How to Obey God

Reading, Writing, ’Rithmetic…and Respect

Megan Breedlove May 21, 2017 No Comments

When I picked Jessica up from school that day, I could tell that she was unhappy about something. “How was school today?” I asked.

“Not good,” she said. “Well, mostly good. But there’s something I’m really not happy about.”

Naturally, I asked, “What are you not happy about?”

It turned out that Jessica’s class had been outside for recess when a woman who was walking her dog passed by the playground. Several students ran over to the chain-link fence, saying, “I want to pet your dog!”

The woman graciously allowed them to do so, but Jessica knew they should have asked permission, instead of just telling the lady what they wanted to do. So she and another classmate walked over to the lady and the group of students so they could tell the students to ask politely.

It was at this point that their teacher saw several of her class clustered at the fence near a stranger. Ms. S. immediately walked over, calling the students to her. She explained to them that they had put themselves in a dangerous position by approaching a stranger who could easily have yanked them over the fence, and she told the students they would have to sit quietly during the rest of recess (about 5 minutes) as a reminder not to approach strangers.

Jessica was unhappy because she had approached the fence for what she felt was a proper reason, as well as because she didn’t feel there was any danger in approaching the woman. I explained Ms. S.’s thinking to Jessica, but Jessica was still frustrated. We discussed the incident for quite awhile, but Jessica just didn’t see my point. Ultimately, I wound up explaining to her that while I would have handled the situation differently, her teacher’s actions were not unreasonable. I told her that sometimes, we have to submit to authorities we don’t agree with (we teach our children that the only time they are to disobey a legitimate authority is if that person tells them to do something Jesus wouldn’t want them to do—and we’ve talked about what that would include), and I commended Jessica for submitting to her teacher’s authority even though she disagreed with the teacher’s decision.

Jessica still wasn’t happy. But that’s okay. Because in learning to process what happened on the playground, Jessica mastered far more than whatever academic information Ms. S. presented that day.

You and I face similar situations every day, and sometimes, we still struggle with responding correctly (and we’re a lot older than third grade!). We don’t like to have to obey rules we don’t agree with.

Take the speed limit, for example. Or, to go a little deeper, how about the rule about “no gossiping”? How about “exercise self-control in all things”?

We resent the rules we don’t like. We chafe under them. Often, we refuse to obey them.

I don’t know which of God’s principles you have the most difficulty obeying. But I know you have some that are difficult for you, because everyone does. We’re all sinners. We all disobey sometimes.

But I think Jessica got it right. Even when we don’t like God’s rule, we should obey with a good attitude. Why, because He’s God? Well, yes, that. But also because His rules—and the consequences for breaking them—are designed to protect us and teach us. They’re designed to help us avoid harm and receive blessings. They’re good for us.

Really? God’s law is always good?

I’ll let you answer that for yourself. But I’ll tell you this: when we disagree with God on the value of following His rules, well…He’s not the one who’s mistaken.

Psalm 119:1—Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD. (NIV)

When You Don’t Really Want to Obey

Megan Breedlove January 16, 2017 No Comments

The other day, I said to Timmy, “I want you to get all your Play-Doh off the table.” He reluctantly but obediently walked toward the mess, so I left the room. I came back later to find his Play-Doh off the table, all right. It lay scattered on the floor next to where he had been sitting.

Not too long before that, I set out to deep clean my sons’ room. In the process, I discovered many things that didn’t belong to my older son Kenny stuffed into Kenny’s shelves, drawers, and bins. It turned out that, when told to clean his room, Kenny had taken the things his sisters had left there and, instead of returning them to his sisters, simply shoved them out of sight.

Did my sons obey me? No. Sure, they complied with the letter of the law, but they completely disregarded its spirit. They chose obedience in name only over true obedience.

Good thing we moms never do that, right?

Okay, so we do. All the doggone time.

