2012

The Hands

Sculpture Hands Holding StonesOn a shelf in our dining room rests a sculptured pair of cupped hands. Nestled inside the hands are 19 smooth, polished stones. One is dark brown. Five are light brown. Thirteen are white.

The hands represent Father God’s hands. They are cupped in order that each stone be held in their palms, just as the Bible tells us that God holds us in the palm of His hand.

The stones represent our children. Yes, all nineteen of them. The dark brown stone represents Steven, the baby boy we were prepared to adopt years ago, whose birth mother changed her mind and did not let us take him home from the hospital. The five light brown stones stand for our five children alive on earth. And each of the thirteen white stones represents a child conceived during our IVF attempts who did not live long enough to have a chance at being born on this earth, and who is now waiting for us in heaven.

Someday, I will see those babies, look into their sweet little faces, and know what they look like. But until then…God holds them in His hands and hugs them in His arms.

Someday, we hope to see Steven again and to know that he had a good life, even if it wasn’t the life with us that we had hoped to provide for him. But until then…God holds Steven in His hands.

Even though five children live with us, so that we can see their precious faces every day, hug and kiss them and tell them we love them…God holds them, too. When we wrap our arms around them and soak in the feel of their precious hugs, and maybe even bow our head to kiss the top of theirs, God is ultimately the One holding them until the day they go to live with Him forever.

You see, children are precious to God. He loves them exceedingly. In fact, in a time when children were nothing special as far as society was concerned, where they were definitely supposed to be seen and not heard, Jesus made it a point to hold them, love them, and welcome them into His presence.

And Father God still does the same today.

Children are welcome in His presence. They are beloved. That’s why He holds them close—not because He has to, but because He wants to.

Not just the people whom society would consider children by virtue of their age, but those whom Father God considers children.

That includes all of us.

You. Me.

Right now, as I sit here trying to be faithful to the words God wants me to put on the screen so that His heart and intentions will reach yours, He is holding me in the palm of His hand. As you sit reading, he holds you too, wherever you are.

But not just for now. Just as those stones always rest in the pair of artificial hands, we nestle in the hands of the Father continually.

That will never change. In fact, when He walked this earth, Jesus took time to spell it out. “No one is able to snatch [you] out of the Father’s hand,” He said. That means no one can ever make us leave Father God’s love and care. Period. End of story. That’s because, as Jesus told us, “My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all.” God is so much more loving and powerful than anybody else that He is the one who gets to determine where we rest. And He has lovingly gathered us into His hands and offered us the privilege of resting there.

Not just right now, not even just today, but every second of every day for all eternity.

He’s promised to love us and hold us until we see His face…and then forever.

That’s a promise our souls can rest in. Starting now.

John 10:29—My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.

Fresh

Recently, I sat on a park bench, watching Lindsey play on the swings. The air was cool but not cold; the sun was shining its warmth upon me; and everything glistened from the raindrops left over from the night before. It was a beautiful morning.

The word that came to my mind was fresh. That’s how the morning felt—fresh, clean, and new.

I also have a newborn son. Timothy was born three weeks ago. Although it’s already hard to remember what life was like without him, we are still just getting to know him. Each day, we get more clues to his delightful personality. But as far as we know now, he could grow up to be anything. He could express his personality in a number of unique, charming ways.

Anything seems possible.

Sometimes, it’s easy to see possibilities. We look at the weather or a situation or a person and see only potential. Other times, we see only the negative. When Lindsey and I arrived at the park, I could have thought to myself (or even said out loud), What a wet, nasty day. Instead of a precious little boy, I could look at my son and see only the myriad diaper changes and the amount of time I’m “tied down” feeding him. Same weather—same child—but different attitude.

What makes the difference? Perspective.

With most things in life, especially the smaller things, the difference between a positive or negative attitude is simply a matter of perspective. We can look at a person or situation and focus on what we perceive to be the negative aspects, or we can focus on the positive. The rain left on the ground at the park? It could have been negative—something that messed up the place we wanted to play—or, as I took it, positive, making everything glisten.

Unfortunately, I don’t always choose a positive perspective in the face of things I don’t like. I sometimes focus so intently on the negative qualities of my situation that the positive ones just don’t seem to matter much. But I want to do better. Why? Three reasons.

