My children are often great playmates. They have their squabbles sometimes, but usually, they play well together. Sometimes, I can even leave them in the front part of the house playing while I get work accomplished in another part of the house.
It was on one such day that I heard the kids trying to decide what to play. Lindsey, who loves hide-and-seek, was trying to convince Ellie to join her. “Count, Ellie,” Lindsey urged.
“No, we have to catch Kenny,” Ellie answered. (The rooms in part of our house form a circle, and the kids enjoy chasing each other around and around.)
“Come on, count, Ellie. We’re playing hide-and-seek,” Lindsey insisted.
“No,” Ellie said, “We’re playing ‘Catch Kenny’.”
Ellie and Lindsey’s dilemma was simple. They had to agree on what to play. Until then, they wouldn’t be able to play together at all.
We adults face the same problem, don’t we? We know that we want to work together, but we can’t agree on how to get there. All we know is that we don’t want to do it the way the other person suggested.
In Ellie and Lindsey’s case, if they had been unable to reach an agreement, they could have gone their separate ways, and it wouldn’t really have mattered all that much. In the adult world, the consequences of failing to work together are sometimes much more serious.
Take, for example, a married couple. The husband and wife both want a good marriage, but they can’t agree on who should do what in order to make that come about. They argue, each trying to convince the other to do things his or her way. But if they fail to reach an agreement and go their separate ways, the consequences are disaster for them and their children.
Or what about trying to run a church? One group wants to use some of the revenue to build a new facility. Another group wants to use that same money for outreach. Who’s right? Perhaps both. Both of them have the same goal of reaching unbelievers for Jesus. Nonetheless, if the groups can’t agree, there will be consequences. At the very least, the money will sit in the bank accomplishing nothing. At the worst, people will turn against one another and wound each other, and the cause of Christ will be made to look petty.
It takes generosity, unselfishness, and humility to be able to work together well. Humility isn’t easy for most of us. We’d much rather convince people to our way of thinking than go over to theirs. So we continue to argue about what we’re supposed to be doing, and no one is willing to compromise.
In Ellie and Lindsey’s case, they were able to reach a resolution before there were any hurt feelings on either side. Lindsey agreed to play what Ellie wanted her to play, and the problem was solved. I suggest that we as adults learn from the way Lindsey handled the situation. She was willing to concede so that she and her sister could play together. Being together with her sister was more important to her than allowing the disagreement to continue. Getting her way didn’t matter. What mattered to her was reaching the goal of playing together.
If only we adults could be like that more often. So many of our petty squabbles could easily be resolved if one of us would just be willing to do things the other person’s way. What’s more important to us—having things the way we want them, or reaching the goal together?
Maybe there’s some area in which you’ve been arguing with someone about the way to accomplish something. Is it possible that you need to let the other person have his or her way? Ask God to show you what you need to do in order to achieve the greater good of reaching the goal together with that other person. Ask Him to produce the fruits of His Spirit in you as you handle the situation. You’ll find that handling it His way leads to far greater satisfaction than getting what you want but not acting in love.
Galatians 5:22-23—But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.