We fix lunch for our children, but then we slap it down in front of them, fed up with doing menial jobs. We get up in the middle of the night to tend a sick child and resent him or her for interrupting our sleep. We agree to take our kids to the library, grumbling inwardly that nobody seems to care how we wanted to spend the afternoon.

In any of these three cases, did we do what God wanted us to? No. At least, not fully. Because God doesn’t just ask us to drive the car, fix the meals, or tend the sick. He asks us to do it with a willing, grateful spirit.

Ouch.

There have been several times this past week where I indeed served my children and did the things God wanted me to do, yet still failed to fully obey, because I didn’t have the attitude He wanted me to have.

But that’s normal, you might protest. After all, we moms are human beings, too. Surely, we can’t be expected to have a good attitude all the time.

Actually, that’s exactly what God expects. Because while we may not be able to control how tired our body or emotions are, or even whether our body is physically healthy or able, we can always control how we choose to respond and the kind of thoughts we choose to dwell on.

Always? Yes, always. Because Scripture plainly states that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. Which means that if we have a bad attitude, we can’t blame it on the circumstances that God is permitting in our lives. We can’t blame it on others or on how they treat us.

We have only ourselves to blame.

But it’s so hard!

Yes, my friend, indeed, it is! It’s very hard sometimes. But let’s get back to 2 Peter 1:3, where Peter writes that God has given us everything we need for godliness—in other words, for having the right attitude despite our circumstances. Everything we need, not just some things.

True, there may be times when we try to have the right attitude, but we come dangerously close to failing. What then? Then, we cry out to God and ask Him to change our attitude. He can do anything, you know, and if we truly need help, He’s always there to give it. Every thing. Every time.

So the next time you’re tempted to roll your eyes in disgust, or to let out one of those “I can’t believe I have to deal with this” sighs, stop. Just stop. And remember, in that moment, just one word.

Everything.

2 Peter 1:3—His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. (ESV)

How to Get Out of Obeying the Rules

Megan Breedlove November 21, 2016 No Comments

I’m normally a pretty law-abiding citizen. I believe, as I’m sure you do, that honoring the authorities God has placed over us in turn honors Him. But I admit that there are some laws I really wish I didn’t have to obey.

Take, for example, the speed limit. I’d get out of being subject to that one, if I could. I’d much rather choose the speed I want to go than abide by a limit that is usually (in my opinion, at least) much too slow.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the authorities really care what I want, at least as far as this matter is concerned. The speed limit law remains in place whether I like it or not, and it’s not likely to be repealed anytime soon.

So I guess I’m stuck with obeying it. Because I also can’t figure out a way to make Timmy’s “getting out of undesirable requirements” strategy work in my case. Let me tell you what he did recently, beginning with a little background.

On the wall of our kitchen, we have a white board (dry erase board). When there’s something we need to remember, such as which child received which medication at which time, we write it down on the board. It’s a cheap, convenient way to keep track of things that are temporarily important.

Occasionally, my husband will write a list of chores on the board that he wants the kids to be sure to accomplish that day. Timmy knows Phil does this. One day, Phil entered the kitchen to find the white board blank. The grocery list he’d written was no longer there. “Who erased the grocery list from the white board?” he asked.

Timmy glanced at him and sheepishly said, “I did.”

“Why did you do that?” Phil asked.

“Because I thought they were chores and you were going to make me do one of them,” Timmy said.

That’s actually some pretty good thinking, for a four-year-old who will turn five in a couple months. If you see something you believe is a list of things that you don’t want to do, and you are afraid you might get assigned to do one or more of them, then you just erase the list! Bingo—no more chores! Right?

You and I, as moms, realize that it doesn’t work like this. If it had been a list of chores that Timmy erased, they wouldn’t have ceased to be necessary just because they were no longer written where he could see them. We’re amused by Timmy’s strategy because we know better.

Which doesn’t explain why we try something very similar when we don’t want to obey one of God’s laws.