First, it’s what God wants. We’re mistaken if we think He’s pleased when we decide to see a glass as half-empty when all it would take to see it as half-full is a shift in perspective. I’m not suggesting we all become Pollyannas and deny our negative feelings about something. But I am recommending that we take those negative feelings to God and ask Him to help us deal with them.

Second, when I have a positive perspective in a situation, it indicates that I know God can and will see me through. No situation or person I encounter is too big for God to be able to use in a positive way in my life. Often, it would be fairly easy to find something positive to concentrate on if we were just willing to look—especially if we remember that God is present with us in our circumstances and will take care of us.

Third, a negative perspective rarely makes me happy. I get far more peace from focusing on the good aspects of a situation than on the bad and from remembering to seek God in my situation rather than just grumble. So why do I spend my time complaining about something or someone? Good question.

Perhaps there is a situation or person in your life right now that you need to find something positive in. Again, I’m not suggesting that you deny the negative, but rather that you find something positive in the situation and think about that rather than about the part you don’t like (which may very well be legitimate). If you can’t find anything good to consider, ask God to help you.

Your strong-willed child who has difficulty obeying you the first time you give instructions? Perhaps the positive is that you know his strong will is going to help him stand against peer pressure. You may still have to discipline his behavior, but now at least you have found something positive to partially relieve your emotions and make things a little bit easier on yourself.

Your husband who isn’t as emotional with you as you would like him to be? Perhaps you could see him as calm and steady, qualities that are of extreme value in the storms of life. You may still decide to respectfully discuss the issue with him, but at least you won’t be doing it from a completely negative mindset.

On what situation or person in your life do you need a fresh perspective? What difference might it make if you could begin to acknowledge and think about the positive? Will you do it?

Proverbs 15:15—All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.

Right Now!

My life has become even more immeasurably rich since giving birth to our second son (our fifth child) two weeks ago. Timmy is a cuddly, lovable little boy. Already, he’s starting to lose the newborn look. He’s eating well and filling out a little. He even sleeps well (thank you, God!).

Sometimes, when Timmy wakes up, he does so gradually, squiggling and squirming and making soft, intermittent noises. If I don’t feed him soon enough, he’ll fuss, then escalate to full-out crying. Other times, Timmy knows immediately that he’s hungry, and he goes from zero (sleep) to 60 (awake and crying) in just a few seconds. When he’s that hungry, only eating will satisfy him. He wants his food right now!

I’ve written before about this week’s verse, and how we are to desire spiritual food—God’s Word—as strongly as my newborn son desires his food. But this week, I want to take this verse in a little bit different direction. The verse says that we Christians are to desire God’s Word in the same way as little babies desire milk. Last time, I took that to mean we should long for our Bibles as strongly as babies want their food. That’s still true. But this time, I want us to realize that we must also desire the Scriptures as constantly as babies desire breast or bottle.

You see, despite the fact my son is only two weeks old, I’ve already fed him well more than 100 times. It wasn’t good enough to feed him the first time, then once last week, once this week, etc. No, Timmy wants to be fed regularly. He doesn’t go very long before he knows with everything in him that it’s time to eat again.

On the other hand…we often go quite awhile between times of reading or studying God’s Word. A week passes without our Bible, and we’re not bothered by that. Sometimes, even longer passes, and instead of craving God’s Word more and more, we crave it less and less. We become used to not having it. We fill the space the Bible should occupy with other things: childcare, recreation, even church activities.

We simply don’t desire God’s Word as we should.

I know that all too often, I’ve often been inconsistent with my quiet time. Perhaps you have, too. Why? We both know regular study of the Bible is important. We both agree we should engage in it. So why don’t we?

Ultimately, what it often comes down to is that we don’t really believe it’s as important as we say we do. We don’t feel the need. Yes, family and homemaking responsibilities can make it pretty difficult to find time for regular study. But if we really believed it was important, we’d make time. No matter how busy we are, we could always find five minutes per day, except on rare occasions. Yes, it can be difficult to know how to study. But if we really thought studying was important, we’d find someone to teach us how to study, or we’d at least give it our best shot. But we don’t. Studying the Bible isn’t really as important to us as we say it is.

I encourage you to consider whether this might be true in your life. Is it possible that the reason you don’t study regularly is because you don’t really desire to?

