How to Be Content

When You’re Tempted to Be Discontent

Megan Breedlove July 14, 2014 No Comments

You can’t please everyone.

This is especially true when you are serving dinner to your children. With each child you have, the odds increase that somebody isn’t going to like what’s served. Even if you only have one child, it’s entirely possible that what he or she liked the last time you served it may get a very different approval rating this time.

So, if you’re like our family, you have had to try to teach your children how to be polite about something they don’t like. Of course, your kids will put their own spin on your instructions, and you will wind up hearing comments like this recent one from Ellie, when I had prepared a ham-yam-pineapple dish: “I really like it. Except for the ham. And the yams. And, well, the pineapple.”

Or this one from Jessica: “Can I have a cheese rollup too? Except without any cheese, but with peanut butter.”

Kids in general (though there are certainly exceptions) seem to have a relatively narrow range of likes and dislikes related to food. If what you serve falls between those parameters (which, by the way, change frequently and without warning), all is well. But if not?

To paraphrase a slogan I recently read on Facebook, “There is no fury like that of a toddler whose sandwich you cut into squares when he wanted triangles.”

Kids can be pretty picky sometimes. If your children aren’t, and will actually eat things like onions and mushrooms without implying that you are trying to kill them, then you are truly blessed. But for most of us, the truism “Children are picky eaters” will, indeed, ring true.

Unfortunately, you and I as moms are sometimes equally picky in terms of what we want out of life, and even out of God. God offers us something that is perfectly good for us, and we want to modify it or refuse it entirely. It’s one thing to make our own choice when God lets us choose, which He does sometimes do. It’s another thing entirely to act as if God must fashion our circumstances according to our demands.

We are not the ones in authority—the ones with perfect knowledge of everything, past, present, and future. We are not the ones capable of determining what’s best for us, or what’s necessary for God’s plan for our lives to work out right. Yet we act as if God has done us a disservice by allowing some unpleasant circumstance into our lives.

I’m not suggesting that we should never pray and ask God to change our circumstances. Even Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, beseeching God to stop what was going to happen if it was at all possible. The Apostle Paul prayed three times, asking God to remove some unnamed thing that was tormenting him. At various places in Scripture, we are commanded to pray or to bring our requests before God.

The problem is not in asking God to heal us from sickness or to provide for our financial needs. The problem comes when we act like God is required to please us and conform our circumstances to our liking, and if He doesn’t, we’re not going to accept them.

But who are we to determine what is best for us? Is it not rather Almighty God, who is our Creator and Sustainer?

Is there something in your life right now that you’re refusing to accept from God’s hand? Something where God has told you, “This is the way it has to be for now”?

Don’t fight Him. Nothing good can come of striving against the Almighty. You will lose—and you will miss out on the blessings you could have had along the way.

Job 38:18—Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth? Tell me, if you know all this. (NIV)

Isaiah 55:9—As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (NIV)

Isaiah 29:16—You turn things upside down! Shall the potter be regarded as the clay, that the thing made should say of its maker, “He did not make me”; or the thing formed say of him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?

Greener

Megan Breedlove January 6, 2014 No Comments

My son Timmy loves potato chips. “Get it? Get it?” he will say hopefully, pointing to the bag on the counter.

The other day, I gave him several chips. He was happily eating them…for awhile, that is. His satisfaction with his snack came to a screeching halt when he realized that Jessica had chips too.

The minute he realized there were chips on her plate, he began doing everything he could think of to try to get to them. “No, Timmy,” I said. “You have your own chips.”

But Timmy was no longer impressed with his own snack. He climbed up onto a chair near Jessica and tried to climb onto the table. He reached for her chips. He asked for them. He screamed.

I went over to him, picked up one of his chips, and offered it to him. He clamped his mouth shut and turned away, so I backed off, at which point he immediately began demanding his sister’s chips again.

Ultimately, Timmy missed out on a snack because he wouldn’t eat his own chips, and I wouldn’t let him have his sister’s chips. He went hungry when there was a perfectly good plate of chips sitting right there in front of him—all because he couldn’t have what his sister was having.

Timmy’s attitude and actions that day remind me of us moms sometimes. We’re content with what we have in our own lives—our house, our car, our children—until we see somebody who has something “better”. Then we begin to pout, whine, and complain.

What she has is so much better than what I have, we tell ourselves. Why can’t I have it too?

And then we look back at our own lives, which seemed so satisfying just a moment ago, and suddenly, they’re not quite so satisfying anymore.

You’ve heard the saying, The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. It means that whatever someone else has always looks better. Unfortunately, this is often true. We fail to appreciate what we have because we’re too busy wanting what someone else has.

But oh, don’t belittle what you have just because someone else has more or “better”. Don’t look at the gifts God has specifically chosen for you and disparage them because they’re not what you would have picked out for yourself. God is far better at picking things out for you than you are. He knows what is best for you and ultimately what will be most satisfying—in other words, what will lead you to Him. If you don’t have what someone else has, there’s a reason. God knows it’s not in His plan for you—at least right now.