How many of us who, like me, dislike speed limits, simply ignore them and drive whatever speed we think we can drive without getting caught? How many of us ignore the fact that God says we should speak kindly to one another, justifying our harsh or critical words by saying we’ve had a bad day? How many of us eat whatever we want, whenever we want, because we don’t want to face the Bible’s teachings on gluttony?

Yeah. We’re starting to sound more and more like Timmy, aren’t we?

You know what? Ignoring God’s laws doesn’t make them go away. Keeping them from our conscious awareness doesn’t mean we’re not guilty when we transgress them. The Holy Spirit wants us to feel guilty at the right times so that we can correct whatever is going wrong. Silencing His voice is just as bad for us spiritually as ignoring intense pain would be for us physically.

Is there something in your life that you continue to do, knowing that you really shouldn’t? Have you traded the spiritual joy of doing God’s will for the fleeting pleasure of having your own way?

God has already made His list and written it where you can see it, if you’re willing to look.

Don’t erase the white board.

James 1:25—But the one looking intently into the perfect law, the law of freedom, and continuing in it, not being a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in his work. (MGT)

When You Want to Help…But You Don’t Really Want To

Megan Breedlove April 4, 2016 No Comments

Whenever it sounds like I’m doing something fun, my four-year-old son, Timmy, is very eager to help. One of the things that ranks right up there at the top of his “Fun Things to Do” list is cooking. So the other day, when I announced that I was going to make lunch, Timmy asked excitedly, “Can I help? Can I help?”

“Sure, Timmy,” I said as he followed me into the kitchen. I was planning on serving fajitas, so I added, “First, you can help me by putting the beans in this bowl.”

“I don’t think I can do that,” Timmy said.

“Do you want me to help you?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Timmy said, not even looking at the beans.

So I put all the beans in the bowl. Then I said, “Now you can stir them.”

“Uh…you do it,” Timmy said as he stood on the step stool at the counter, twirling back and forth and grinning.

I had thought Timmy wanted to help. And usually, he’s very eager to do anything I allow him to do in relation to cooking. But that time, he was more interested in standing on the stool next to me and playing.

Isn’t that how it often is with you and me, but in relation to God? We tell Him we want to help Him. We tell Him what a privilege it is to participate with Him in His work, and how grateful we are that He would use us. But then when He asks us to do something, we say, “Uh…no thank you.”

Just like Timmy, what we really want is not to help God, but to have fun. If we can do both at the same time, great. But if it comes down to choosing one or the other, far too often, we choose fun over helping God. Either that, or we do what He’s asked, but grudgingly.

We both know how God feels about that. In fact, Jesus told a parable about a man who asked his two sons to help him. One son said no, but then later changed his mind and helped. The other son immediately said yes, but then when it came down to it, he did nothing. Jesus made it very clear that the one who pleased his father was the one who did what his father wanted, not the one who said he would help but then couldn’t be counted on when the time came.

Which son are you? Which am I? Both of us would say we want to do God’s will. But when God asks something of us that we don’t want to do, which son will we be like? Will we choose to do as the Father asks? Or will we show Him that we didn’t really want to help him after all?

Matthew 21:28-31—“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’ ‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?” (NIV)

What to Do When God Says No

Megan Breedlove April 14, 2014 No Comments

The other day, Timmy and I had what I think was an actual conversation. Sort of, anyway. It went like this:

Timmy: “Want more snack.”

Me: “Sorry, there isn’t any more.”

Timmy: “Want more snack.”

Me: “It’s all gone.”

Timmy: “Want more snack.”

Me: “You can’t have anymore. It’s. All. Gone.”

Timmy: “Waaaaaaaaaah!”

Seriously, that was how it went. It was like my words just weren’t registering with him, or maybe were irrelevant. Timmy simply kept repeating his request, again and again, despite my having said no the first few times.

Until finally he gave up and had a fit about it.