I have to admit that this has been true of me at times. There have been times when, because life was going so well (or just because it was so busy), I’ve forgotten how much I need the Bible. I need to hear God speaking to me through His Word. So do you. If we don’t see the dire necessity of Bible study, we’re right where Satan wants us. He well knows that in order to bear fruit, we must be connected to the vine. So if He can get us to think we don’t really need one of the primary means of connection, he’s thrilled. He knows the power of the Word and is quite satisfied for us to ignore that power.

I don’t want to please Satan; I want to please God. I know you do, too. So if your heart doesn’t strongly and frequently desire Scripture, I encourage you to pray and ask God to change your heart. There’s not really a way to muster up the desire on our own. We need Him to help us long for His Word like He knows we should. Like my son longs to be fed, even when he only ate a little while ago.

So yes, desire God’s Word strongly. But also desire it frequently. If it’s been too long since you really wanted to open your Bible, ask God to help you want to. Then do it. If you don’t know how, find someone who can give you some ideas.

And next time you hear a baby cry, ask yourself, “How long has it been since I desired God’s Word like this baby wants to be fed?”

1 Peter 2:2—As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.

Seeing Potential

Sesame Street Birthday CakeRecently, I made a cake for my daughter Jessica’s 4th birthday. She wanted a Sesame Street cake like Lindsey had had two years ago when she turned four. The cake was fun and easy to make, so I gladly made another one and stacked the layers on top of each other. Then I got ready to frost it.

I hadn’t frozen the layers before frosting; nor had I planned to add a crumb coat, as I often do. I knew that most of the frosting would be covered by decorations anyway, so I simply began frosting the three layers—blue on bottom, then yellow, then red.

Because I hadn’t taken the time to do something about the crumbs from the cut edges of the layers, the frosting was looking…well, pretty “crumby” (crummy, too). And a portion of one of the layers tried to fall off, causing me to fight with it for a minute or two while I tried to glue it back onto the rest of the cake with frosting.

I was about to cry (being hormonal and 36 weeks pregnant didn’t help matters) when Jessica ran into the room to see how I was doing. I heard her intake of breath, then, “It’s beautiful!” Before I could respond, she ran off to find her siblings, saying, “Come look at my beautiful cake!”

Hmph, I thought, shrugging and looking at the cake again. If she thinks it’s beautiful, it must not be that bad.

I guess whether or not a cake is beautiful all depends on what you are looking for in a cake. If you’re looking at the cake as it is, it may or may not be beautiful at the moment. But if what you see is what your cake is on the way to being—in other words, the finished product—then it probably does look beautiful. Jessica saw her cake was beautiful because it was tall and colorful, and because she knew it would turn out to be exactly what she wanted. That was enough for her.

Too bad it’s not enough for us sometimes when we look at ourselves. As women and as moms, it’s particularly easy for us to look at ourselves and see nothing but the imperfections. We know what we’d like ourselves to be, but we don’t trust the Maker that that’s possible.

What if we saw ourselves the way God sees us? What if we trusted Him to make perfect beauty from what looks imperfect now?

God knows that even though we’re not there yet, we’re at least on the way to being what He wants us to be. He sees the finished product He’s in the process of bringing to completion, not the imperfect intermediate one. He sees the beauty of the work He’s put into us, not the blemishes of the ways we’ve messed up. Sure, He knows we’re not perfect—but He also knows that one day, we will be, because of what He’s done in us.

One day we will be sinless. One day we will get things right—all the time. One day, we’ll be what we’ve always dreamed of being—glorified and beautiful, though physical beauty won’t hold the same importance for us anymore.

If only we could begin seeing ourselves differently right now—on the way to becoming, rather than messed up or imperfect. I wonder how we might treat ourselves differently as well as those around us. You see, they’re in the process of becoming, too. Maybe if we realized that we’re all still in process, we’d be able to give ourselves and others a little more grace. Maybe even a lot more. And maybe instead of reacting negatively to our imperfections, we could rejoice at God’s creative work in us as He gradually shapes us into the perfection He has is mind for us to be one day.

The crumby cake is not what we ultimately are. It’s not our final identity. It’s merely a stage on the way to becoming the beautiful cake God envisions—and it may even be beautiful at the moment. And just like God did for me that day, He may sometimes send us a little reminder—maybe even in the form of a delighted four-year-old excited about even the in-between stages.

