls, it’s also true that Satan’s mission is to utterly destroy us and our Christian witness.

Yet we don’t protect ourselves as we should.

Chain mail armorWe’ve all seen pictures—whether on television or in the newspapers—of SWAT teams ready for action. They carry weapons and protective gear so they can successfully carry out their mission. Their body armor is concentrated on a human being’s most vulnerable areas—the head and the chest.

Likewise, you and I need to fortify the areas in which we are spiritually vulnerable. Ephesians 6 cautions us in this regard and then gives us a list of all the ways we can do this. Do you know what these ways are? Are you regularly putting them into practice in your life?

If not, you’re leaving yourself spiritually unprotected and vulnerable to the enemy’s attack.

The good news is that God has provided armor that is sufficient to protect you from the devils schemes against you. This armor is free of charge—but it’s not automatic. You don’t find yourself automatically clothed with this armor (except salvation) just because you are a Christian. You must decide to put it on, and then take action.

Will you do it?
John 10:10—“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (ESV)

Ephesians 6:11-13— Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. (ESV)

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