Breaking Easily

My kids like to pick up things from the yard on the way to the minivan. Something that seemed so perfectly ordinary to me that I didn’t even notice it will snag my kids’ attention and become fascinating.

This particular fall day, it was leaves. Ellie had picked up a few she thought were pretty from our front yard. The leaves were pretty dry, and as Ellie looked at them and examined them on our way down the road, the inevitable happened.

“Mommy, my leaf broke,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Why do leaves break?”

“You see all those little lines in the leaves?” I asked. “When the leaves are on the tree, nutrients flow through those little lines and keep the leaf alive. When the leaf falls off the tree, it doesn’t have anything flowing through it, and it dries out.”

“I guess when things are dry, they break easier,” Ellie said.

She was talking about leaves, but she could just as well have been talking about any living thing. Living things depend on nutrients flowing through them to sustain them. This applies to everything from tiny organisms on up to our far-more-complicated, physical bodies.

It applies to the spiritual part of us as well.

Just as we feed our physical bodies to keep them going, so we must feed the spiritual part of ourselves. If we want to live spiritually, we must have nutrients flowing through us. Our spiritual life depends on it.

We know what kinds of foods our bodies need. But what about our spirits? How do we keep them nourished, healthy, and growing?

There are three primary ways.

First, we develop our prayer life. It’s impossible to live and grow spiritually if we don’t spend regular time with the One who created us. Tragically, many of us truly don’t realize how vitally important prayer is. We tend to think of it as an optional activity, something to engage in if we have the time. When we treat prayer as if doing it is great, but not doing it doesn’t really affect us, we are allowing the nutrients to drain slowly from our veins, and we are becoming dry and brittle.

Second, we spend time in God’s Word. This includes time listening to His Word proclaimed, as well as time in it during our personal devotions. How much and what part of the Bible we should read will vary from person to person. But the fact that we must read it applies to everyone. We may think we know what it says well enough that we don’t need to study it much. That’s not true. The Holy Spirit can make Scripture relevant and meaningful to us, gifting us with fresh realizations about any part of it, even a passage we’ve read many times before. God speaks through His Word, and He doesn’t just do so once, the first time we read it. Thinking we don’t need to study the Bible is either a failure to understand its importance, or simple arrogance.

Third, we fellowship with other believers, both in and out of a church setting. Sure, we can have friends who are not Christians. But we need Christian fellowship as well. We need to worship with others who believe and love the Lord as we do; we need to go through life’s experiences with those who share our Christian perspective; and we need both to give and to receive encouragement in our faith, exhortation, and support.

This coming year, make sure you’re not setting yourself up to be someone who is brittle and breaks easily. Make a plan for letting prayer, Bible study, and fellowship flow through you and keep you vitally alive. God will help you figure out how to make it happen. Then, discipline yourself to do what you know you need to do.

When leaves are dry, they break more easily. When they have the right nutrients flowing through them, they are strong.

Which will you plan to be this year?

John 15:5—I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Unlovely

Four years later, I still vividly remember the moment.

At the time, I had two children: Ellie and Kenny. It was bath night, so I was trying to get them into the tub. The process went smoothly with Ellie. But for some reason, Kenny was fighting me about getting ready for his bath.

He was having a fit as I was wrestling him on the floor to get him undressed and into the tub. He was crying, screaming, and resisting. His little legs were kicking. I was getting more and more frustrated.

And for a second there—and this is the part I remember so vividly—I looked down and saw Kenny lying there on the floor, a chubby boy, eyes squeezed shut, sweat beading his forehead and matting his hair, tears trailing down his cheeks, still resisting my efforts to get him undressed. And I saw him as “just” a big, sweaty boy. For an instant, it was like I saw him apart from the love I have for him, and I saw nothing attractive about him as I looked down at him.

It hurts my mother-heart to realize that even for an instant, I could look at my precious son and see him as completely unattractive. But I think God gave me that glimpse of Kenny as a gift.

It was a poignant illustration of two things. First, I must never look at my son apart from the love I have for him, because the alternative is too awful to contemplate. My love should be the lens through which I see him. I may need to be objective about some of his behaviors so that I can train and discipline him properly, but I should never look at him without love coloring my vision.

After all, God always looks at us with love. He is well aware of our sin, but because of our relationship with His Son, He has chosen to look at us as dearly beloved children, instead of as His enemies. Even when we’re lying on the floor having a fit, and the results of our efforts are dampening our hair and leaving trails down our cheeks, He loves us.

He could have sent us all to hell as we all deserved. But instead, He chose to love us. More than that, He sent His Son to earth as a baby, to grow up to die so that we could be reconciled to God despite all the things we have done and continue to do.

It’s a love that’s not based on anything we do or don’t do. It’s based on a choice God made.

That’s the second thing God showed me through this situation. Our love for others, especially our children, must be based on a choice, not on how we feel at the moment. Love is a choice, and there better be more to my love for Kenny than just loving him because of what he does for me. And, praise God, there was more, because I had chosen long ago truly to love my son.

It’s what we all need to do, for each one of our children. We must make the decision to love unconditionally, no matter what the child does or doesn’t do. Then, we take it a step further by showing them that love, no matter what.

God loves you and me all the time, not just when we look good enough. That, my friends, is the gospel. God loves you despite what you’ve done and made a way for you to be reconciled to Him. That’s what Christmas is all about.

It’s not about the presents, or the tree, or even family gatherings. It’s about God looking down on humanity, who was not worthy of His love, and choosing to love us anyway. It’s about how He made a way for us to come back to Him, despite our sin. It’s about how He loved us, even though we are unworthy of His love, and even before we loved Him.