1 John 3:2—Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is.

Giving Birth

Today, about 8:15 a.m. (give or take), I will give birth to our fifth child, a son. How can I pinpoint the time so accurately? I’m having a planned C-section. So unless Baby Timothy decides to make an appearance early (which I wouldn’t mind at all), I know the date and time when he will be born.

At the appointed hour, he will be lifted from my womb into the world, and I will get to meet him and rejoice in his presence. Over the last several months, my anticipation has built until now, I can hardly wait.

As I thought recently about how much I look forward to his arrival, I realized that God knows how I feel. Not just because He knows me intimately and can see everything about my emotions, but because He has given birth too—millions of times.

Obviously God does not have a female, physical body as I do. But He has indeed given life to a vast number of children, bringing them into the world at the appointed day and time. Just as He has determined when my son will be born, He also determined when all of His sons and daughters would be born.

I’m speaking, of course, about all those whom He has made His children through their faith in His Son. Each of us Christians was “born” at just the right time, which God had planned beforehand. But there is an important difference between my son’s birth and the birth of God’s children. My son is currently alive. When he is born, he will still be alive, but now outside my body. The difference is that before we were born into God’s spiritual family, we were dead. Not just alive somewhere else, but dead. Yet God, in His grace and mercy, brought us to life and transferred us from the kingdom of death into the kingdom of His Son, making us His children.

Unlike me, God has the power to transfer someone not only from inside a body to outside, but from death to life. So as excited as I am about my son’s birth, how much more thrilled must God be about His children’s births? All the time I have spent preparing for and anticipating my son’s arrival is nothing compared to what God did in preparation for my arrival, or yours. I’ve set up a nursery for my son; God is even now preparing an eternal home in heaven for His children. I bought some clothes made mostly out of cotton; God readied clothing of righteousness. I bought a small bathtub; God provided His Word and the blood of Jesus for cleansing His children. And although people usually don’t have baby showers for fifth babies (though I am being blessed with one this time), God always celebrates the arrival of His children.

The Bible tells us that there is joy in heaven over one sinner who repents. “Joy” doesn’t mean just a little bit of happiness, as if God were saying, “That’s nice.” Joy means a huge, heavenly celebration over what God has done and over a new child born into God’s family—a celebration that’s far beyond even the most elaborate earthly baby shower.

So as I make final preparations for Timmy’s arrival; as I arrive at the hospital and give birth; and as I receive congratulations from family and friends for my beautiful son, I will remember.

I’ll remember God’s marvelous work at granting life to so many children, and I’ll praise Him.

I’ll meditate on how, though I love my son with all my heart, God loves His children even more, and I’ll thank Him.

I’ll experience joy over my son’s birth and remember that there was a heavenly party at my spiritual birth, and I’ll worship.

Will you think about these things too, in relation to you and your children? Will you spend time contemplating God’s majesty and goodness and let those qualities move you to adoring Him?

You see, as much as I love my children and you love yours, God loves us even more. Perhaps that is most incredible of all—that He loves us. Think about His love. Ask Him to help you grasp even the tiniest corner of it, and let it move you to profound gratitude and love for Him in return.

Ephesians 2:1, 4-6—And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked….But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.

Luke 15:7—Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

1 John 3:1—See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

Imitating Jesus

Last week, we talked about the need to imitate Jesus in order to provide the best example for our children. I promised that this week, I would share some meaningful ways we can do that, and I will. But first, I want to remind us all (including me) of something very important as we begin to study the topic of imitating Jesus: we can’t succeed in our own strength.

Most of us, upon realizing that we need to represent Jesus to our children, will have one of two reactions. Either we’ll see success as so impossible that we won’t even bother to try, or we’ll have the opposite reaction and determine just to try harder. Neither one of these perspectives is fully correct. The first group is right that we can’t do this on our own, but that doesn’t excuse us from putting forth our best effort. The second group is right that we do indeed need to put forth our best effort, but even that won’t be enough.

So we can’t succeed on our own, and our best efforts won’t be good enough. Now what?

Now, we rely on God for the strength, wisdom, and endurance to do what He’s called us to do. In our own strength, success is impossible. In God’s strength, success is inevitable.