Is there something in your life today with which you’re dissatisfied? Is part of your dissatisfaction because you’re comparing what you have with what you think you could or should have?

Precious mom, trust God that what He has picked out for you is right for you. Then thank Him for it. True contentment is to be found in God alone, not in the things we possess. It’s Satan’s lie that you would be happier with the things someone else has.

Don’t believe him. Stick with the chips on your own plate.

James 1:17—Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (ESV)

1 Timothy 6:6—Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment. (ESV)

Macaroni Soup

Megan Breedlove September 24, 2012 No Comments

I love my crock pot. I think it’s neat how you can throw a few ingredients in there, turn the pot on, and come back later to find a nice, homemade dinner all ready for you. So yesterday morning, before church, I assembled the ingredients for a new macaroni-and-Velveeta cheese dish, doubled the recipe, and put them all into the crock pot. I pushed “low” and prepared to collect all the brownie points I knew my kids would send my way when we sat down to eat in a few hours.

I had to stay home from church with Ellie, who was suffering from allergies. So I peered through the crock pot lid a few times. Hmm, doesn’t look like the milk is thickening very much, I mused each time. Oh, well. Maybe it just needs more time.

My husband and other children arrived home from church. “Mmmm, what smells so good?” the kids asked.

“Macaroni,” I said smugly. They cheered as I prepared to serve it up.

The only problem was that it still didn’t look very thick. Sure, it had improved some, but I like my macaroni to be super thick, as in absolutely-no-liquid-at-all thick, and there was definitely liquid there. “Honey, it didn’t turn out!” I moaned to my husband outside the kids’ hearing. “I don’t know what happened, but there’s still liquid in it.”

“Call it ‘macaroni soup’,” my husband responded. “You know, ‘when life gives you lemons’….”

The kids loved Mommy’s Cheesy Macaroni Soup. “Wow, this tastes just like regular macaroni and cheese!” they said. (“Um, yeah. It’s pretty similar,” I said.)

So, thanks to my husband’s quick thinking, we had a great and somewhat exotic (“I’ve never had this before!” Kenny exclaimed) meal. We all enjoyed it. And Mommy still got those brownie points.

How different things would have been had I decided that because the meal didn’t turn out the way I planned, it was no good. I would have been bummed, and I probably would have presented the macaroni to the kids while saying something like, “I’m sorry it has so much liquid. You can just eat the macaroni pieces if you want.” They would have taken my cue that there was something wrong with it, and they wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as they did when I offered it to them as something special.

I wonder how much enjoyment you and I miss out on in life because things don’t turn out quite the way we planned. Many times when something doesn’t work out, we see that as negative instead of looking for the positive in the situation. For example, I wanted to go to church this morning. My daughter’s having allergies prevented that. But if I had focused on what I was missing by not being at church, I also would have missed the pleasure of spending quiet, uninterrupted time with her doing some of our favorite quiet activities together. I would have missed the gift God was offering because I was stuck on not having gotten the one I hoped for.

What is there in your life right now that might be an unexpected gift instead of the disaster it seems to be? Even if it is partially a disaster, might there also be something good you can get out of it? Sure, you wouldn’t have chosen this situation, but you’ve got it, so instead of focusing on the fact that it’s not what you wanted, maybe you could cooperate with God’s desire to redeem it in your life by asking Him what good He wants to give you in the midst of the bad.

I’m not saying to sweep your pain under the rug. After all, you’re well aware there’s too much liquid in the macaroni. But you can choose your perspective. You can either see it as an unmitigated disappointment, or you can decide that even though it’s not what you hoped, it can still, in some ways, be a good thing.

And sometimes, macaroni soup turns out to be more fun than plain old macaroni anyway.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Two Kinds of Best

Megan Breedlove June 4, 2012 No Comments

Sometimes, it seems as if motherhood is about settling for less.

We want to stay in shape, but we don’t have time, so we settle for buying an aerobics video and working out with it three times before we consign it to obscurity in the DVD cabinet.

We’d like to travel the world, but we settle for going to the grocery store by ourselves.

We want to develop our intellectual abilities, but we wouldn’t be able to get to a class, much less fit study time into our schedule or pay tuition. So we settle for memorizing the drive-thru orders for four different children at each of three different restaurants.

We’re frustrated, particularly when we feel we have a gift or ability in a certain area but no opportunity to develop that talent. We chafe under the limitations imposed on us by our circumstances.

I understand that feeling. I’ve been there too, wishing I could further develop the area of my gifting. I love the feeling of accomplishment that comes when I’ve done well and performed at a high level. But right now, furthering this interest is simply not possible due to, well, life.

I was thinking about this the other day. I felt frustrated that I wasn’t able to progress to the level of which I am capable. Sure, I’m working on the subject at a lesser level now, and I’m doing my best at it, but it’s not as good as my “real” best. At least, that’s how I saw it at the time.

I was wrong.

What God taught me when I was longing for what it’s not possible to have right now is this: there are two kinds of best. The first kind involves doing the best of which I am capable, considering my God-given abilities and interests. The second means doing the best of which I’m capable, considering the circumstances God has placed in my life.

