God’s Purpose for You

What It Takes to Be a Good Mom

Megan Breedlove November 28, 2016 No Comments

In high school and college, I auditioned for and was accepted into various choirs. I have a good voice, though there are plenty of people whose voices are better than mine. But one area in which I excel is my ability to hear when a singer is on pitch.

Which, of course, means that I also know when someone isn’t on pitch. 10-year-old Lindsey is the one of my children who seems to have inherited my ability to detect tiny variations from what the pitch should be. So when she and I were watching a televised singer recently, we spent the first couple minutes cringing at almost every note.

“I guess you don’t have to be a good singer to be famous,” Lindsey said, after we had hit the ‘mute’ button. “You just have to be hot.”

She was right, in a way. The most famous singers are not always the best singers. In other words, you don’t always have to be good at your job to be successful.

Which got me to thinking: What does it take to be a successful mom? Does it require perfection? Can you be a “good mom” while still having faults that others might notice?

Let’s be real for a moment. You (if you’re like most moms) and I are experts at identifying our real or perceived faults and feeling guilty for them. We hesitate to call ourselves “good moms” because we’re all too aware of the things we do wrong daily, and sometimes minute-by-minute. If someone were to ask us if we’re good moms, we would probably reply something like, “Well…I hope so.”

My fellow sister in Christ and my companion on this amazing, crazy journey called motherhood, let me tell you something: God does not want us to live with the discouragement and uncertainty of wondering whether or not we’re good moms. He’s told us exactly what it takes to be “good.”

Hear His words: “He has told you, O [mom], what [constitutes] good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (See Micah 6:8.)

Go back and read those words again, maybe even more than once. Let them soak into your soul. Hear what He’s saying, and what He’s not saying.

“Do what is right. Love kindness. Walk humbly with Me.”

Let’s look at those one by one.

“Do what is right.” In other words, like we tell our children, “Behave yourself.” Simple. (Not always easy, but always simple.)

“Love kindness.” Apparently, the word there is the Hebrew word hesed. This word has to do with loving people unconditionally, no matter what they do. Sound like something we need to practice every day with our children?

“Walk humbly with your God.” We all know what this means. We know when a child is humble towards us and when he or she isn’t. Thus (humble) we are to be toward God.

Now that we’ve looked at those, let me paraphrase Micah 6:8—“He has told you, O mom, what it takes to be a good mom. All you have to do is behave yourself, love your kids no matter what, and make sure your heart is submissive toward God.”

That’s it. Just those three things. No mention of hand-sewn anything, good looks, creativity, a spotless house, or any of the myriad other things we make ourselves feel guilty for not accomplishing. It’s fine to excel at these things, but none of them is what makes you a good mom.

True, God may direct us to do these things as part of His plan for us and our family, but they are not what makes us good moms. Submission to His will is part of what makes us good moms.

So the next time you’re wondering if you’re any good at this mom thing, don’t look at any of your abilities. Look instead at your heart.

Are you behaving yourself? Do you love your children unconditionally and forever? Is your heart humble toward God?

If so, you’re good. You’re a good mom. Rest in that.

Micah 6:8—He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God? (NASB)

How Parenting is Like a Roller Coaster, and How God Can Help You Through It

Megan Breedlove June 13, 2016 No Comments

(Guest post dictated by Kenny Breedlove, age 11.)

Hey, Mom, I have an idea for your devotional. You could write about how parenting is like a roller coaster. It has ups and downs, and it sometimes has fast and slow moments. Like it’s fast when kids grow up too fast. It’s slow when you have a hard time being a parent. Down is when kids are being bad and you have to punish them. Ups is when you first get your kids, and bonding with your kids and having fun moments with them. Sometimes, you can be scared on a roller coaster, and you can be scared at moments in your parenting life. Like you might be scared or worried when you’re looking for part-time jobs to raise money for your kids. And you’re scared when it’s your first time parenting and you don’t know what to do, or finding the right babysitter when you’re gone and it’s just your kids.

God sometimes plans crazy lives similar to roller coasters, or sometimes just smooth, normal lives like a running river. And if you’re ever scared or afraid, you can look up to Him, and He will help you with your parenting. After all, He planned the life, and He knows everything.

God can also help you know how to teach your kids to worship Him when they’re older, if you don’t know how. Also, if you have a crazy life similar to a roller coaster, God can help you go through it all calm and smooth.