So as you read about these areas where your example can make an incredible difference to your children, remember that God’s power is available to make it happen, and it’s the only way to make it happen. You have to ask Him for His help—preferably on a regular basis—but you can be sure of getting it.

The first way we can imitate Christ in a way that will really matter to our children is by loving as Jesus loved. Jesus loved children, and they knew it. They were drawn to Him. They wanted to hang out with Him. Why? Because they knew He cared about them. Do your children know you care? How do they know? What would they say if you asked them whether they know Mommy loves them deeply?

We must show love to our children, or not much else that we say or do will matter. We need to make sure we demonstrate our love in a way our children can receive. Some children love to hear the words “I love you”, and those words make them feel especially loved. (All children need to hear these words, but for some, spoken words have a special meaning.) Some children love to receive little gifts. Some want to spend time with you or cuddle with you. Some feel loved when you do things for them. (See Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages of Children for more information on this topic.) It’s best if you can show love to your child in all these ways at times. But it’s especially vital to your little one’s heart that you communicate love in his or her “love language”. Don’t assume that it must be obvious to your children that you love them. Let it become obvious because they keep seeing your love expressed over and over in a way they can understand.

Second, we can treat our children’s spirits tenderly even when we are angry at them. Little children aren’t made to withstand adult blasts of anger on a regular basis. True, kids are resilient, but after awhile, corrosive anger begins to eat at their spirit. If your children are terrified of you lest you get angry, never knowing when the other shoe is going to drop, this will create scars on your love relationship with them.

That’s not to say that occasional slip-ups will harm them for life. When you are too harsh with your anger now and then, a heartfelt apology will usually suffice to restore your relationship. But when harshness (whether by verbal aggression or the more passive sighs and silent treatment) is the rule rather than the exception, you’ll wound their little spirit. Ask Jesus to help you treat your children when you’re mad like you would want your parents to treat you when they’re angry (or like you wish they would have treated you). Your kids need to know that even when Mommy’s angry, she still loves them.

Third, be patient. When your children make mistakes; when they demonstrate childish inability or lack of skill; when they are needy on the same day you’re exhausted, be patient anyway. After all, God doesn’t immediately zap you the moment you make a mistake. He patiently leads you until you understand how to succeed. He cheers you on as you make progress. He builds you up and helps you to feel confident and capable.

What a blessing it would be to your children if you would do the same for them. Think about it: a child who grows up in this kind of environment will grow up to be confident and to believe he or she is capable of mastering life. That’s what I want for my children, and I know you want the same thing. So be patient with them. Your kids need to know it’s okay to be imperfect and that Mommy loves them anyway, whether or not they’re performing properly.

Fourth, be willing to serve. Even Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. Why should we expect any less for ourselves? Yet too often we resent the effort it takes to parent well. Our kids’ neediness annoys us. We want more free time for ourselves. We can’t wait for the kids to become more independent so we don’t have to do so much for them.

Our kids know it when we have that attitude. They’re well aware when Mommy is grumpy or crabby about having to serve them. What does that communicate to them? That they’re a bother. That they’re less important than we are. Maybe even that we don’t love them. But I guarantee you that we cause far more trouble for our Father than our kids cause for us. Yet He doesn’t grumble and complain when we need something from Him. In fact, He invites us to come boldly to Him and ask Him for what we need. What difference might it make if we were actually glad to serve our children? Well, they’d feel loved, for one thing. For another, they’d learn how to serve others with a good attitude. And perhaps most important, they’d realize what kind of attitude God has toward helping them, and they’d feel more free to come to Him.

That’s what parenting is ultimately all about, isn’t it? Teaching our children about God and representing Him in such a way that our children will want to come to Him. Think about it: if God is like you portray Him to be by your actions, will your children want to draw near to Him?

If you’re like me, sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it’s no. I wish it were yes all the time. But I can’t succeed on my own. I need to pray regularly and frequently for God to help me be the kind of example He wants me to be. So do you. Because our children not only learn to act like we act, but they also learn that God is an awful lot like what we are. Let’s portray an accurate picture of Him so that our kids will know who He is. If we do that, they’ll want to be around Him. And they’ll never want to leave that kind of love. That’s where we want them to be—resting securely in His arms. Forever.