The first kind is what I had wanted, what I had thought would excite me. The second kind, I learned, is what will satisfy me.

I know it can be disappointing not to be able to pursue an interest or skill. Sometimes, it’s extremely disappointing. But we make a terrible mistake if we assume that doing what God has said is not possible right now would be more satisfying than what He has said is possible.

We’re wrong if we think that doing our best at what we want to be called to would be more satisfying than doing our best at what we are called to.

How can I say this? How can I claim that pursuing distinction at a once-a-week class is more satisfying than excelling at full-time study? Or that making an awesome PBJ sandwich can be more fulfilling than going to culinary arts school?

Because if God’s design for your life right now is sandwiches made to the specifications of a two-year-old, you will experience His presence more fully when you get out the peanut butter than you would by going beyond His boundaries and enrolling in school. And that’s what satisfaction is: God Himself. Not better skills, increased knowledge, or more excitement. God Himself.

It’s not wrong to want to learn more or pursue a favorite interest. Not at all! The problem comes when we assume that God has given us the less-satisfying portion and denied us what would really make us happy. If that’s what we think, we’re finding happiness in our circumstances rather than in God’s presence.

Where do you find your happiness? In participating in things you enjoy? Or in being in God’s presence? If it’s the former, you’ll be disappointed every time things don’t work out or God says no. If it’s the latter, you’ll never be disappointed. Ever. Because His presence is always available to you, regardless of the circumstances.

This is what Jesus was talking about when He told the Samaritan woman that she should be asking for living water, not just the regular stuff in the well. He was making the point that earthly things do not ultimately satisfy, but that God’s presence does.

Do you want certain circumstances, or do you want God Himself? Do you spend more time praying that He will give you certain things so that you can be satisfied? Or do you spend more time praying that He will give you Himself?

For me, it’s often the “circumstances” option. But I don’t want that to be the case. I want God’s presence to be more important to me than anything else in life. I want to draw my satisfaction from a well that will never run dry. I want to experience true fulfillment, not just temporary excitement.

I pray this is what you want too.

Hebrews 13:5—Be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Psalm 142:5—I cry to you, O LORD; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living.”

John 4:10—Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

Sweet Blessings

Megan Breedlove May 21, 2012 No Comments

This past week, I had the blessing of attending the Colorado Christian Writer’s Conference, which I attend every year. It’s held on the campus of the YMCA of the Rockies in Estes Park, Colorado, nestled in the midst of the Rocky Mountains. It’s a gorgeous location and an educational and spiritually uplifting time—not to mention full of fun and fellowship with friends I’ve seen before and friends I meet for the first time.

Usually, I attend the conference by myself. This year, since Timmy is still nursing, I had to take him with me. I must admit that I wasn’t entirely looking forward to doing so. For one thing, I felt disappointed that I wouldn’t have the time to myself. For another, I wasn’t sure how well Timmy would do with traveling to a new place and being off his normal schedule.

I needn’t have worried. Timmy was a marvelous traveler, and though his eating and sleeping habits became somewhat disrupted by the trip, he sailed through it all with a peaceful, relaxed demeanor and happy smiles. Many of my fellow faculty members, as well as the conferees, were blessed by having him there and getting to play with him and hold him. And I was pleasantly surprised not only at how well he did but at what a sweet time Timmy and I had together, so much so that I think next year will feel lonely without him.

Our Father is so creative and generous in thinking of ways to bless us. This time, He gave me the unexpected gift of sweet memories that will last forever. Other times, He gives me (and you) blessings as varied as the infinite expressions of His creativity. Why? Because He loves us. Because He delights in expressing His inventive ways to bless us. Because He enjoys giving us something beyond what we asked or imagined.

What He doesn’t enjoy, however, is when we take His blessings for granted. When we start seeing them as our right rather than our privilege. When the things He intends to delight and surprise us bring little more than a “that’s nice”.

Had I gone to Colorado with Timmy expecting that God owed me the wonderful trip we had, I wouldn’t have appreciated it nearly as much. It wouldn’t have been the sweet time of fellowship that it was. And instead of focusing on the unending delights with which God was blessing me, I probably would have focused on making sure God was living up to what He was “supposed” to do—and maybe even complained if He didn’t do it.

God owes us nothing. Nothing. Each and every gift we receive from Him is a blessing we don’t deserve. Feeling entitled brings nothing but discontent when we don’t receive what we believe we’re entitled to; feeling grateful brings delight and wonder. Wonder that Almighty God would love us so incredibly much. Wonder that He would be willing to continue to bless us despite our lack of merit. Wonder that He would give us anything at all.

Do you take God’s blessings for granted? Do you spend more time complaining about what God didn’t do for you than rejoicing in and thanking Him for what He did do? If so, don’t let that go on any longer. Repent, and be grateful. If you already are grateful, continue to rejoice in His bounty. Name His blessings one by one and give thanks.

You know how much you love giving gifts to your own children and having them go wide-eyed with amazement. God feels the same way.

Psalm 8:4—What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?

Psalm 66:5—Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man.