Praise God that He did.

1 John 4:10—This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son.

Glad You’re With Us

Our first Advent activity this year was simple. The kids and I sat at the dining room table, and I asked them whose birthday we celebrate on Christmas. When they responded “Jesus’ birthday”, we talked about how it’s easy to get caught up in all the fun stuff we enjoy about the Christmas season. But the purpose of Advent, I explained to them, is to remember Jesus’ coming. That’s why each day this month, we will do an activity designed to illustrate some aspect of the Christmas story—in other words, some aspect of Jesus’ birth.

Next, we sang the song, “Happy Birthday, Jesus.” I sang it for them first. Ellie knew part of it, and Kenny and Lindsey began catching on quickly. We would learn the song this year, I told them, because it helps to remind us that Christmas is all about Jesus.

Later that evening, I heard Lindsey doing her best to sing the song, in her sweet, three-year-old voice. One line of the song says, “I’m so glad it’s Christmas.” But Lindsey sang it, “I’m so glad you’re with us.”

“No, Lindsey, it’s not ‘I’m so glad you’re with us’,” I heard Ellie say, in all her six-year-old wisdom. “It’s, ‘I’m so glad it’s Christmas’.”

“I’m so glad you’re with us,” Lindsey sang.

I think she has it right.

Two thousand-plus years ago, a baby was born in a stable. There were probably other babies born that day, and certainly, that year. But this baby was special. This baby was not only the son of Mary and Joseph. This baby was the Son of God.

That day, God Himself came down from heaven in the form of a squalling, wrinkly infant, into a stable filled with animals, straw, and stench.

God wasn’t just up there anymore. He was down here.

Yes, God the Son humbled Himself enough to become one of us, at least physically. He Who had made the world now had to have His diaper changed. He Who had existed since before time began now dwelled in time and needed to eat every two hours.

Because of our sin, God would have been completely justified in remaining on His throne and allowing us all to go to hell as we deserved. But He didn’t. He got down from His throne and came to us to show us the way back to Him.

God with us.

The best part of the whole story is that He is still here. If we love Him, His Spirit indwells our hearts.

Now, He’s not only God with us, as if that weren’t far more than we deserve.

Now, He’s God in us.

This Christmas, in the middle of everything else you have to do, take time to stop and remember. Remember that God came to dwell with us, and that now He dwells in us.

Then praise Him for the incredible love, mercy, and kindness He has shown to us.

Remember that He’s not God up there. He’s God down here, and with us, and in us.

Jesus, we’re so glad you’re with us.

Matthew 1:23—The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel—which means, “God with us.”

Helpless

My daughter, Lindsey, is pretty independent. At three and a half, she’s already been able to make her own PB&J sandwiches for months now. She likes to do things on her own, thank you, or at least give it a good, hard try before admitting she needs help.

I love this about her. She’s so very competent, and she can accomplish far more than she would otherwise be able to because of her can-do attitude.

I remember one time, though, when she was about three and a half months old. I heard her crying and went to see what was the matter. Her bice—our term for “pacifier”—had fallen out of her mouth, and she couldn’t figure out how to get it back in. It was obvious that she was trying to reach it, but she couldn’t. She simply didn’t possess the physical skill.

Oh, she possessed the desire, all right. She knew what she wanted and was doing everything in her little baby power to get it. It’s just that her little baby power didn’t amount to enough. She was helpless to accomplish her desire. So she lay there crying, unable to satisfy herself, dependent on someone else to come help her.

In the same way, we need help from God. We, too, are unable to satisfy ourselves. We can try with all our might to reach our goal, but we can’t fulfill our own needs. We may enjoy considerable success in this life and be able to purchase all or most of what we want. But ultimately, we still can’t satisfy ourselves at our deepest level without help.

That’s why God sent Jesus to earth. He knew we needed help. Beginning with Adam and Eve, and continuing with everyone since, the human race had messed ourselves up so badly that we became completely disconnected from ultimate fulfillment, which comes only through relationship with God. Because of our sin, we had cut ourselves off from God, and we were and are completely unable to get back to Him through our own efforts.

We were stumbling around trying to help ourselves and failing, and God would have been completely just in leaving us that way. But He didn’t. In His grace and mercy, He sent His Son Jesus to earth, to be born of a virgin, live a sinless life, and die an undeserved death, taking our punishment upon Himself. And as if removing the punishment of hell weren’t enough, He also offered us complete fulfillment again through a renewed relationship with Him.

We are still helpless to satisfy ourselves. But God Almighty has offered to satisfy us. He saw us floundering and knew we’d never improve our condition on our own, no matter how hard we tried. So He made a way for us to come back and find that perfect fulfillment that we were made to long for, which can be found only in Him.

Just as I saw Lindsey lying helpless in her crib, God looked down from eternity and saw you and me helpless in time, and He came down Himself to help us.

God Himself left His throne to come down and help you. To help me. To help all who will accept the necessity of His Son’s sacrifice on their behalf and acknowledge His lordship in their lives.

Why? For His glory. But also for the same reason I helped Lindsey: love.

I put her pacifier back in her mouth because I loved her and wanted her to have peace.

Jesus came to earth and lived and died for you and me because He wanted us to have peace.

In our helplessness, He gave us the help we needed. And He didn’t just do it once. He continues to do it today and every day.

What incredible love and compassion.

Isaiah 9:2—The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

Matthew 9:36—When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.