On October 13, our son Kenny turned ten.
Somehow, he’s now in the double-digits stage of life, despite the fact that it seems like I gave birth to him only last week. I don’t know where the time has gone, but it must have gone somewhere. Because now, instead of being a helpless baby I can easily cuddle in one arm, Kenny is tall and independent. He’s competent and smart. He’s sweet. He’s compassionate.
He’s…ten.
Watching and helping Kenny grow has been an incredible adventure. It hasn’t always been easy, though. From the beginning, Kenny has had some developmental delays as well as other issues that prevented his growing on the steadily upward trajectory I’d always assumed my children would follow.
For us, it was a big deal when Kenny learned to walk—a really big deal. We were so excited when he finally—in the church nursery—walked 11 steps in a row. When he learned to hold a conversation (which he’s still working on), we rejoiced. When he conquered his fear of “buttons, snaps, and zippers” so that he could wear clothing with those items, we congratulated him and told him what a big, brave boy he was.
Each achievement Kenny has made, each milestone he has accomplished on his journey to being the awesome ten-year-old kid he is today, we have applauded—sometimes literally. Not once did we ever say, “That’s no big deal. Everybody should be able to do that.”
We certainly didn’t say, “What’s the matter with you?” and turn away in disgust.
Yet too often, you and I think that that’s the way God reacts to us.
Somehow, we’ve gotten this idea in our heads that God is a little (or a lot) disgusted with us. Or at the very least, unimpressed. We figure that if we want Him to be truly impressed with us, we’d have to be a lot more holy, or skilled, or (you fill in the blank) than we are right now.
The reality, however, is that God is thrilled with us. No, He doesn’t love our sin. But He loves us, and He doesn’t wait until we’re perfectly mature to start loving. Each baby step we make on the road toward spiritual maturity delights Him. He rejoices with us in our accomplishments, and He applauds them.
How do I know? Because any good thing we can do, any ability we have to treat our children the right way, comes from being made in God’s image. If we have the desire to love our children so deeply that we accept them just as they are, and to applaud each of their accomplishments, it’s because we’re in some measure doing what is in God’s character to do. He, after all, is the ultimate Parent.
What does this mean for us? It means we need to consider how far we’ve come in our own lives—and to remember that God has been there every step of the way, cheering us on. Maybe sometimes, our development has been delayed. Even then, God was with us, rejoicing in each accomplishment that may have been small for others but was a big deal for us.
What are you working on now in your life? What needs improvement? God doesn’t condemn you for needing to improve. Instead, He walks with you as you wrestle with whatever it is, and He cheers you on.
It’s been a little more than ten years since I gave birth to Kenny. In those ten years, he’s grown incredibly, and I’ve been privileged to be part of his life and growth.
In those same ten years, I’ve grown, too. Actually, I’ve been growing for 43 years, and God has been with me every step of the way—my biggest fan and biggest encourager, the One who loves me most.
He’s with you, too, in the same way—watching you grow, cheering for you, and always, always loving you.
Never forget that.
Psalm 103:13-14—As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. (ESV)