Sometimes, roller coasters go all the way upside down, like your life suddenly changes once you figure out you’re pregnant and you become a parent. Your life is upside down, and you’ve got more to take care of, more to worry about, and a kid or kids to care for.

Sometimes, you have to buy tickets for a roller coaster to get on and have fun, as you would have to buy equipment and things your babies would like for them to have fun.

Sometimes, you have to wait in line to even get the tickets for a roller coaster, like you sometimes have to wait in line to get tickets for your kids’ favorite puppet show or favorite movie.

Almost always, you have to get tickets for a roller coaster and decide how many people get on and who gets to get on. Like in parenting, to get kids, you would have to find a husband, get married, afford to host a baby shower, and afford the bills of a hospital to produce the babies. If you’re a woman, that is.

So moms and future moms out there, if you are having trouble parenting, you can either read this a couple more times, or look up to God, and maybe He’ll have some answers for you. Good luck with your life.

When You Need to Do Your Part

Megan Breedlove May 2, 2016 No Comments

In this story, I’m going to call them Child A and Child B, because I don’t want to embarrass Child A. But I want to share the story with you (paraphrased, mind you) because I have the sneaking suspicion that, if you have any school-age children, a scenario like this just may have played itself out in your home.

Child A: “Mom, my schoolwork is so boring. I hate it. I’ve already worked on it for a little while. Can’t I take a break?”

Me: “Yes, but you know when it has to be done. If you don’t finish it, you won’t be able to go to Great Wolf Lodge with me and your other siblings.”

Child A: “But Mom, I tried. I really did. And it was just so boring. And schoolwork is always boring.” (Begins to cry.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but you had enough time to do it, if you had gotten started when I first told you to. If you don’t get it completed, you know the consequences.”

Child A (with more tears): “But can’t you just help me? What if I don’t get it done?”

Child B: “Actually, you could be doing it right now instead of sitting here complaining.”

Score 1 for Child B, by the way. And, for those of you who might be wondering, Child A did eventually finish his/her schoolwork with plenty of time to spare (and he/she even told me it wasn’t as bad as anticipated!). But the point is…well, what Child B said.

Sometimes, instead of complaining about a problem, we just have to buck up and do something about it.

As Christians, you and I believe that God will protect us, take care of us, and a whole host of other wonderful things. And that’s true. He will. But too often, instead of taking action to make things better for ourselves, we sit around waiting for God to visit deliverance upon us.

Don’t get me wrong—there are absolutely times we need to wait on God’s timing. But there are also times we need to take action and not just sit around waiting to be rescued.

Take, for example, that day when Moses and the Israelites stood at the shore of the Red Sea, having fled Egypt. Pharoah’s army was behind them; death by drowning was in front of them. Or so they thought. So everybody stopped right there, and Moses said, “Don’t worry! Just stand right here. God will rescue us. You just wait” (my paraphrase).

You would think God would praise Moses for his trust, right? But instead, He said (and this is a direct quote), “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.” In other words, He said, “Why are you just standing there? Get going!”

But wait just a minute. That was the Red Sea in front of them. They could have drowned. Didn’t they do the right thing by waiting on God?

Apparently not. Maybe (and this is speculation on my part) God wanted them to trust Him so implicitly that they just waded into the Sea and watched the water evaporate. I don’t know. But whatever God had intended, having them stand there and wait for a divine rescue was not it.

I’m not suggesting that any of us should take action to solve a major dilemma without consulting God, or that we should just run out willy-nilly and make things happen on our own. Not at all. What I’m saying is that we need to be aware of the possibility that God might want us to do something to participate in our own deliverance.

Maybe He wants us to seek counseling and work on our issues, instead of complaining but taking no action.

Maybe He wants us to go back to school instead of merely grumbling that our job doesn’t pay much.

Maybe He wants us to learn how to better discipline our kids instead of spending so much time complaining about their behavior.

I can’t tell you exactly what God wants you to do in your situation, or if He does, in fact, want you to persevere through a time of waiting. But I can tell you that when you face the Red Sea, you (and I) need to be asking Him whether we should wait, or take action, or some combination of both.

Let’s not rush off like loose cannons and try to solve our own problems. But let’s also not presume upon God by standing by passively and waiting for Him to do all the work.

God can, and will, do His part. Always. But let’s make sure we ask Him if we need to be doing our part, too.

(See Exodus 14 for the story referenced in several places above.)