1 Chronicles 16:11—Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!

John 13:15—“For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”

Mini Me

Jessica Looking Over Lindsey's ShoulderAt almost 6 years old, Lindsey has a “mini me” in just-turned-4yo Jessica. Recently, Jessica and Lindsey have become best buddies, spending almost all their time together playing and laughing. Whatever Lindsey wants is okay by Jessica, and Jessica often asks Lindsey what she thinks before adopting the opinion as her own.

Fortunately, Lindsey doesn’t mind. She seems to be as delighted with Jessica as Jessica is with her. Twenty-two months apart in age, they are close enough in interests and abilities to be fun playmates for each other.

Lindsey Making Snow Angels While Jessica WatchesBut even more fortunate than the fact that Lindsey doesn’t mind Jessica’s attachment but instead welcomes it is the fact that Jessica has chosen a great example to pattern her life after. Lindsey is sweet, sensitive, caring, and well-behaved. She also loves God, a fact that’s obvious even at not-quite-six. If Jessica becomes like Lindsey, I will only be pleased.

The apostle Paul knew it was a good idea to have someone to pattern one’s life after. With his whole heart, he sought to be like Christ. But he also knew it’s helpful to have someone on earth to emulate. In counseling the Corinthian believers, he advised them, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Basically Paul was saying, “If you want to know how to act right, act like me.”

Wow. I wonder if we could say that to our kids. If you want to know how to act, act just like Mommy.

Love God just like Mommy does. Speak to others—strangers or friends and family—just like Mommy does. Be compassionate like Mommy is. Be generous like Mommy. When you’re mad, act like Mommy does when she’s mad. Could we say that?

Some days, the last thing I want my kids to do is act like me. But they will act like me, whether I specifically tell them to or not. If your kids are old enough, you’ve heard your words coming from their mouth. You’ve seen your attitudes in their body language. You’ve read your emotions on their face.

They are imitating you. But whom are you imitating?

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” That’s the key. We have to imitate Christ as much if not more so than our kids imitate us. But do we do so? Too often we don’t. We imitate Christ when it’s convenient, but when it gets difficult, or we’ve had a bad day, or our emotions are involved, we act like…well, the person Satan wants us to be. The person who doesn’t show a very good example of what God is like when we’re under stress.

I know it’s difficult. Believe me, with four young children ages 8 and under, and 37 weeks pregnant with Baby #5, I know it’s difficult to be what we should be all of the time. We’re human beings, after all. But fortunately, we have something far more than human strength available to us to make us what we should be: we have access to God’s divine power enabling us to be what we should. And in His power, we can be far more than we could ever hope to be on our own.

No, we’re not ever going to be perfect. There will be times we have to repent of our actions (or inaction) and apologize to our children, pointing them toward the only One who will truly never fail them. But if we want to be an example we can tell our children to imitate where godliness is concerned, we need to be purposeful about it. We must remember both that our children will imitate us and that godliness doesn’t happen by accident. We need to constantly fix our eyes on Jesus as our example, because only by imitating Him can we hope to provide a worthy example to our children. And we must remember to ask Him for His strength and His power to enable us to be what He wants us to be before the little eyes and hearts watching us.

“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” Your children will imitate you, Mom. Will you be purposeful in providing them if not a perfect example, at least the best example you can? Will your example point them toward life and godliness?

I pray that yours will. I pray that mine will do the same for my children.

1 Corinthians 11:1—Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

Lindsey Hugging Jessica

Pony on a Stick

Two weeks ago, my husband and I took our kids to the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. For those of you who might not live near where rodeos are common, this event is a BIG deal in our area and large portions of the state. The stock show and rodeo take up several full pages of the paper each day with pictures and results of the various contests.

You know what the rodeo part means. The “stock show” part involves thousands of animals being shown, some for the purpose of being sold, and some just to win a prize. There are cows, goats, chickens, rabbits, and many others. And, of course, steers. In fact, the “star” of the stock show is whichever steer is judged near the end of the event to be the Grand Champion. This steer usually sells for almost $200,000, which goes directly to the child or teenager showing him.