I was struck by the parallels between Timmy’s approach to me and our approach to God sometimes. God tells us we can’t have something for whatever reason, and we keep pleading for it. We keep begging for something we should know is not good for us because God has already said no.

Sometimes, though, we go beyond what Timmy did—the pleading. We simply decide to take what we want despite the fact God doesn’t mean for us to have it. Or perhaps we keep engaging in it, never mind the truth that God’s Word tells us we shouldn’t.

We simply don’t want to accept God’s “no”.

The response I wanted from Timmy was quite different. I wanted him to accept the fact that I’d said no and stop asking. I wanted him to move on to something else.

It’s the same response God wants from us. When He has said no to something, He wants us to accept His answer, stop asking, and move on.

Yes, we may be disappointed at His “no”. That’s okay. What’s not okay is to keep begging for something or engaging in a particular behavior when He has clearly said “no”.

That person we want to be in a relationship with? If God has said no, it’s time to move on and find someone else.

That way we want to act, but we know it doesn’t please God? Stop acting that way, and act the way He meant for us to.

Those circumstances we want to change, when God has said that for right now, they are what He wants for us? We stop asking Him to change them and start asking Him to change our ability to live with them.

True, when we don’t know God’s answer, we should keep asking. The Bible commands us to do that. But when God has said no, we accept it and move on, knowing that He has something better in store for us—whether that be pleasing circumstances or simply a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him.

Are you still stuck asking for what you can’t have? Or are you ready to accept what God wants you to have?

Isaiah 55:8— “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. (NIV)

Not Quite Right

Megan Breedlove July 22, 2013 2 Comments

The other day, the kids and I joined Phil in the cafeteria at his work for supper. The kids got to eat their favorite foods and play on the awesome playground. To top it all off, Daddy announced that he was buying everyone frozen yogurt!

We went to the frozen yogurt shop, where everyone got to have tastes of the various kinds and then choose a yogurt (cone or cup) with whatever kind of toppings they wanted. Even Timmy got some, as I partially filled a cone with vanilla yogurt for him.

Timmy immediately began eating his yogurt, diving right into it with his entire face. He was happy as a clam. Until, apparently, the yogurt level in the cone got too low and he had to find another solution for getting the remaining yogurt out of the cone and into his mouth.

“Mommy,” one of the kids called out, “Timmy’s eating his cone upside down, and he’s really making a mess.”

Sure enough, Timmy had turned the cone upside down to get at the last few bites of yogurt. The only problem was that some of the yogurt fell out the top of the cone and all over him. He had the cone about half eaten from the bottom by the time we discovered him. He didn’t seem to be bothered by the mess dripping down his face and arm and covering his clothes. He was content with having found a way to get at the remainder of his sweet treat.

The way Timmy was eating the cone was not quite right—at least not in the traditional sense. But it served his purposes. The only problem was that it made a huge mess.

You and I sometimes try to eat our cones from the bottom too. What do I mean? Simply this: that sometimes, when something’s not happening the way it’s “supposed” to, we turn to alternate means of getting the results we want.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we need a little creativity to make things happen. The problem comes in when we choose methods that aren’t in line with the way God wants things done. We try to force things ourselves. And when that happens, we always make a mess.

When our husband doesn’t show us the sensitivity or understanding we hope for, we choose to nag him instead of pray for him and speak with him calmly. We make a mess.

When our kids don’t obey us, instead of praying and working on discipline, we yell. Messy.

When we want to feel good about ourselves, instead of seeking affirmation from God and appropriate encouragement from others, we brag. Or we tear others down verbally. Or we gossip. Messy, messy, messy.

It all depends on whether or not God wants that last little bit of ice cream to be eaten. If so, it’s okay to turn the cone upside down. But if He doesn’t—if He’s said there is to be no more yogurt for us—we dare not turn the cone upside down unless we want to make a huge mess God never intended.