Waffles and Clowns

Megan Breedlove February 15, 2016 No Comments

My son Timmy’s 4^th birthday is fast approaching, and he can’t wait. If I had a dollar for every time he’s asked, “Is it my birthday yet?” I’d have a lot of money. Recently, my daughter Jessica turned 8, and Timmy was upset. “Why isn’t it my birthday yet?” he asked. Then, yesterday, when I was getting a gift bag out of the hall closet to put my godson’s birthday present in, Timmy saw the back and suggested, “Let’s get my birthday started!”

But my favorite comment of all was when he said, “I’m going to tell you what I want for my party. I want a helicopter, and I will want some of my own clowns, please.”

Later, as we were looking at Paw Patrol cakes online so he could choose one for me to make for him, he abruptly changed the theme of his party to construction vehicles. And the next day, he told me he wanted waffles for his party.

Apparently, this is supposed to be a party with construction-themed paper goods for decorations, with clowns for entertainment, and with waffles for refreshments.

It’s a theme I never would have thought of.

But you know what? It works for Timmy. Timmy doesn’t care that clowns and waffles have nothing to do with each other, much less with bulldozers. All he knows is that those three things are what he wants at his party.

Clowns. Waffles. Bulldozers.

I think there’s a lesson to be learned here. And I think it’s one we all need to take to heart.

Timmy is a little boy who likes lots of different things. He’s not afraid to be himself and make choices that reflect the unique person God created him to be.

Wouldn’t it be beautiful if you and I could act the same way?

Too often, we spend our lives trying to censor the things that make us unique. We squelch the likes and dislikes that make us different from our neighbor/best friend/mom. We bury our hopes and dreams because they don’t match up with what we’re “supposed” to want. We spend our lives trying to fit into the mold that produced someone we admire (and who, we’re certain, does things much better than we do).

In the process, we lose the unique, fearfully and wonderfully made individual that God created us to be.

Granted, there is one very important way in which we’re all supposed to be the same: We’re all meant to be like Jesus. Being like Jesus is what’s important. It’s irrelevant if we’re like a certain person at church, or our sister, or some other woman we know. As long as we’re walking in God’s ways (as revealed in Scripture), we’re free to be whoever He made us to be.

Do you like cats? Fine. Do you hate carbonated beverages? Fine. Do you dislike cooking or love jogging or hate serving on committees or love painting landscapes? Fine, fine, fine, fine.

God made you to be you. He didn’t intend you to be a cookie cutter version of anyone else; He intends for you to be who you are meant to be, because if you live into His design for you, you will reflect His glory in a way that nobody else on this earth will reflect Him.

If you want waffles and clowns for your birthday, go ahead and have them. And maybe even throw in a bulldozer or two.

I bet God would love that.

Jeremiah 1:5—“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I set you apart.” (emphasis mine) (NIV)

When God Won’t Give You What You Want

Megan Breedlove November 23, 2015 No Comments

“Mommy, can I have a cookie?” Timmy asked.

“No,” I said, “we’re going to eat dinner soon.”

“But I want a cookie!”

“Sorry. It’s almost time for dinner.”

“But I LIKE cookies.”

“After dinner.”

By this point, Timmy was getting distressed. “But how can I eat a cookie if you won’t LET me?” he begged.

The answer, of course, was that he couldn’t. No cookies unless Mommy lets you have one.

I can understand his frustration. After all, I don’t like it when I don’t get what I want, either. Especially if it’s sitting right there in front of my face, looking for all the world like it should be mine.

Just as we sometimes say no to our children, so God sometimes says no to us. When He does, what we wanted—what we thought should be ours—suddenly becomes forbidden fruit.

Spiritual discernment is required to discern what God’s will is. But if I just keep trying to force the issue without ever considering that maybe I’m striving to obtain something God doesn’t want me to have, I won’t know what His will is.

At least Timmy asked me for my answer. Too often, I don’t ask God for His. I just pursue what I want and expect Him to bless it. Oh, God, forgive me!

You see, Timmy understood what you and I don’t always think about: If a parent says no, then it’s no.

But what if it’s something we really want? What then?

Here’s where it comes down to faith. We say in our heads that we believe God knows what’s best for us to have. But do we really believe it?

Apparently not, if we keep begging for “yes” when He’s already said “no,” or if we complain about “no.”

I wonder what difference it would make in your life and in mine if, instead of “fighting [God] for something we don’t really want” we would “take what [God gives] that [we] need.”

If we would accept God’s gracious provision as just that—gracious—and be content.
Philippians 4:12—I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (NIV)