But if you’re like our family, and you’re not showing any animals, you probably just enter through the front gates. These provide the best access to things other than the animal barns, such as the petting zoo, the midway rides, and the ponies on a stick. I’m not talking about those toys that have a pony head attached to a stick, where you straddle it and ride the pony all over the house. I mean real ponies, harnessed to spokes in a horizontal wheel. For a fee, kids get to choose a pony and ride it as the ponies walk in a circle, rotating the wheel. If you really want to fork over some money, the attendants will take a picture of your child on the pony. Otherwise, you can lean over the railing and do it yourself as your child and his or her pony pass by.

Jessica Riding a PonyI can identify with those ponies. As a mom, I too feel like I sometimes go in circles, not really accomplishing anything. It seems that I’m there just to entertain the children when they want my attention. The rest of the time, I’m just…tied down. Can’t go anywhere, because the children might need me. Can’t roam free, because I have a job to do. Don’t receive much attention, except when people want something from me. Almost never get a thank you. Not glamorous, and definitely not the star of the show.

It’s easy to feel like that as a mom, isn’t it? Like what we do doesn’t really matter much in the overall scheme of things. It sure isn’t glamorous. Ask the world what it considers a glamorous job, and motherhood won’t make the list. The big money goes to those who do what society considers really important—the grand champions. Not to us. Not to moms.

In my poem “Loving Jesus”, I’ve already addressed one reason why what we do matters immensely. But I want to make a different point this time. We moms may not be the stars of the show. We’re not the ones whose pictures fill up page after page of the paper. Our jobs may not matter much, in terms of society’s values.

But we matter to our children.

If my family ever arrives at the stock show one year to find that the ponies on a stick aren’t happening, my kids will be disappointed, but they’ll find another activity to replace it. But if I am ever not present in my children’s lives for the long term, they will never fully get over it.

We matter to our children, whether they are ours by birth, adoption, or marriage, in a way words don’t fully describe. We fill a space in our child’s heart that was placed there just for us. Children instinctively love their mothers and depend on them in a way that goes far beyond what they know how to express. Sure, somebody else could change their diapers or fix their meals. But only you can touch that place deep within their souls that needs a mom, and not just any mom, but you.

Sure, there are other loving people in your child’s life who are important to your child. But none of them can replace you. God has put a need in your child’s heart for you that cannot be met by any of those other people.

You may never get your picture in the paper for being a grand champion. But you will still have succeeded in your calling, even on those days when you burn their toast. You will have mattered to your children in a way no one else can.

1 Thessalonians 1:4—For we know, [moms] loved by God, that he has chosen you.

Nothin’ But Gum

My youngest daughter Jessica will be turning four in a little less than two weeks. Yesterday, I asked her for ideas of what gifts she might like to receive for her birthday. She thought about it, then said, “I don’t know.”

“Would you like a toy for your Squinkies?” I asked. “Or maybe the jet for Littlest Pet Shop?”

“The jet for Littlest Pet Shop!” she said. “No, wait. How about…gum?”

“O-kay, you can have gum,” I said.

“Would I have to share?” Jessica asked politely.

“No, this would be your birthday gum,” I said. “It would all be for you.”

“Yay!” she said excitedly, a grin lighting up her face.

I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised at her response. Despite the fact that Jessica loves to play with her toys, especially when someone will play with her, she has frequently shown more excitement over gum than she has over a new toy. In fact, once she received ten dollars from her grandma for her birthday. “Can I buy a gumball?” she asked hopefully.

“Sweetie, you can buy a lot of gumballs for ten dollars,” I said.

“Yay!” she responded.

I wonder how old she’ll be before gum isn’t all that impressive anymore…or before she realizes that she can ask for both gum and toys. On the one hand, I’m very glad she’s content with simple things for now. On the other hand, I want her to know there’s much more available to her.

I bet that’s how God feels with respect to our requests. Certainly He’s glad when we’re content with the basics, as far as material things are concerned. But regarding spiritual things, I bet He wishes we would ask for so much more than we do.

Our prayers tend to be small. Limited. We ask for money to pay the bills, for physical health, or for a new job. Granted, those are all good things, and we should bring these requests to God when they arise. But if all we pray for is physical or material things, we’re missing a huge part of what prayer is supposed to be about.

The Bible tells us that God can do far more than we can even ask or imagine, spiritually speaking. He can grant us spiritual victories over temptation or discouragement. He can produce the fruit of the Spirit in us. He can change our hearts to love someone we really don’t like. He can make us bold witnesses for His Name’s sake. He can fill us with joy despite our circumstances. He can make His own glory shine through us. Yet how often do we ask Him for any of these things?