Getting the things God wants by using a little honest creativity (upside down cone) is probably fine. Getting things we want but God doesn’t by using that same creativity? Or forcing things to happen that God has said no to? Not okay.

Be careful when you turn that cone upside down. Getting what you want by the wrong means is never, ever as satisfying as getting, by the proper means, what God wants you to have.

Deuteronomy 10:12—And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. (ESV) (emphasis mine)

Timmy the Explorer

Megan Breedlove February 25, 2013 4 Comments

If you have been following the exploits of my son Timmy (either on my Facebook author page or here on Manna for Moms), you know by now that he is an explorer. Which is a nice way to say he is into everything.

One of the things that seems to be especially exciting for him is doors. I think in Timmy’s mind, he is convinced that just on the other side of any door lies something marvelous. So he spends a lot of time opening cabinets and drawers, banging them closed, opening them again, and playing with whatever he finds inside. (And then leaving it on the floor for someone else to pick up.)

He also has hearing like a bat. Whenever I open an exciting door such as the refrigerator door or the front door to our home, Timmy heads toward it like a rocket. He loves to go outside or to scale the shelves in the refrigerator. The other day, we didn’t realize that he had somehow removed a package of lunch meat from the fridge while he was climbing it. We later found the empty package on my bedroom floor. The ham from the package was under a nearby blanket.

The point is that Timmy regards any open door as an invitation to head right on through. He doesn’t seem to stop to question whether or not he should go through the door; he just goes, in the confident expectation that grand adventure awaits him on the other side.

Too bad we can’t be more like Timmy when it comes to doors God opens for us.

I don’t mean that we should indiscriminately head through every open door; we need to consider which doors have been opened for us by God. But when God has opened a door for us, we need to head right on through, in the confident expectation that something grand awaits us.

Too often, though, we’re like Moses. We see an open door, and we say, “I can’t do that, God. You see, I (fill in the blank with whatever excuse comes to mind).”

I’m not smart enough. I don’t know how. I’m not as good at it as so-and-so.

Do we really think that the God who calls us to go through the door doesn’t know our limitations? And if Almighty God, knowing our weaknesses, commands us to walk through the door, who are we to make any excuse at all? Especially when He’s promised to go with us and enable us every step of the way to perform that which He’s told us to do?

Someone might laugh at me. People might not understand. I might lose friends (or family).

Okay, this one is a little tougher. We all know that it can be incredibly painful when people make fun of us. When they imply, or say it straight out, that we’re doing something stupid. When they desert us.

But God doesn’t ask us to do anything alone. He goes with us. And not only does He walk with us and in us, but He will also fill us with all the love, peace, and companionship that Almighty God is capable of (which is a LOT more than mere human beings can do). Yes, we might lose some relationships. We might be on the receiving end of some pretty hurtful actions. But God longs to fill our empty places with Himself. So if our heart is left a little more empty by someone who has damaged his or her relationship with us, or broken that relationship, that only leaves another spot in our heart that is now available to be filled by God. This is not a net loss.

I’m afraid. This will be hard.

It’s okay to be afraid. God understands that we will sometimes be afraid of doing what He’s asked us to do, or that we will only be able to do it with much agony and trembling. Look at Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane right before His arrest that led to His crucifixion. He was so anguished in His spirit that He sweat blood. Yet He still walked through the door. And the Jesus who showed a mind-blowing level of courage in allowing the soldiers to take Him captive and later crucify Him is the same Jesus who will grant us the same courage to walk through the door we need to go through.

So let’s walk through the door He sets before us. But let’s not fix our eyes on what we’re afraid might await us on the other side, or what we’re certain will await us. Let’s walk through that door with our eyes fixed on the God who called us, trusting Him to guide us every step of the way, as we walk through the door and then beyond.

Revelation 3:8—“I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.” (ESV)

Hebrews 12:2—Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (KJV)

2 Corinthians 4:18—So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (NIV)