I know it’s easy to get caught up in the seemingly more urgent material needs that we have. Happens to me too. But if we pray about those things to the exclusion of spiritual things, we’re missing something. And if we think we need our husband to get a job, or need our allergies to stop bothering us, more than we need spiritual strength, we’re mistaken.

What are you asking God for, spiritually speaking? If you’re like me, too often the answer is not much. Or perhaps, again like me, you remember to ask for a few days in a row, but the next thing you know, it’s been a month since you’ve prayed about it.

Will you try something with me this week? Let’s ask God to open our eyes to the spiritual blessings we’re missing out on because we don’t ask. Let’s ask Him to show us what kinds of spiritual things we need to be praying about. Then, let’s ask Him to grant us the desire to do so, and the ability to remember to engage in this new habit.

You see, Satan doesn’t want us to pray about the spiritual things. He’s probably thrilled if we spend all our time praying about our car or our house or our dog. He knows, better than we do sometimes, that it’s the prayers for spiritual things that are the most dangerous to his kingdom. He wants us to forget to pray, or not to realize the importance of it.

But greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. And He who is in us is the one who will go on this adventure with us. Let’s let Him lead us on the most fantastically fulfilling adventure of our lives. Will you try it?

Ephesians 3:20-21—Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

I John 4:4—Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

Bath Time

I remember a time a few years ago when I had a couple of my kids in the bathtub at the same time. By now, I don’t even remember which two were in there. But I remember hearing the squealing and splashing. Splashing that sounded more like a tsunami, as in huge quantities of water getting moved from place to place.

I went to check on them and opened the door to the bathroom. They froze in mid-splash as I surveyed the mess, waiting to see if they were going to get in trouble. Sure enough, there was water everywhere. And in one of those moments where I really got it right and have been glad ever since that I did, I smiled and said, “Have fun. Splash as much as you want.” I closed the door and listened to the giggling and splashing start back up.

I guess it’s safe to say that my kids love bath time, or at least the time they get to spend playing in the water. Getting clean is just a fringe benefit for them. But I’ve realized something, and that’s what I want to share with you tonight.

Yes, the analogy I want to draw is that of getting clean. Kids get physically clean in the bathtub; the Holy Spirit cleanses us spiritually. But the lesson I want us to learn from the analogy isn’t quite so obvious. It’s simply this: My kids never get out of the tub wondering whether or not they’re clean. They assume they are. On the other hand, when we moms ask God for forgiveness and cleansing, we often walk away wondering whether we’re really cleansed or feeling like we’re not.

That’s because we don’t really believe that something as simple as a “bath” can get us clean. We don’t fully believe Jesus when He says that by asking forgiveness—by taking a bath—we are indeed cleansed. We figure that what we’ve done is so bad, one bath couldn’t possibly take care of removing the stain. Or we think there has to be something more to it than merely bathing (repenting and asking forgiveness).

But there isn’t. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.

True, my kids will need a bath again soon. Tonight is a bath night, for instance, and I don’t expect them to go the rest of their lives without getting dirty. But the next bath they take won’t be for the purpose of washing away the dirt they washed away tonight. That dirt is already gone. Instead, they will bathe away any new dirt they’ve gotten into since then.

Same with us. Once we’ve repented, asked for, and received forgiveness, we never need to be forgiven again for that same sin. It’s gone, washed away down the drain somewhere. Yes, we’ll need to “bathe” again the next time we sin, but that will be for new sin—not the sin we asked forgiveness for tonight.

That is the kind of cleansing Jesus offers us. He washes our sin so far away from us we can’t get it back. Yet we spend the rest of our lives in the bathtub because we believe our sin isn’t really gone, when in reality, it went down the drain a long time ago.

What sin do you believe is still with you, despite the fact you’ve repented and asked for forgiveness? Hear Jesus speaking to you: It’s gone. I took care of it. It’s down the drain.

Friend, the bath is over. It’s time to stop washing and start praising Jesus and His infinite mercy. Let’s not spend any more time trying to make complete what Jesus already fully took care of. When He says gone, He means gone. Let’s believe Him and get out of the tub.

Psalm 103:12—As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.